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aww fukkkkkkk

Oct 31, 2012 - 0 comments
Tags:

my boyfriend

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Relationships

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Asexuality

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Breakups



i just realized something. when fred's and my one year anniversary hits in december.... fukkkkkk. i'm gonna have to do a lot of pretending to be happy and deal with all his "we've been together for a year, we'll be together FOREVER" sh*t..... fuckkkkkkkk. cuz i'm the one. he's gonna someday convince me to marry him cuz i'm the only girlfriend he'll ever have and we're going to be together forever. well fukk that. he's a great guy and it really makes me sad that i have to tell him dont feel the same way he does, and it's gonna break my heart to tell him that i dont even want a boyfriend ever, to tell him that i'm ace. i don't even think he could comprehend the term 'aromantic'. it'll be best if i wait to tell him... i think.... fukk. well, maybe he'll actually buy me flowers for once between then and now. if i have to have a boyfriend for a few more months, i'd like it to at least feel like i did, rather than just have this lovesick puppy trying to convince me that our futures are not 'his' and 'mine' but rather 'ours' *noise of utter disgust* if it wasn't for that i would be cool with staying with him. i wouldnt dread 'romantic' sh*t like our anniversary. fukk i wish i was single. he just doesnt get it that no, i dont want kids! it's not cuz 'i dont believe in myself'. knowing i'd be a sh*tty parent is besides the point. i dont like being bound to people like that. having kids, or a clingy boyfriends is just.... GAH!. its like... get it offffff. at least we live over 100 miles away from each other.... XP i just wish it was easier. cuz i'm really good friends with his [gay] brother, and i feel like breaking up with my bf will result in me losing them both XPPPP

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