Anshiloh all I can say is just from my experience , but it gets a little better every day... After the physical w/d the anxiety and helplessness was very troublesome... But like I said is getting better each day... The others on here are very informative on supplements that may help... There is hope!!!!! It's just a very hard struggle until you get there... Which is so worth it in the end... 14 days is great just hang in there until you can see the doctor ...
I am doing better the last 2 days! NO tramadol! I am glad I tossed it becasue I GAURANTEE I would have given in I felt that bad. Maybe it was the percocet because honestly it was the first time I felt cravings in a LOOONG time!
I made appt with my doctor for AD but its not until Nov 2nd. UGHHHHH!!!!!
I really do want effexor I don't care of I have to do a slowww taper once or if I decide to get off! It works great for me!
All the new people I am so proud of you for enduring what I felt was the hardest yet most rewarding thing of my life. I have to remember that rewarding part! Sometimes all I can think about was the even moods, energy and niceness while I was on it. I was more focused etc. But I know it had me trapped so I am hoping the effexor will give me those things minus the "addictive personality" things in it.
Hang in there everyone.
Movemeyond: I am so very proud of you honey! YOu WILL conquer. You WILL beat this and you WILL win and it will feel damn good! You have endured so long! You will do it! Much love to you!
Fullmetal as always your encouragement and love shines through. Thank you for your concern! You are loved as well!
EpiphanyRose thank you again for your wonderful encouragement. I know at the beginning of your journey my story gave you encouragment. I hope I didn't discourage you in any way. How are you? I may have missed several updates. My time is so limited now with new baby.
Forgive all the typos I am typing one handed and baby in the other! Too lazy to fix it.
I upped my vit d a couple days ago and my cod liver oil! Hoping that will help me! I also know eating is HUGE when you feel so crappy. If I don't eat it effects my depression!
Just sitting here waiting until NOv 2nd. Comon' Nov 2nd. :)
Please say a prayer doctor will give me effexor. He wanted to do zoloft and I CANNOT take that stuff. I have taken several different kinds and paxil and especially Effexor worked the best for me 11 years ago. I don't want to gain wait to I want to do effexor. :)
Thanks to Tallbean, Fullmetalalchemist and EpiphanyRose for your kind and helpful words. I am on day 15 with no hydrocodone or tramadol or any thing with narcotics in it. It's mighty rough and I feel as if there is no end to it. Please let me know if you come up with anything helpful. Thanks a great deal.
hello everyone....i think she is getting worse...she says she wants to be alone....and not see any body.....and she wants to pack her job in....what made you all want to come off these evil pills????? there messing with her mind big time........i dont no what to do anymore......i poped in after work before she was so nasty......blameing me for everythink.....i then told her to be strong and fight it......they have proper screwed her mind up.......what made you all see sense...........
I agree with Fullmetal: you should get some medical help. It's wonderful, indeed amazing, that you've gotten to day 15 on cold turkey, but there's no reason to continue to suffer without some assistance.
@ Tramrevil: I don't mean to be hurtful but it may be that your girlfriend has to hit "rock-bottom" before she faces up to her addiction. "Rock-bottom" will be different for each person, but it will be some experience that will wake her up and convince her that she doesn't want to continue to live as a slave to tramadol.
@ Goatfarmer: really happy to hear that you've turned a corner. Keep fighting!
HumbledXtian. Thanks for the post. My wife is taking me to an AA,NA meeting tonight as I will not drive in this condition. I also have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a week. I am still living min. To min. On day 15 but I will make it.
Your post to @ Tramrevil was great advice even though you were tough. You sound like my wife, as tough love is necessary at times like this.
Tramrevil. You sound hopeful & lost. I am Shiloh & do not know how to post you direct as I do not know much about computers or this site. I hope you see this. I have been on tramadol & hydracodone for the last 8 years. The last 18 months I have really abused it. Tramadol 50mg about 7 or more a day & hydracodone 7.5mg 7 or more a day. I am 74 years old & I am getting off all narcotics synthetic or the real thing. If I can do it your girl friend can but she has to want to. I feel for both of you but she is going to have to have lots of support and understanding 24 hours a day. Tramadol is the most horrible drug around & very addictive. Please understand what she will be going thru and if you have never been there it is impossible to understand. If you want to tell me more about her condition, what she is taking (amount) how long,or any info you care to give I will talk with you about it.
AnShiloh GOOD FOR YOU!!!! You outa be proud. I TOTALLY agree Tramadol is the WORST drug to get off.
Infact if someone where to hand me a narcotic (any narcotic) or a tramadol I would have always (in the past) chose the tramadol! Thats how addicting it is. I much prefered the increased energy feeling I got from the tramadol. Little did I know it would drag me down into its deep pit!
So glad to be off. Now if only I could get all the years of my use back because now I am suffering blood pressure issues, and other issues.
Goatfarmer. Thanks for the kind words. I am on day 16 & more hopeful but really frightened. I know I have to get over that and concentrate on today & the future. Hope you are having a nice day. Thanks again.
Does anyone know some homeopathic meds that can help with withdraw symptoms? I am stuck at 1 and 3/4 a day. I feel like this should be so easy but it's not. The restlessness and achiness suck so bad! What vitamins can I boost to help thru this and how long should it take for me go get off this last 1 and 3/4 pills? Thank you all for your support!!
Fish oil tablets are good. B12 sublingual tablets are great for energy, and a daily multi-vitamin is just good overall. given how much any opiate can deplete your body of the necessary nutrients it needs to function properly.
Comfort food is important - but stuff like yogurt, chicken soup, fruit juices, will probably be all you can handle for now. Ensure will help (for the protein). Showers - HOT showers - will help a great deal with anxiety and baths with epsom salts will help with overall body aches. Melatonin will eventually help with your sleep, and bananas, because of their potassium content, will help with the RLS (restless legs syndrome).
It's possible to live a good life after tramadol, to feel good again, to laugh (and cry for that matter) naturally... it's all good. FEELING life again is good. Numbing your life with tramadol? Not worth it.
But it's possible to get past this. And I am living proof of that. Keep on warriors, you CAN do this. I promise. :)
Also believe it or not, honey helped me. Really fast too.
As you taper lower, the percentage cuts become larger. So that is why it often gets harder as you go lower. It's normal, but very very unpleasant. I'm Done No More is right ... totally right. Be comforted, it will be ok. I also found anger very very helpful ...
Nomoretrams- how are u taking the 1and3/4 a day? Do you mean restless- like anxiety or restlessness like not sitting still and legs at night?
I agree with done nomore- fish oil is a great help with sublingual b12 for energy.
What is your wean strategy?
Shiloh- how was the meeting? Are you sleeping? How is your blood pressure?
Great point, emily. Allowing myself to feel that anger was huge for me in my recovery. HUGE.
And btw, Emily, it means SO much to me to still see you posting here. Not sure if you know this, but my biggest motivator and source of comfort during those early days was you and the words you wrote in this very place. You helped me understand this addiction and the drug behind it more than anyone else ever has. Sometimes I wonder if you have ANY idea how many lives you saved? :)
Good threads, helps to know so many good people are in the same boat. I'm no angel, I've enjoyed a pill buzz here & there, but even after 1-3 days of a strong pill, I would feel so crappy when I stopped that I never got had any kind of addiction problem, because I didn't want to feel like that at all. Never withdrawal's, just a "pill hangover". I run a biz with my Wife, work ridiculous hours and have the highest stress load I've ever had in my life. A few year's ago, I asked the Doc for non-narcotic pain relief that I could go to work on for bad knee's. Of course he prescribed Tram's. I loved the little high, and they did the trick for pain. I only took them a short time, and don't remember having any type of serious w/d's when I quit. I had some left over, and a buddy gave me a bunch. Got an injury, and I started taking the Tram's I had lying around. It's been 8 months now. I didn't even worry about what I was doing, the Doc told me up to 8 a day, and I had only been taking between 2-6 a day. Didn't take some about 2 weeks ago for no reason, and of course got sick as heck. Recognized w/d's, but still wasn't sure that's what it was until taking a pill obviously cured me. Been on between 2 1/2 - 4 a day now for 3 weeks. I wasn't even taking close to what the Doc said I could. So frustrating! Right now the weening is ruling my life. I have a few good hours in the morning, and I wait until I'm pretty miserably before I take the evening dose, so I can sleep till at least 4am. Been leaving work early whenever I can, and slipping an extra pill the day's I can't. It seem's like such a low dose, less than half what I was prescribed. Only have enough left for 3 more days at the rate I'm taking. Cold Turkey and working full time prob not going to happen? Would a Doc prescribe me more? I want off, I'm ticked that this happened. I quit smoking cold turkey 2 years ago from 2 packs a day. Not even a comparison! My Wife doesn't know, and I can't just keep not feeling good for week's. My job is so demanding right now. Maybe in a few weeks when this current large project is completed I could take a week off and go to my Folks cabin solo, get it over with. Not an option for at least 2 weeks. Any idea how best to get thru the next 2 weeks? BTW, I'm in construction, very physical job. Feeling sick and doing my job is not working out to great, lol.
Hi all. I hope this is not a duplication. I am on day 17 and am feeling a little better. Thanks to all the ones who have helped me with their kind & helpful words & encouragement to all who are starting to get off those filthy drugs. If you are thinking about or have started good for you. Do not let anything make you take another one of those demon drugs. You can make it.
Farmer- not normal.
Frustrated- glad you posted. Yes....I am thinking you could get a refill from the doctor for the next 2 weeks.
It is good to plan out your withdrawal and be as prepared as you can. Many good suggestions on this site.
Emily: thank you for starting your blog. I am on day 18 & still struggling but have not taken anything with any narcotics or any tramadol. I am better & will make it, I am determined.
Any one starting to get off hydrocodone &/ or tramadol please post me & I will try to help. I am not a Dr. But have been going thru withdrawal c/t from these drugs & I might be able to give you some info or just talk with you while you are struggling.
Went to the Doc today. Got enough for 3 a day until Nov 7th. Rented my Folks cabin for a week starting the night of the 7th. I'll be stuck working extra long days leading up to the 7th to be able to take that much time off, so not sure how great I'll do on the weaning. Def gonna cut back whatever I can and still function. I told the Doc everything, was happy to find out she was very supportive and had heard of a couple other cases with Tramadol. Felt good to tell someone in person, lol, I almost cried. I look like a stereotype biker/construction worker, not much of a public crying type guy.
So, I will have been at 3 per day for a total of 4 weeks when I completely run out, by myself in a cabin at the beach. Sounds kinda horrible. Anyone have any kind of time frame for how things may go based on the amount I've been at? Think I would be good enough off to have my kids join me after 3 days? So gald I found this site, was good to walk into the Doc's educated and able to ask the right questions. I'm not a fan of antidepressants, last time I took any was over 10 yrs ago, and the side effects were not worth it! Doc convinced me to try a new one, at a very low dose. Hoping with the mild dose antidepressant that after I weather the initial w/d's the weeks after wont be so bad. Any thoughts? Last question; Should I tell my Wife of 13 years what's going on? On one hand, she has to be wondering what's wrong with me. Ever since I started weening I haven't been myself at all. What if she questions everything and every decision I made all Summer tho? I know I am! It seems best to just beat it by myself, and never let anyone know how bad off I let myself get. ***** to do it alone tho, after weeks of weening I'm getting tired of hiding it, would be so much easier to have some support.
Frustrated- nice work! I bet it felt good to tell someone! It is hard to be in a non stop living he!! and isolated within the madness. The word is getting out about tram. Glad your doc had some experience with other patients in trouble with this 'non addictive pain reliever' yeah- rrrright.
I would suggest a few things. FOR SURE - omega 3 fish oil. At least 4 grams a day. 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. Start now if you can, but be sure you have these at the cabin. These (along with the antidepressant) will stop the 'brain zaps'.
Your doc would know about the following and I would ask her if you like the idea.....I used clonidine .1-.2mg three times a day as needed (and you'll need it) for the terrible anxiety in early withdrawal. This is a blood pressure medication that is COMMONLY used in opiate withdrawal. She will know. Ask her for enough to take them for 2 weeks or so.
AND if she would be willing to give you a few xanax, valium or klonopin ( benzodiazepines) just to help with sleep for the first 3-4 nights. ( these help!) the sleep problems were pretty tough. The restless legs were a b*tch....and benadryl made the restless legs worse for me.
As far as telling your wife? There are people on this board who have told their partner and people who haven't.
They have had their reasons for these choices that made sense to them. Sounds like you worry that she will question your judgement of late. You discovered , when speaking with your MD , how good it feels to tell someone (live!)
I know about that. Maybe you could just see how things develop over the next days or so and your feelings will guide you.
The kids, after day 3? I wouldn't have been able to do any entertaining, but the company would be nice. If they can be independent and don't mind dad getting up at night ( shower, hot bath- whatever) and then dad having some energy....but not much...maybe zero....sure. Would they ask what the heck is going on? What would you say?
It looks like a flu to outsiders who don't know.....
anyway....the depression and anxiety were the worst for me. I used an AD and the clonidine with good effect in withdrawal. The rest of the stuff is annoying and draining as he!!....aches, horrible lack of energy, nausea, restless legs ( only at night, tho) little ....little sleep....
But after day 4 those things started getting better for me.....
Again....nice work. I like how your plan is developing AND you have time for mental preparation as well as further culling from the journal about strategies to manage the withdrawal.
I told my Wife yesterday evening. I fealt it wasn't fair for her to think maybe she had done anything wrong, or there was something wrong in our marriage or personal life together. She doesn't deserve any blame or guilt! Plus, I really want to cut as much as possible before the c/t on the 7th, and it's going to be obvious somethings wrong with me. We had fun weekend plans, only way I could have pulled that off would have been to take at least 3, if not 3 1/2-4. She was amazingly understanding, and we canceled our fun weekend plans so I could up my misery level. I'm so blessed to have a strong marriage partner! She's going to go with me as much as possible to the Cabin, which sounds good to me.
So not looking forward to Cold Turkey, lol, wierd to plan to have an awful time. Took 1/2 pill last night instead of full pill. Of course woke up hours early with my legs driving me nuts. Did anyone else on here Cold Turkey from 3 pills a day? I'm just hoping someone will tell me it won't be as bad, because the dose isn't that high (wishfull thinking). Somewhere I read a post from someone saying a certain brand of Fish Oil didn't hurt their stomach? Lol, I've read about half the posts, and have no idea where I read that. I know the GNC Fish Oil I've taken in the past has always tore my gut up after only a few days. BTW, I looked up Tram's in the enclopedia last night. Say's acute symptoms can last 7 days. I have 7 day's away from home and the majority of my responsibilities, then I'll be expected to hit the ground running. Is this a reasonable expectation, or should I try to set myself up with lighter days when I first get back (if that's even do-able...)?
Thank you so much fullmetal, it means so much that a total stranger would take time from their day to personally help me. Just so you know, I always do the same. I never drive by someone broke down, I never leave the scene when someone's in trouble.
hello every one.... hope you are all doing well....nice one to see frustrated....trying to come off the evil trams....you can do it ......can i just ask you frustrated....what made you want to stop takeing them...??? ....your in the right place here ...
Frustrated- metagenics enteric coated is a pharmaceutical grade omega supplement that has been very well tolerated by everyone I've suggested it to except one person. Your other option would be to get your omegas via flax seed. Do a search on this to learn more.
Glad you chose to tell your wife. Better for your relationship to have no BS between you. You very obviously care about how she feels. So nice. A great framework in which to recover from tram addiction.
You will reduce your overall w/d when you stop intake by decreasing your doses now. The circulating volume is less. The amount of drug from yesterday, day before yesterday ( and on back some days) that is present today along with the dose you took today will be less and less as you go down. When you 'jump off' the total amount you have on board will be less. Your receptors (opiate) are getting used to less and less of drug so the backlash is not as intense when you stop intake.
As far as hitting the ground running? Some guys do bounce back fairly quickly. Seems if they exercise daily even in the first 3-4 acute days they have tended to do better faster. Just a generalization I've come to tentatively embrace after reading every post on this thread. Best to leave yourself just a little room....might decrease some of your anxiety during the more acute days.
YOU are doing great. It does me as much good as it does you.
'we shall not flag nor falter....we shall go on to the end....we shall never surrender'. Churchill
All, have been away from this site for several days and it's good to "see" everyone.
@Frustrated, I agree with Fullmetal. You should start tapering right now, even if if only by 1/2 or even 1/4 pill every few days. It will lessen the withdrawals, at least a little bit.
I'm glad you told your wife. I had reservations about telling mine but although she was hurt and angry, overall she has been very supportive. Sounds like your wife will be a great source of strength.
@AnShiloh, I continue to be amazed at your strength and willpower. You are truly inspirational and that's not a word I throw around a lot.
@Fullmetal and Goatfarmer, I feel like we're "partners in crime" since we all started on this list at about the same time. Know that I pray often for you.
@Emily Post, thanks so much for this forum and for your continued presence.
51 days w/o trams for me. It's wonderful to feel good about myself--it's been a long time.
Thanks HumbledXtian for your post. When I hear from you wonderful people it really helps me. I am on day 19 and still struggling but have not or will not take any narcotics or tramadol. You have been clean for 51 days & feel good from what I understand & if that is what it takes I will be there, only 32 days to go. Please keep me in your prayers.
Tramrevil; I didn't know I was addicted, or that it was even possible. I stopped taking them, because I didn't hurt, was only a little achey after a few hours. Woke up half way thru the night sick, assumed I just had the Flu. Was so sore, thought a Tram would help. 2 Trams helped way to much...got me thinking. Decided after I "Felt Better" to cut way down or quit. Cutting down was miserable! Wasn't even sure it was real. I specifically told the Doc I didn't want anything narcotic or "fun" (I'm no angel btw, I drink, and of course have taken pills for fun, just never for more than a few days).
Cut to 3-4 a day immediately, down from I think 3-6? Not sure, Doc told me to take 8, and I never reached that except maybe on a day or two, so I really wasn't counting. At 3 a day, it rules my life. I wake up in pain and twitchy, my back hurts so bad I can't sleep thru it. I get a few good solid hours of work, than do whatever I can to bail home early, cause I know by 2-3pm I'm going to be sore and grumpy again. I did this for about a week, still having no idea what I should do, or if maybe something additional was wrong?? Then I started searching online. Holy crap!! So many horrible stories about a non-addictive pill!! This site was by far the most helpful, and least judgemental. I don't judge anyone who got up to 20 pills or more a day, when you stop; it hurts, when you take more; it doesn't. Pretty easy math! Thanks so much all for the tips. How in the heck can this be prescribed as a non addictive drug? The script the Doc wrote me is the same as for Heroin addicts, which is something I've never touched. We live in a small town, she actually told me to go to an out of town pharmacy. Lame! So, I'm armed with Fish oil, B12, and everything the Doc gave me. Suppose it's gonna be whatever it is. So blessed to have my supportive Wife.
If I were doing it all over again, I'd take the following to the cabin with me.
b12 sublinguals. Under the tongue absorption is 90% as effective as a b12 injection
Nyquil ... generic works fine too.
Honey ... believe it or not this was invaluable. I used to carry the sticks you put in tea in my purse and snack on one when I felt the "I am going to die or freakout" creepy tram w/d
Soup of choice ... I liked chicken noodle
Little crunchy salty snacks .. pretzels maybe
You can bring Immodium AD ... the generic helps. If your belly is killing you ... (we have opiate receptors in our guts) ... you may need this but people try to avoid taking it as it'll slow the detox
I hope there's a bathtub ... warm bath and Epsom salts really help
GABA supplements ... lots of controversy about GABA supplements but some here have said they stopped the brain zaps
Passionflower for anxiety
Skullcap for anxiety ... I ordered my suppliments from Swansons Vitamins online ... I like them.
Loved Bach's Rescue Remedy, the liquid dropper one.
There's a tea by celestial seasonings called Tension Tamer that I loved ... very helpful
Ginger tea (I love Lipton Ginger Twist) and ginger ale for nausea
pudding? Jello? Some soft foods
Some kind of beverage that is very easy to drink ... gatorade .. Water plain may hurt your tummy
Panthotenic Acid for Jaw pain and muscular relaxation
Melatonin for sleep but you might not sleep for ... awhile ... don't worry about not sleeping. People don't die from not sleeping. Just stay occupied. I couldn't read, but I could watch TV and obviously I could write ...
Ben Gay or Biofreeze
Pain patches like Salon Pas
Heat packs ... theraheat stick on pads work well ... they last 8-12 hours and you can shuffle them around as things ache
Electric heating pad ... I put this on my belly ... it helped with stomach pain
an electric throw is nice ... cause you'll be cold and then too hot
Soft clothes ... to change into cause you'll sweat thru your clothes
Tons of movies ... comedies ... not a good time for Schindler's List ... although make no mistake Tramadol will tell you to watch tragedies. It's an evil asshat of a drug and just basically wants you dead ... so do not listen to that Tramadol voice. You'll recognize its voice. "You need me just take one you can't live without me ... you should just give up this is too hard." Liar. It's a liar.
It's great your wife will come and help you ... it's going to suck and it will be nicer if she is there. It's like the worst flu you've ever had but it is time limited,. 3 days of really bad ... ten 4 days of less bad. Then no energy and lots of acting as if for ... awhile. It took me much longer than I wanted it to.
I would be happier if your Doc had also given you a few pills to help the withdrawal like one of the Benzos. But I understand why they don't want to. I had Klonopin still when I came off and I am glad I did. I'm with the Thomas Opiate w/d theory. They can help when you are super freakazoid. I also used a beta blocker ... for blood pressure ...propananol. It helped. Was good when my heart felt like it was going so fast i was going to explode. I feel like getting thru the first few days is probably what it feels like to be possessed by a demon. But sweatier and grosser maybe.
I hope this helps. Be comforted that you will be able to soothe yourself if you can prepare yourself a bit for the storm that is coming. Right now I am sure Tramadol is telling you that you don't need to quit ... that you're better while on it and that you have more energy cause it is a cunning lair. It is going to be ok, but really do as the Boyscouts say and Be Prepared.
Also. When it gets really hard ... Get mad and go to War. Really wen you think about it ... Tramadol hasn't played fair with you so ... kill it off ... murder it and stomp on its grave. That attitude helped me not ... die and the men on MedHelp who have been veterans really taught me that attitude and it helped!
Lots of love.
Thank you all for the kindness you show me and each other. It means so much to me that we all have this place.
PS. I know I have forgotten stuff so anyone else if you remember shout it out ... what helped in that first week ...
Emily: Thanks for your post & thank all of you who have talked with me & given me support. I am on day 20 clean from tramadol & hydracodone, which I took handfuls of for months & months. I have taken nothing with narcotics nor anything to help with my withdrawals except you wonderful people's advice, help, prayers & determination. I will make it but it is still rough. If anyone is just starting I will talk with you & give you support & try to help. Thanks to all again.
frustrated keep on postin.....best of british look to you mate.....anshiloh keep on going.....i havent had no contact with her for 4 days......she is angry i sent her loads of messages friday...after i had a few beers.....i think the anger inside me come out on the messages.......its doing me head in tonite its halloween and i take my daughter out trick or treating .....shes stopped me from seeing her.....her head as gone west on these pills....i feel sorry for her and and anger at her....im just keeping calm it wont belong for i see my daughter...she texts me before school..and at nite...:-)
Hi, I'm new here...on day three of no ultram post 4 month taper after 4 years of 400 mg a day. Started out on vicodin for a back injury, then onto norco, them ms contin with IR morphine for breakthru pain. Got sick of that quick and kicked it CT. It was bad, but I made it. My pain continued, so my Dr gave me ultram! Winner winner chicken dinner. I was still very much in PAWS and boy did it help with that. I felt great...energy and no pain and...NOT addictive!!! 4 years at the max dose and I knew it was a problem. Couldn't even imagine going a day without it. I decided to do a fast taper. It didn't work. So I rethought it, did a very slow, steady taper of 5 months, very gradually decreasing a week or so after my body was ok with the last decrease of dosing. It felt never ending sometimes, but I reminded myself slow and steady wins the race. And here I am three days after running out for good. I have some anxiety, sneezing and cold and hot flashes. Great lethargy and overall just don't feel great, but it isn't as bad, so far anyway, as I expected. I have xanax, which I take sparingly as it knocks me out at a low dose, mainly at night, but I did take one today and slept three hours. Hoping the seretonin symptoms don't come on later. I'm happy today, just very fatigued and a bit down. Does anyone have any suggestions for lethargy? I'm a mom to 2 busy kids and a nurse. I need to stay alert and focused as much as possible. Thanks in advance. ~ L
Thanks for the response. Not so happy today. I feel ok physically, but I've been on the verge of bursting into tears at work a couple times. The nature of my job doesn't help on that scene...I'm a hospice nurse. But this wasn't sadness over a patient, just full on body sadness...very melancholy. The fatigue is the worst part still, and add a half a xanax to the mix and I'm wiped out. Unfortunately, life doesn't stop. Can't wait for the weekend to try and regroup a bit. Also, o started taking 5-htp last night. Anybody have any experience with this supplement? Still hanging in. I know I've got this.~ L
-Getmeouttathis; Good luck! It sounds like you got it beat for sure! I've taken 5-htp for other times, it seems to help calm me down a little. I hear ya on the "life doesn't stop", lol.
-Emily; I think it's amazing you still come on here in person and help us all out. I'm so glad I found this site! Thank you so much for the advice & tips. I've begun stockpiling everyones recommendations, Nov 6th will be Cold Turkey Day. So wierd that you mentioned Tram's will make you want sad movies, I've been craving tear jerker's ever since I started seriously weening.
-I really tried to lighten my work load so I could keep my weening schedule. No luck so far, in fact yesterday was one of the more physical day's I've had all year. If anyone out there know's how hard rotohammering 1" holes thru 8" of concrete is...I did over 30 holes yesterday, took me most of the day. I feel so MISERABLE right now!! The hard work had me drenched in sweat, which obviously depleted my system of the Tram's much quicker. I had fun plans with my Wife, and I refused to cancel them. She knows, and is so awesome & caring, but she really doesn't understand. I'm OK with that, I hope she never has to fully understand what I'm going thru. We got home even later than expected, which put my last half a pill 2 hours late, and on a full stomach. I was up all night, achey, diarhea, gut clenched. (I also cut 1/4 pill out of the day, and it was only my 3rd day cutting a half pill at night). I did keep my ween schedule tho, and I plan on continuing to do so until C/T day. Lol, it's so wierd to plan to be miserable! I love going to my folks cabin at the beach, seems surreal that I'm purposely planning a miserable trip. My emotions are all over the place. I had to tell my Wife to not ask me to make any crucial business decisions for the next two weeks, I don't trust myself. I hate that something wrong that I did has the ability to affect other people that didn't do anything wrong! We have 9 employee's that depend on me to make their house payments/rent and literally put food on the table. I've been weening for about a month now, and my business is suffering. Looking back, I now realize I made several poor decisions over the Summer. Luckily, I haven't taken a true vacation in over 5 years, so I think I'm going to be guilt free taking the week off next week.
Frustrated, thanks for the kind comments! I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lick this devil. And I know I am in the minority when I say so fatr....only day 5 mind you....it hasn't been so awful as I thought it would be. It was much worse for me to withdraw from extended release morphine, but I know lots of opiate users say this is much worse. Still worried about some sort of delayed withdrawal symptoms since I just really haven't had any and because I was on it for so long. I honestly think my very very long, slow taper made all the difference. I would have withdraw symptoms after decreasing dosage, much more than I am having after jumping off at 25 mg. Feeling thankful, whatever the reason. Frustrated, you can do it. This is my third go round with pain meds. Granted this one was supposedly non addictive...but we all know better, don't we. Glad you have your wife being supportive. My husband, while happy about this, doesn't really understand. He is more like just get up and shake it off. The nightmare of withdrawal is not real to him. I will ne hanging around if you need to talk. Good luck, try not to focus on TH
I can't speak for myself on the tram situation, for some crazy but divine reason, I barely had them at all, ttramhater. But when I kicked morphine extended release previously, I laid on the couch for three weeks, no joke. And never really got to feeling great whatsoever until tramadol came into my life. I am moving into day six today, still scared of delayed withdrawal since I took it so long. Have your symptoms eased at all?
Dang it, that last day of work kicked my butt. I would have been extremely sore without w/d's from cutting way back. My mind keeps telling me it's 100% legit, of course I'm sore, I broke the all time company record for Rotoholes in one day, with the hammer handle resting on my Knee's while I worked. I can barely do stairs right now. Knee injuries are what initially got me on Tram's. They haven't bothered me enough to stress about for months now. Lol, at least some of it is legit, my shins/knees are all bruised up!
I can't wait to clear my head so I know for certain what pain is really real and what's all in my head. Got up at 6am on a Saturday morning from pain, which I'm sure is a mix of legit pain and weening w/d's. I did manage to clear my schedule for the weekend, and gave myself a light day Monday. Hoping to suffer a little more this weekend and get more of this out of my system before Cold Turkey day on Tuesday evening. My Wife has been amazing, I'm so glad I confided in her. She's been really helping reduce my work load. I was freaked about going cold turkey from 3 a day, I'll at least be down to 2 1/4 or 2 a day before Tuesday. 2 1/4 yesterday. Wasn't too bad, but I cheated and wasn't very physically active. That makes a huge difference in how long a dose last me! First time I went to the Gym and used the sauna when I first started weening the drive home to get to another pill was miserable! Sweated out my dose hours early. Not sure what I'm going to do today. Whatever I can to keep my mind distracted!
No, getmeouttathis.. my symptoms are still so bad I can barely function sometimes!! I have had a day or two when i have felt okay but for the most part I feel like I have the flu everyday!! I've been reading back through these journals and have been AMAZED... truly has saved my life!! I'm wondering why I'm still feeling so bad? Really makes me start thinking that maybe it's something something seriously wrong with me and I know that's probably the tram talking but come on...30 days and I'm still this achey and have the chills and just feel AWFUL!! Has anybody else ever felt like they were in acute withdrawal for this long? You are so lucky not to have these symptoms....IT *****!! Congrats on getting off this poison!!
Ttramhater, I am lucky not to have the flu symptom. I think it is because I tapered for 4 months. I felt that was necessary due to the length of time I was on them. I have felt ok, just zero energy. Today, however, was the darkest of days. I'm sad and hateful. Maybe you should go to the Dr? I hate these evil pills. Stay strong.
I know I was also down from the morphine Extended release w/d for a good six weeks, with no end in sight till my Dr told me to take the non addictive trams. Thanks doc. I'm done...how long were you on tram and how long have you been off? I just wish my sadness would go away! I would have some more energy if I wasn't so damn sad.
@getmeout, sounds silly but maybe watch/rent some comedies. Dont forget YouTube: great film excerpts on there. I've watched old slapstick like chaplin and three stooges, which lifted my spirits. Whatever works for you.
Thanks to you guys for responding. It's so hard to try and explain to others how bad I feel. I know I'm understood here!! So..I have been taking the "devil pills" for almost 3 years....4 x 50mgs. a day. I too was told they were soooo safe. I've had issues with opiate addiction before and work a 12 step program. I thought they were working okay for a while but I started feeling worse and if I missed a dose I would be in extreme pain!! I have been in so much FEAR of losing my recovery that I refuse to take any more so I think I've been in withdrawal for quite some time... even while taking them. I would tell my doctor I always felt like I had a really bad flu and she just couldn't tell me what was wrong. She NEVER even suggested it might be the tramadol. I didn't really taper just stopped taking them on October 4th and have been going through HELL ever since. Exact same flu like symptoms I had while on them just multiplied x 100. I'm thrilled to be off of the poison but I'm so tired of being in pain, my body aches constantly, I always have the chills. It's all I can do to just get up and walk my dog!! Although I force myself to get up and get out but it's like torture!! I guess if I could just see a light at the end of the tunnel. I love that saying, "If you're going through hell...keep going" but I'm hurting 24/7. Just moved from Texas to LA and haven't seen a doc out here yet. I was so hoping to be feeling better and can't help but feel like I'm dying from some mysterious disease although my blood work was normal. So frustrated!! So happy you guys are here and I'm really not alone!! Thanks for the prayers@ Humbled. It is encouraging to hear that it took months for you as well @ I'mDONENoMore...did you have flu like symptoms as well? @getmeouttathis...I can also relate to the sadness...what a miserable cocktail of chemicals!! Just want to feel normal again....whatever that means??
Frustrated- the pain in withdrawal is an exaggerated pain. You will notice after 7 or so days of the tram out of your system that the pain starts to calm down and by 2 you have your underlying 'real' pain level that you can then start learning to work with in the ways that make sense to you. Don't freak out over this pain you have now. It is way over the top more than what you 'really' have going on.
Emilys suggestion of the nyquil is a good one. I used it at night that first week or so for sleep. The dextromorphan in it 'sits' on some of the opiate receptors ( that are quite empty and NOT happy about it) and it aided greatly in sleep.
Tram hater- the 'effexor-like molecule in tramadol can cause that type of withdrawal, especially in sensitive people. You might want to glance at some of the effexor cold turkey posts and see for yourself. I haven't seen reports of it going too much longer, though. Also- make sure you don't have a fever...we don't want to miss anything. Never a problem going in and getting checked out for your peace of mind, either. I used effexor to help get off the tramadol and then had to wean the effexor. Not fun....no....not at all.
I have so much respect for you all. I know how difficult this is to do. Get pi$$Ed and don't EVER SURRENDER!
Thanks Fullmetalchemist...I'm definitely going to check out the posts on effexor, funny you should say that...I was prescribed that years ago and a pharmacist told me not to take it because it is so hard to get off of!! I always think I have fever but never do!! I will plan on seeing a doctor next week for sure-thanks!! One thing for sure....I have NO desire to take the tram-poison!! You are so right....you have to get angry.....really pissed off to beat this crap!! It's truly the toughest thing I've ever done...EVER!!!
I know I will be okay. I just want to get back to who I was 5 years ago, before this started. Just seems like a long road, if it is possible at all. Thanks fullmetal chemist. I have read about effexor a lot. That would be similar to me taking the tram to get over the morphine w/d. Nope, I finally figured out there is no pill to get me through this. Ttramhater, praying things get better starting today.
I was on tramadol for over 6 years building up to about 25 pills a day (50mg per pill). It was insane.
I was also on xanax .5mg three times a day for 12 years - course always took more of that too. So I decided to quit both on the same day cold turkey..... phew... hard to think back on that now. I learned later on that a benzo should never be stopped cold turkey, that it could be extremely dangerous. It was only sheer luck that I didn't experience a seizure or worse.
The tramadol withdrawal lasted months for me. But early on, I started taking supplements/vitamins and began eating better. A lot of fruit/veggies and stopped eating red meat. I began taking fish oil tablets, b12 sublingual tablets, a daily multi-vitamin and I took St. John's Wort for the first six months. I never experienced any "real" depression, I felt sad of course, but nothing I couldn't handle and I attribute that to the SJW. But it's not for everyone, and you should always check w/the pharmacist before starting it to be sure there aren't any interaction issues you need to consider if you're taking anything else.
But TIME was the most important factor to my feeling better. I know, no one likes to hear that, we all want to feel better immediately. But it just doesn't work that way. You have to move on blind faith for a while, trusting that eventuallly you will start feeling better. And I did. But it took a lot of time to get there, I won't lie to you.
Even at three months, I was still experiencing a lot of the withdrawal symptoms you go through at first... stomach issues, anxiety, but at that point, my normal sleep patterns had returned and that made a huge difference in how I felt overall. The lack of sleep is a nightmare, I remember. It was hard to stay positive when you're feeling so tired and sick. So I just decided at that point that if I had to be miserable for a short period of time, then so be it. At least I knew I was heading toward a better life, a sober life, one that I could be present for. I had numbed myself for so long, so I knew I was in for a hell of a ride when I quit, but I knew I had no choice.
And now, over two years later, I am SO grateful I quit. And finding this thread was such a huge help for me as well. I didn't know that much about tramadol nor what to expect after quitting. And even though the Dr.'s gave this stuff out like candy, touting it as non-addictive and a safer alternative to your standard opiates, I knew better. I knew it was making me feel high, just like any other opiate, and that I was addicted to it. I KNEW it wasn't the safe alternative so I thought "WOW" I can get as much of these as I want and the Dr.'s don't even KNOW what this drug does to people, and figured I would be on it for the rest of my life. What a joke. I was so sick back then, and didn't even see it. See, that's what tramadol does to you. It makes you think you CAN'T live without it, that you're okay, you can handle anything as long as you continue taking it. Awful.... exhausting actually when I think back on it today.
I was so paranoid on this drug, always assumed the worst in any given scenario, I shut down from the people in my life and was happy to isolate myself from everyone and everything. I couldn't hold a job for more than a year because I didn't see ANYTHING clearly back then. Tramadol puts its hooks in you and never wants to let go. You are convinced you can do anything on this drug, only when I look back, I got NOTHING done on this drug. Started projects but never finished them. Thought I was doing so great at work, but I couldn't remember ANYTHING. Seriously, I would do a ton of things on any given day in the office and the next day it was like "how did THAT get done? WHO was that?" I don't remember writing that..." - ????? So surreal to think about it now. Like it wasn't ME at all - just an empty shell version of me... awful... And the mindless shopping??? Seriously, the junk I bought on that stuff was ridiculous... and of course, I would end up buying the same thing over and over again because I had NO memory of having bought it before... and I have the multple and duplicate purses, shoes. clothes and makeup/toiletries to prove it! Just the worst...
BUT I am here to tell you it IS possible to go back to who you used to be (sort of). I mean, of course, you've changed. This experience changes you, how could it not? But there is no comparison to my life today v. my life back then. Today, I remember the day before, the WEEK before, I remember everything. The good stuff and yes, the bad stuff too. But I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. Life is MEANT to be felt, right? That's the core of our human existence, to FEEL things. And even on a tough day, it doesn't come close to a "great" day on tramadol. Not even close.
Hang in there everyone - I promise you you CAN do this. One step at a time, one day (hell, minute and even second sometimes!) but one thing at a time. Believe in yourself and you'll get there. I believe in you. All of you. :)
ok where to start, I was previously in Army and Had a Back injury while deployed in Iraq, once returned to United State I discover I had Dislocated my L4 and L5 disc while deployed. Long story short 10 months later with doing everything short of surgery. The Army decided to give me a medical discharge. I have been on tramadol for over 6 years and started out taking 50MG every 6 hours, and over the years the amount has increased to 200mg every 6 hours, I Finally came to the conclusion several months back that I was depend upon the tramadol just to function normally. I attempted to stop taking the tramadol cold turkey several months back and figure out I was dealing with a dependence that was going to be way harder to deal with than I could handle at that time. So started doing research online and started talking with the Pys at local VA and have been trying the last two months to get an appointment with my Dr at the local VA medical center, after failing to get an appointment. I decided I was going try coming off the tramadol again. I took my last Tramadol on the 25/oct/12, and I also get 30 5mg Oxycodone time released each month so my bright Idea was to step down my last 20 tramadol’s and take the oxycodone to hopefully off set the physical pains that goes with coming off tramadol, since I have no issue with taking the oxycodone or coming off it. Well from the 25/Oct/12 to the 31/oct/12 my plan was somewhat working until I ran out of the oxycodone on the 31/Oct/12 and the withdraw’ s took over. I could barely get out of bed and missed like 3 days’ work. The physical withdraws have went away for the most part now it seems Thank God. The Mental cravings, depression, and anxiety are messing with me hard but trying to push through it. I have appointment with my Dr on the 14/Nov/12 but don't know if am I can fight this dragon until then. I scanned through the form and seen a lot of people are dealing with the same thing I am currently dealing with or made it through them. My biggest concern is being able to deal with the mental cravings, depression, anxiety, and not being able to sleep until doctor appointment. Any suggestions on any over the counter medications or supplements that can help easy these systems would greatly be appreciated. I was lucky to survive 2000 OC epidemic, and said I would never take pain meds again. It took me several weeks many years ago to get of the Oxocotins but they didn’t mess with me nearly as much as the tramadol has. I was a walking Zombie last week Could not do anything , even focusing on reading a book or reading emails seemed almost impossible to even focus straight to understand what they were saying, because I was so miserable.
ImDONENoMore thanks for your post, everything you listed I just lived and have did a lot of the same things in the past. It is truly sad that we don't notice this until you hit rock bottom, and have no choose's left, stay on rock bottom and continue the downward spiral, or start digging a way out, and just hope someone comes by to give you a helping hand. I am so grateful to find this journal; it saddens me that so many others are going through what I am currently going through, but thankful that you that have made it through are there to lend your support Thank you.
Cainsaw- I used clonidine, a blood pressure medication used commonly form opiate withdrawal anxiety. It made a big difference. HUGE. Can you go to urgent care today and get some? The depression was he!!, too. I used an antidepressant for awhile to stop the devastating waves of depression in withdrawal. Others have used the suppliment 5HTP, and/or herbal - Saint Johns Wart for depression.
Like imdonenomore, says so beautifully, above, it does take time. I relapsed several times because the depression and anxiety were intolerable and I was afraid I wouldn't make it. I got the help of a wonderful doctor. He helped me with the antidepressant ( which I weaned 4 weeks ago) and he helped me with the clonidine.
I also take omega 3, 4 grams a day. I take N- acyetlcystiene, isonitol ( 2 grams or more a day) , choline, vitamin B complex, and vitamin D. I dont eat red meat and am watchful of my diet, making sure i get plenty of protein. I exercise regularly.
It could have been much, much worse. I became very isolative and paranoid both on tramadol and in withdrawal. I was impulsive, manic -on the tram. I used tram to try to 'tolerate the intolerable' so --many changes (big) are happening in my life right now. I am propelled from my 'shell' of tramadol addicted life....and the terrain is unfamiliar. I had an enormous lack of humility while on tram. Deeply distorted perceptions. That is one of the ways that tram lied to me. I worked my addicted way into a corner. A corner where only the tram was my deepest confidant. There it whispered to me endlessly how we could only survive together.
Thanks imdonenomore for your incredible story. It made my day to read your post. I am going to make it through this. I AM making it through. Time is my friend. Things are getting better. Last night was the first night I slept well in one month. That problem was from coming off the antidepressant I used to get off tram. I wasnt making it in my attempts off tram without an AD and it saved me from relapse.....but still very hard to wean from the AD. I have cried more since weaning this AD than I have in the last 12 years of my life. It does feel good to feel. I think my perceptions are calming down and becoming more balanced. I do have the help of a wonderful therapist and I am working on parts of myself that have needed attention and healing. it is hard work. I am as much a slave to these unaddressed issues as i was to tram. And they make me vulnerable to addictive behavior, too.
Fight on brave warriors!!
The Doc prescribed me Lexapro (anti-depressant), told me to start taking it today, 3 days before Cold Turkey. The prescription wasn't covered by my insurance, cost me $120 for 60 day supply. Woke up this morning, thought "Am I really going to take another "SAFE" drug without doing my homework?" After researching Lexapro, it seems to have bad withdrawals, unwanted side effects, etc. Of course it does. The last thing I want is another problem! So frustrated, was really looking forward to a little help dealing with the mental part of the withdrawal. I'm tough, the physical withdrawal sure doesn't sound fun, but I'm ready and want this out of my system so bad I can't imagine failure!
I took anti-depressant's 10+ years ago, the side effects were too much to take any of them for more than a few weeks. I had horrible Winter time depression every year. I finally pulled myself out of it without any pills, mainly telling myself it wasn't fair to my Wife & Daughter. When you're depressed, nearly suicidal at times, you don't care enough about yourself to worry about taking care of yourself or what pills your taking. But, I cared about my family enough to snap out of it, it's been over 10 years since I've taken any anti-depressants. The last few years have been long term depression free. I have a few day's I get really down, I'll drink too much at times, but no weeks upon weeks of mental misery! That scares me more than anything physical!!
I feel mentally good right now. I only took 1 1/2 pills yesterday, down from 3 a day the last two weeks. Weening seems to really be working, I couldn't imagine taking less than 2 pills in a day a month ago. I waited until it got really annoying, legs twitching, etc before I took half a pill. I was clammy & sweaty all day, but not much worse than that. I'm thinking I'm going to wait to take Lexapro, maybe I won't need it? Any thoughts? We're heading into our long, rainy, dark, cold Winter season, which I always struggle with anyway. Work is extra tough right now, money is a little tighter than it was last year, etc.
This time last year was my best mood heading into Winter in my Adult life! Was lifting weights 3-10 times a week, not taking ANY meds at all. The picture of me from 10 months ago compared to now is just crazy! I've dropped an easy 20 lbs of muscle. Once the Trams stopped making me feel better, they started telling me I was too tired, sore, grumpy, etc to hit the gym. I kept making excuses to my lifting partner. One of the best friends I've ever had, hung out together 5 days a week for years. I blew him off so much the last few months, he barely tries to get ahold of me anymore. Lol, I sure would like to take Lexapro or something! My friends, family & business all need me to be myself again asap. I've always been the dependable one. I'm only 33, but I'm like the Father Figure to half my family. I legally adopted my twin brother & sister in-law when they were 11 (I was 20). Both are out of my house and happily married now. It would affect so many people I care about if I really got out there depressed.
This whole addiction ticks me off so bad!! 2011 was one of the best year's of my life, my marriage was stronger than ever, my Wife & I had so much fun together. Hard to believe how much a pill can change things in less than a year! My heart goes out to you that have taken Tram's longer or at much higher does than me. Good luck to all!
I am happy to report I'm feeling much better today. Today is day 7. After two huge blow ups at my hubs in less than 12 hours, I decided I had to do something. I pulled myself together and went to get some 5htp. Woke up in a better place. I have even smiled about a couple things. Taking 50 mg three times a day. Don't know if it was just getting through the first week or the 5htp, but thank God! Also, hubs and I had a talk about support, etc. He just doesn't really get it. He is also the only one who knows. I've gotten three loads of laundry done even! Reading this makes me so thankful I'm done. I occasionaly took an extra dose a day depending on what was going on, but never full out abused them. I can see how easy it would be to do so though. I think when I realized the max dose just wasn't doing it anymore is when I realized I must quit. I did however abuse hydrocodone, so its a miracle I didn't get to that point with these too. Love and peace to you all in whatever challenges and struggles you're facing today.
I wouldn't take an antidepressant to get thru tramadol withdrawal. Some need it and I feel that they do know who they are. That's ok if they need it. If suicidal ideation is involved then yes ... people need all the help they can get. I wouldn't add any fuel to the fire.
I get winter (SAD) depression and I use a lightbox and load up with Vitamin D as soon as the light changes. D3 to be specific.
I found Inositol in a powder form to be invaluable for anxiety and depression and exercise is really helpful. Though you will not want to workout ... being active is the "easiest" way off Tramadol in my opinion. The inositol works almost instantly for me. Two scoops ... (large dose appropriate for anxiety and depression) in water tastes like sugar, it's good stuff.
Rescue Remedy also works for me. I mean it works well. Panic attack gone ... Love it. I always carry it in my bag.
There's kinder alternatives ... more natural ... safer. But you have to figure out hat they are for you. Which is where the frustration of trial and error comes into play.
Call your lifting buddy soon too! You can do this!
Thanks everyone for your support. I thought when I was discharged from The Army That I was suffering from PTSD due to being in combat zone for two different deployments, and seeing and doing things I wouldn't wise on my worst enemy, but now looking back on it and reading everyone’s post about being isolated and the paranoia it seems to me it was more the tramadol than it was PTSD. The local VA here had me on AD for about a year after leaving the Service but it just brought me down, and the tramadol seem to be the only medication that I thought would allow me to function with minimal pain and function what I thought was normal, man was I wrong. I finally opened up and informed my wife last night was going on. If you have ever watched that 70 show I am Red, I don't do emotions well. I have always dealt with things on my own and since coming off the tramadol a week ago I am on an emotional roller coaster.
Well made it through the day ok, still have the tramadol whispering in my ear, and dealing with the anxiety and emotional roller coaster I am on. My biggest fear is giving in, last week on 3 day of withdraws I ordered my tramadol online, and due to Hurricane Sandy the medications where not shipped out so never got the package yet. I made the decision I was going to see this through, and not take it any more after a long talk with wife last night, so called company I order the tramadol from to cancel the order and they told me they couldn't cancel the order, so whenever the pharmacy fills the order next week they will ship it out. I guess I will see how much will power I really have next week when it arrives, and if I am strong enough to flush them down the toilet without taking any. I was hoping to avoid even having the tramadol available so I wouldn't have the opportunity to slip up. I did pick up some 5-HTP today was able to get out and go to CVS and pick it up as well as some B-12 to hopefully help with the fatigue. I use to lift weights years ago and used B-12 supplements to help with fatigue hope it help now. Any suggestions on amount of 5-HTP to take I got the 100mg capsules and just took one as recommended but really didn't see any difference.
I am debating going to local VA psychiatrist tomorrow and discuss possible AD medications to help the remaining withdraw symptoms. My issue with that is I am originally from the Deep South and Hunting and fishing is a strong part of my life, and I have been around firearms since I was old enough to shot them, and they are one of my prize positions only third to my Family, and home. So by my seeking medical help from a doctor here in Hawaii for medication addition it could keep me from owning a Firearm in this state due to their strict firearm laws, and yes I know a lot of you reading this, and going WOW you would put your position of owning firearms over your own health, and there may be a few that understand where I am coming from. I don't currently own any in this state because I am in Hawaii and there’s nothing here to hunt, other than wild boars and you can't really use firearms to hunt them, but I want to go back the south one day where I do own a large collection of firearms and would like to be able to legally own them still when I do move back. Or if I end up staying in Hawaii I will eventually have my collection shipped out here and would like to be able to do that legally. It's like on one hand if I step forward and say I am having issues and ask for medical help, I have to give up my second amendment right as a American citizen, and the thing I love that’s a part of who I am.
I am debating going to local VA pyschatriest tommorrow and discuss possiable AD medications to help the remaining withdraw symtoms. My issue with that is I am orginally from the Deep South and Hunting and fishing is a strong part of my life, and I have been around firearms since I was old enough to shot them, and they are one of my prize postions only third to my Family, and home. So by my seeking medical help from a doctor here in Hawaii for medication addition it could keep me from owning a Firearm in this state due to there strict firearm laws, and yes I know a lot of you reading this, and going WOW you would put your postion of owning firearms over your own health, and there may be a few that understand where i am coming from. I don't curently own any in this state because i am in hawaii and theres nothing here to hunt, other than wild boars and you can't really use firearms to hunt them, but i want to go back the south one day where i do own a large colection of firearms and would like to be able to legally own them still when I do move back. or if I end up staying in Hawaii I will eventually have my collection shipped out here and would like to be able to do that Leagelly. It's like on one hand if i step forward and say i am having issues and ask for medical help, I have to give up my second amedment right as a American citizan, and the thing i love thats a part of who i am.
I am taking 50 mg of 5htp 3/daily. It did seem to help me yesterday, but who knows today. Quite possible yesterday was just a good day? I have read about others who have had success with it though. Also, there is St Johns wort. I've never used it, but it also supposedly enhances mood. I have to caution about these drugs though....if using any other antidepressant, don't use these. About the tram coming in the mail, can your wife divert and dispose of them? About the psych Dr and the firearms...be honest with him about that. I don't think he would be prescribing any long term heavy duty psych meds for this. Hang in there!
Also...I'm not sure you need a psych Dr. Tramadol is a unique drug in that it functions as two..an opiate and a snri antidepressant. The flu and pain symptoms are the result of the opioid activity. It's your body saying give me more. After a week or two, these should- but not always in that time frame- cease. The snri withdrawal symptoms are the more troubling and longer lasting ones. Tramadol has your brain release seretonin and norephenrine, feel good chemicals responsible for mood among other things. Your brain kind of forgets how to do these things on its own after having a substance doing it for a length of time. Tramadol is a very complicated drug, and obviously not well understood. I think taking an antidepressant to get through this isn't going to help matters, it will just create an endless cycle. The 5htp is a precursor to seretonin, it enters the blood brain barrier and is converted to seretonin there. So taking 5htp MAY increase the amount of available seretonin, thereby allowing your brain to release more of it. Treat symptoms of this for now... Pain, anxiety, restless leg....and the rest will fall into place. It is not easy, fun or quick, but you will get there. Look for flashes of happiness, that's how you know things are getting better.
Just an update! Congrats on all you brave fighters out there. You can get through this.
I was in a icky depression so dr gave me Paxil. 3rd day on it and I already feel better a bit. I was crying 3 x a day etc.
I am so thankful that I started on something because I was ready to cave in.
I will admit I miss my tramadol but..... I am glad I stayed away from it this time.
Gotta run but I am thinking about all of you.
ITs been well over a month off for me! Never thought I would say that.
Only took one full pill all day yesterday. Half after dinner, half about 11:30 at night, couldn't sleep. Cold Turkey is Tuesday evening, looking forward to it at this point. Wish I could get out of work today & tomorrow, just go for it right now! Didn't hardly sleep last night, feeling super down. Gonna be a long Monday.
I saw Rescue Remedy at GNC, I'll pick some up this week. Can't believe how down I feel right now. I've been at work for over an hour, haven't accomplished anything.
Thank you all, good luck to all of you!
Frustrated, it will be ok. You can do it. If I did, anyone can. I've been hooked on pain medicine for 5 years now, and I've went thru w/d many times. This is the first for me on the ultram, other than back when I really got hooked on them. I w/d from ER morphine for six weeks. It was horrible. Then I realized I had tramadol that I had basically discarded because I loved hydrocodone so much, started taking them, felt better immediately. I ran out, felt like crap, went to the Dr who was more than thrilled to give me a safer, non addictive med. Thanks again doc! Four years....four hundred mgs a day. I really don't know what it feels like to be totally clean, its been five years since I have been. Took the last tramadol a week ago today. I'm not right yet, but feel a little better everyday. Hang in there, I'm thinking about you today and tomorrow. ~ L
-getmeouttathis; Thank you. A week ago today, that's awesome! Are you working? Today is all highs & lows for me.
I set myself up for a pretty easy day, but it's still work. Last 1/2 pill I took was around 11:30 last night. It's only the 2nd day in a row I haven't taken a full pill first thing in the morning. I was just dealing with work issues, which actually made me feel better. Now I feel like an adreneline dump from your first fight or something. Sick to my stomach, and just so tired. Would love to go cold turkey right now, but I have appts at 2pm tomorrow I have to look decent for. I'm excited about my weening program tho! I could never make it this late into the day without a pill even a month ago; even a week ago! Telling my Wife was the best choice I've made in awhile, because I didn't have to keep taking enough to completely hide my w/d symptoms. I hit the ween hard this weekend, got some suffering over with. Actually felt good, like I finally accomplished some real victory.
Exercise has been a huge help! Sweat it out, then hit the couch. This morning was f-d tho, lol. Was 17 minutes into a good treadmill run, when a yellowjacket fell out of the ceiling, and stung me on the temple. All my weights & equipment are in my Shop, my heater woke up all the bee's, they we're swarming everywhere.
I am working right now. I am lucky enough to be in a position that I can pick and choose my hours. I worked three days last week. Tuesday was bad. In a total fog. The other days I felt ok, but got very upset Thursday after work. I am a hospice nurse. Not a happy job to begin with generally. I did take today off and actually felt pretty good. Got caught up on my house work. I'm going back tomorrow, we will see how it goes. Also, my kids are involved with a very training intensive sport that requires a lot from me. Those obligations are not usually an opt out situation. But....I made it. I feel much better just saying I'm on the other side of a week at this point. Feels like I've accomplished something. I am not right by any means, but I know I'm going to be ok. I know I was lucky enough to avoid the painful w/d, but I would have taken that in place of the sadness and mood swings. I really think the 5htp is helping me, but maybe just a placebo effect, who knows? Sounds like you have the right idea...working out. I would like to, but all energy has been spent on everyone else, albeit inadequate at best. Too bad about the yellow jacket, probably feeling like you can't catch a break. Stay strong, keep your eye on the prize. Seriously...I've been on pills for over five years, with only 6 weeks of a break 4 years ago in August, which was a total nightmare. If I can do it, I know you can too! Wait till you're out a week and think of what it took you to say I'm a week clean. It feels great, even though it hurts. You just must keep you're desire, don't give into to your brain that so turns against your body and deal with whatever it throws your way. Stay strong, come talk to me when you need to and stay away from the yellow jackets! They are no good for you either! What day is your last day? Thought it was tomorrow, correct? I will be around if you need to talk. ~L
Cainsaw- it is tough having pills on the way when in withdraw. I hate to admit how many tramadol I've dumped. I was quitting regularly. I hated being a slave to this pill! But I was so went back on regularly, too. Here is what I noticed. If I didn't get rid of them immediately - then I was gearing for a relapse. Period. No rational reason to keep them 'around' even for an hour. I am glad you have accountability with your wife. I struggled mightily with the depression and anxiety, too. People on this post have used st johns wart and 5 htp with success. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. There are lovely wonderful people who have made it without AD's and others who don't. Some have gotten a suboxone wean- which wouldn't fall in the category of a 'psych med'--- I am currently using 12 grams of inositol a day for anxiety and depression with very good effect. It is tough getting through those first couple weeks. The point I want to make is that it has to be DOABLE for you. Whatever that means. I ended up using an AD and then weaning off it after 60 days clean from tram. I also used the clonidine for the anxiety with very good effect. I relapsed back to tram several times until I could get a DOABLE situation going for me.
Frustrated- nice work on the wean! Nice work on the exercise! In my last days I only a part of a pill when I needed to. Like 1/2 before an appointment, and then, like you, went as many hours as I possibly could manage. The last was 1/2 pill 24 hours after the last 1/2 pill. Then cold turkey. I didn't do as long a wean as you and took more tram daily. My biggest mistake was not exercising in withdrawal. I just didn't get it done and EVERYONE has said how much it helps. I am in a great routine now, tho...but I am glad you are doing it during wean and w/d. Keep posting!
Getmeout- great job getting to a week!!! Sounds like you are 'keeping up' with your life. Are you sleeping? Anything you can do just 'for you?' I know being a mom and a care giver puts you in a position where your needs aren't top priority often....so let me be the one to encourage you to try to find something very soothing and healing just for you. Withdrawal is miserable. Give yourself some kind attention. You made it a week!! Nice work...keep posting
Thanks Fullmetalalchemist for words of support. Well made it through the day pretty good I believe the 5 htp finally entered system, I fell much better today mentally, the tramadol has not been whispering to me as much today as it has for the past week. My back staring to hurt a lot this evening but been forcing myself to get up regularly and stretch. As for the Tramadol being on the way I made decision today after I caught myself checking on the shipment to delete the tracking info so I want be checking on it regularly. they will try to deliver it to my home usually around 3pm and no one's there until toward the end of the week when Wife is at home. Before I would just have then hold it at one of their shipping centers, and I would run down at lunch time and grab it. I told wife if she’s at home and it comes in flush them if there in the house and I know it I am afraid I will find them, so if I take the possibility of me getting them in my hands away while I am not craving them so bad Hopefully I can see this through.
I have did so much damage since getting on this crap 6 years ago, on the edge of losing everything because I have just blocked all the problems out, and just isolated myself from everyone and everything to keep from dealing with the issues. The part that makes me the maddest is I already been down this road years ago. Me and four of my high school befriends started partying trying crap we shouldn't have been trying and next thing We knew we were all addicted to Ocycotins back in 2001. After burying two of my best friends me and Greg one of my friends decide to join the Army and get away from the epidemic that was going on at the time where we lived. I went to Hawaii as far away from it as I could get, and he ended up going to Alaska. A year and a half later I was on a plane headed towards Iraq. Me and Greg keep in contact and were able to arrange so we could link up back home while I was on 2 week leave from a deployment in Iraq. I started trying to contact our third friend David that decided to stay behind when me and Greg joined the Army, but was never able to get a hold of him. Me and Greg linked up once I got home and decide we was going to go find David, we stopped by his dad's house no one home so went over to his moms house, she opened the door and started crying, I at first thought she was just glad to see us home and safe since we were always at her house and like a part of their family, then the tear just got bigger I knew something was wrong, I asked here where David was and she put her arms around us and told me he was gone. A little later she filled us in and said he had gotten worse since we left and tried several times to get clean, and the third relapse he took too much and never woke up. I swore then I would never take a pain pill again.
Two years later while on my second tour to Iraq I was doing a runway extension at the airstrip so the Marines could land the Cobra's and Huey Helicopters on Concrete Helicopter pads and was using a 250cfm Jackhammer and Bent over to lift it up and I got it about a foot of the ground and I had a sharp pain shoot down my lower back, I dropped the Jackhammer and hit the ground in pain. Long story short I dislocated my L4 and L5 disc in lower back. The Dr at the TMC wanted to give me Vicadone and I told him I didn't want any pain medication that was additive so he insured me the tramadol was perfectly safe and non-additive. The most ironic thing about being in a combat zone or the Army, was it was a Damm Jackhammer that took me out, Thank to God looking over me, I went through 2 different ambushes and lose friend, was blown completely out of the road by IED and walked away from that, and being shot at more times than I even want to remember and it was a jackhammer that took me out. I came back to Hawaii and had no issue with stopping every few months I would stop taking it, and never really bothered me didn't have WD symptoms from stopping. The whole time thought I was just suffering from PTSD due to always wanting to be isolated and alone but never crossed my mind it might be the tramadol. At the time it was like taking a Tylenol for a headache never really affected me. About a year and A half ago I took a different Job with another company and when I started working for them My physical work load increased dramatically, And I was doing physical labor I not physically able to do anymore, so 2 pills became 3, then 4, then 5, then 6 at a time just to keep up with the project.
About 8 months ago I finished that project and went back to previous company where my work load was way less, And that's when I started noticing I had a problem, I started to try taking less and started noticing the withdraw symptoms. I would start hurting and freaking out if I got below 20 pills in my bottle. I was able to wing my way back down to 4 at a time and had doctor to prescribe me a low dosage of 5mg oxycodone time release pain medication to help deal with the pain about 3 months ago, and finally made the decision last week to come clean and get off this crap. Sorry for long post and life history, I started post with simple post to update, and next thing I know I have written a book and telling complete strangers things I never told my wife of 12 years. WOW another ride on the emotional rollercoaster.
Full metal, hard to even find time for myself...life is crazy. Thanks for the encouragement, I'm feeling pretty good. Woke up tired this am with a headache. Sitting at my sons 2 a day practice. I am sleeping with the help of a low dose of xanax. I have 0.5 mg, but started breaking them in half. No worries about addiction there...they do the exact opposite of the effects I'm seeking. Lol.
Cain, its okay to get things out here. First off, anyone here understands better than anyone who hasn't been through this, no matter how wonderful and supportive they are. Second of all, we have all anesthesized ourselves from emotions for a long time. I believe part of this is working through those emotions we let build up. Frustrated, how's it going? Still thinking of you today! Love and peace to everyone!
-Cainsaw; thanks for sharing. Lol, it's always the non-exciting things that cause the injuries. Just re-injured my knee's rotohammering, similiar to what you were doing. I asked the Doc for non-narcotic's too when they originally gave me Tram's. I never got real deep into any pain meds, but I did enough to know I liked it too much to have a 6 month prescription. I'm tough enough to handle the physical pain, but it's wierding me out how crazy my emotions are. I'm not quite "Red" from the 70's show, but I'm not known for shown much emotion either. Lol, I've been tearing up on sad movies. The dramatic mood swings are super annoying, I just have no idea which me I'm going to be.
Later this afternoon will be my last 1/2 pill. My Wife has been super cool, but she of course really doesn't get how serious it is. I've told her a few times I don't trust myself to make crucial decisions for the next week or so. She's so used to me taking care of everything, she can't resist asking me. Simple problem she presented me with yesterday almost put me in a full panic attack. Lame, only took me 30 minutes to figure it out. (We run a construction company together, 9 employee's & 6 work vans). I haven't taken a true vacation in 5 years, I told her she's just gonna have to figure it out for at least the next few days. Affecting other people negatively hurts more than any self harm. Last thing I want is to make poor crucial business choices. Parenting too! getmeouttathis, dealing with your kids while w/d-ing is tough! My Son is 3, my Daughter 13. We're leaving the Daughter home for at least the first 3 days while I go to the cabin later today, she would wonder what was wrong with Dad. Too smart to believe it's just the flu. I'm hoping I feel good enough to bring her down this weekend.
Good luck to all. What a crazy drug?! Why in the heck would they ever prescribe something that had the same issues/charateristics of an anti-depressant for pain? That part of it is so much scarier than the opiate withdrawal!
BTW, haven't taken any of the anti-depressant Doc gave me (Lexapro). Gonna see just how bad it gets, getting on another drug sounds horrible, but so does getting severely depressed from a chemically caused imbalance
Hey guys these posts really help! Especially since you guys know what I am going through. I am on day 5 sober. And this is my 3rd time trying to kick it. I have high hope for this one. Have a refill ready at the pharmacy but I am not picking it up. It'll set me back these five crucial days! Luckily I didn't feel the creepy crawlies since Sunday because I am taking klonopin and I have the clonidine patch. Has anyone ever tried those 2 things to help with the withdrawals?? They have been awesome. I just want to know when I can quit the klonopin. Right now all I feel is tired (no body aches) I feel depressed. Which I am trying to think positive and it feels like I have a bad cold :(. How much longer until I feel ok not perfect at least not feel anything :/ oh and I was taking up to at least 20 pills a day and each pill was 50mg. When I told my dr about what I was feeling when I stopped taking them he looked at me like I was crazy and just told me to take seroquel hmm...
I am awesome..seroquel?? That seems like an odd suggestion to me. That is a powerful antipsycotic that would probably do little to help with w/d from this drug as far as I can tell. Weird. I can't say I would follow that advice personally. Glad to hear you're not feeling pain anyway. I didn't either, just very despondent, sad and awful mood swings. Today is my 8th day and I feel pretty good. I'm very pleased with my progress and hope it continues. I don't miss it or crave it nearly so much as I was afraid of. Good luck to you this time, I think I'd have to cancel that script at the pharmacy though. Why risk relapse? You've made it this far, you can do it!
Farmer, farmer, farmer.....hi sweet mama! Thanks for the update. Glad you are finding your way through this 5th week off tramadol. You are doing great. WHATEVER it takes to not go back to tramadol is wonderful, hon. I know how you have struggled. Much the same as me. I am so glad you are committed to staying away from this drug from he!!.
Thanks for your story Cainsaw. Lots of pain and loss. Many do not make it out of addiction he!!. we are very fortunate. Very brave. It is humbling for me to know this isn't the first time I've come close to losing everything within an addiction. Sometimes I wonder why I get another chance? I am grateful I do...
never ever EVER surrender!!
Fight on brave warriors! Much love TO ALL.
Hi getmeoutatthis! Well the reason inhabent been feeling much pain is because one you know I'm very spiritual, so they prayed for me which helped so much! Then i am taking clonidine and klonopin that's why so it's been a rad easier for me to go through the w/d. I didn't take the seroquel I'm just like ok umm but haven't done it instead went to the er. Today is day 6 sober!!
Well made it through another day pretty good. Getting to sleep at night and staying there is still almost impossible but picked up some Zzzquil this evening going to see if it helps any tonight. The B12 and 5HTC seems to be working pretty well this far been able to make it through day at work without wanting to pull my hair out.
Fullmetalalchemist you’re not alone, Sometime I just seat and wonder why the He!! God put me on this earth if he was just going fill my life full misery and pain, and I remember what a preacher once told me many years ago. God will never give you more than you can handle, and will always be there when you need him most. I have lived through things that I just have no explanation for and should be dead, but Instead I am seating here writing about it, so I have to believe he has some reason for me to be here. so Like everyone else on this earth I get up and continue the rat race we call life, hoping for a brighter day tomorrow.
I've had trouble sleeping last night too. It was my first night off xanax, and I could tell. Dragging thru today, but finally home from work. I'm pretty sure I will sleep well tonight. Stay strong everyone! Frustrated....how are you??
Well thankfully I made it through another day clean, the lack of sleep is catching up with me and back hurting like He!! But I am pushing through and hoping for full night sleep tonight. My wife attempted to sleep in Bed last night, but still tossing and turning too much for her to sleep in same bed. I have appointment with Dr Next week, and debating whether or not to inform her I am trying to get clean, I am defiantly going informing her to remove the refills from the Tramadol but debating about other pain medications due to back injury, I wondering if there anything safe to take for pain but skeptical to take anything prescription medication, since the tramadol was supposed to be safe when I started taking it.
I was on 5mg Oxycodone time release and never really had any issue when I stopped taking them, but was on tramadol regular for over 6 years at the same time so don't really want to risk dealing with the wd again, and don’t know if the wd was from them or the tramadol or both. I used them to attempt to do a fast tamper and stopped taking both Tramadol and Oxycodone on the 28/Oct/12. needless to say didn’t work like I was planning and went down like a sack of potato's for 4 days with the physical wd, and now still fighting the mental wd but feel pretty good with the exception of no sleep and back hurting like he!!. I am still trying to find out what's real pain and what's the medication, since I have been on tramadol since I injured my back so I really don't know what the pain is from if it's my back injury or if it's still my body wanting the medication. Man this Su$ks
I just got home from work as well and I was with people that made me laugh so that didn't make work seem
So crucial. But on day 6 of being sober I just feel sleepy and tired still some sadness still but i know that I will get over it! I'm starting to see it does get better!
Cainsaw for me it got extremely bad like I said going in and out of ERs because my doctor didn't help me one bit to quit. He just looked at me like I was crazy lol. What a bad dr but anywho. If worse comes to worse I know it's trading one for another but you have an idea of what you are getting yourself into at this point so what I am taking is .5mg of
Klonopin for sleep and a clonidine path for the day and it'll help. The only thing I really feel like I said was a really bad cold, tiredness and sadness. But good luck you can totally do it!!! I know it's easier said than done but when you look back you'll be like yep I did that and I am stronger and awesome for beating such disease.
Day 5 without tramadol! I can't believe I can say that!
Last tram was at 5am on Sat. Nov 3rd. I was admitted to detox hospital around 2pm. Got my first dose of Suboxone the next morning, 28 hours after my last tramadol. I had increased my tram for about a month before detox so I could stop feeling lousy every day at work.
I'm tapering from Sub and Klonopin for next 12 days only, then I'm done with it ALL aside from an AD for a short period. Feeling better every day, even as the meds decrease.
Can't wait to be totally free very soon! I anticipate it will be hard the first few days, but I don't believe it will be as hard as jumping from tramadol, personally. I'm exstatic not to be taking those little white pills anymore. And that I didn't give up. It's been a long road when I started tapering at the beginning of July. This site was such a blessing. It kept me going.
Thank you to everyone for supporting me through my taper and when I finally made the decision to go into detox, especially dear Fullmetal. It was the best decision for me. I'll let you all know how I do after I'm off of the Suboxone... very soon!
Much Love and strength to everyone. Never give up!
Great job Movebeyondthis keep it up you will get there. I took the hard road, and decided to do a fast taper then go cold turkey. The first five days I went toe to toe with the devil and he beat my A$$ all five days. Thanks to the support and suggestion of people on here decided to start taking the 5-htc and B12. And it made a world of difference with the fatigue and emotional rollercoaster. Now just trying to ride the calm for a few more days and going to step down of the 5-htc and see if I am real or not and see what completely clean feels like prior to Dr Appointment next week so I can figure out if I am able to handle on my own or not.
I had discussion with my boss today and just explained I am not firing on all cylinders right now and Dealing with some personal issues. Lucky for me he's a good guy and understanding and just told me to take care of myself first, the work can wait. I know he was wondering what the hell with me going from running around the office like a mad man to barely moving from desk last few days.
Movebeyondthis I am so happy for you! I am on day 7 and once those pains go away and the restless legs go away it'll make just get better from there. The klonopin def helped me sleep I couldn't have done it
Without and in my situation The Lord. Keep on keeping <3
Move beyond- SO EXCITED for you! Hope you are getting good rest and TLC. I've never seen anyone work so hard at their taper, hon. You did the best thing, getting some extra help. Any other people in trouble with trams at your place?
Mentally....just moving to the subuxone, then down is a HUGE release from the shackles and imprisonment of tramadol.
NO MORE WHITE PILLS FROM HE!!. Yeeeaaaah! Congrats on 5 days
Cainsaw- my withdrawal pain got much better about day 10 and then over the course of the next few days I got a 'feel' for the pain I was truly going to be working with. Are you getting any exercise outside of work? Yeah...I know about the slothful level of energy in that first couple weeks...glad you could tell your boss you have some stuff going on. 9 days is awesome!
Keep going....never ever surrender!
Fullmetalalchemist Thanks for heads up, I haven't really did much Still on edge about trying to exercise afraid it could make pain worse. I have been forcing myself to stretch regular every few hours to help from going stiff and really irritating back pain. I did get out yesterday evening and went to Wall-Mart and to mall and walked around awhile, and felt pretty good afterwards. I have to go out onto project site tomorrow at work and do schedule update for work completed for past two weeks I have been down. So going to be on feet for a few hours tomorrow so will see How I handle that and see if back is good or not. I have really felt like going for jog though for some odd reason, but Have not been on a jog or run in over 6 years so would probable do more damage than good. So I am going to take the recovery a little slower than my bight idea of doing a 4 day tamper and going cold turkey coming off tramadol. I would rather stand toe to toe with a grizzly bear than to go through those 5 days physical wd again. I am going to attempt to start going for a walk in the evenings after work this weekend or maybe a short bike ride and hopefully build on that until I can get myself back into shape and rebuild my strength and actually go for a jog hopefully.
Wishing everyone a restful and rewarding weekend! I haven't posted in awhile, last Tram was July 6. The first month was rough, but I'm back and feel great. The lack of evergy had me pretty freaked out, but it's back and better than ever. I took Tram for 4 years, without missing a day and spent a lot of money through the internet pharms. I wish I would have never gotten addicted, but it is what it is and I need to accept.
Cainsaw, it's crazy the amount of energy we get from tram which makes coming off so hard. Thats why I knew I had to take medical leave from work for several weeks. Good for you for talking with your boss.
Lamawesome, congrats on 7 days!!! That's such an amazing accomplishment. I'll keep you in my prayers that the pain and restless legs get better. Those two were the hardest for me.
Fullmetal, you are so right. Mentally, to not be taking those evil white pills makes me feel like my nightmare is coming to an end. I don't feel trapped & hopeless anymore. I knew I wouldn't give up but somtimes I felt like the tram wouldn't either. I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. I also don't feel so toxic. The dark circles under my eyes are going away.
Today was a step down from Sub and I didn't really notice. Maybe it takes a few days to feel it, but so far I just feel better every day. I feel like I'm coming back to myself with a more even mood. I accept I will feel more withdrawal from Sub when I get down to very little and then jump (Day 1 off of Sub is Nov 21), but I feel I will be able to endure it. I don't fear it as much as I feared the tram jump. I'll try not to focus on it, take it day by day, and be grateful I'm where I am right now because I sure am.
Ahh thank god this weeks over, Going to hopefully sleep in tomorrow, Since haven't been able to get to sleep until 1 or 2 am for the past week and getting up at 6 am, so really need 8 hour of sleep for a change, then get up watch the Crimson tide roll over Texas A&M and wise I was In T town. Today’s another day down and starting to feel better with each day. I am Going to back of the 5 HTP this weekend and see How I feel. I am currently taking 100mg 5 HTP and 1000mg of B12 three times a day going to attempt to back it down to two times a day and see how I Feel.
Movebeyondthis It is mind blowing how much different I feel off of the tramadol, I mean it's been so long since I have been happy and smiled, or actually had a conversation with my wife rather than just ignoring her all the time because she nagging me or annoying me, or being able to go to Wal-Mart and not want to run the old lady over with the cart for blocking the isle while running their mouth with friends. My backs still hurting a lot but lucky I am able to limit what I do physically to keep it at a tolerable level of pain so far without any Prescription medication. I am hoping I can manage pain level without ever taking Prescription meds again but only time will tell. I am hoping to make it to at least 30 days completely clean and make a decision then if pain level is tolerable, Or if I am going to have to try to find a medication that works for me and not control me like the tramadol did.
Hello all. It's so good to see there are more people getting off this nasty pill! Not that it's good to see people struggling, though. I know all of you can do it, whether you're tapering now or in the first difficult days of no pills. I haven't been on here for awhile since medhelp closed my account for spamming. I had posted the link to this journal twice for people who were struggling and asking for help. Since I posted the same link twice I was told I was spamming and they closed my acct. Grrr!!! I was just a little po'd. So don't post a link on here more than once.
My "normal" energy has come back. The first month I was tired pretty much all the time, but nothing that can't be handled. The pain that came back the first few weeks is under control with Advil/Tylenol. The trams are just fooling you during the first few weeks and trying to tell you the pain will never get better without them. It does lessen. I know there are lots that had/have more pain issues than I did. There are lots of options out there for pain management that don't include opiates. I remember reading lots of posts on here about different things people have done to manage pain after trams. Sleep does come back. The first few weeks are so frustrating, though! For the restless legs I used Hyland's Restful Legs. It's homeopathic. I found it at Walmart and it's pretty cheap, but worked wonders. And thanks to Full Metal's suggestion, I got a prescription for clonidene for the anxiety. If it wasn't for that, I know I wouldn't be over 2 months free from tram.
Speaking of Full Metal, how are you dear? I've missed this forum and I'm over my "Having my account closed" tantrum. It was no surprise to see you on here still helping others.
Goatfarmer, congratulations on the baby! You must be overjoyed. So happy for you! I started on Celexa right after going C/T. It must be working since I haven't really had any depression issues.
Movebeyond, I am so happy to see you did it!! I am so in awe of your ability and the discipline it took to taper. The rest of your detox should be a piece of cake after that. You sure have the right attitude!
And, Emily, thank you once again for keeping this journal here for us. ((hugs))
Stay strong everyone. !t's just one day at a time. Pretty soon those days add up and you realize you're over the worst. What a great feeling that is!
Well another day down, And thank god the tram has stopped whispering to me, and I am starting to see clearly the light at the end of the tunnel. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone on here helping me through this, you will never know how much your words of support has help me fight through this. I was on edge of giving in to the tramadol when I found this site and all your words of support helped me to stand back up to take another punch in the mouth, but finally it seems the tramadol has nothing left and can't swing at me anymore so it won the fight, But I am winning this battle finally.
My aunt posted this on face book so thought I would share it made me laugh.
One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so. The first man prayed to God, saying, “Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, “Please God, give me the strength .. and the tools to cross this river.” Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength and the tools .. and the intelligence … to cross this river.” And Poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.
Cainsaw, I can relate to a lot of what you said. I was becoming someone who wasn't me. Everything was irritating me and I was becoming combative with total strangers. Not who I am. I even exchanged words with my Dr at the detox center. Granted he had a bed-side manner that could use some work, but looking back now, I know he had my best interest at heart. I called my husband to tell him that I got into it with my Dr. and he said I get into with everyone these days. My husband actually called the Dr. as soon as we hung up and he told him, 'Thats really not my wife, that is the tramadol and withdrawal from it'. The Dr came back to me gentler and asked if I was experiencing withdrawal and from which med. He told me my husband just called. I started to cry because it was the sweetest thing for my husband to do and I felt my husband coming through this now gentler Dr. The Dr. had been so focused on the klonopin which they thought I was abusing, he underestimated the effects of the Tramadol and was under-prescribing the suboxone.
Anyway, I too find I can only tolerate a certain amount of movement before I create pain. There is definitely a balance I have to strike. Even walking for longer than 30 minutes starts to create inflammation in my spine from Lyme. Though I'm thinking I should get my spine checked out to make sure its not a herniated disc or something structural, which Lyme can cause. This week I'm going to start to do short amounts of gentle Pilates / yoga. I find that makes a huge difference for me. And warm baths too. Thank you for reminding me to take my B vitamins! All the patients at the detox center had to take them along with their other meds. It surprised me that the hospital recognized the importance.
It is sad the person I had become due to the tramadol, When I initially injured my back they gave me Vicodine for pain and I had to go back to TMC while in Iraq because it was affecting my judgment and I was a Staff sergeant and had 10 soldiers lives in my hands so told doctor I can't be on any medications that will affect my judgment ability. I made promises to several wives before deploying I would do everything in my power to keep their husbands safe so I wouldn't think twice to put myself in danger before I would them. I had two solders I served with during my first deployment and 8 fresh out of Basic and AIT that was gun ho for combat, I keep telling them this isn't a Call of Duty video game there is no start overs when the rounds start bouncing off the armored vehicles, its real and nothing you can do will prepare you for it when it happens.
I had gotten to the point by my second deployment I was numb to feelings, If I knew long enough in advance I was going out the wire I would call wife and family and to let them know I loved them. and when I would hang up the phone I would ask god to take care of them If I didn't make it back, then like turning off a light switch I would forgot about them and start preparing myself for the worse. I would pack cargo pockets full of extra bandages, check CLS bags and add extra IV bags to the packs and any other medical supplies I thought we might need if someone was to go down. I had gotten so use to closing myself off from the rest of the world due to the fact; I knew I couldn't do anything for them dead so for me to stay alive I had to forget about them. So when I did start taking the tramadol and left the Army I just thought me being numb and closing everyone and everything out was from me being in combat one to many times.
It didn’t help that I have always been that one that lived on the edge, I Was the first to hook up and do a swan dive out the back of a C130 screaming Airborne all the way. So the amount of adredline that start flowing through your veins when you in a fire fight for your life is just unbelievable the high your body will produce when you’re fighting for your life.
So leaving this lifestyle coming back to being a normal citizen was very hard for me. I loved the service and was planning on eighter retiring from the Army or dying in combat. So I went into deep depression when they told me I had to leave the army, and didn't have a clue as to what the hell I was going to do now.
I grew up in the south and use to work with my uncle building houses so by trade I was pretty good carpenter but with back injury I was no longer able to do physical work. Luckily before leaving the Army I was working in our armory and helping some Civilians that where refitting all our weapons, and one of them was a veteran and informed me about a VA program that helps veterans that are physically disable get new carriers. So I went to local VA and talked with them and they accepted me into the program, and started paying for all my tuition to go to college to get a degree so I could change my carrier. with there help I got a position with a local construction company as a project Engineer.
Now Instead of actually doing the work I had to learn how to step back and let others do the work and just take an oversight approach, and if there was any issues with drawings or the way they were building the building I would contact Architect and Engineers and became a problem solver. After a while and some hard lessons learned the hard way, I finally accepted the fact I wouldn't ever be in the field building anymore and started learning the Administrative side of the construction business, the next project I took a schedulers position and learned how to create and manage a construction project, then went back to a Engineers position, and was understaffed on a project and found myself out in the field doing work I am just not able to do anymore and that’s where the increased amounts of tramadol’s came into play.
I finished that project and went back to work with previous company where I maintain construction schedule and process our monthly billing to the government, and process all the subcontractors monthly payments as well as negotiating contract and a ton of other administrative things that require me to be focused.
So I couldn't have picked a worse possible time to attempt to come off the tramadol, but each day I get a little more focus back and was able to get caught back up last week at work for the most part. Now just have to get three weeks of College work caught back up before next weekend. I have never struggled so much with just trying to stay focuses long enough to read a chapter of a text book and actually remember what it was talking about. It is like reading the Bible for the first time with no faith, it makes no since, you read it but don't understand what it is talking about. I have this class and one more to graduate with my Bachelor’s degree In Construction management online, and man it's been the hardest just trying to get school work done to keep from failing another class.
Sorry for life story another damm emotional rollercoaster ride.
GETMEOUTATTHIS that is so awesome!! Day 14! How do you feel?? I'm on day 9 >_< I just want to be in the clear like I want to forget about how good the stupid tram made me feel so I won't crave it you know.
Any Idea how much longer the restless legs will continue I am on day 13 clean. There not as bad as they were the first two weeks, but still kicking pretty hard, not flopping like fish out of water anymore but still not sleeping that great. I picked up some Zzzquil but hasn't really help that much with sleep, well hasn't for last several days.
I didn't get the restless leg syndrome too bad, just a couple nights. Very thankful for that, I had is terrible with the morphine w/d, it's just awful. Although I feel pretty good physically, I still feel drained of energy. Some days are ok, others I just sit on the couch. Those are the days I find myself thinking how much I could get done with a few trams. No huge mental craving, just more of an emptiness. Cain, I forgot to tell you, thanks for all you do for our country!
Cain- tramadol is prescribed for restless leg syndrome....so it's absence can cause a nasty run with restlessness.
Here are a few remedies: hot, hot bath then long undies and woolen socks- with heating pad....drink tonic water before bed....and 1 tsp to tbsp of Frenchs mustard by mouth at the onset of the restlessness. ( has to be the yellow mustard...Dijon won't work)
Getmeout- much of my self worth came from 'the stuff I got done' while on tramadol. I also felt that emptiness because I didn't have my drug. The energy comes back ...mine very gradually. It wasn't linear, though. I'd have a day with pretty good energy, thinking, ok here we go and then the next day I'd feel bled, again. But the improvement was progressive and even a short walk around the grounds, helps. Congrats on 2 weeks!
Oh! Nannero! Hello dear! 67 days for you. I am so glad you posted and are doing well! I finished weaning the AD I used to wean the tramadol, now. It was another hard withdrawal :( but......now out of that woods, too. My outlook has been
improving. Getting very regular and fairly intense exercise. Getting good support from friends. Makes a great difference.
Free at last....free at last. It was absolutely HORRIBLE being a slave to the drug. Once 'hooked' --which for me was as profound from the emotional hook as the physical.....I was in a very deep, dark hole. Just one step away from the jaws of he!!. Isolated. Secret life.
Fight on brave warriors.....every hour away from your last tramadol is a glorious milestone in freedom.
Tramadol does not own my life, anymore. I took my life back. I was a war of sorts, reclaiming my life from tram. there were parts in that war that were fairly miserable...because war is he!!. It GETS BETTER and you will not only retrieve
Your d@mn life back....you will be tempered by the fire of this battle into someone who is MORE grateful, MORE compassionate, MORE clear about your strength and fortitude....AND more considerate of your self, kinder to yourself.
NEVER SURRENDER.....FIGHT ON. much much love to all
Thank full metal. My mental/emotional addiction has been much much more difficult than anything. I'm just plain tired. I did have a pretty good day today anyway. Totally mentally and physically exhausted now though.
hello every one
she is still a slave to the drug. i went out the weeken with her and my daughter had a good time .....dare i talk about the trams....to her..i dont no wot to do.how long can it go on for....i think the later the day goes the more fed up she gets...it is sad ...best of british luck to you all.....keep on fighting..you guys and laddies give me hope that one day she will see sense ......
Well I haven't been on in a long time, and just wanted to check in.. Today is 61 days and I can't believe I can say that... Doing great I'm almost back to my normal self.. Still have minor anxiety but definitely getting better. Some days it's there and then I'll be great for a couple days, but nothing like it was... It's so good to see that everyone is doing so good!! Keep up all the hard work it is so worth it. ---------Movebeyond I am so excited for you.. I couldn't wait to see your post that you finally made it.... You had such a long road of getting here and now it's here... I wish you all the luck in the world.. You deserve it as does everyone here!!! Keep fighting everyone ...
Tramrevil I know this not what you want to hear but as others have said before it’s something you can't force on her, she will just resent you and began to hate you for it. It took me nearly a year for me to finally face the facts that I had a problem and have lived a secret life hiding the amount I was talking from wife, spending money just to spend it on garbage.
I would come in from work go straight to my chair in my bedroom and that’s where I stayed away from everyone and everything. I would have my wife family over for Christmas or thanksgiving and I would go show face long enough to open presents then I would retreat back to my corner in the room.
I was ashamed to be seen in public due to what I have become. I gain 60lb from no longer being able to exercise due to back pain and when I did go out I was always sweeting and looked like a crack head. There may be one or two pictures of me in the last 6 years and they were taken without me noticing them.
Once upon I time I was one of the most respected NCO in my Brigade while I was in the Army. I went from doing projects for one star generals and eating lunch with Officers most enlisted wouldn't even thing about speaking too. I would be hand selected for any project that was high priority or time sensitive because of my work ethic, and track record of doing the impossible.
I have 2 two inch binders full of awards anything from AAM to bronze stars. I walked into my Promotion board and my command sergeant major asked me one question, that was who the sectary of defense was, and he said you may be excused. I did an about face and walked out with my Stripes as a Sergeant. I was already promoted to a NCO before I entered they just had me enter because it was Military tradition.
The point to this all is even at our greatest we can fall and need someone there to help us up, Lucky for me the people on here and there storied help me, but I wish I had friends around like you that still cared enough to be there now. The best thing you can do is be a friend and be there when she does come to the conclusion she has a problem.
If you try to force it she will more than likely just distance herself from you because she doesn't see it as a problem and feels you are the problem, because you keep making her uncomfortable by confronting her on it. I look back now and I did the same thing while on it, anything that made me uncomfortable I would ignore or distance myself from it to keep from dealing with the added stress.
I lost so many friend over the years due to me never wanting to go out and do anything or always find a reason not to be available when they came around. I have also lost friends in the past due to drug additions and hated myself for not doing more to try to help them, but unfortanly the true of the matter is you force them into a corner there not ready to be in and they hate you and you loss a friend. You turn your back on them, and get tired of dealing with their BS you lose a friend, or you try to be a friend when they need one and just keep an eye on them and be there when there ready to face the true.
I hope this helps it's difficult to see someone you care about suffer and even worse to have to stand aside and watch them go down this road.
Cain- you are currently writing a very powerful come back story. Like I said above, as you are tempered by the fire within this withdrawal and recovery from tram addiction you will become MORE of all those attributes that you have always had inside you. (I gained 65 lbs when I was pregnant with my son....so I understand a bit about that .I don't carry that weight, anymore.) We don't carry the weight of addiction, anymore, either. The things that your officers saw in you are YOU. you own that integrity and fortitude. ok....ok....you got hooked into the madness that is tramadol. The addiction defined you for a period, like it does all of us on here. Now you are 13 days free and clear. Your cells opiod receptors are calmed down and done clamoring for drug. Your adrenalin, cortisol, thyroid and other metabolic functions are settling into a different rhythm. Much health going on in those gazillion tiny spaces inside of you! You kicked some bad @ss these past 13 days, bro. I love reading your story....my son is in the service. I appreciate much of what you have to say as both a fellow tram warrior and as a mom. ( sheesh, huh?) keep going, hon....there is soooo much power in you and what you are doing in your life, now.
Tallbean- 61 days! Whoo hoo!
Tramrevil- glad you had some good time spent with her and your daughter. Are you taking care of yourself? What are you doing for your broken heart? Her addiction is not personal about you! It must feel like she has taken a lover, and in a way she has....but it is an addiction that holds her heart. It is NOT PERSONAL about you. Go to an al anon meeting if you feel you can. I think you would get a lot of support, there. You deserve to have as much support as possible. Keep posting!
Fullmetalalchemist Thanks for your support I hope so I am now starting to think clearly and seeing all the damage I have done and starting to think of ways to fix this mess I have made. I know I have to fix me first but got a lot of work ahead of me. I have appointment on the 14 with my Dr at VA but still haven't made my mind up if I want to inform her of me coming off the Medications. She seems to be a understanding Lady, and I know she's a Christian and a very spiritual person, But Still on edge about bring an addiction to the table with her, due to the VA looking very hard at veterans with PTSD symptoms and all the drug and Alcoholic addictions the Afgan and Iraq War has caused in veterans in the past 10 years.
It is a little different for me due to the VA. It's not like going to local family doctor and informing them you’re having issue, the VA reports everything and I afraid if I inform them they will list me as having a drug addiction problem. I don't and didn't take medication to get high; I stopped that BS after losing one to many friends many years ago. Don't drink or use any other drugs, so being labeled with a drug addiction I feel would hurt me more than help me.
on the other hand me informing her could make this battle a little easier if I do need help latter, just afraid me telling her she will want to put me some detox med or AD I don't think I need right now. I just need a full night’s sleep and time to see if I am able to deal with back pain without medication, and to get back to a normal person without being on any medications.
thank you for thinking of me fullmetal and cainsaw your words mean alot to me.....im copeing ...just about.....it hurts me that i cant say nothing or do nothing to rid her of the evil.....pills....ive been out of the house for 4 months.....she needs to get a grip and stop living in a tram world...stay strong all..........
Today is day 12 with no tram. I've withdrawal countless time from running out, but this time I stopped on purpose. I got sick of being dependent, taking too much and being dizzy. I had to stop doing yoga, and I love yoga. And I'm never gonna stop smoking with tramadol...so here I am. Day 12...still tired, aches and pains, nausea, intestinal problems, electrical jolts. I'm still in my pjs in the afternoon. Withdraws are so much worse at higher doses. Prescribed tram for fibro. Trying to figure out where I'm at with the fibro. Get rid of smoking next. Go no meds/supplements if I can for several months. You know, what do I REALLY need.
Lamom Wow That’s tough day 12 without any help, I am strong and can fight the physical pain but for me the mental craving and Depression was too much around day 7 and I Was about to pull my hair out trying to fight it, on the verge of going to ER or phys for medication. I decide to try the 5-HTC supplement and Some B12 along with Aleve and it brought me back from the edge of relapse. I was a freaking zombie for the first 8 or 9 days, and the 5-HTP helped calm me back down. I am afraid of what’s going to happen when I get to the point to come off the 5-htp but for me and now just going to ride the calm for another week or so and see how I feel. It’s possible to make it Cold turkey but a difficult road and as everyone has been telling me time the only thing that really helps until your body recovers, and heals itself. There Tons of helpful Suggestions on this forum from people that have fought the same fight and made it through so it is possible, and I have found talking even if it is with a complete stranger helps and starting a journal to let the emotions go somewhere helps a lot. Hang in there you be glad you did when this is over.
Tallbean, so nice to hear from you! Congrats on your now 62 days! How amazing!!! Thanks for remembering my long journey and for your congrats.
My big celebration will come after I'm off the Suboxone, though it IS great to be off of those terrible pills.
Can anyone with any experience with short term suboxone use for detox describe their experience with withdrawal from it?
I make my jump from sub in 7 days and I will have been on it for 17 days total.
Tomorrow is my last day of three days on 1/2 film 3 x day.
Then for three days I take 1/2 film 2 x day.
Then final three days I take 1/2 film 1 x day.
I will be off of tramadol for a day longer than I've been on suboxone.
My first week tapering I felt pretty good and still do. In fact I felt like I probably could have gone down to 1/2 film 2 x day today. Maybe I should do that tomorrow if I'm okay with it.
I started at 1/2 film 4 x day for the four days while I was in detox (after an initial full film after being 27 hours tram-free).
Dr. then sent me home with a 2 week script beginning with 2 days of 1 whole film 3 x day (because my fourth day in detox/the day I left was the hardest, so he decided to increase for first 2 days at home), then 3 days back down to 1/2 film 4 x day, followed by schedule above.
I realize everyone is different, but I'd so appreciate some success stories using suboxone short term to detox from tramadol. Thanks!
Congrats to everyone with many days clean and to those whose withdrawal symptoms are decreasing!
Strength to everyone going through acute withdrawal right now. Keep going!!
Hope to those thinking of stopping the nightmare that is tramadol addiction. You can do it!
Love to all.
Hello old friends! And new ones! I am back! I am also still taking up to ten trams a day. I was doing so well but when I returned for Kuwait, my husband and I had some issues and I ended up taking more. It's a long story and my other computer blew up so I had to reset my password. I hope everyone is doing ok. I will begin the tapering again.m hell I guess I just tell myself that at least I am not popping 30 or more a day like I was. I know that is no way to look at it so I will be starting the slow taper again.
I really hope you all are doing ok....tram is hell and steals your soul. I can't wait to start actually feeling again
Day 13 and I woke up feeling ok. I even took a brief jog. Ended up having to nap later from exhaustion but oh well. Appetite is now off the charts. Stuffing my face to deal with the cravings. Main treatment now is aromatherapy. Highly recommend myrtle oil for comfort/sleep/clearing sinuses. Works best diluted in jojoba oil. Rub on the upper back and chest before bed.
Last year, we took a xmas vacation; I was poppin tram constantly. Thought it was fun. When I looked at the pictures, I look so unhappy; I thought I was smiling and happy but whoa! My hubby even commented about how miserable I looked.
Thank you all for support and sharing your stories. The morning of Nov 6th was my last 1/4 pill. Today is the beginning of the 9th day clean. I only took clonedine twice when the anxiety got really bad. I took a muscle relaxer 3 times a day the first 3 days, I've taken one in the evenings 3 out of the last 5 days. Took too much Ibuprofen the first 3 days. Still taking 1-2 Ibuprofen at night.
First 3 days were really bad. 3-5 hot showers a day, lots of sweat. ACHEY!
Day 4 was actually the worst. I only slept maybe 6-8 hours the first 4 evenings.
In my opinion, exersice is a must. I forced myself to do something everyday. Last couple of days I did full hard cardio workouts. It's wierd, it actually brings the w/d's back after a really hard sweat, which tells me that crap is still in my system and I want it all out.
Work ***** right now, still sweating thru my shirts 4 times a day or more.
Restless Legs still keep my up for half the night
My stomach is still upset.
Life is good tho. My head feels clear. The worst is def over, so I'm encouraged. Never did take any of the anti-depressant the Doc gave me, trying to self medicate thru Gym time. Work is a mess from me being gone! Def struggling with depression more than a little, and the work load in front of me seems undoable. I know it's from the Trams, so I can deal with it.
Can't wait to be FULLY myself; sleep normal, not pack extra shirts for sweat, not have anxiety, not have roller coaster emotions. I mean this in a positive way; I'm excited that I know I'm almost there.
This is my first post. I'm in day three of kicking a 6 year tram habit. The last several years it's been 900mg/day. For what it's worth, here's my supplement regimen that has made this a less than unbearable experience. First, I've substituted kratom for the opioid aspect of tramadol. Since, for me, the ssri aspect has been the most difficult part of tramadol addiction to kick, I've given myself a bit of a break by giving the serotonin withdrawal syndrome most of my attention, worrying about the opiate aspect later.
When I saw posts identifying OTC supplements as easing withdrawal I told myself "Impossible!". I'm a believer now. I'm taking 6000mg of concentrated fish oil, 3 x day; 3000mg of buffered vitamin c, 3 x day; 30mg of B2, 3 x day; 400mg of magnesium, 3 x day; 1500mg of malic acid, 3 x day, and 50mg of 5-HTP, 3 x day. I'm not advocating these supplements and dosages, just sharing with you what has worked for me in easing the brain zaps and disassociation that has always represented the worst parts of tram withdrawal.
As I mentioned above, I'm taking kratom to ward off the opiate withdrawal. The active alkaloids in kratom leaves are quite different from those in most opiates, but they still bind to the mu opioid receptors in the brain. I take 6 grams of powdered leaves, as tea, twice a day. I'm fully aware that there is a risk of trading one addiction for another, but the anecdotal accounts I've read online leave me reasonably confident that, once the ssri withdrawal symptoms are manageable, tapering from the kratom will be a far, far less terrifying proposition than kicking from straight tramadol.
If any folks out there have any additional advice about how to go about this, I'd be grateful.
In leaving, I'd like to just say this: I was a heroin addict for years, finally got myself free, then started taking the tramadol after an injury because i didnt want to risk getting hooked on opiates again. Kicking heroin was a piece of cake compared to this stuff. That's what makes all of you on here so amazing. Junkies never accidentally become junkies, you have to work at it. Most of the folks who end up strung out on tramadol are just trying to live their lives the right way, go to work, raise their kids. Nobody asked their doctors to turn them into pill-popping zombies. That's what makes everyone here on this forum so amazing. You don't want much, just your lives back, and you're not above reaching out to strangers for help. Most people will never know or comprehend what you're going through fighting this evil f***ing drug, but I know, and I know every single one of you are heroes, and every single one of you will win. I know it.
Frustrated! Glad to hear you're alive n kicking. It gets better, promise! I'm on day 16 and have felt pretty great the last couple of days. Dazzard, thanks for the kind words! It sounds like you have been through a lot. I agree on the seretonin symptoms, they are the worst. I have been through opiate w/d several times since my injury, no fun but liveable. Sitting around brooding about my sense of self worth and the emptiness inside me has been the worst kind of withdrawal ever. I despise feeling physically ok, but not being able to get up off the couch and be productive. My mental status is so confused sometimes. 5 htp has helped greatly and I will take it forever if I have to. I can not return to the feeling of total hopelessness and blackness. Stay strong, everybody. Life does return, even if it is slow going.
Dazzard, sounds like an awesome plan. I'm not taking any supplements, so I can't really comment on those. I have in the past taken St.Johns Wort, and it helped. Could not remember the brand, tried another, and it didn't work. I'm not sure it'd be safe to add another supplement to what you are taking. But hey if you are desperate.
At some point you'll want to add exercise. I sure as heck wouldn't worry about it at day 3!
Take it easy on yourself. Remember we are doing this during the holidays and around the end of daylight savings time. It won't be easy.
Dazzard- welcome! There are some posts back a few years describing the karatom. I've read about it. Using another substance that 'hits' the receptors differently can be very helpful. Your body is actually stopping the 'recognition' of the tramadol receptor hits so that specific clamoring is not only stalled by using something else but actually withdrawn. Then if you take the karatom down within a reasonable timeframe you won't set up the 'withdrawal' from that. I am sure you know the drill. I haven't read anything about best ways to take the karatom down. There is so much info on the net.
YES- the fish oil in large doses quells the 'brain zaps'. I learned that accidentally but read more about it on 'the road back' web site. Thanks for sharing your story. I think recovered heroin addicts are heroes. Too. Glad you are with us on this journey out of madness. A non scheduled drug.....can you believe it!!??
Getmeout- 16 days is awesome!
Lamom- welcome! You are doing great getting off the tram. The cigs will come. Don't take on too much. The early weeks of tram w/d is such a nasty business. You probably need your pacifiers about now and for a bit, yet.
Icando - hello! Better 10 than 30!! No math wiz needed for that! Let us know your taper plan.
Frustrated- nice work.......sounds like your path looks pretty clear. Glad you are getting in the exercise.
love to all
Never ever EVER surrender!
Hello everyone hopefully everyone is hanging in there I am on Day 16 clean and feel pretty good. Still dealing with the RLS, sleepless nights, and back pain but hanging in there. I meet with My Dr yesterday, and I was standing in the waiting room and my cell started ringing and I pulled it out of the holder on my side and it was an unknown number from a city back home where my family is, and my dad’s in really bad health and doesn’t let anyone know what’s going on because he doesn’t want anyone to worry about him so I seen the number first thing that popped in my mind was something had happen to him or my grandmother and it was someone from the hospital calling me, so I answered the phone and it was a damm credit card company, I feel bad now but that poor lady got cursed like a dog I snapped on her when she said she was from this credit card company asking about a payment. About the time I hung up on her the nurse opened do for me to go in and she took my blood pressure and it was through the roof and I was just shaking, she didn’t have a clue what was going on and I had to tell her I just went into a panic attach because some lady just called me from back home and My first thought was something had happen to my dad and I just lost it for a few minutes.
I finally calmed down and was ok, and meet with Dr and explained my whole concerns about my firearms and my reasoning for taking this battle on alone and She was really great about it and told me not to worry about my right to own firearms. She is also a veteran and Ensured me she would not put it on record that I fought this addition, And I ensured her she wouldn't be getting any letters from the Police department asking if I had a history of addition or mental disorders or illness to keep me from owning a firearm for at least 90 days until I get through this and back to thinking clearly. I also informed her that was unless Obama try to bring the Brady bill back before 90 days then she might get a couple for some AR15's to add to collection but she didn't find it as funny as I did.
She just said she wouldn't take one of the freedoms I served to protect unless she felt I was a treat to myself or others. She also said her husband had just bought her a pistol and he was also from the south and he also loved his firearms as well. I then informed her of what I had did and where I was in the recovery and she basically said same thing I was planning on doing, I asked to remove all refills on all the medications I had on file and that I didn't want to take any medications for at least 30 days until I can let my body recover from the tramadol and I hopefully can get past the final withdraws, and take control of my life back, then if Back pain was still too much to deal with we would discuss medications if it is needed . We discussed alternate treatment for back pain and Several months back I went to a acupuncture specialist and it seemed to relive the back pain some but I was on tramadol then so don't really know if it helped or if it was the medications. So she put in for more visits to see if it would help and set up another appointment for next month for follow up and see how I am doing.
Well going to see if I can get sleep, keep up the fight everyone.
Day 15 (I think) went on a field trip (a cave tour). I'm so tired and grouchy. Had to take a nap when we got home. I'm still exhausted. I might be planted on the couch the rest of the evening. I can still feel electrical charges, but they are not as strong. I'm getting shadows in my side visions which my brain interprets as cats or ghosts. Didn't expect that!
Felt ok yesterday morning and went to yoga class. I went shopping later and could not read the mall map. I just stood there staring at it. Finally, found GNC after reading the map and going the wrong way. I did pick up some 5htp. Didn't realize it had sucralose until going home. Its a fast dissolve. Didn't take any yesterday. I was in so much pain, after taking advil, hot baths, tiger balm patches I broke down and took one of my husband's hydrocodone which he was prescribed for dental work a couple weeks ago. It didn't help with the pain just made me drugged out.
Well, today I can tell that it wasn't worth it. I feel like I'm back in the first week. My vision is blurry, I feel hopeless, my brain is foggy, simple tasks feel impossible, massive intestinal problems, don't want to move but my legs won't let me sit. Today was quit smoking day, but I don't know. I took the fast dissolve 5htp; see if I can get going.
Hi all! Tomorrow will be three weeks since I took my last tramadol. I realized today o really haven't even thought about it till just now when I decided to check in here. I would say that's a big improvement from just 5 days ago. Still taking the 5htp. lamom, hang in there. The 5htp took a couple days for me. I would definitely stay away from opiates at this point. They may just reset your brain to opiate mode. I wouldn't worry about quitting smoking just yet. Maybe just cut down till you feel strong enough to deal with that. Hope the rest of you are well, stay strong!
Lamon33 hang in there it does get better I tried the same thing I did fast taper off of tramadol and took last 2 on a Thursday and Got some 5mg Oxycodone thing I would take to help fight the physical withdraws and didn't work just made me sick and extended the withdraws another 4 days until I went cold turkey. I had good results with the 5-htp and B12 others have used Saint John wart. Unfortunately there’s not a fast resolution to the pain and misery for those first ten days. But it does seem to be getting better once you make it to that point.
The 5-htp seems to help me, The first day It didn't have any effect but the second day I began to calm down and started thinking a little clear, and was able to start focusing in on things, but was still easily distracted. Hang in there you can do this, I was taking up to 20 pills, sometime more a day 3 months back and just got pissed and got myself back down to 10 a day and did a fast tamper from there.
It is possible and you can do it as well just have to dig down deep and make that decision you want your life back and everyone on here was fought through it or is fighting through it and as Fullmetalalchemist has told me several time you have to find what’s doable for you, what's worked for me or others might work for you or it might not. I turn the self-disappointments, and all the things I have did while on this pill into anger and use it to help me fight on and strive to fix myself. I also grow up in a christen family and Gods always been a part of my life and Looked over me, even while I ignored him for the past six years while on the journey to nowhere.
To getmeouttathis: I learned my lesson. I'm back to first week withdraw symptoms. Not gonna touch the hydrocone again. I wouldn't have thought one pill could do that, but here I am.....congrats on 3 weeks and forever to come.
Cainsaw: I'm on day 18, way past (it feels like) the first ten days. That's why I'm a little freaked out. It's getting old....Previously would run out every month, have a few days of withdraw then time to refill mine (or someonelse's) prescription... but the last 6 mo I haven't run out (found a second person not taking full prescription) and without the withdrawal period, tolerance built way up and took 12-20 depending on the day. Started getting too dizzy to exercise, was having trouble swallowing, and smoking way too much...so I quit tramadol ( not cigarettes yet)...Thanks for the support...Gonna keep trying the 5htp
Lamom- sounds like you are wearing out easily. Tram w/d has a tendency to have a looong period of lethargy and energy zap. It is good that you could get the yoga in but you might have burned through the energy for the day that day. Every day can be a bit different with some good days thrown in there....eventually they all get better. It does take time. Are you smoking less now that you are off the tram? If so....that's good. Are you sleeping? The crappy sleep cycles in withdrawal ( first 3-4 weeks) can be draining. What other supplements are you taking?
Go easy.....and keep fighting free...18 days is wonderful !
Cain- keep going! 19 days! Yeah!
Everyone....have a great holiday this week. We all have much to be grateful for. I saw a fedex truck turn down my street earlier today....I was so relieved I didn't have to think about pills and deliveries. Counting the days, the pills, worrying about being found out...looking into the fedex guys eyes and thinking "he knows I am a drug addict" .....on and on.
With these short days it is heavy enough without all that. I have a great holiday planned with family. I don't have to fret about being on tramadol around them. What a relief!
All you brave warriors....be blessed, be well, be free!
Never, EVER surrender!
Well It seems I have made it through the worse so far, I had to hit the books hard this weekend and get three weeks of college work complete as well as 5 page report and midterm and final done, and was able to pull it off so at least my focus is back. Now just have to finish one more class and will be done and have my Bachelor’s degree. It's weird I hated going to school when I was in high school and dropped out, because I just wasn't interested in doing school work, and felt that I was ready to get out and make my own life, and did. My dad didn't speak to me for 6 months when i dropped out of High school because he didn't want me to make the same mistake he did, but Me being hard headed and looking for more out of life I did it anyway.
I went back and got GED to join army after about 6 years of working myself to death and not getting anywhere and decided I would join the Army and make a better life for myself or die trying. I then got injured and at 28 realized should have listened to dad because without an Education your chance of getting ahead in this rat race we call life are slim to none odds. So used VA to get back in school and I am almost finished with Bachelor’s degree, one more class and it’s over, and even though I know I need to do this I still hate school work.
Some people go through school and college with great grades. I am a hands on person I could read it in a book ten times and not figure it out but someone show me once and I can run with it so for me the degree will go to my dad it means more to him than it does me. Everything I have learned from all the classes, I have already learned them by being faced with the challenges in life. It's nothing more than a piece of paper that makes my resume look good and hopefully adds another $10,000 to my annual salary one day, seeing it cost $55,000 to achieve. Part of me wants to go on for my master degree in Business but 3/4 of me is sick of spending what free time I have reading a text book I am 32 years old and feel like I’m 70 years old as much hell As I have put my body trough and just want to slow down and enjoy life for a little while. I have been running at 90mph since I was 15 years old and just want a bass boat and a weekend of fishing on the lake, or a tree stand in the south with my bow and the cold breeze and smell of pine trees, and squirrel playing on limb beside me.
I live 20 min away from some of the most beautiful beaches in the world and can count on 1 hand the times I have actually been to the beach. I t cost so much to live here you work all the time just to afford living here so don't have time to enjoy it. I am done I have already wasted half my life trying to forget my past and create a new life and achieve something that out of reach. I am just going to live it for what it is and enjoy life from here on out, and if I achieve a VP position one day then so be it, if not well I have a great job make decent money and have a great family and were happy and comfortable.
I have been chasing a dreams so long I completely forgot I have already succeeded in life and have more than anyone in my family so why waste another 15 years chasing something I am not going to be happy with once I achieve it, because you just work so much to get there then once you get it, you have to work even harder to keep it, and yes you could become financially secure but then you have no time to enjoy it, and by then there’s not enough time left to spend it so why cut life short chasing something that’s , not really worth the hassle.
Sorry for long post, I’ve been thinking to much lately and need to get it off my chest.
Fullmetal: Just taking the 5htp. Just realized it's tryptophan. I know someone who has muscle pain caused from taking tryptophan. Not sure I'm gonna take anymore.
I wanted a complete supplement with a certain ratio of fats/pro/CHO. I used to take it back in the day when I competed in local races. (I used to be healthy!) It's not manufactured anymore. I guess it's not the cool thing anymore. All the powered supplement I could find now have artificial sweetners. I will poison my body with cigarettes and massive amts of tram, but OMG don't give me an artificial sweetners!
I had chest pains yesterday evening, nothing sharp just slight with tightness. I spent the evening on the couch. I was able to sleep last night, woke up about every hr but fell back to sleep. Feeling better today. Tummy still upset and tired but no chest pains.
Hopefully everyone is keeping up the fight Just checking in and wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving,I am going to attempt to dealt with Family tommorrow rather than staying in room all day hopefully they don't drive me crazy.
I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving or got the recuperation they needed. I opted to stay home this year and I'm glad I did otherwise I would have been physically uncomfortable trying to force a smile.
I'm on day 3 suboxone free and day 20 tramadol free.
I thought getting off suboxone would be smoother, though it doesn't come anywhere close to the first few days of coming off tramadol. So I'm grateful.
I have such a low tolerance for that feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin which is my biggest complaint now. I don't put up with this physical discomfort like I used to. I've been taking as little klonopin as I can, Aleve, and a non-addictive sleep medication at bedtime, so I'm sleeping throug the night.
I'm trying to stay positive but I'm a little disillusioned to feel that now that I'm off of suboxone / tramadol, the klonopin will be a journey in and of itself. I went into detox as a know-it-all saying that I want to be off both tram & klonopin asap. Both the detox Dr. And my Lyme Dr. had looks of concern that my goal was to get off klonopin so quickly, as you don't usually get off benzos "quickly".
Anyway, I will count my blessings - I'm off of tramadol and suboxone.
Hang in there Movebeyondthis you will make it through this. I never messed with Klonopin other than taking them a couple days as a teenager for pill buzz I have taken any of them in over 10 years but do remember some pretty mean hangovers from them, so not sure how difficult it will be to come off of them, maybe someone else that’s used them to come off the tramadol can chime in and give you some advice.
I finally got back to sleeping through the night and stomach finally settled down, I lost like 18 lb over the past 20 days, wasn't trying but need to lose it just wised it would have been in a more user friendly way. Dealt with family for a couple hours and had to retreat back to room, half the males started drinking after dinner and was just annoying the hell out of me so figure it be best for me to retreat than tell them to shut up.
It never seems to amaze me how if you’re half lite you can deal with other that are about drunk, but if you’re sober they just annoy the hell out of you.
Hang in there Movebeyondthis you will make it through this. I never messed with Klonopin other than taking them a couple days as a teenager for pill buzz I have taken any of them in over 10 years but do remember some pretty mean hangovers from them, so not sure how difficult it will be to come off of them, maybe someone else that’s used them to come off the tramadol can chime in and give you some advice.
I finally got back to sleeping through the night and stomach finally settled down, I lost like 18 lb over the past 20 days, wasn't trying but need to lose it just wised it would have been in a more user friendly way. Dealt with family for a couple hours and had to retreat back to room, half the males started drinking after dinner and was just annoying the hell out of me so figure it be best for me to retreat than tell them to shut up.
It never seems to amaze me how if you’re half lite you can deal with other that are about drunk, but if you’re sober they just annoy the hell out of you.
Hang in there Movebeyondthis you will make it through this. I never messed with Klonopin other than taking them a couple days as a teenager for pill buzz I have taken any of them in over 10 years but do remember some pretty mean hangovers from them, so not sure how difficult it will be to come off of them, maybe someone else that’s used them to come off the tramadol can chime in and give you some advice.
I finally got back to sleeping through the night and stomach finally settled down, I lost like 18 lb over the past 20 days, wasn't trying but need to lose it just wised it would have been in a more user friendly way. Dealt with family for a couple hours and had to retreat back to room, half the males started drinking after dinner and was just annoying the hell out of me so figure it be best for me to retreat than tell them to shut up.
It never seems to amaze me how if you’re half lite you can deal with other that are about drunk, but if you’re sober they just annoy the hell out of you.
Thanks cainsaw. I'm feeling better this morning (knock on wood). Glad you did what you needed to keep yourself peaceful. I don't drink anymore so I know what that's like.
I had been tapering all month from the klonopin and then when the suboxone was stopped the panic attack feeling roared its head. It may be as I come througth the transition from suboxone that the klonopin doesn't play such a major role. While on my lowest dose of suboxone, I was at .25 mg klonopin per day and suddenly I increased it greatly because of the nagging anxiety jumping off suboxone. I'll see how the next few days go.
I'm so grateful to be coming out of the woods now with the suboxone and I can't believe I'm no longer a slave to tramadol. So much to be thankful for!
A couple days ago I called a former boss of mine to tell her about a book I am reading that links lupus (she has) with aspartame (she uses). I hadn't talked to her in a while, and she asked me about my fibro. I told her I was in withdrawal from tramadol. The funny thing is(wrong word choice) she too had stopped her meds this year, decided they were making her worse, and suffer withdrawals. She was taking Effexor and Klonopin and knows all about "electrical shocks". She was very encouraging, said withdrawals are nasty, to give it another month and that I'll be so glad that I'm free of this nasty stuff. I'm so happy for her that she is feeling well.
Lamom33, I'm learning of more and more people who have been addicted to prescription meds. I think its rampant and nobody talks about it because of the shame and hopelessness and because its every day people who struggle - the neighbor next door, the co-worker, the homemaker or mother....
I say we're brave to be fighting our addictions and sharing with one another and possibly those in our circles. It's not easy to go through withdrawal and it's not easy to talk about it.
I'm on day 22 tramadol free (day 5 off suboxone). I still have this nagging anxiety that is driving me crazy. It's like a chronic, smaller version of a panic attack where I feel like I can't get enough air. I'm starting to think its from the tramadol withdrawal rather than the klonopin withdrawal because if I take extra klonopin it doesnt help it greatly.
I'm literally just waiting for time to pass this past week... A couch potato to the max. My body feels like it has no muscle and my lungs feel like they have no oxygen. My family is telling me to just try to start moving a little but I feel stuck in quicksand. I keep telling myself it will pass...
Hello everybody. Tomorrow is day 28 for me. I've had a bad weekend. I am currently sitting amid a ruin of Christmas decorations that I have no energy to fix. I was determined to get the decorating done this weekend, but it just didn't go as planned. Hope tomorrow is a better day. I found myself thinking about tramadol yesterday, I hadn't really had many moments like that. :( Here is to tomorrow.....stay strong everyone.
I think I'm on day 25. I can't believe I'm still sneezing and have daily intestinal problems. That's first week crap! Had to get out of bed 3 times last night because of my legs. I've had a yoga practice for many years for the last 2-3 its been daily. When I try to do one of the breathing exercises, it sends me into a panic. Every single one I've tried.
I also had a major panic attack this weekend. As far as intestinal issues,.my gut still seems pretty hyperactive ay times. It comes on with no warning. I am thinking its just how I was before my 5 year journey with opiates began. Today seems better. Just not in the holiday season whatsoever.
How long does the anxiety last? It's day 20 for me and I was only taking 1 50mg per day. That's all. I was only on them " on and off " for the past 10yrs. I only took them for pain. I kept the Rx in a cabin 3hrs away, I would bring enough home to get thru painful weeks, the max I took was 100mg in one day. And I still went thru all the withdrawals every time I quit, I don't know if NO PAIN was worth it. Panic attacks and GERD isssues are really getting to me
BTW. I've been reading and lurking for years, knowing this stuff was addictive but I tried to keep it in tune. My GERD and Anixiety has become a problem this last year. I'm M and 42 with 3 girls under 3 so life can be stressful
"How long does the anxiety last?" I don't know. I KNOW for sure that it's not me. It's 100% tramadol or lack of tramadol. Mine feels like a big ball of restless legs/anxiety/libido all wound up together.
I'm almost at one month and still having occasional panic attacks. It isn't constant panic, just a full blown shortness of breath with all out anxiety. I can't stand it. My husband thinks I'm nuts when I blame the tram. He thinks that is totally in the past now. Lol, if only.
I hear you all... when does the withdrawal end? Especially the anxiety?? I don't think other opiates take this long to come off of.
I called a suboxone Dr. to find out if I should continue the medication therapy I was on. I just can't take the anxiety anymore. I still have pain too.
I'm grateful I have support from my family but I feel so pathetic for getting myself into this mess. Granted a Dr prescribed it for legitimate pain, but I should have been smarter. I don't know. Chronic pain brings such desperation I guess I need to be easy on myself. It's hard though when I tried to taper from this stuff for 3 1/2 months, then went into detox, then finished my 2 week suboxone therapy, and I'm still miserable. Sorry to be such a downer. I know I'll get through it. We all will. We just have to hang on. Argh.
This is no normal opiate. You must take into account the snri effects of this drug. It's a double whammy- like w/ding from vicodin and and effexor at the same time. I have heard effexor w/d is horrible. Those are the lingering w/d symptoms, the anxiety, the restlessness. Our brains have to learn to be calm and happy again without the aid of this drug. They have forgotten how to use our seretonin without chemical assistance.
I listened to mellow music for an hour last night and drank 3oz of white wine. I only kicked around for about a half an hour in bed then slept like a rock. I'm so grateful for sleep. So far, I'm not even dragging. Hope everyone else is feeling a little better today.
The nervious stomach is driving me crazy. It makes me want to eat everything and the last thing I want is a couple extra lbs. before the holidays. Lol. it's kinda a all over tingling effect. Sleeping is not a problem, but I had a glass of wine the other night and the anxiety was worse the next morning.
Part of me feels like we should do whatever we can to help our suffering. I'm currently taking Kava Kava almost daily for anxiety and I don't think it's great for the liver. But I'm desperate. I don't drink alcohol so that's not an option for me and I would worry it would have a rebound anxiety effect like Heymirth experienced. Lamom33, I hope you continue to feel better - sounds like you really needed the sleep.
Getmeoutofthis, I hear you that this is certainly no normal opiate. I can't believe it passed clinical trials. But here we are. I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand that your anxiety and air hunger are still from withdrawal. We all understand! I hope it gets better for you.
I'm still struggling and got down on my knees to pray today. It's all I could think to do. Strength and love to everyone.
Heymirth- hope my post didn't read like a suggestion to dose with wine. Just stating my experience.-I'm currently gaining weight. Don't know how I'm achieving that with daily diarrhea, but I am. I'll worry about that later but understand your concern.
This is just my experience and in no way trying to bum anyone out, but today is 76 daysi off tram, and the anxiety is still here... Don't get me wrong it absolutely gets better as time goes by and some days it's not here but for some reason it's still lingering... Excercise really really helps along with still taking hot bathes.....
Tallbean, how long were you on Tram and how much per day. The WDs (flu like) were not as bad for me, as the GI issues and the anxiety is the worst. I now have to take daily Prevacid. For me, i had developed the habit, kinda like a person who has a cigarite with coffee. Mine was coming home from work and popping a Tram to get energy, and feel good for the afternoon. get me? Exercise has helped a lot and learning to get thru the day, I guess this has to be my new 'normal'
So it's been over 3 weeks now. Just so you all know it's way worth it; it's worth it! I'm actually surprised how much better I feel, especially how much sharper I am mentally. I've been craving daredevil stuff, I really lost myself and became a boring person on the Trams, I feel like my old self again.
The only thing REALLY bothering me is the sweating. I'm still completely clammy & nasty by 2-3pm everyday. This normal? Any idea how long this lasts for most people?
Day 21 for me also. I don't have issues with the sweats. It was amazing for me to realize at only 50-75mg per day for a max of 2months (this time) has effected me. It was never like this in the past, I could take it for 2 weeks straight, have no pain and go off it, cold turkey, with only those 2 flu days. Now, it brings all this other crap with it. I guess this is just the way Tram builds up in your system. Please. Anyone taking 300+my per day. Ween off it before it gets too late. Don't be me and take it for 10 yrs- on and off for pain. It's not worth the long term damage.
Frustrated by Trams, that's really quite normal to be a Sweaty Betty. It will pass. It's your body getting the junk out any way it can. Most of my withdrawal sweats stopped by 48 days ... or 45. And I was still on Klonopin then.
I agree MoveBeyond this about minimizing suffering. It's so important to be gentle and kind to yourself and put blame where blame belongs. All of us did the best we could. And Tram is a little asshaat creep of a drug. Being super pissed off about it ... rage against it really helped. I also laid very very low when I needed to an let my body rest even if I could not sleep.
Time passes and the body heals itself.
If anxiety becomes a pattern it's hard to break it but it can be done. Exercise, sunlight, good food, cheerful people, humor all help. There's gentle things to help. A huge amount of anxiety is caused by coming off this evil pill.
Emily, thank you for your encouragement. I really have so much anger and a sense of betrayal. I told myself I would try to exercise today. I know it's a great way to produce the endorphins that my brain is no longer producing. My anxiety is still out of control and I'm a sweaty mess too. I have no craving for water but trying to force it.
Lamom33, I will see a Dr. this Monday. Thanks for checking in. Not sure if he wants to try maintainance suboxone, or just another short term round at least to get me through the holidays. I know I need to be cautious about suboxone too. I just don't know where to turn. I was in no way saying that your choice to drink a little alcohol was bad. I understand trying to find anything to alleviate the suffering and it sounds like the little bit you drank gave you sleep you needed. We all have to find our own ways to get through.
I'm getting back on my Lyme antibiotics this week which will alleviate some of my symptoms that are Lyme related though I'll have to get through a period where I feel a little worse from the die-off reaction. Another reason I want to be more comfortable, even if temporarily.
Frustrating day. Got hit with massive cravings. My mind automatically goes to 'there's gotta be one around here somewhere". Then the negative thoughts. Then biting peoples' heads off. What a ride! I want off.
@ heymirth I was on them for 2 years.. About the last year I was taking anywhere from 8-12 a day...I was taking them for back pain and at first was only taking 2 50mg four times a day but then I too started to need them for that pick me up and boost of energy.... I stopped them once before and suffered the physical withdrawl ( flu like , rls,sweaty ) for about a week or two then this last time got hit real hard with physical withdrawl and the anxiety..... The anxiety was the worst part of it for me.... Like I said today is now 77 days and although I still have the anxiety it is getting way better... Hopefully it's gone for good soon.... But even with the anxiety as long as you hang in there it will get better.. It's just another horrible thing we have to deal with getting free from these horrible pills but it is so worth it
2 days of working out and a lot of my anxiety is going away. FYI. It really does work. Back pain is there but I don't want to go backwards so I will just suck it up and put on Bio Freeze after a hot shower. That helps too
Hello everyone hopefully everyone’s hanging in there I am now at day 31 and getting a lot better, I am still not able to shack the anxiety and panic attacks but think it mainly brought on by more stress than 2 people can handle. I have to deal with Sub contractors all day bugging the crap out of me wanting payment, and Get curse, and call everything under the sun because there not smart enough to figure out I am trying to help them and point out to them what’s wrong with their invoice, but some odd reason I scan there invoices into pdf and mark them up with what corrections need to be made and they change crap that I didn't markup then I am the dumb A$$ because they can't figure out everything in red letters or numbers needs to be changed after I tell them this.
I take the extra time instead of just sending it back to them and telling them it's wrong and they need to fix it, to scan it go into our accounting system or their previous invoice get amounts and strike out what’s wrong and add what it should be and It's still my fault they can't follow instructions. I have noticed my temper is coming back, and the Sgt starting to come back thought. I have had to get up and walk outside for some fresh air several times on some of these clowns, to keep from letting loose on them. I found that when the anxiety starts getting to me or a panic attack start coming on I grab IPhone and headphones and listen to some soothing music, it calms me back down and brings be back from the point of telling someone to go ---- themselves. My co-workers are all like what going on with him because they never seen me be loud and up front before, I was on tramadol for so long I just stayed to myself and was always quiet stayed hide in my room feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like a duck hatching from an egg and want to go swim across the lake just not strong enough yet. Surprisingly My lower back injury that I was taking the tramadol for in the first place really isn't bothering me or hurting it's my Upper to middle back that I have arthritis in that nagging the he!! Out of me. Taking aleive for pain but doesn't help much thinking of going to spa for massage to see if it helps. I have 2 1/2 weeks left of school and finally graduate with my bachelor’s degree, and then going to taper off the 5-htp and hopefully be back to 3/4 throttle at least, and ready to drop some weight and get back into shape.
I hoping the 5-htp isn't as bad to tamper of off as the tramadol was, anyone had a hard time coming of the 5-HTP I am currently taking 100mg 3 times a day along with 1000mg B-12 vitamin 3 times a day. I pray doing a slow tamper will avoid the depression and crazy mood swings I was having when I started taking the 5-HTP 3 weeks ago.
Sorry for long post I needed to get that off my chess, dump people just drive me nuts for some reason, I am from the south and have meet some really dump people in my lifetime, and I not a rocket scientist eighter but some people here in Hawaii just make the cast of duck dynasty look like DR with PHD's.
Keep going! It will get better. Every day I put between myself and the last tram is a milestone out of the madness.
Tramadol has deep claws. I've read many accounts of methamphetamine addicts- how it takes several months for their brain to re-calibrate. Getting the brain chemistry back to base line takes time. Everyone is different and tram is complicated. Keep up the great work staying off and riding the waves of this unpredictable withdrawal.
hello you guys and girls .....things are still the same with me......she said to me yet again shes stoped them yet again ...with out no wd s .yet her eyes are so glazzed and pinned....who is she trying to kid....cain you are doing so well im proud of ya mate..........keep on going everyone.....i love to hear people comeing off the evil............keep on going.......
It has been a year today since I have quit using the tramadol. I cannot tell you how lucky I am to have been able to be released from the grips of that hell, and as someone with an addictive personality, I can attest that if I can do it then you can, too. Please keep fighting, and never give in!
Is there any round about timeline when the physical withdrawals start to get easier and after that is there any time frame where the cravings and psychological withdrawals start to subside? I got up to 22 fifty milligrams per day. Is there any time table to reference? Obviously it wouldnt be exact but just something I could look at
faithful4support it's hard to say since the tramadol affects everyone differently. for me the physical withdrawals eased up around day 7 cold turkey then the depression and psychological withdraws set in at day 10 I was ready to pull my hair out because I was just nuts. I start taking the 5-htp and B-12 vitiams and they helped me come back from the edge of relapse with the support of people on here. I found getting pissed helps you keep fighting even though you’re so miserable your body and mind just wants feel normal and take more tramadol to achieve this.
There’s some people on here that has stopped cold turkey and some that has done slow tamper and some that has used subtoxe, I would not advise a cold turkey from that amount of tramadol, you going to do more harm than good, and would advise seeking medical help if that’s an option for you. It's a rough road and this is not one of those drugs that you just stop taking and everything is better. best thing I can tell you is make a plan in advance and you will have to find something that works for you, and allow time for you to recover, each day seems to get better and I feel more a live now that I off the tramadol, but looking back I would have chosen a different road if I had to do it over again.
Best of luck to you and there is a several people on here regular that can give you advise, and believe it or not support from complete strangers you don't know does help. Emily that started this forum has a ton of helpful suggestions through these forums as well as others that have fought this fight and won, so it can be done you just have to make the decision you’re ready to step in the ring to fight this fight.
Faithful- Cainsaw has covered the ground very well. As you can see, by reading the posts, as well as from my experience the depression and anxiety can last quite a few weeks. I had to get help from a doctor and used clonidine for the anxiety ( a blood pressure pill) used for opiate withdrawal symptoms. I know Cainsaw had good results from the 5 http for depression. I used an antidepressant. I read through most posts on this site. Many, many natural supplements and 'tricks' for various withdrawal symptoms. Everyone has a bit different experience. Everyone's biochemistry is amazingly unique which makes withdrawal experience to some degree individual. The brain zaps can be eradicated by large doses of fish oil. 2-3 grams twice a day....this really works. It's important to make a plan as best you can.
Let us know your thoughts on these suggestions. There are people on this site who have cold turkey from 30-50mgs a day. The first days are very rough if you do c/t. A couple week rapid wean is another option, or a slow wean. Read through and gets some ideas. We are here for you!
I'm over a month into cold turkey. I wasn't able to taper. If they are around, I'll take them. I believe that I'm in a fibro flare now that the physical withdrawal has subsided. Burning muscle pain and lots of joint pain, some numbness. I'm gonna start a folk remedy tomorrow that my MIL swears by for joint pain.
I don't really understand what the body goes through during withdrawal if it really is a detox. I've had a swollen lymph node on my neck for the last 5 years. Well, it's not swollen anymore. Maybe something else got flushed out with all the sweat and intestinal waste?
It's been almost a month and only get slight anxiety but my stomach isssues are still a problem. GERD? Did Tram create the GERD or what kind of GI issues have you had from Tram use? Very strange but I don't have the cravings I normally have for it. Maybe it's anger or maybe it's fear, I don't know.
I need help getting off this crap. I've been taking tramadol for about 5 years. It started out for dental pain and it took me like the wind. Recently I was up to 40-50 50mg a day. I started taking 50mg then I went to the 100mg pill. I buy them by the bottle. 100 pills 100mg for $23.00 so getting them is not a problem. They are sold over the counter where I am at. With prices like those you can see why I ended up where I did. I've been able to cut it down to about 14 100mg pills but I still feel like ****. I have kicked these 3 times cold turkey but my doses were no where near this and I no way am going to cold turkey on these doses. I started with 50mg 2 a day and then 4 a day and then 6 a day. It did not really get so out of hand until a year and a half ago. I've been taking 6-7 100mg pills at a time. Thats 12-14 50mg. I need help with a taper schedule. My wife is very supportive and actually holds onto them now for me so I don't eat them all at once. Before that I was taking 100 pills at 100mg in a week so 4 bottles of 100mg a month for about 3 months now. She gave me like 8 100mg this morning before she went to work and I took 4 right after I woke up. Can anyone suggest a taper schedule to help me get off this stuff? I've been walking around like a total zombie lately. I can't remember ****, I can't see very well anymore. My bones and joints ache so bad and this never had happened before so I'm thinking this is the tramadol doing this to me. I'm a 47 year old Male. Thanks for your advice.
@ Michael I am no doctor, but when I went to my doctor he told me to taper 1 pill a day until your at none.... It worked ok for me but I wasn't at quite the dose you are... You will still go through withdrawl pretty much any way you do it .... I did the taper for so long and when I started feel the withdrawals even taking them I cold turkeyed ... This is only my way of doing it and may or may not work but please be careful and good luck
Here is what worked for me. I cut down one pill at a time and would stay at that dosage for quite some time. I basically let my body readjust to the new lower dose then stayed there for a week or two before cutting another pill out. I had no hard fast taper schedule. It was long and drawn out, however, my w/d symptoms were pretty mild compared to a lot of people. You must be very disciplined to do this. Ask for help from your wife.
Don't get me wrong, I've had some bad dark days. However, I very much belive it would have been a lot worse if I hadn't done it this way. I must also add, I've used b12 and 5htp for anxiety and mood issues with good results.
This is an evil drug. I'm a little over 6 weeks off of it and doing better than I ever could have imagined.
Michael take getmeouttathis Advise take it slow, I did a fast taper from 12 to 16 pills a day down to none in a week then tried to use Ocodone to help with the Physical withdraws, and it was a bad Ideal and I suffered badly for it. I was able to take a week off from work to get through the first week of withdraws and by day three I had already ordered more. In my option, God didn't want me to have it and delayed the package due to Hurricane sandy. So I surveyed on for another 5 days, then the physical withdraws eased up and the mental withdraws kicked in. After another 3 days of me being completely nuts the people on here suggested the 5-htp and I grabbed some B-12 to help with the fatigue and it help me, and brought me back from the edge of relapse. If I had it to do over again I would rather fight a grizzly bear than go through that again it was bad. Take it slow and step down gradually until you hit cold turkey it might take longer to get clean but I believe the withdraws would be less crippling.
I choose a fast tamper due to who I am and what I have been through, I have used and abused my body some much over my lifetime that I can take a lot of pain before I will break, and have been through this before with pain medication, but wasn't expecting the mental withdraws that caught me off guard and was the worse for me. You have to make a plan that you can handle, only you know your limits. Come up with a plan and take action, don't do as I did and come at this medication Half A$$ed, it is powerful enough to bring anyone to their knees.
Best of luck to you and keep us posted on progress.
I am tapering from a 12-50mg a day dose... I am down to 2-50mg, one at 7 am and the other one at 3pm... What would the wd be like if I just stopped ct on this dose??? Should I maybe wait to lower another pill??? Thanks....
I think you should taper as much as you can Jeffii, if you have the patience and the pills and the time. Of course it is up to you and your Doc. No one here can really tell you how bad the withdrawal would be cause it's hard to predict. I guess it mainly depends how long it took to taper to 2 from 12.
Jeff. You need to drag out the taper longer to a half or even a quarter pill. When I did it, even ct from a quarter pill I still had three days of flu along with a month of anxiety and stomach issues. Sorry but it'll take time
I am SO glad to find this site. I am ten days off a 2500 mg day tramadol habit of several years. Crazy, crazy, hundreds of dollars a month, creepy internet pharmacy ppl, me always freaking about running out. I have never gotten this far. I even changed my debit card cause i pharmacies would just send me stuff I hadn't actually ordered. And of course I would celebrate when it came.
Anyway, I've GOT to stop, it doesn't even DO anything anymore. Nothing.
I have tried to quit in the past, or have run out, so am pretty familiar with all the WD symptoms. Depression and, um, bowel issues seem to be the worst. After the first few days the horrible twisting sweats at night eased up. But the depression, wow, I have had some dark moments.
So. Today I am feeling stretches of being almost myself, almost motivated. Getting the knack of hanging on, you know?
Does anyone have CRAZY salt cravings? I saw someone else mention the food....I don't know if craving is the word, but I am just WILD to eat....it must be my brain trying to find a drip of seratonin still there. Heh.
Anyway, I am doing this sort of, ah, secretly, so you all out there are the only people who know this about me. I SO appreciate that you are all here.
Wish2bfree, congratulations on getting off tramadol! You were on a very high dosage. Are you struggling with any anxiety? This has been my worst symptom.
I'm eating like mad too. I've gained 5 lbs in the last few weeks. I think mostly for me its my brain seeking immediate pleasure and my entire body seeking overall balance. I've had both salty and sweet cravings. A couple of weeks ago I ate an entire container of olive tapenade in two servings. Salt is related to the kidney meridian. Our kidneys have certainly taken a beating processing tramadol.
I think also our bodies need more nutrients while we detox, to manage our resulting depression/anxiety, and to replenish the lossed nutrients while being on medication. Before detoxing I was juicing green vegetables and a little fruit. I'm going to start doing this again to lessen my crazy cravings. I'm okay with gaining weight but my food choices haven't been very smart or helpful.
The aftermath of Tramadol feels never-ending! I'm not looking back though and I'm grateful to be where I am. This board has been a Godsend. Thank you Emily!!
Hello all just stopping in to say happy holidays and keep the faith and never give up and If your breathing you have hope.
January 2nd will be 2 years free of the drug from hell tramadol for me...
I wish everyone a tramadol free 2013
and ps a big thank you to EmilyPost for having this Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room, it was crucial support for me when I quit cold turkey and was losing my mind. I don't know how many lives youved saved but your work here is priceless, bless you and best wishes
lamom33: same here, wt gain, salt, feel very bloated..........keep reminding myself how much better THAT is than poisoning myself with drugs, because I feel very guilty about it, and am horrified of gaining lots of weight.
Am pretty excited about having more of my paycheck stick around....wild. It's been....let's see, maybe three weeks since I bought drugs with my debit card, so this past two-week paycheck is my first "tramadol-free " check in, oh, maybe six years. I try to be happy about that and not distressed about the "bowel issues" and intermittently dragging around. I do have plenty of good moments.
Say, are any of you out there musicians? I am, and wow, taking Tram REALLY killed the music spirit, you know? It was gradual, but VERY noticeable, and is one of the main reasons I hope to succeed at stopping this drug. It got so I couldn't really play...my memory was so bad, and my coordination so weirdly compromised, I stopped gigging because I didn't want to humiliate myself, and because I HAD humiliated myself a few times I got very stage-frighty..... and of course i got sadder and sadder about what a waste it was not to play, as I kind of believe I was put here to get the songs out there, you know? Anyway, had a tram- free gig last weekend, and even tho I was a little shaky and icky 8 days off drug, it was SOOOOOO much better!!!! I was amazed, just blown away....ALL the mojo and then some was back. It really fascinates me how this drug affects the brain. Wish I technically/scientifically knew more about it.
BTW everyone, I NEVER took it for pain....not really. I am someone who will take anything hoping for some sort of focus and clarity and sort of mild functional speediness: opiates used to work, tram used to work, but of course I abused them so terribly (I have an amazing tolerance for opiates....it's weird) that any effect they did have wore off just about totally.
So, another blessing, I don't have any pain issues other than the pain in the *** I am to keep doing this sh-t to myself!
So here I am again. I made 2 seperate posts in various parts of these journals throughout the last year, claiming that I was ready to quit and....well I didn't.
But 3's a charm and here I am. I am at 80 hours since the last time I took the poison tramadol, and it's been a very difficult first 3 days. The first night was completely sleepless. I took 2 xanax (my wife's, I never touched the stuff previously) and all it did was turn me into a zombie. The only thing that allowed me to survive the night was a hot bath that really numbed a lot of the aches and pains that I was having. The second day was only marginally better. I was able to not just lay in misery for small stretches, but then the sun went down and I only slept maybe 3 hours. And the ****** thing is that whenever I've woken up from naps, I have about a 1/2 second of that...ahh I'm awake feeling before BOOM yeah this is still going on took over. Today, day 3 I must say has been by far the best of the days. My dad flew in for support and pushed me to eat for the first time in 3 days, and really pushed me to get up and do something. For the first time I was able to actually sit and have a functional conversation and even watch a small amount of TV here and there. I have a 19 month old that I avoided like the plague the first 2 days because I was so upset that I was in so much pain and couldnt make her happy like normal. Today after a nap, I was able to walk my dogs for 45 minutes which was the best thing ever...i walked outside and saw all the XMas lights everyone in the neighborhood had up and it just looked like I was opening my eyes to a new world. I took 27 of those poisons a day for 4 years and finally had enough and quit cold turkey.
OK as much as I love positivity, there is negativity, or at least fear on the horizon. I have read quite a bit of these journals and I know that just because today was a lot better doesn't mean tomorrow isn't going to be worse than day 1. I feel the physical withdrawals lessening quite a bit but I know they could come back at a moments notice. Adding to my fear is that the anti-depressant withdrawals have been minor at best so far. I have had a few moments where I blubber up and cry for no reason (which actually makes me very happy....emotion!!! Yay!!!), but my experience from past attempted withdrawals is that i would slip into horrible depressive states that I couldnt function to save my life. I havent had any of that yet....in fact, I have barely had brain zaps....a few minor ones where I feel temporarily distorted but nothing worse.....has anyone had a similar experience to mine in the first few days only for it to get a lot worse later on? I know from reading this that 3 days is nowhere near enough time for this **** to leave my system. I have months to go, but all I know is that I feel so blessed and happy to make it even 3 days without this drug. I know that I have a shipment of trams sitting at my local fedex office and I walked right by there today on my walk and just laughed. I have no need for that stuff. It has no appeal to me anymore.
To anyone who is where I was at 3 days ago and thinks that there is no way you can push past the addiction, it can be done and I am proving it. I'm not saying it won't be hell on earth...it will. for awhile...more than I can even comprehend at this point. But it can be done and it will be done by me. If you have people that love you unconditionally, think of them whether they know about this addiction of yours or not. Not a soul on earth knew about what I was doing the last 4 years and I swear to god, they might be hurt or upset or scared for you, but they will be there for you to get you through this. I am lucky that the 3 people I told about this (my wife, father and best friend) have bent over backwards to help me through this and will keep helping me for the rest of my life. I have a lot of amends to make, and they know it and i know it...but at the end of the day they want you better and living life to the fullest. Life on tramadol is not life to the fullest, it is living in a fog watching the years go by with little to no emotion.
Anyways, I might be back tomorrow with a completely pessimistic rebuttal to this message, but regardless, my refrain will remain the same. NO MORE TRAMADOL. It feels so good to type that knowing that I mean it. I love you all!
Im a 50 yr old mother and wife addicted to trams. Been taking pain meds for about 15 yrs. From lortabs to trams and im losing my marriage of 22 yrs due to all the **** i brought on myself. My husband is an alcohlic. I was finally able to see all my destruction when he said its over. I did a lot of reminising back into my past and have seen what ive done. I so want to get off these pills and find me again and then my goal will be to try to fight for my husband . Im so lost and hopeless. All i do is cry!!! I have to do this all by myself. Luckly i have the support of my mother in law as she has been where im at. So far I have gone from 8 pills a day to 5 and have tapered off the other meds im on also. Im so scared of the future and this journey.
My addiction started with opiets and benzo's from seeing a pain management therapist for my spondylolisthesis and herniated disc it got so out of control that i went to rehab and I have been clean for 2yrs now. So about 6 months ago the Ibprofen 800 I was taking for the back pain just wasn't working so my primary care dr have me tramadol knowing about my past addiction history he assured me it was NOT addictive. LIAR so here I am now 6 months later taking up to 1200mg some days. Enough is enough I remember what hell I went through getting off the opiates and benzo's and I feel like I was tricked because I feel like I'm in the same boat. So I have taken more than I have a script for so of course I will run out before my next refill but I thought why not just quit now before I give more years of my life back to addiction. So I have about 100 50 mg tramadols left until I get a refill on jan 5th. I also have about 20 7.5mg lortabs that I never took from a root canal a few months back. I also have chlonodine , sleeping pills, Imodium, and vitamin B12. Which they used all of those at the detox facility I went to. So how can I safely taper myself off with what I have?!
Had a good day today, you all.
It's worth it, you can do it. We can do it.
Feeling better, 14 days off tram. Trying to go easy on the TV newswatching this eve, if you know what I mean. I know it won't do anyone any good if I get so horrified from watching news of the latest mass murder that I drink or use. The best thing I can do for my tiny corner of the world is NOT drink and NOT use drugs.
Demafrost: One day at a time, my friend. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Just get through this one. Know that the good moments will get longer.
Demafrost, I don't think any day would or could be worse than a first day cold turkey off tramadol and I am pulling for you. Kick it in the butt ... beat it down. It tried to kill you. Loved your story ... it will get better ...
Brokenhearted I am hoping you know as you taper that so much of the despair and pain is directly caused by the withdrawal and adjustment the brain makes as you come off the pills. You have done the right thing. I believe in Love. and I believe things will get better and you will heal. It will be ok. You are being watched over ...
I am so ... deeply saddened by today's events. And. I'm waiting for the news to tell me that the shooter was on medications that made him psychotic ... I feel sure of it. It's a big part of the evil in the world today ... and I feel grateful I woke up to that fact. So sad.
Grateful for all of you and this place where Hope Lives ...
Man, bless you, Emily Post, for all the ppl you are helping.
It is an incredible thing.
I have a Bday party for my two yr old grandson to go to today, in the past it would have been a thing where I would be using SOMETHING, tram was just the latest....and today, Spirit willing, I will be completely clean of opiates, tram, and alcohol. It won't be necessarily easy because...well, you know how those family things are, and this one involves exes, new spouses, all that, but I am praying, and planning to lie down on my pillow clean tonight.
Thank you Emilypost, I know i will need more support as the time goes by, It does help to post here and have people understand what im going thru. Ive done so much damage to myself and my family that sometimes is doesnt seem possible to do this. Ive only started tapering down for about a couple of weeks. Right now i take about 5 50mg a day along with muscle relaxers taking only 1 in am and 1 in pm. I was taking 1 in morning and 2 in pm. Im also on ambien and trazadone which i only take at night I have cut back on those as well. With these added medicenes is it going to be harder to quit than with just trams alone?
Day 6 going CT off of 500mg/day for over 1 year...
- Brain Zaps = Moderately uncomfortable. This is the worst lingering symptom but slowly improving. It is a host of symptoms including dizziness, tinnitus, and inability to concentrate. I have been taking fish oil with little resutls. Anyone use something else that was effective?
- Insomnia = mild. Slept relatively well with some aid from Tylenol PM
- RLS = very mild (thank god!)
- Lethargy - moderate but improving
- Anxiety = mild to moderate but improving. I am not worrying about how I feel every single second. It is now only about every 10 seconds.
- Depression = gone, at least from w/d, depression from SHES tragedy in tact. (Hey, I am starting to feel again!)
- Muscle aches and pains = mild to moderate. Original injury that led to trammy addiction bothersome but I am confident I can get that under control the right way as time goes on.
Thank you to all of my fellow Warriors! I would not be in this position without each of your voices. And I am in a position of inspired hope at what lies ahead.
I just called and cancelled a tramadol order that was on hold and I enjoyed every second of the stammering on the other end of the line trying to talk me out of it.
Welp, I am one hour short of celebrating one full week off the devil drug. My days have been up and down...mostly up through which has been a pleasant surprise. Today has been a bit down though. I can't really put my finger on what triggers it but all the sudden it will just hit me that I'm slightly down. Nothing serious though, just a bit of a down feeling.
After about 4-5 days of horrible physical symptoms, they have mostly subsided, but the mental stuff is starting to get to me a bit. Mild attacks of anxiety, mild depression at times, but the key is mild at this point. I guess its just weird because as the physical symptoms went down i had a day or two where i felt great...i have always known (mostly from these journals) that I was no where close to done with this, in fact I'm sure I'd still be categorized as in the very beginning stages, but now that the initial euphoria has worn off, I'm realizing that its time to settle in for the real war.
But worry not friends, my resolve is strong, there is no desire on my part to take this anymore. Whether its a month or 6 months or two years, this will pass, and I am looking forward to those moments. Thank you to everyone, especially Emily for these forums....they have been an invaluable resource for me, even in the 2-3 years that I read these posts before finally getting the resolve to quit. I can't even explain how amazing it is to read that I'm not the only one going through this. Its even amazing when I read some entries from a year ago and then see these people still posting here, and seeing their signatures that show exactly how long they have been clean (how do you get one of those BTW?). Forever I felt so alone in this addition, this disease, but seeing all the people who are at the same stage as me, maybe a couple days ahead or behind, gives me amazing strength to carry on. There will be tough days ahead but my resolve has never been stronger.
Also, just out of curiosity, for the people who have posted along with me over the last couple of days that are in the initial stages of withdrawal, am I the only one who "benefitted" by the Great Online Pharmacy Crackdown of 2012? I will admit that as close as I was to finally cutting myself loose, it was this crackdown that gave me the final push to do this. If I was still taking tramadol, I'd be cursing the DEA or whoever is doing this, but instead I thank them. Peace and love warriors!
Demafrost - Congrats! It looks like I am one day behind you and have been feeling very positive today but I know, as you say, it is "time to settle in for the real war". I can feel its breath on my neck and it thinks it is as determined as I am to win this battle. It's wrong.
I am not sure if I am here because of the crackdown. I was recently reading here how sites were only taking certain types of payments and that was creating issues but the two sites I used did not make any changes I noticed. However, these two sites are now "out of stock" and my order is "on hold" while they claim they are looking for a pharmacy to fill my order. So if that has something to do with why I am posting this right now....amen!
I learned that you can create the recovery banner by going into your account and creating an "addition tracker". It will prompt you for the information to create it and that should do it.
Demafrost - I think this is actually called the "Ticker". I see a "configure/embed ticker" link in my tracker and I appear to have all the boxes clicked. I don't see it in my last post so it appears I am not a good source of information here! I am sure someone can walk us through it.
I should also mention that my lethargy and anxiety has increased since my earlier post this morning but it is still moderate and highly ineffective in trying to convince me to ever take a Trammy again. A valiant effort though. I know you miss me Trammies, I know.
It doesn't miss you my friend, its angry because it wants to destroy you and you wont let it!
Thanks for the advice on the ticker, I am going to look for it after this post.
As far as the crackdown, as far as I know, a majority of the pharmacies/doctors that were supplying drugs like tramadol for OPs were busted and theres been a massive shortage of tramadol supplies over the last week to 10 days.
thestilly, I accept your offer of recovery buddy! It's great to know that theres someone out there struggling with the same issues this poison has given us. Stay strong today. I have a 2 year old daughter myself, and its awesome to be able to give her the real me for the first time.....brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Okay, clearly I need help with my ticker! It has never felt so good to feel so tired and run down!
Of course the order I cancelled yesterday, shows up today! FLUUUUUUUUUUSH. I literally just flushed 180 tramadol down the toilet. Now, I know there are more environmentally conscious ways of getting rid of your medication but I know my recovery buddy knows what I really flushed down the train was damage to my life. It was so easy to pull the plunger...easier than I ever thought it would be.
hello there thestilly....and demafrost....your doing great i love to hear people come off these pills....can i ask you what made you want to stop takeing them??? you see my mrs is still on them......but shes lies about everythink ......
Hey all. It's been 38 days or so and finally the GI issues seem to be going away. The cravings are still there in stressful times. No back pain. My question is- why is that when I have a few(2-3) glasses of wine, the next day my body goes thru withdrawls again. Not a hangover like but Very similar to Tram withdrawls. Like sweats the next day and high anxiety.
been lurking and reading for two weeks now. this site seems to have died down a bunch from where it was several years back so i may be talking to myself but i felt like it was time to tell my story and just write it out.
i had been on this devil drug for about 10 years and sadly used a friends script this whole time and the online companies for the past 8. i'm 37 and single and have a job, home and everything i need and the drug never got in the way of any of that even thought i must have spent 20k or more over that time frame on this crap. 5 years ago i was up to about 20 a day and one time took 28 or 29 and had a seizure at a friends house. it was scary because i was heading out the door and one of the family stopped me to talk about their computer right quick. about 3 or 4 minutes later i seized and could have easily been in my car. well circumstances happened that i had to tell my parents and that wasn't easy but i was thankful i was alive. so i started a long taper of several months and never really leveled out during it. just insomnia and fatigue. took a while and made it 2 days without the drug and couldn't handle it and i probably wasn't ready to stop either so i started back up.
the past 5 years i had cut back to about 11 to 12 a day. a few days on the weekend i would go to 13 but i never went a single dose higher than that. still, there had always been an underlying shame that the people i love thought i had quit and i never did. but i thought i could control it and in a sense i did in my own way. still, i was abusing. well two weeks ago i got caught in the online pharmacy crackdown and my suppliers script just out of my "reach" to continue my abuse. i went from those 11 or 12 on a thursday, to 4 on friday and 4 on sat and that was it. i had 3 left on sunday and found out my suppliers script wasn't coming on monday but tuesday. in full panic mode i decided to quit. had to come clean to my dad and stepmom once again and it was awful to have to do that. i needed to tell them because i knew what i was in for. so i went to their house and told them and they let me stay with them as long as i needed. Dec 9th.
well luckily the wd's, while bad, weren't as bad as they could have been. restless leg, no energy and no sleep. more on sleep in a bit. after 2 nights spent there i realized that i probably wouldn't face the other symptoms, thank God. Tuesday morning I was feeling great about myself and came back home. I work 3rd and missed Sun and Mon night but went back in Tues. While my legs were logs and having no energy i felt alive. my job is very demanding with physical labor and have to stay on my feet and move around the whole night, mostly non stop. it's rough.
my energy is real low but i did improve around day 5. my legs weren't logs but still very weak. rl went away day 3 but still get it in spurts but nothing major and it goes away. so this is day 12 and i am not sleeping hardly at all. im getting about 1.5 to 2 hours a day. last sunday i did get a straight 3 hours in one swoop which was nice but this is starting to worry me. what is rough is on the weekends and like last night, start of 6 days off, i get pretty depressed sitting up in the wee hours. it is very rough. during the day and when i'm working i don't feel depressed but kind of down at times. i feel hollow i guess. i think i just need sleep. i'm sitting here yawning but my body seems wide awake.
anyway, whoever is left we can talk our way thru this is you like.
Droop - It sounds like you are doing great and the worst is behind you. Keep it up! That hollow feeling is going away for me at this point and my meter seems to be swinging to the oversensitive side. Little things get me emotional and am a very even keel person. But I am great with that because it is so much better than feeling numb from trammies.
tramevil - what made me quite was the fact I could not get an online pharmacy to fill my order and every ounce of my being was sick of the what my trammy-filled life had become! Desire + opportunity made it happen.
Hey guys, just checking in. Day 14 for me. There have been some goods, but also a lot of bads. I am finally beginning to actually conceptualize the PAW war that is ahead of me. Physically, I am almost perfect. My stomach acts up on occasion, but everything else is good, even my physical fatigue is low. It creeps up sometimes but goes away just as quickly.
The mental issues are killing me though. I am very very irritable, especially anytime I am close to or during sleep. But even during the day, I am having a hard time not snapping at people. I also don't want to do anything. It's Christmas and I'm at my inlaws and there are a thousand things to do but instead I'm hiding upstairs resting. As much as my wife recognizes what I'm going through, I don't think she can comprehend why it's a pain in the *** to get up and do a chore.
Christmas is tough....there is so much to do, so many people to see, so many convos to have....its mentally draining. I just try to take it one day at a time.
Also the last thing is killing me is the fact that I am getting extremely drained at about 8:30 PM every night...to the point where I cant stay awake unless I really push myself and am moving around. It's frustrating. I went to an 8:20 PM movie last night and by 9:15 couldnt keep my eyes awake and slept through the weekend. I am hoping a nap can help me through the family parties I have the next 2 nights...ugh
I'm in it for the long haul, but starting to struggle with these mental symptoms at the moment. My head is in a fog, I can't concentrate on anything (reason why I havent posted an update for awhile), its an adjustment. Hopefully, I can get through these symptoms and start having some good days mixed in with the bad ones. Thanks for everyones support, and i lend my support to all those going through this with me. Happy holidays to everyone!
Now at Day 17. I have to say that these last couple of days have been pretty bad as I came down with a pretty nasty respritory sickness/fever on XMas eve (day 14) which got worse each of the next 2 days. I don't know how much of it has to do with the withdrawals but I know some of it was affecting me. Day 16 (yesterday) was probably the worst overall day I've had since Day 2...maybe day 3. In addition to the high fever, stuffy nose and horribly irritating cough, I woke up with a moderate depression and lack of motivation. Other than a brief minor spell about a week ago this is the only time I've felt depressed, and it sucked. And it came out of nowhere too...there was a day...I want to say day 12 where I can honestly say I felt next to 0 symptoms of withdrawal, and every since that day I've had increasingly worse days. I know its part of the battle, but it ***** when it occurs and makes it really hard to feel like you are making any progress at all. Yesterday was the only day in this battle where my thoughts repeatedly kept going to tramadol, and how I never got sick on Tramadol and wondering if taking that poison would make me temporarily feel better. DONT WORRY though, if there was a 1-100 scale that determined how close I was to taking tramadol again, days 1-15 I was firmly on 1, and yesterday, I was at maybe a 3. I don't want this ****, I Don't want to deal with this again, I am done with that part of my life. But the ****** thing about addition is that its never done with you. It will always be there tempting me, making me remember the (increasingly few) good times where it felt like all was right in the world on the drug. All I can do is let the negative symptoms **** me off and give me more resolve to fight through.
Today, Day 17, is much better. I am still quite sick overall, the fever is down thankfully but I'm still coughing and sneezing up a storm (and not tramadol w/d sneezes, legit ones where my nose is so irritated from mucus that it forces a reaction. But my mood has stabalized, and my motivation has returned quite a bit. I know there will be days like Day 16, but I know those days will become more and more infrequent as a days/weeks/months go on. To anyone having an out of nowhere horrible day, just know that its only temporary and better things are on the horizon!
If anyone could please HELP! My husband is addicted and he can't quit, he desperately wants to but we don't know how to properly taper. Please if ANYONE has any tips please add me and message me. I want to save our marriage but I am losing myself, my health, my own sanity and my life!!!!
Hello Everybody, this is my first post and like yourselves, I've made the decision to become free of Tramadol on Christmas Day.
I've always prided myself on being somebody that never experimented with any substances - to this day I've never been drunk (or even had a drink), nor have I ever taken any street drugs. But now, here I am battling Tramadol.
It started when I broke my shoulder in a biking accident a few years ago. I was given Oxycodone at the time and I was so fearful of how strong that drug was, I did not take it. My shoulder healed, with the aid of Tylenol and Advil instead of narcotics, but the trouble began when my doctor gave me Tramadol as a 'safe' alternative to the OTC meds I was taking. It worked well and at the risk of sounding ignorant, it took me some weeks to realize the general talkativeness and energy I was getting was a high. Nevertheless, I stuck to the 8 pills/day max. I read about seizures and became extremely scared of that possibility, which is what ultimately prevented me from going nuts on this stuff (however I did exceed the maximum recommended dosage later on from time to time).
So after several months on Tramadol, my last refill was finished and the time came to quit, right? I kind of liked the buzz I got from them, and I didn't want to ask for a refill because I thought my doctor would suspect that I was enjoying these a little too much. So I stopped, cold turkey. Yeah, you all know what the result was. So THIS is what withdrawal is!
It was horrendous and after several days of suffering, I gave in and naturally did the wrong thing and ordered these on the internet. So, my trek began - a number of attempts at quitting, and ultimately relapsing because work piled up, and I had ZERO energy, not to mention the incredible depression. That pattern continued for the next three years, where I am today. Enough is enough and on Christmas Day, I took my last six pills. For the last few years I was taking between six and twelve per day.
Tramadol is a strange thing... Although I thought I was doing fine, I realize I was not. I am a musician and right before my addiction, I built a recording studio here. Not a day went by without playing my guitar for a few hours; it was always in my hands, even while working at my computer. That was gone - I didn't even realize through years on Tramadol that I lost almost all of my desire to play. It got to the point where I would not touch a guitar for weeks. I attributed it to work stress, but deep down I knew better. I would not get very inspired to do anything creative outside my required work tasks. Not only work, but I lost much interest in venturing out and doing new things. Worse than even that, I became a slave to making sure I can always acquire more Tramadol. I thought about discussing this with my doctor, but the fear of being labeled an addict prevented this. I made my mind up that if I do fail on this attempt, I will tell him. I couldn't go on living as just a passer-by in my own life.
So, here I am, day two. So far, it's not very bad and I even slept today for seven hours. Maybe the worst is going to still hit me, but I know how bad it can be. On previous attempts, sleep was out of the question for days. I hope that somehow, that nightmare does not return (no pun intended).
Thanks for reading everybody. All of your posts were very inspiring and I hope I can help too.
I'm certainly not a lawyer but I believe there was some legal action involving Tramadol some years ago which resulted in its description being more clear about risks of dependance. I am also pragmatic about it - most of us here knew we were abusing it. I think putting most of the blame on Tramadol itself will minimize our own responsibility for our dependance or addiction and that's not healthy.
You said you're taking an 'extremely high dose' - could I ask about how much Tramadol you're taking? At dosages over 400mg/day you're running serious risks of seizures. I could only suggest that you should talk to your doctor about this. If they are prescribing Tramadol you need to discuss your concerns with them.
i agree with ur own personal responsibilty toward addiction but from what i have read here lots of us were told this was NOT an addiction nd by we relized it was we were already addicted i do not know about the others but someone should be held responsible for that there is no way the researchers did not know about its addictive properties
as far as what dose i am on my son has got me down to 13-20 per day i have already had a seizure the docs said it was from alcohol withdrawal which i have used yrs ago for
thank u for ur info do u know if it was dea that did the investigation
Hey all.....so, ok, after, maybe, 22 days Tramadol free, I got a script from my Dr, got 240 tabs and used them in a week.
It's weird, I wasn't even feeling that bad, kind of depressed but not awful, but.....the obsession is just....so powerful, I guess. And even taking THAT many pills...what is that, like, 35 a day? .....i didn't really feel high or great or anything.
Try again, what else? So I have one day. Just tried to do the "tracker" thing so my days clean show up when I post. Apparently I wasn't committed enough to do that a month ago.
But gonna try now, and try to be honest about the truth of where I am. It is SUCH a relief to find other people who are going/have gone through the same thing. This just isn't a well-known addiction.
Thanks for being out there, and taking the time to type.
I started taking Tramadol 10 years ago- prescribed for my cervical neck herniation.
Over the years- I realized I needed it for its "other" properties besides pain... Increased energy levels, mood..etc..
Though for years I have only been taking 1/2 of the 50mg pill (25mg) a day.. I knew of it's addictivness and was getting a supply on the web -
I'm tapering down now - Only have 3 (50mg) pills left - and have been splitting them into quarters..
I know I'm talking about a small dosage of use over the years- but even going from 25mg a day to nothing is quite noticeable..
I cant imagine what some of you must be having to deal with....
Good to see some new people here. Keep doing what you are doing, it is worth it!
Wish - I can understand what your thought process might have been like when relapsing with that new script. I'm on day 21, and there are good days and bad days. On the bad days, my mind has thought about Tramadol and what I would do if it was in front of me. I'd like to think I'd make the right decision, but I wouldnt know until I was in the moment.
Other than the first 3 days of withdrawal, Day 16 was by far the worst day, and Day 19 was by far the best. The difference in just 72 hours was startling. In Day 16, I lay in agony wishing the depression and lack of ambition would go away. I didnt want to do anything, be around anyone. I was cranky and biting towards people. It was awful. On Day 19, I actually went the other way.....everything was a little too good. I was getting waves of euphoria for no reason, music sounded amazing, etc. I got up and ran a bunch of errands, did all the dishes and swept the walk way (it snowed the night before). I am guessing this is part of the process where my mind is getting used to producing seritonin naturally again. The next day I woke up my brain felt the same way it used to after taking 1 too many painkillers, where my mind used a little too much seritonin....a groggy kind of foggy feeling. Since then my mood has been leveled, but the anxiety and low energy has come back, but not nearly to the degree it was in weeks prior.
Although my progress has been very up and down, overall I do feel like everyday I am slightly improving. The stuff that happened last week was dark and scary but if thats the worst that can happen, I can handle it. Keep strong Tramadol warriors.....I hope that some familiar faces will come back here after the holidays to post, its been rather quiet lately! Happy new year to everyone!
Dema....thx....that is some helpful info. Frankly I am amazed that I can go from such a huge amount to nothing and not really be all that, you know, sick. I mean, I don't feel great, for sure, but, really, it's not that bad. Just so......insidious. And such a weird feeling, like my Brian is squirming. Yuk.
Wanted to share my story real quick and gain some support on my journey and hopefully inspire just one person...
I have been addicted to tramadol for almost 4 years now. I have been on 15-20 50mg pills a day for the previous 2 years. Well on the night of dec 30 I can't explain it but I had a horrendous panic attack that I might not be able to get more tramadol. This scared me to no end and right there I decided the time is now.
Because of how long I have abused the drug I realized I can't go cold turkey for my own personal health. I am a 25 year old college grad with steady job, loving parents, and exercise rigorously daily. I began my taper on New Year's Eve, only taking 12 pills. Jan 1 I took only 10. This morning I sit at work, afraid of my first day at this job where I am not going to take a single pill to get me through the day. Most importantly I need advice and knowledge on how to taper down properly. I know I can't go from 12 to 4 in one week. If anybody knows or has experience please share!
Lastly I believe this is all mental! God would not give any of us something we couldn't handle and something we aren't going to come out the other side of for the better! I am praying for everybody here! We don't have to do this alone!
wish - consider yourself lucky! For me the first 3 days were amazingly awful...then the next few days werent bad at all and I started to wonder how I got so lucky. Then the PAWS hit and I've been struggling with it but overall its not as bad as I thought. I think maybe I built it up quite a bit in my head for years, so i expected to be completely non functional for a month or two. I took my last tramadol on a Monday, worked the whole day Tuesday as the withdrawals began to take effect, took Wednesday and Thursday off and was back on Friday. While I wouldn't say I was feeling normal, I was able to easily do my job (luckily its a desk job with not much communicating with other people). You've obviously been 20+ days clean recently so I'm sure you can understand the paws stuff that burdens you, and maybe that helps if you get an icky feeling or something. I felt absolutely no depression symptoms until day 16 when it hit me hard and since that point it's been a bit of a roller coaster. Not sure how much this really addresses what you are saying about not feeling that bad, but wanted to share my experience.
summer - How long has your husband been clean? I went CT and the brain zaps stopped somewhere around day 15 or so. I didn't take anything to combat them, although in retrospect I should have because they were bad at times. I wish I could provide more help other than saying that it will go away gradually.
km - congrats on deciding to have enough of this poison. I don't have experience with tapering, when I quit I decided I did not want to prolong it and just stopped a 27 pill a day habit like that. Everyone has different ways of getting off, but the important thing is that you are getting off and reclaiming your life. Stay strong through the taper, you are way more disciplined than I could ever be!
Day 23 here and again its been a struggle. Question for anyone who has dealt with this - is there anything I can do to help me stay up later? I don't know if its because of years of sleep disfunction, but everyday I get extremely tired around 8pm at night, and not just tired but 'i have to goto bed immediately' tired. I've tried to just fight through it and just stay up, but i immediately become extremely irritable and find myself lashing out at my wife, who finally gets fed up and forces me to go to sleep. I've never been short tempered and irritable in my life, so it has to be a WD symptom, but I'm more concerned with my body's need for 10-11 hours a sleep every night. I goto bed around 9 and wake up around 7-8 and it just seems like no matter what I do, my body is forcing me to get this much sleep. I want to get back to 8 hours a night but nothing seems to keep me up. I am thinking about going and buying B12 and trying that. Caffeine doesn't really do anything for me since I am taking that throughout the day (another drug i want to get off). Any tips appreciated!
Dema- thanks for the reply! How long had you been addicted when you decided to quit? CT is mighty impressive... That is what I want to do bc I want this done with right now! I know that isn't how it works though. I had my mind set on going cold turkey for the last two days but then I get to hour 20 or so and I give in bc I can't take the discomfort anymore and decide tapering is a better idea. Pathetic I know.... So I'm fighting that battle as well. How long did your symptoms last? What was the worse part of everything? I just want to get to the light at the end of the tunnel so bad. Did you take any supplements or anything else during your detox? This is the most challenging thing I have ever done. Plain and simple.
I'll be honest, the physical symptoms are pure hell and for me peaked in the first 4 days. After the 4th day, everything was much more managable. Still really hard to deal with but there was a clear difference between the first 3-4 days, which I was pretty much a vegetable, and beyond when I could function, carry on conversations, and go to work. There is nothing I can say to prepare you for the first few days though. They suck....no sleep, restless legs, overall feeling of agony. I did not take any supplements, other than daily vitamins and drank lots of tea for the antioxidants. I probably would have benefitted from some though. If you look through this thread and the others, there are a lot of great suggestions. Also, look up opiate withdrawal remedies online, as from what I understand the acute withdrawal is very similar. The one thing that saved me those first few days was hot baths. Take them whenever you feel like it, as they help. The only times that I was able to think about anything other than the agony I was in was while soaking in hot baths.
Here is my timeline:
Day 1: Not too bad because the WD hasnt kicked in
Day 2-4 Pure hell. Unable to do anything at all. Completely unable to live my life...TV was unwatchable, conversations were abrupt, sleep was almost non-existant (maybe 4 hours total, most of it being 20-30 minutes at a time)
Day 5-7: Rapidly improving physically. you will feel the withdrawals go away and it will be a great feeling. I literally woke up on the morning of day 4 feeling more of the same, and over the course of a day was able to walk my dogs, engage in conversations, focus my attention on TV, write emails). The biggest issue for me was complete lack of energy. Despite being able to do those things, I could only do them in very short spurts. By day 6, I was able to go out and do normal things but only for maybe an hour at a time, and I had to lay down immediately afterwards. By day 7, the physical symptoms should mostly be a thing of the past besides low energy, and you will almost certainly feel a great accomplishment that you are beating this thing.
The PAWS will kick in at some point after day 7, and its a whole other war to deal with, but the physical symptoms are what people mostly dread and the biggest barrier to quitting, and those will be gone.
I'm rambling a little here but my point is, you will have the worst 96 hours of your life, but to keep things in perspective, 96 hours out of your life is almost nothing. It will suck during it, but once you get past it, you will think to yourself "thats what i was worried about?"
(also I am only posting from my experience as someone who CT'd. You're perspective might/will be different having tapered. From what I read though, no matter how slowly you taper you will go through acute withdrawals, but maybe not as badly). Good luck and keep us posted on your progress, and let me know if you would like any other info to help you get through this!
Also, I forgot to mention that I had been taking tramadol daily for 4 years, increasing my dosage slowly up to 27 a day, which I had been at for maybe 9 months to a year. You will read worse stories, but my usage was more than most.
Thank you SOOO much for your advice and experience Dema. For somebody to quit cold turkey after 4 years of abuse that got up to 27 a day, that is amazing! I am very similar to your situation as well, been on them for close to 4 years and have been right around 16-20 for the past 1-2 years...
It's so pathetic how my mind currently works and what I have done the last couple days... I made up my mind I was done both times... I got through the first 20 hours or so and of course that is when the WD fully kicks in and that is when I immediately give in to the temptation... I don't WANT to taper, I want this to be done with, but I know that isn't how it works. This is not an instant gratification thing. I get REALLY bad anxiety whenever I get to hour 20 or so that I am going to get through a week of this and not feel a single bit better...
Aside from the physical symptoms, which are indeed pure hell, I found the majority of problems coming with the mental symptoms... I have these random panic attacks and fits of anger and nervousness followed by extreme depression. I don't want to go to a doctor because I don't want to come off of this only to get hooked on something else, which I fear I will...
I am in a bad place right now, mainly because of my uncertainty about which direction I am headed in... I fight like hell to get through 18-20 hours then I cave and give in. This is the worst mistake of my life, bar none! The thing I am most ashamed of is that I don't even have a troubled background or reason to abuse... I simply liked the feeling of it and there is nothing more to it.... Like I said, everything around me just seems grey, I feel like there is no end in sight and I feel like this is the life I am resigned to...
I've sat here at my desk all afternoon watching the clock CRAWL by... If I taper off of this I am afraid feeling like this everyday for months will drive me crazy! I keep going back and forth between taper and CT.... I have no answer to myself right now, it is rather scary...
kmchristian - We are all in this same boat. You have to let that shame go. You are moving forward with a tramadol free life -simple as that. I think the greatest mistake of your life would be to not get off tramadol. You can only control the future and look that the steps you have already taken...you are here! I had the exact same feeling about not wanting to taper. It was likely worse physically but I feel like I am reclaiming my life sooner. However, if your success chance is higher with a taper, so be it. When you start your taper, you are in control, not tramadol. You have already starting winning the fight.
And as my recovery buddy Demafrost mentioned....hot baths. You can pay the water bill later.
Thank you for the good words Stilly.... how did you do your taper? Did you still feel the withdrawal symptoms throughout the entire period? How long did it take you to get to 0? What did you start from? I am coming off a 4 year, 15-20 pill a day habit so I think I am in a different boat than some others...
@demafrost this has been an on going battle with my husband and finally I gave him an ultimatum so he tapered down fast I mean like ten days fast, we've done the long way and both agreed that it just didn't work, his first official cold turkey was yesterday and luckily so far so good. He is taking cough syrup for the brain zaps for now ... which I don't agree with but we are getting him vitamins such as fish oil, b complex, 5 htp, and a daily multivitamin so hopefully it works. I know from an outsiders perspective how hard it is for all of you to quit. I've seen it with my husband, I know I am an outsider but I have seen him lie and hurt me and the others around him. Just remember you all CAN DO THIS!!!! In the end you are only hurting yourselves and I believe that you all have the willpower, strength and courage to get off of what I call the DEVIL! Best of luck everyone!
@kmchristian. I did both actually. I was taking 500mg/day for about one year. I started to taper by about 50mg every 1-2 weeks. My body did not like it and I went through w/d for a number of days each step down. I got down to 300mg/day and went for it. It was much more intense going c/t but I was just so done. Go back and read through the forum and you will see posts from people who tapered down from your dosage. It just takes a longer committment. It can be done. But if you are ready for c/t people do it that way too. My point is however you do it, we all have our own recipe - it can work and you can do it!
I still have occasional withdrawls and low energy but I really think much of that is how poorly I took care of myself while on tramadol. I am in horrible shape and it is no wonder I have no energy. Brain zaps are mostly gone and anxiety is rare at this point. I feel like I have slayed a dragon!
@thestilly that is so reassuring to hear, that is the exact plan I am on, 50mg per week and in 10 weeks, WALLA! I know it isn't that simple but none the less....
I also wanted to stay in touch with everybody for the evening and simply share my thoughts and what is going through my mind to hopefully get some feedback...
I just want to update that I was at 16 pills/day on December 30, 12/day December 31, and 10/day January 1st, all in all quite a cut down... I took my first 150 mg of the day at 5:45pm central time. I have put such a focus on time because my BIGGEST fear is the lack of sleep, which the more I read about addiction and the underlying issues is part of the reason I started using in the first place.
I have also been addicted for over 4 years now so my body has become so EXTREMELY dependant on it I think I would have some serious physical/mental issues going CT. So the VICIOUS cycle I have been in is I will go CT during the day, simply so I can save my "tapered" amount for the evening... with no pills all day, yet the drug still in my system I get courage to go cold turkey until I give into the withdrawals, which have been at the 19, 20, and 18 hour marks the past three days. This "giving in" instantly satisfies but instantly makes me feel like a failure, bc I've taken tramadol again... This is the problem, I have the mental anguish on myself all day of not using then the mental anguish at night that I have given in... getting off of this drug has consumed every second of my day, which I think it needs to if you are fully committed to quitting but I am just beating myself up WAAAAY too much.
I think my problem comes from the fact that I feel like putting a pill in my mouth has made me a failure, which it shouldn't. I have been a slave to these things for 4 years! I know it will take some time. I don't know if anybody has any legitimate feedback or experience on the issue but I really feel good about the taper method i am using, going through the withdrawal symptoms during the day (which have been BAD the last 3 days, not CT HELL ON EARTH but I haven't had a single smiling moment the past 3 days) and then tapering down in the evening...
On a good note, like I said 4 days ago I was on a 16 pill a day habit. I just took my first 3 pills since 11 pm last night and the feeling I have gotten from them is equal to what it would take 6 or 7 to do just a week ago, which means my body must be weaning itself back to life... i hope...
Another thing, I feel like I get on here and do a lot of rambling about myself looking for support, which I feel can be selfish sometimes. I am not here just looking for motivation and support but I want to help somebody! You have no idea the last 72 hours when I have been at some low points just logging on and reading somebody's thoughts and feelings have given me that pickup I need to make it to the next hour. If I can just help ONE person I would feel blessed! I owe everything to every single person in here over the last 72 hours!
@kmchristian- I will tell you exactly what I have told my husband. You are not a failure. You can do this. If you didn't realize the problem you had and continued to think of it as not being an issue, then you are a FAILURE. The fact that you are tapering all on your own and willing to quit is awesome. I don't think my husband would've ever done it if I didn't push him. As for your taper it all depends on the person. When my husband tapered slowly he was never even able to STOP. But I gave him an ultimatum and today was his first day off. We went from 12 pills to ten to 9 then 8 then 7 etc until he went down to two then nothing and somehow the quicker method worked for him. Keep me posted add me if you like I'd love to help as much as I can!
hey guys, back again. glad to see some chatter going on. stilly and demafrost, we are all side by side basically in our recovery time wise. this is day 25 for me and while the sleep isn't near where it needs to be it is getting better. my energy is slowly getting back to normal. still have a loooooong ways to go in those two areas but it's getting there, it's getting better. my big problem right now is facing life and the problems it brings. mainly little things that aren't a big deal but they re much more magnified now that i am clearing out. however, my problems are child's play, at this time, compared to many i have read on here and so so many people's around the world. i still don't have much of a drive and motivation has always been a hard thing for me. i'm a person who only wants to stay in his comfort zone.
anyway, i want to tell you all who are tapering that if it is what you want to do then do it. if i had my choice i would have tapered myself because even though you are cutting down on those pills you still have that slight comfort of being able to look forward to that next dose to help even you out. that is fine as long as you stick to your schedule. i do want to remind you guys that i went from my avg of 12 a day to ct in a matter of 3 days. that was with a 10 year habbit. it's something i never thought i could have done if i wasn't forced to do so. trust me, my little bubble is damn near unbreakable, as I play life close to the vest.
i'm here to say that i learned how amazing the human mind and body can be if you just give it a chance. if you stop right now you can be through the ringer, as far as any major symptoms, within the next few days. i can honestly say that i am not a strong willed person at all. i haven't faced really any true hardships in 37 years but they will come and come often as i grow older, especially the death of loved ones, since i have only lost an aunt and uncle in my life. now that i am free and have gotten older i have been thinking a lot about life and how to deal with it. i'm weak and need to grow stronger. having said that, if i can quit as fast as i did then all of you can to. you are stronger than me, that is more than likely a fact.
whatever your method, just know, even though i don't know you as a person, i do know you for what this drug has done to us and it can be beaten and beaten easier than you think if you just grit your teeth and look it square in the face and decide that whatever days you are blessed to have remaining on this plant that it will not share that journey with you with it's claws deeply entrenched inside of you. YOU will live YOUR life on your OWN terms.
Thanks for the feedback summer and droop! I only took 9 pills yesterday so for those keeping track I am from 15-16 a day on December 30 to 9 on January 2. Like I said before my main concern is with sleeping at night. I'm not going to lie when those pills hit my mouth in the evening it is an amazing feeling and I feel renewed all over again but I know the feeling of being free will be even sweeter!
I think 90% of this for me is mental. There are things I have been doing in my life on pills for SO long I get anxious over doing them without pills... Work for example. I get these mini panic attacks at work that I'm not able to take a pill bc it's just what I am used to...
For somebody who has been here... How long does it take to get over the stage where pills and taking a pill is all you think about 24/7? Does this go away with time? Right now is basically a struggle to get through each hour pill free and counting down until I can take one... I feel like a failure for that mindset...
Outside of that my first three days have been victorious! As always, you are all in my prayers!
This afternoon has been REALLY REALLY difficult!!! I am experiencing some nasty withdrawal symptoms mentally and physically and this is all while doing a taper down! The only thing I can think of is how long until I give in and take a pill... Could really use some support right now, thank you all very very much during this trying time!
km - I would really recommend not dosing the way that you have been. Granted I did not taper, but I think it is much better to just split up that dose throughout the day and even yourself out. I understand your desire to sleep, but I don't think it should effect your sleep that much to split up your doses in quarters or halves. Although I was taking up to 27 a day before quitting, I like many addicts would have days where the shipment was a day late and i had to make due on a lot less. Even if I had 9 left, I would take those 9 as normal and go about my day. I'd still get the kick from the drugs, and I didn't have very much trouble sleeping at all (although I'd wake up with a nice amount of physical withdrawals the next morning...but you aren't randomly cutting your dose down 66% in one day so it shouldnt be as much of an issue).
anyways, the beginning stages of withdrawals are pure hell...do yourself a favor and don't force yourself to experience that everyday. The point of tapering is to make the withdrawal as comfortable of a process as possible.
Please stay strong and remain committed to get off this horrible drug....we are rooting for you! Good to see the guy one day ahead of me too (droop)! And summer thanks for you support, I wish your husband the best as he gets through this!
Also, glad to see my recovery buddy posting again! I am glad things are going well for you.
@kmchristian- you are doing an amazing job, don't give up. I know you are experiencing tremendous withdrawal symptoms, go home and try to take a hot bath or shower itll help you also try to take some melatonin to help you sleep at night it should do the trick. Remember if you just take a pill to get rid of the withdrawals they will be back in a few hours anyway, but if you fight through it and you get through it you will never have to endure these symptoms ever again. Once you live tramadol free you will not regret it TRUST ME. TOday is just another day and you are strong enough to do this. Don't let tramadol whisper into your ears and tell you that you need them because you don't!!! Keep up the amazing work on the taper you got this. 2013 will be your drug free year!
@derma, thanks for the kind words, you have no idea how much it means to me that on this board people are so willing to take time out of their busy lives to encourage a COMPLETE stranger! You are probably right about the taper thing, matter of fact you ARE right. Just mentally, the way I explain it to myself, is that I am going to have to face the withdrawal symptoms at some point and I feel like I have the power when I can dictate when. Keep in mind I HOPE these kind of symptoms don't keep on for much longer, I was at 16/day 4 days ago and am now at 9, so I should be feeling some withdrawal from that... I am PRAYING this levels off soon, I dont know how many more days like these last 2 days I have in me... it is certainly trying!
@summer- thank you for your kind words as well! You are exactly right about about everything. Taking another tramadol will only make them go away for a little while, only to come back again! I don't know what your battle with this horrible drug has been like but I would love to know, hopefully I can provide some encouragement and support along the way!
To everybody in this room, I don't know who all is religious but I have found my faith EXTREMELY helpful through this process. We don't have to do this on our own! I found one verse EXTREMELY inspirational to me today, Romans 8:31: "If god is FOR us, who can EVER be against us"... as always, everybody here is in my prayers!
@kmchristian: my battle with tramadol isn't a personal battle, well my husbands battle is with tramadol. We have been married for almost two years now and tramadol has ruined our relationship. He isn't the man I met and fell in love with unfortunately tramadol makes it miserable to be around him. It makes him angry all the time, and very violent in all ways. He said this time he was done for good and I am hoping that is the case this time. We did slow tapers, fast tapers everything you can think of and I always caught him hiding it from me, so I am hoping this time around (me threatening to seriously leave him) did the trick. I know moreso about the drug from an outside perspective. From watching him deal with withdrawals, etc.
I am not sure quite where to start. I will not go into my personal history just yet. Everyone has a story on how they got here and now here I am. I have been on it for over 10 years. And I can tell you right now I am very angry I am in this position. I know I am the one who has to take responsibility but when you are put on this stuff and told that it is to take the place of addictive medications, and here were are, dependent on the thing that was supposed to prevent addiction! Where is the doctor's responsibility in all this? You go to the doc and tell them and they treat you like a criminal, which is why I am terrified to tell my current doc. Because once I do, there it is, that stigma. I have dealt with that in other areas of my life and just do not think I can handle it again, being treated as if I have done something horrible. And once you tell them, you will always be labled an addict. Same goes with family and friends. But I know that this is it. It is time to get my life completely back. And I am terrified. I have tried to quit a hundred times and obviously have failed so far. Now doing research on the internet, there are thousands of us! I have never heard about this in the news or anywhere. It is like it is all a secret.
Anyway, I do not think I can quit cold turkey. I want to taper. If I take probably 10-12/day, how do I even start? I am also making a list of natural things to do/eat/take to help as best as possible.I have tons of questions. I need all the support I can get.
Sorry I called you Shaw. I hate my phone. I have been on trams for years. I am in the process of trying to figure out whether to taper or go cold turkey. I usually go cold turkey, but it is horrible. But then again tapering is no picnic either. As to what to take and eat- Go back and re-read the old journals. There is a Thomas Recipe of natural stuff to take to help you. Most of them are amino acids and herbs. I have quit a bunch of times too and relapsed over and over again. You can taper or go cold turkey. Emily’s journals are the best source of information. My struggle is outlined throughout-I started on here on journal 17 I think, and we are now on 55. Wow! Anyway, I find Gaba very helpful if you go cold turkey. It helps with the brain zaps. Make sure to have plenty of immodium. But the best advice I can give is re-read the threads and journals. There is truth in all of the stories, and that is where you will glean the most useful insight and information. Good luck. I will be on a lot more now. I guess the FDA is making it illegal to ship tramadol through us pharmacies, so I have to quit, because I just order it online. Which is good-I need to quit. I’m not sure I’m ready, but I have to do it so here we go……..again…..lol. Good luck, and feel free to ask away. Sometimes this place is so busy with people, and sometimes it is slow. But now the FDA has outlawed shipping it, I’m sure there will be a lot more people looking for answers and help.
Booba - I had been ordering it as well and now suddenly I cannot seem to get it, but they are not telling me they cannot ship it, they just place the order vand nothing happens and now I suddenly cannot get any response from these companies. I figured something like this was happening. I thought it was a state by state thing and as far as I can see my state has not outlawed it yet. But, the fact is, I have a problem. And like you, I feel it probably is a good time to stop. I have read many of these threads and they make me feel better just by reading them. I would think tapering would be easier - is it? I just do not know about my will power. I have not had one for 3 1/2 hours and though I fell okay at the moment, mentally, it is driving me crazy! Thanks for your response and good luck to you as well.
One of many questions, if I did end up going to the doc or ER, what would they do? I do not want to be confined!
Shae-Well we really are in the same boat then. I had the same problem. I can’t get them on the phone, they won’t e-mail me back, etc. I happened on the info by chance. I found a website where they showed that they weren’t allowed to ship it anymore through cartadmin, netordersystem, etc., and I think even the health solution people. I will try to find the link and post it here. I don’t know about going to the ER or doctor. I don’t think they would confine you. Most docs don’t believe it is addictive, which is the problem. Some people try suboxone, but it is mainly for narcotic addicts, and tram isn’t a narcotic. Plus it is super expensive, insurance doesn’t cover it, and it is mainly helping you but you have to wean off that too and I hear it is horrible as well. Maybe we should go cold turkey. You are pretty much out of service for a week though, and with my job I can’t afford that so I don’t know what to do. It sure will save me a heck of a lot of money though….lol. We have to laugh to keep from crying. Let me try to find that link. Please read through the posts. I think it will help you decide on a taper or cold turkey. I have done quick tapers before, and that helps. You just take a little less each day until you run out.
I received a message that they deleted my post. I didn't post it with the intention of people ordering it. I was just trying to show the wording of the new regulations. I'm so sorry. I was not trying to offend anyone. Again, I am so sorry. Please don't be mad at me.
Summerloven-You had asked about supplements for brain zaps. Have your husband try Gaba. The best place to find it is at a GNC. I looked at Rite Aid without luck. The last time I went.cold turkey at 20 a day and tried Gaba the brain zaps were minimal. It helps the brain receptors in some way. Either way, it cured the zaps for me. Please post people. I feel, like I am the reason no, one is posting and I feel horrible.
Booba - I can assure you that no one is mad at you for posting what you did. You were trying to help, not a big deal. In fact we appreciate it. Some of us here are not currently completely off the demon drug and need that sort of information. Although I'm not sure if posting information pertaining to acquiring tramadol is ok on this forum, its clear your heart was in the right place.
Day 26 is ending for me. The last 3 days have been really good after dealing with depression and anxiety off and (mostly) on between days 13 and 23. I'm still not all the way there yet....in fact I have a ways to go to be 100% but I can clearly feel an overall improvement on a day to day basis, which makes me very happy. I'm sure I'm due for some bad days ahead. I just hope they will be increasingly less severe and they will come less and less frequently as time goes on. Keep fighting everyone!
@booba: thank you we will try that. right now were doing one a day vitamins, fish oil and 5 htp that seems to be helping and when they get SUPER BAD he is having a tbsp of cough syrup but only when it gets really bad! thanks for the info i really appreciate it! My husband made progress I know this may sound stupid but today was the first time he has cried in a year and a half and I found hidden pills and confronted him and he said "I swear I am done with that crap" and flushed them!!! I couldn't believe it!
Well, I fell off the wagon. I'm back at day one after a whole month no Tramadol. The depression, fatigue, and chest pains got the best of me. Now I'm back to being sick, scared, and having my poor husband do everything. I feel so guilty.
@lamom, no big deal! Bounce right back up and you know what to do! Don't see yourself as a failure, you are only human. There was no harm in taking a pill, nobody is hurt or dead! You already quit once so you know what to do and it will be easier this time.
To everybody else who has been helping me the last couple days, I apologize for disappearing for the weekend. I have been making an active effort to try to stay busy to keep my mind active! I can say WITHOUT question I am in a much better place right this second than I was a week ago at this time. To those of you who are reading this for the first time, the short version is I have been on a 16+ pill a day Tramadol habit for the last 3 years. I finally decided enough is enough and that it was time to quit! In the last week I have been through the most mentally and physically challenging week of my life bar none! As of this evening, I have successfully tapered down to only 7 pills for the last 2 days and am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! I felt better today both mentally and physically and felt today was the first day I never had any major anxiety attacks or bouts of depression. For the first time in this I feel like this is something I can actually do!!!! I know I am still not at 0, but I feel like I have already slayed the dragon!
I had a couple questions to everybody here who has some experience or knowledge on the situation... the main reason I am tapering is because I am trying to maintain my job on a daily basis and need sleep throughout. While things are exponentially more difficult, it seems to be working effectively so far. I was thinking about going to talk to a doctor about what I am going through and see if I could get something for the anxiety and sleep... The main reason I am still taking the pills and not off of them yet is so I can assure myself of some sleep at night! For anybody who has been here before, what do you say to a doctor when you are in this situation? How should I approach this with them, will he/she understand?
I hope everybody else is doing well, I pray for everybody, every night. If I have learned one thing in this past week it is that the mind and body is a POWERFUL POWERFUL thing! I have found great strength in my faith as well. I truly believe my addiction and this struggle is God teaching me something and bringing me back to him. This is all a learning experience. As always, everybody is in my prayers and I hope this post finds everybody well! Have a blessed night!
@lamom33- you can do it. Don't resent yourself thats the pills talking, they want you to feel bad about yourself so you can take more. I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU CAN DO IT!
@kmchristian- I personally feel that getting more medication for anxiety and sleep is a bad idea since you are trying to battle this addiction that is my own personal opinion though. Many doctors are unaware that tramadol is even addictive. If anything I would try to get some melatonin (its over the counter tablets) naturally make you sleepy and slight grogginess in the morning. If those don't work then I'd say go to the doctor otherwise I would advise the natural route as much as possible. Best of luck!
Thanks for the support. I have to do it. I can't keep putting my body through this. 4 weeks no pills then close to 3 wks drowning myself with them. I'm going through withdrawals again (I'm not sure I was even finished with them after a month). I've layed around most of the day. I've started st. john's wort this time around. I hope it helps.
I used a sleep app. last night, while I didn't fall asleep, I could lay in one place for 2 hrs which is good for me.
lamom33 - good for you for recommitting to being off this horrible drug! i am on day 28 and while I dont have a strong urge at all to take any tramadol, i don't know how i'd react if i found some pills during a particularly down day. Don't beat yourself up over relapsing. If quitting tramadol was easy, there wouldn't be an entire journal packed with people posting about trying to get off this crap. Stay strong and remember the agony of acute withdrawal and use the pain as fuel for anger to stay off trams for good.
Day 28 and was hoping I could get some feedback on a few questions I have had.
1) b12 pills. do they work? I know the mother of this forum, Emily talked about using them quite a bit. Like most people in tram withdrawal, I have had my issues with energy coming off this crap and am considering options for getting more energy. how often can you take them? what sort of boost does it give (in one of emily's journals she talks about putting one under her tongue and waiting for it to 'kick in')? Just looking for some general feedback.
2) I hear a lot of people complain about still not being able to sleep 20+ days into withdrawal. I havent had that problem since maybe the first week. If anyone, my biggest problem is that my body is requesting too much sleep. Has anyone had an issue with repeatedly getting extremely tired around 8-9 PM? For about 3 weeks now, every single night I've been getting extremely 'have to go to bed' tired at around 8:30, and depending on how long I fight it, I finally goto sleep between 9-10PM and getting up at 7, getting between 9-10 hours of sleep per night. Prior to quitting tram (and prior to even taking tram), I have been a complete night person my whole life. So this is quite an adjustment for me, and one that I'd like to reverse. For the first 2 weeks, I figured my body was just catching up on the sleep it needed over the past 4 years and eventually sleeping 10 hours a night would allow me to stay up later again. But 3 weeks of this and every night its the same. If anyone has had this, does it eventually go away? Was there anything you did to help you get past this? Is there a reason behind it? Help!
3) I've been reading about extended PAWS symptoms and I've come across something stating that there are flareups of PAWs around 30,60,90,180, 365 and 720 days....something to do with moon cycles....very weird. Was just curious to hear what other people post 30 days have experienced and if thats true. Obviously, at day 28 and having had maybe 5 consecutive (mostly) good days, I am worried about an oncoming attack.
Overall, instead of having "bad days", I've been instead having "bad moments" where I might feel depressed or back in a big fog for maybe 2 hours and the rest of the day is good. I guess that is progress because about a week ago, I was having bad day after bad day with an occasional good one mixed in. Very weird going through this process. Anyways, keep fighting guys! I wish you all the best!
Demafrost-Boy have I been there. That is my #1 complaint for long term withdrawal is the lack of energy. I took the liquid B12 drops, the sublinguals, etc. I do think they help, but time helps more than anything, and I honestly felt like I never got the energy back like I would have liked to. Try coffee, and maybe the L-Tyrosine. That is supposed to energize you and help you focus. Also everyone keeps harping on exercising-I’m sure it helps, if I actually did it. It is worth a shot. And the long term PAWS-I believe in it. I’m not sure if it is exactly like stated, but there were times, for me anyway, that it seemed as if I had only been 30 days out, and I was months off the trams. It is so easy to relapse during this time, and I’m sure that is the cause for my many relapses. Here is the key-always come back to this forum. It needs to be top of mind how horrible the withdrawals are. I do think the PAWS depends on the length of use and amount. I have been on them for years, using 20-25 50 mg per day in some instances. I’m horribly ashamed that I have relapsed once again, because I had been doing so well. The lack of energy and depression are what gets me.
So here is my story (some of you may remember me from journals 17-25). I have been on and off for years. I have always been a bit of a pill popper, and I loved that these gave me energy, weren’t addictive (HAHA) and were not narcotic. I order them off of the internet. And now that is no longer possible, so I am finally forced with a reason to quit-because I have to. I have about 155 left, and am up to around 15-18 per day now. What do I do? A fast taper? Cold turkey? Ahhh I just don’t know. I could never do a slow taper because I have no willpower and no support system. I cannot tell my husband or parents. I just cannot do it. My brother was missing for a year, and they just found his remains in November, so we have all been through a lot. I have a full time job and a 7 year old daughter, and I don’t know when I can really hunker down for a week of hellish withdrawals, so I will have to continue to work while going through this, which *****. Anyway, this forum really has been a godsend to me and I have spent countless hours on here. I will do my best to help everyone with any questions they have to the best of my ability. And in about 10 days to 2 weeks I will be in the exact same boat.
@demafrost: my husband is currently taking 2 capsules of omega 3 fish oil, 1 b12 vitamin and 1 5htp it seems to be working for him. He seems more awake after taking those supplements maybe you could try them.
As for sleep maybe try some melatonin may help you.
@booba77: when my husband did slow tapers it NEVER worked for some reason he always talked himself into taking more ... but when he did a fast taper he was just like f*** it because he was already feeling sick so he figured cold turkey couldn't be that much worse since his body was already getting used to it. Actually I feel that he experienced a lot less extreme withdrawal symptoms during fast taper than he did during short taper. For him short taper was HELL while fast taper was a breeze.
I'm currently taking 200mg slow released at night to stop the pains in legs and for endometriosis.
When dr put me on tramadol promised it wasn't addictive, I have only had 3 scripts (60 tabs) and won't off them!!!
So I need some advice is tapering best way?
I hope I can deal with tummy as have IBS so that normal but the achey legs drives me mental can anyone suggest anything for that..
I'm so scared to tell my fiancé to that I'm about to do this. All cause I the stupid dr.
Summerloven-So the fish oil pills help with energy too? I knew they were good for heart health. I will have to try those. I’m sure I will do a fast taper, since I don’t have enough to do a slow one. Or I may just go cold turkey. My workload here at work makes it so hard. Plus a colleague that has my old job will be on vacation for 2 weeks soon, so I will have to do his job and mine during the worst of the WD. Don’t know what the heck to do about that. So from what I have read, with the L-Tyrosine, you should take B-6 to help with absorption. Has anyone else ever heard of that? I am leery of an herbal stuff for depression, but I will start my wellbutrin back when I jump off since that won’t cause seratonin syndrome and it does help me with energy and depression.
Jayde-Are you on the trams for restless legs or just pain in your legs and endometriosis? You may want to do a slow taper as that should lessen the restless leg syndrome you will experience when coming off. Hylands makes an over the counter leg formula, but it is hard to find. You can get it at any drugstore and it contains quinine. Super hot baths and soaking in epsom salts helps with that immensely. When I was younger, I had terrible growing pains in my legs and the heating pad helped with that so it may be worth a shot. Since you weren’t on it for very long, the withdrawals shouldn’t be too intense, so that is promising. Good luck, and feel free to ask away. I really thought there wouldn’t have been more people on here considering the new changes with the online pharmacies. Maybe there are a lot of lurkers. Keep fighting on warriors. We can do it.
Demafrost - I wish I could offer good advice for intense sleepiness at night. I am just the opposite though. My body wanted 10 hours of sleep while I was abusing tramadol and now my body only seems to want 7 hours a night. Hopefully you can find a solution there. It sounds like you are doing great with your recovery as well! I am becoming more convinced that the much of my energy issues are not just due to wi/d but also how poorly I took care of myself while on tramadol. I ate horribly, gained weight, never excercised - it was all about the trammies, all the time. It is no wonder I have no energy...who would!?! I have been forcing myself to exercise this whole time and it is starting to get much easier to have strong workouts. I still have those same "moments" of anxienty and sometimes brain zaps. But there are getting shorter and farther in between and are very managable. I am soooooooo glad I quit!
Warriors - our battle continues! Take no prisoners in your Trammy war!
I've spent the day laying around. Was able to cook a quick dinner. I was desperate to fall asleep last night so I took some nyquil and listened to binary beats for sleep. I had it up too high and felt fried, but turned it down and fell asleep for 4 hrs straight. I'm feeling better mentally. Not sure if it's from the sleep or the St. John's Wort. My husband is being very kind. I haven't told him. He just thinks I'm sick (again). I love my family.
Jayde--I would do a taper if I had the strength. Withdrawal can really affect the legs(sore, kicking around, can't stay still).
I think I'm going to have to go cold turkey to as this taper thing is very hard. I started 3 weeks holidays today. So might give up after weekend as we have my fiances 30th birthday this weekend..
It's so hard, I just want to cry. I feel shaky, hot and just want to be sick and my body is so sore..
Why the hell can drs give this awful drug out..
He gave it to me more for my endometriosis after losing a baby.
I'm so scared to let anyone know what's going on for fear off being judged
@booba77- he says they do help him with energy as well, he doesn't really feel super tired until around 8 or 9 which is technically normal. I would give it a shot won't hurt right ... walmart had them on sale about a week ago so try it out!!! let me know if it helps!
@Jayde121: you can absolutely do it. cold turkey for my husband was his best option he tapered down to a few then cold turkeyed the first 48hrs were the worst but think about it your giving up 48hrs of being sick to have a lifetime of freedom! its defff worth it.
Anyone who is going to taper or do cold turkey I would suggest investing in "air relax series long boot" it helped my husband A LOT with restless leg syndrome, google it you should find it. What it is its basically a compression stocking that goes on your feet legs and thighs and it compresses (squeezes the legs) it helped a lot and eased the pain. Just thought I'd put that out there for anyone who may need it.
thestilly - its funny how different our tram experiences were. On tramadol, I never slept enough (never wanted to sleep), lost a ton of weight (had no appetite. I'm 6'3'' and went from 220 lbs, to about 190). Since getting off trams, I have slept so much and have eaten everything in sight. I wanted to gain about 15 pounds as quickly as possible, but I am starting to realize healthy eating is probably better for me mentally, so the weight will have to come up slower. Glad to hear you are doing well and have such satisfaction about quitting! I do too!
Day 30! For everyone behind me wondering if it can be done, it can!
I am not sure if I believe in the 30,60,90 day PAWS thing, but yesterday sure was awful. After a stretch of maybe 5-6 legit good days, I had a bad one yesterday. Depression returned, so did anxiety, lack of ambition to do anything, etc. It sucked because I had a lot to get done. I will say that although they sucked, the symptoms were not as severe as they were some days in the teens (day 16 was a particularly bad day). During that time, I almost literally forgot i loved things. my fiance, daughter, dogs, etc. I didnt want to be around, i just wanted to be by myself. Even though I was feeling low last night, I was able to play with my daughter, talk to my mom on the phone, run an errand, etc.
And today I woke up and felt....better...I think. I can never completely tell in the mornings. I feel so lazy and low on energy in the mornings that its hard to get motivated regardless of what kind of day I am having. Once I get up and get going, things get better and I can start to understand where my head is at today. I also feel like there are triggers that can get me in a good mood and bad mood. I think thats a sign that my brain is returning to normal and that while my mood can still elevate wildly for no reason, there are ways I feel like I can get it back on track.
So for those in the first 30 days wondering what an average day is like up here...its unpredictable. Although yesterday was a bad day, an entire bad day is a complete rareity at this point. It's more like bad hours and good hours. I'd say I will feel normal anywhere from 60% of a given day to 90% of a given day. Yesterday was a 60% day, the preceeding 3-4 days were 90s. Energy is still a bit low, but once I get myself going, I can usually accomplish a lot.
Glad to see more people ready to kick this stupid drug to the curb. Stay strong, we are all rooting for you!
demafrost-so glad you are doing well. I'm happy for you.
I was able to sleep about 4 hrs again last night. RLS kicked in, and I was thrashing around for about 2 hrs. but still got some sleep. Woke up and had heart pounding anxiety. Laid back down for an hour and felt a little better. Did about ten minutes of Qi quong (just starting to learn it). I was shaking through it, but I do feel better. Very nice out today. May try a short walk. Trying to stay positive.
Well, the electrical shocks started in today. I have a suspicion that my coffee consumption may affect them. They also seem to arrive with the libido increase.
I did walk yesterday and even today when it was raining. Just a short 5-10min walk.
Slept 6hrs but it took me 4hrs to fall asleep. Feeling okay. I think the month tram free is lessing the symptoms plus the st. johns wort. Oh, I'm constantly listening to music which is helping. Gonna cook dinner and just chill the rest of the evening, maybe watch a movie with the family.
Hey everybody! It has been awhile since I have checked in and I saw we had a bunch of new stuff going on so I wanted to support those people by offering up where I am as far as getting off this horrible thing!
For those of you who aren't familiar, as of the first of 2013, I had a 4 year Tramadol habit that was on a consistent 16-18 pill a day habit. As Booba mentioned, when pharmacy companies had to start adhering to some more regulations, I had a complete panic and anxiety attack that I can't describe in words. That moment, I decided that I am done with this crap, I am no longer letting it run my life. Having to take pills with me to go certain places so I knew I would be able to take them if needed... it is pathetic indeed.
Initially I set out just to get over this cold turkey, but after the first 20 hours off of them, I knew that wasn't going to happen. I wanted to be able to still contribute to my job and life and not be couped up miserable for 3-5 straight days. That being said, I decided to do a taper. Now the first thing I will say about a taper is that there are still MISERABLE withdrawal symptoms associated with a taper. I have gone from my 16-18/ day habit to 6/day in the past 10 days and it feels AMAZING! The first week was MISERABLE, absolute torture, but this past week I actually feel like I am starting to live a normal life....
Seeing as with most people the worst parts of getting off of these is the sleeplessness and restlessness at night, I structure my taper to coincide where I could take my dosage at night so I can still sleep. This was very difficult on my body at first, given as to how I was so used to taking pills all day, every day. While the physical symptoms are bad, its the mental that is much worse. You are so used to taking pills at work, or after lunch, it is basically learning to live you life all over again. All I could think about for about a week is when do I get to take a pill, that was it, I felt the tramadol ruled my world. This passes with time. While getting over this is still primarily on my mind 50-70% of the day, it is getting better. IT GETS BETTER, I promise!!!
The hardest part of tapering is the temptation to take more, without a doubt. But if you want off this thing, 1/2 as much as I do, then tapering is something you CAN do!!! I firmly believe this battle is 95% MENTAL! I think people get the misconception with tapering that you are not supposed to go through any withdrawal, and that is simply NOT the case! The view I take it on it is that everyday is a competiion, and a victory. I only take X amount of pills a day, and I tell myself ahead of time when I can take them. End of discussion. At the end of the day and when you wake up the next morning, you feel a small victory! Liek I said, I've gone from roughly 16 to 18 a day to 6/day in 10 days, which feels AWESOME. That being said, I know there is still a LONG way to go!
I also saw a couple posts about supplements and energy and other things. Before I started cutting down on pills, I would work out 3-5 miles of running and 5-10 miles of biking every day! I definitely don't have that kind of energy now and my legs feel like blocks with no pep in their step! I am taking a multi-vitamin in the morning, along with a multi-mineral (focus on potassium, zinc, and magnesium for the restless symptoms!), 5-htp which i swear have helped my moods! Immodium and just plain advil when needed for aches and pains. If anybody has a solution to the energy issue, PLEASE let me know. I hope this helped somebody out and I pray everybody is doing superb! I am praying for all of you!
@kmchristina: glad to hear you are doing great. This is what my husband takes, a multivitamin for men, 1 5htp and 2 omega 3 fish oil tablets. With that mix he is usually focused, rested and his normal self. Hope that helps and keep up the awesome work!
Hey everyone, this is my first post after reading for a while. I've been on these things for about 6 years, at a high of about 1000mg per day. For the past year I have been at 900mg per day divided into 3 doses (6 x 50mg in the am, 6 around 3pm, 6 around 9pm); I have been considering quitting for a while but I just never did. Then I woke up and said - I'm done. I'm done with carrying these things around and sneaking off to take them. I'm done with panicking if I forget them at home. I'm just done.
I went from 18 per day to 10 per day instantly - today is my 2nd day on 10 per day (200mg around 8am and 300mg around 6;30pm) and I feel pretty darn good surprisingly. I don't really have any major WD symptoms; I've been drowsy and I felt kinda crappy when I first woke up, but nothing unbearable.
I can't lie, I don't know what to expect and I'm kinda scared, but I'm telling myself this stuff is 95% mental. I'm a different person than when I started taking these things, and I'm ready to get rid of this leash.
Anyway I just wanted to post up and I'm going to continue to post for however long it takes. I'm going to try to go down by 50mg per week, but honestly it may have to go faster. So far I'm thinking if I can get down to 200mg per day on a taper then I'll just stop from there and be done with it. Yeah I'll feel awful for a week or two, but like I said it's 95% mental so I'm not going to let myself panic over it.
@daltonrules- you can absolutely kick the habit especially if you stay motivated like you are now. my husband was taking up to 16 the day at the most and he finally quit after I don't know how many times of failing but at least he stuck with it. I agree this pill turns people into straight up A** holes. No feelings, no emotions, no remorse nothing. So glad you are taking the steps to get your life back. Keep up the amazing work. In my husband's opinion and experience even though it scared the hell out of him, the fast taper was his best route, every time he took it slow he'd talk himself into taking more or extending the taper, then hed run out and so on. Best of luck, prayers and if you need any help let me know.
Dalton-Welcome and congrats. Your plan sounds awesome. Read through the old posts; there's so much valuable info. I thought I've read everything but just learned last night that Benadryl is bad for RLS from skimming the posts.
Glad to see everyone is going well. Welcome and congrats Dalton. There are up days and down days ahead (even with a taper), and the down days suck, but its all worth it in the end.
Is there anyway we can get a Recovery Room Part 56 started? There are 300 posts in this thread and it freezes my computer for 15 seconds everytime i hop on to check for new posts. Emily hasn't posed on here in almost a month so I hope she comes on and sees this. Thanks for everything Emily!
Day 32....Days 29-31 were more bad than good. Battling the depression, trying to force myself to be active and live a normal life. Today I am feeling a bit better...hoping the last couple of days were the infamous '30-60-90 day PAWS' that i read about. I also have a lot of personal anxiety, especially financially as i recover from the damage to my wallet that a near-30 pill a day habit did, so I am thinking that it is also playing into the depression/anxiety that I have. Oh well slow and steady wins the race!
I'm in the first week of Round 2. Lots of bathroom trips, sweating, and fatique. I'm actually able to sleep 6-7 hrs. RLS is nil at this point. I did try honey yesterday, 3 tsp at various pts of the day and guess what? I'm a believer! It actually does work, not like drugs of course, but I could feel a boost. I've been doing some type of exercise every day, just gentle walks or yoga. I think it's helping with the sleep. Had a few moments of happy tears. Not much of a crier, but it's nice to appreciate things. I'll be watching football this weekend, so no big exhausting plans. Hope this weekend's games are better than last!
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