xanax

10 days, no tabs but this xanax stuff is biting my butt

Xanax was my sisters problem.  I know all too well.  I was never into those much cause they made me a *****.   I mean really!  The next day after taking 1 or 2 I would bite someones head totally off.  I have been taking tabs for my back. Had surgery last mth.  But havent had any today and only 2 yesterday.  I have never really been a pill person.  However I was prescribed somas for my pre op surgery and I couldnt have gotten use to those.  Thank God thats over.  5 yrs ago I did have to ask The Good Lord above for some help and he was there every step of the way.  I read my Bible and any Book about Daily Living I could find.   If nothing else but to stay focused on something better God had for me.  My life has been so much better and I thank him every day.  I hope the xanax devil as I call it, leaves you soon.   Good Luck and if you need to talk write me.  

Thanks for the positive input . I,m really nervous about who I am. I`m scared I may not like the person I find at the end of this chapter. I`ts been soooo long since I`ve been me.My first husband was a pharmacutical delivery persone and a thief as well. I was 19 and very nieve, he was controling and abusive. 15yrs wastedbut by that time I was willing to try pretty much anything as long as needles were,t involved. That`s another myth,the means by which the drug is used has nothing to do with addiction,(one of my big reasonings as to why I didn`t have a problem, anotherone was if it was from a dr. it must be o.k.)That excuse went out the window when I had a fling with a biker who belonged to an (outlaw) club,there came my intro to crank. Actually that`snot true my first non pharm. drug was sugar cube acid in the 60`s,that`s how far backthis goes. There were times I didn`t use for fairly long periods of time  3 pregnancy`s, all normal healthy kids but all have had there own battles with drugs,2 are on methadone now

i thought i already posted but it`s probably hiding in some obscure place that no one will see. today sucks legs hurt ,found tabs took 2 so far.grdaughter stopped by with more drama ended up making her leave . she thinks 18 is a magic number,no rules no explanations no helpwith house work won`t even do her own laundry. she knows how to push my buttons oh so well,  so after 30 min of that i told her GO your`e  18 you moved out two weeks ago so just get gone .of coursenow the guilt has set in but i`m not going to put myself out there again i love each and every one of them but i can`t save them all, i`m trying to save myself and it`s not going so great but by gosh im, gonna give it one heck of a fight

i just realized i`m doing my own commenting, do you think i`ll ever get this figured out. i\This sony viois way smarter than i am. i told my husband it was too much computer for us but here it is regardless of the fact that i one finger peck and 99% of this thing is uselessto me. this should be in my journal but this is where it`s gonna stay