Oct 14, 2012
Today was better. i still feel like i am never going to get 30 days, but i know i should be living just one day ... i mean not flipping ahead like life is a big rolodex.
i went to a meeting in the afternoon. i did not want to. and i sat there feeling angry and resentful and having a super bad attitude. i texted my sponsor about how much i hated it and it was a waste of time. she wrote, "okay." i was so pissed off when i read that. but then the speaker lady said something good. just one thing! but still. and i heard two ppl share who were so sad i felt guilty for complaining about anything. they were in trouble capital t.
i did not sleep well but i did a bunch of stuff and i am glad. went to the track & ran four laps. the last one just about killed me but the others were good. felt good after. did free weights, my triceps are slightly less deplorable. went to get lunch (tomatoes, basil, wheat bread, olive oil; miso; oranges) at the market. i felt gifted there, i really did. i was looking around like, 'wow i'm shopping!' and i was not freaking out about being in the store. and it's so beautiful here outside with the mountains just clear now after the rains ... very nice.
spent two and a half hours creating a filing system and reviewing docs for work. went to the eye dr and he fixed my prescrip so my right eye can see! now i'm at -8.5 in the left and -9.5 in the right. good god. but i saw so clearly and he gave me a pair of contacts to wear home. yay! everything was so crystal clear and i felt so great being able to see so good.
and there is no drinking going on in my house tonite even though the mechanic friend guy is drinking. so that's amazing! i guess i am really proud of my h. idk what is up with that.
just, the ony movies on tv are for halloween and they're all bloody and scary and i can't find a regular old drama!!!! or romance. jeez.
happy right angle clean day.
and it's a good thing i worked out because i am eating a big chocolate soft serve ice cream like the old dairy queen? yeah. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
good night medhelp. i hope you sleep and i hope i sleep too.