Oct 28, 2012
Was it really just a lot on your mind, or was it one thing, one person, her? Why do I feel as if the visit before when I spent so much of it crying, was less painful. I'm here just blocks away, I know she's only blocks away, I know yesterday was her birthday, did you buy her something special? write loving words from your soul that you once wrote me? While I was there to give you the one thing I can provide that she can't, did you ache to kick me out so you could lay her down in our bed, and touch her, love her like you no longer love me? Does she fill the emptiness that you no longer let me in, after so many times I've left it baron when you scrame for me to come back to the special world we once shared, that only belonged to us. Did you not hear me screaming back, I was lost in my dark blackness. I should thank you for forcing me to light my candle without you,but it's only lit because I'm trying to find that special world we inhabited. I can't except that you sold it to someone else, it's my soul, it's your soul, it's our soul. She's not supposed to be here, but then again I wasn't supposed to leave you in there alone. Now you have changed the lock because you have become so scared of the possibility of that emptiness I caused, and after knowing how full that space can be with the two halves of our souls occupying one space, it's even more unbearable when it abandons you. So yes I understand you're complete refusal in wanting to take any chance it could happen again, butyyou also refuse to see that I refuse to take that chance too. Only I want to be whole with you again. Does she make you whole?