The moment of loss and the realization not to give up

When i went to the office one morning, i went to the CR to pee, when i wiped, i wiped red blood, i got so scared knowing that I am, i was 7 weeks pregnant. I immediately went out the office and went to have TVS. I bought myself another test pack, i peed again, and one coin-like blood got flushed. To my dismay, the result still went positive. Doctors have found nothing but blood clot all over my uterus, and they advised me, "you possibly miscarried the baby". My hopes were shattered but still i remained strong. i went out the clinic, and found my hubby waiting for me. His face looks so sad as i approached him. I told him the truth. Thank God he is there for me, he made me strong.

I visit my OBGYN and she told me that i really lost my baby at 7 weeks. i slowly accepted the fact, that i am no longer pregnant, no longer expecting. It was painful; family, friends and office mates sent via text their greatest sorry for the loss. I realized that somehow, i still have my friends with me. Few weeks after, my hubby and i got promoted from our work, hopes are still there. Our baby wanted to let us know that we shall never give up even though we lost him/her, i know he/she will always be there for us, that made me shed tears every time i long for him/her, oh how i long to hug and give my sincerest thanks.

Now, i am regenerating myself for another try, hopefully this time, i can carry it, so that by the end of the 9 months in my tummy, i can finally hold him/her, touch him/her and listed to his/her cry. surely that would be the best thing that could happen in my life. Help me pray.