Nov 04, 2012
Tonight is a late night and I sit up late with a lot on my mind. Many questions arise on my mind, questions that I want to ask and that I want to find answers to. But the thing about life is there is never truly a simple answer to any question. This continues to show us how dynamic life is. Life is no different than school. School is life because we are always learning. Rather or not if we want to. But yet we always unlearn what we have learned so we can add to our knowledge. We unlearn something we already know everyday because we are always adding something to it that we didn't know before. This is how our true belief in something is formed. But yet isn't this the essence that makes life beautiful? We are able to learn, grow, unlearn, ungrow, relearn, regrow, and the process just continues. We are creatures with the ability and capacity to gain knowledge.
But I've learnt with knowledge comes severe pain. We all come to learn that someday we will die, or we come to learn that life is fragile and that we need to be responsible with how we live it. When we are young innocent children, we are not aware of any of this pain. We run around playing with our friends, or we build a sand castle on the beach with not a worry in the world. Don't you just wish sometimes that you can be innocent again? Be that child again with not a worry in the world? No anxiety problems, freedom from the cares of adult life? I believe we all feel this way because I have. But just as we excel in school, we excel in life and we can't stop it. If you really think about it, with knowledge comes pain, but this pain gives birth to wisdom and freedom.
Without knowledge is now a good question to ask. Where would you be if you did not grow? This is a question that goes very deep. Do you ever feel that there is just that one mistake you seem to make over and over again? You feel as if you just keep making it? I have been there so many times. This mistake can be something that you really don't mean to do, or it can be something that you don't want to stop doing, even known you are aware that it is wrong. To answer the first question, this is why knowledge is painful. If it is something that you know is wrong and you don't want to stop doing it, it will be painful to quit right? But if you never quit doing it, you won't be able to grow. Being stuck in the same place limits freedom and even innocence. Some people never truly enjoy life because they don't grow and stay stuck in the same place. No matter that place for you, think about it. Life is waiting for you to let the weight go. Sometimes in life we have to deal with the pain of loss on something that is hindering us, and if you want to move forward only by letting that go will you find peace and freedom though at first painful.
But doesn't just being alive outweigh it all? Who else in the universe gets to wake up everyday and see a beautiful blue sky with birds flying around and chirping? Or who gets to see a beautiful rainbow when the rain begins to reside and the sun peeks out? God created life to be lived not to be forfeited. And those who give up on life early will miss all the true beauty of it that is left. People who give up early are so valuable to the earth. They have so many gifts and talents to offer. The problem is, the world and anxiety has blinded them from the truth of those gifts and talents. But remember, just because the world judges you based on anxiety doesn't mean anything. They still can't take away the gifts and talents that the creator has given you. Those gifts and talents will always be there. Don't let a world of social chaos try to tell you where to stand, only the creator should be able to do such as this.
Life is the most beautiful gift we are given by God. Living six years with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has opened my eyes to this. Dealing with this for six years has been tough, but I have managed with God's help, therapy, a good support system, great medication, and wonderful mentors. I see the beauty in life now. And others out there I don't want to see them give up or feel that there is no hope, because trust me there is. This hope is within every one of us. And this hope is God.
With knowledge does come peace and freedom. And though at times we may want to be like a child again, we can't stop the classes of life from running and must learn. Though letting go of something that is holding us back may be painful, it does get easier and freedom does come along. People who give up early have many talents and gifts to offer the world, and the world's judgment does not change the gifts that the creator has given them. And living with anxiety can be conquered by God, a good support system, therapy, medication, and good mentors. My encouragement is to see the beauty in life despite what you may be dealing with. Even if turning off the news helps, then do it. Sometimes when I start writing somehow it turns into a lesson. I hope this finds you all well.