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Distructive behavior or Justified need

Oct 25, 2012 - 1 comments
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distructive

,

needs

,

Behavior



I bought a 2011 Elantra today, its my first car that I'm solely responsible for, in terms of financial and I have know the payments are more then I can afford.  However its essential to my job to have a car, and a reliable one at that because every week I am in a different part of the area, someone weeks my round trip travel could be 120 miles × 4 days. Other weeks it could be only 20 miles.
My new car I chose carefully for both great reliability ratings and it gets 40 miles to the gallon!
Aside from needing transportation to work, and the huge amount of stress caused from having to rely on others for a riding or to borrow the vehicle (always on that is a gas guzzler and/or on the verge of breaking down ), I am buying this car because I removed  more and more what a toxic relationship and emotional beating I go through when I live with my aunt,but its multipled greatly for anything I financially depend on her for (anything I depend on period from her ).  
With my husband separating us, and my move out to not only new city but county as well, I have had very little positive socializing out side of anyone who visits. The heartbreak and depression is already unbearable, but the added feelings of being stranded, and restricted to very little area is dragging me further into oblivion. Not being able to go visit a friend, when it becomes to toxic at the house I'm living in, or just go somewhere I can do anything I want because I don't have to bring back my aunt s car or even sometimes being told I can't borrow it even if she doesn't use it at all. Its just so strenuous on my already broken emotional health.
Even though I feel my reason s are valid in purchasing the car, I can't help but wonder if I'm just feeding a distinctive behavior and justifying it irrationally.

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by TTinKKerBBell, Oct 25, 2012
Well, You asked.  It DOES seem like destructive behavior.  Your first sentence states the payments are more than You can afford.
That being said, my heart is heavy for the heartache and pain You have endured.


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