Oct 13, 2012
when i woke up this morning i thought i was going to die. seriously. like really like seriously. ok maybe not die but. i slept 5-6 hours this is a miracle for me. but i woke with a migraine and i took a imitrex which is helping but. ever since i got clean, like last july no last july 2011 my sinuses have been a train wreck. i mean. 14 years on that **** and ohmygoodlord i mean. i know. i used to be cute, funny, sweet and smart and cool but now i'm just a big huge mucous factory. it's unattractive i know but true. its like .... awful! yes i can use those sprays and benedryl it realy don't make a helluva lot of difference. a little ... not a lot.
and when i got that virus ten days ago or what not god! it's been even worse since that. it's messing with my head, my nose, throat and ... my stomach. i honestly feel like i am going to barf.
yay. welcome to my sinus nightmare.
but i do feel a little better sence i first got up. i ate a cookie and ... do i have to eat that huge big breakfast on weekends too? i don't feel like going running or going to the eye doctor. my eyes too tire. i can't do those tests feeling like this. vision tests are harder than the SAT for me. 'can you read the last line for me?" um ... q ... y ... i ... o?????? wrong. i could not read that to save my life.
ok i admit it. i'm watching a 90s movie with Pauly Shore. im so sorry. but it also has that skinny blond chick joey something she has three names and a little tiny little girl voice. i liker her.
this part is strictly for you, Hstlr: i am so sorry. i am so sorry honey i am so so so so so so sorry that omg id even k what to say. well. i mean, three months? three months????? what were you thinking??? omg. why. why do you have to do that to yourself, honey really i don't understand. i am so ffffin sorry i am so so so so sorry. it was on my mind all night. it made me feel really heavy. honestly dear i do not understand the sequence of events at the end of May. i realy don't. but i'm sorry this whole period has been so hard for you. you are going to be better. you always do it. and you'll do it again. i promise if you need this i will lie low. ... it's yours too. ok i'm out. la la, mp.
i'm feeling a little better. maybe i could run this mig out. you know, just run til i am breathing and more relaxed? right now my jaw and my teeth are like grinding so tight. i think it's a little chilly out but not bad, sort of wet i guess but ...um.
i was thinking if my friend is not stressed about the site visit ... well, but when i went to the meeting all the lay dees were super stressed and A. was having trouble even focusing and she is the guru of the esl world. and K. i asked her what she was most stressed about and she said, "well, everything. but mainly the lesson and observation." seriously for me that is the least of it. i have been thru accreditations before. this panel is 3 retired guys A. already told me. just turn on the charm no? ok. but these stacks of paperwork are dogging me, and everything the director wants me to tell charlotte id even k where all the notes are that i took jeez us!!!! im freaking out again.
but i mean i could reframe it to myself. it's just a job. i can lose this job. it pays nothing. im totally overworked. i commute two hours a day. omg!!!! this is longest i've held a job in 3 years.
my brain feels like it's in a vice grip and my body feels like pasta dough being shoved through one of those hand held like cheese graters??? something like that.
what are the 3 males in my house doing?
you guessed it.
it ain't fair.