Nov 01, 2012
Seeing how this is a medical site I think I need to steer my journal more on the focus of my -medical- condition that I live with. I was born with Autism Syndrome Disorder. It is a mental disorder which has no treatments available at this time. So many people wonder why Autism is climbing at record numbers. I see it as the simple fact that they outlawed the word “retarded” and therefore they have clumped “everyone” who is remotely retarded into the class of Autism. Just because you have a child that does not learn in school and they send them to special education classes; that does not mean that your child is stupid! **Retarded does not mean stupid!!** The true definition of retarded comes from a mechanical origin. It simply means to slow something down. Every time you apply the brakes on your car you make it retarded, because you are retarding (slowing) the acceleration of your car. Your vehicle will still reach it’s top speed with the brakes slightly pressed down, but it will take it longer, thus retarding the vehicle’s accelerating speed; but eventually the momentum of the engine against the transmission will cancel out the brakes entirely if they are only slightly pressed down and the vehicle will reach it’s top speed at a slower rate of acceleration. Please understand that retarded is NOT a bad word at all! This will actually help you understand your mentally handicapped children. Because today I see a lot of people acting out the notion that a child is born disabled and can only learn basics of things they are taught. They stop encouraging growth when the child reaches a certain age. Too many parents give up! But the overall data serves to prove that most Autistic children are slow learners. I argue exceedingly with the notion of giving up on potty-training when a child reaches an older age. I was not fully toilet-trained until age sixteen! It took that long for my brain to develop those skills! However, at that same time I was secretly growing super intelligent in the area of studying human dynamics. A unique talent that I have that enables me to understand social life in the human being like most people cannot even dream of knowing! My Mother never gave up on me and she kept after me on the potty-training and it did come when I was sixteen years old! At the same time I was failing every grade in school except for English, Music, and Art! The school board actually reprimanded my Mother and said very very mean things to her because they thought she did not care about my education enough to teach me at home. Where I grew up there was no Autism. And if you didn’t learn and obey, then you were just lazy, worthless, and most likely you would grow up to be a criminal. People like me were seen as evil waiting to happen. A lazy child was a worthless child.
I also think this is why the syndrome has such a wide variety of levels to it. But if you get back to the basics of life and remember the older centuries you will note that many retarded people were able to live and function within “normal” society. I think this is why Autistic people are able to do so well even though most people think Autism is a curse and a life destroying illness. You note that I said it is a mental disorder. This is because the Autistic brain does not develop emotional constructs during its growth and therefore the Autistic person is unable to process social protocols naturally on their own. However, because of this mental retardation inside the brain I have come to think that the brain uses the resources for other actions instead. Mr. Albert Einstein was seen as an outcast and flunked his studies in school. However, the moment he turned numbers into pictures inside his imagination he found he could instantly “see” numbers inside his imagination! This then allowed him to calculate, not with numeric calculations and algorithms, but with visual imaginations within his mind to “see” super long number quadrants as streaming locomotive trains in which he could actively track, categorize, and calculate just as the conductor would log cargo and keep note of where every item aboard the train was stored!
You see Mr. Einstein failed school because they wanted him to do math with his logics processor alone using complex calculations derived from memory of the quotients and their sums when calculated together. Mr. Einstein could not do that because he was mentally retarded with a super special gift! He did not add or subtract numbers, he “saw” numbers! With the vast imagination inside him he could restructure the numbers as easy as moving freight cars around a locomotive train! He could then *invent* his own quadrants and quotients! So just because you think someone is entirely retarded does not mean they are stupid: most Higher Functioning Autistics only excel in certain areas and no others; take Dr. Temple Grandin for example.
You see I went through the same things as Mr. Einstein. Where I grew up those people were still living by the eighteenth century codes of life! It took meeting my future Wife who believed I was more than a lazy worthless boy to change my inner view of myself. My Wife comes from a broken home and she was always meddling to fix things and so the instant she saw me in high school the hugest failure in the whole world, overstated, she immediately wanted to help me! We spent so much time together with her teaching me how to talk and how to socialize and how to use manors, even how to say “Hello” to someone. From my harsh beginning I was so withdrawn and afraid of people that I would not even talk to them! Well, my future Wife ended up falling in love with me and she taught me how to kiss and hold hands and then she gave me the greatest Gift ever, True Love! She taught me how to unlock my heart and use the dormant emotions inside me that had collected dust my whole life! As it turned out, my emotions were always there the whole time, I just didn’t mentally understand how to use them. I simply needed to be taught how to use them. I was just barely good at expressing my emotions at age eighteen! You see, my future Wife spent three years every afternoon teaching me over and over and over and over. We spent the whole first year rehearsing only the basics, a whole year! But by age twenty I had fully developed my emotions, and so asked that meddling little girl if she would marry me and live together forever! Because she had “fixed” me! My Wife is the most amazing and wonderful person in the whole universe to me! To this day she tries to put her past behind her by “fixing” everything around her; and I love her for that! :)
So you see, my growth and development was very very very slow. That is what retarded means. Please do not be ignorant to the truth and help of that word when used correctly! I did not remain without talking and I don’t still wear diapers. It simply took a slower process for me to develop mentally inside myself to be able to understand how to use the skills and abilities I was born with. My brain was very very very slow to learn how to use its own self! But eventually I did learn all those things and much much much more! I would like to journal, when I can, about that amazing journey which lead me to becoming a high ranked US Military Officer! I have posted my enlistment papers in a picture on here as proof - name withheld -. As a matter of national security and the security of my own family I will *never* tell *anyone* online my name or my location or anything about myself that identifies me publicly. I hope that you respect my wishes and we can still have a wonderful online friendship. Simply call me “Autistic4Life”. Because that is who I am and will always be forever and ever! And I am proud to be Autistic, because Albert Einstein was, Thomas Edison was, and I even see enough proof in the details that King David of the Holy Bible was also! Look extremely closely at how he fails in every area of social situations in his entire life. He is found singing to God in a pasture of sheep, and his own Father does not even acknowledge him as his own son! Read the full account, you’ll see, it’s all there! On top of that, he never understands how to be a Father to his own children, he loses the kingdom several times in fits of civil unrest because he does not understand how to operate effectively in a social manor with others! If you really study the life of King David in the Holy Bible you suddenly realize that here is an ancient account of a man displaying all of the hallmarks of Autism Syndrome Disorder, and yet he rises up to be King over all of Israel! Because he excels at military tactics and strategies, all based upon the principals of pure logic! He is driven not by emotions but pure logic! In his mind there is no one greater than God, so logically Goliath must be destroyed no matter how huge he is; because David is driven by his own internal logics not fear! So read the story again and see the account of a man who lives by his own internal logic and not emotions, and see the account of where it succeeds for him and where it fails for him! Because I use this Bible account to help me see my own life and where I need to work harder to become more emotional and less logical in certain areas of my life. Ultimately my own brain thrives on logic! Ninety-five percent of all of my decisions are logic based. And so is more than half of all the advice I give on this site. I have a massive lack of emotions; yet a unique ability to see all of human society through the eyes of logic, as if looking down at us through a microscope! I can “see” human social dynamic problems and quickly diagnose situations about eighty-five percent of the time.
So I’m going to make a journal on here, as time permits, focusing on the -medical- disorder (as this is a strictly medical content only community, to my understanding thus far) in my life and how I am able to overcome it! Without overstating my personal details I will give you a look into my growth and development and how I was able to become more than *anyone* ever thought I could! How I have overcome Autism Syndrome Disability, and you can too! Free seminar lol, all you have to do is read! :)