Nov 11, 2012
Forewarning that I'm going to be very honest in this post. That being said....
We were able to move back home Friday. I am so relieved and happy. My husband and I just feel so much more relaxed and it's nice to have our own life back. Even our dog seems more content. Before we evacuated we threw everything outside into our garage or our mud room. Everything in the house that was by the windows were just piled onto any table space we could find. So things are a little jumbled right now, but all is safe. We feel very lucky and continue to pray for those who are going to be dealing with "Sandy" in the months to come.
I've been feeling weird the past few days. And by weird I mean I feel nothing. Starting Thursday I haven't been queasy. I haven't needed to pee every 45 minutes. I haven't had that snug stomach feeling. It's been very unsettling. Then Friday morning I woke up with cramps. Dull, annoying, cramps. They felt half like period cramps, half like I needed to use the bathroom. I ignored it and we had homemade pizza Friday night.
As soon as I went to bed, my stomach started rebelling on me. I had severe pain and cramping that did not let up. This time it was definitely a need to use the bathroom, but because I've been feeling constipated, I couldn't. I spent most of the night in the bathroom. I couldn't go for what seemed like hours. Then all of a sudden, I started vomiting. And then I couldn't stop going. This went on all night long. By the morning, I felt awful & still had painful cramps. I became nervous and freaked out when I noticed blood in the toilet (sorry I warned you). I carefully checked myself and saw that it was not vaginal. Which was a relief but I couldn't help but worry about the little baby I'm carrying. I called the IVF emergency hotline. The IVF nurse was very sweet and helped to calm me down.
She said that she felt good knowing I wasn't spotting. She felt that I was constipated as a result of the progesterone and believed the bleeding may be from an internal hemorrhoid. She suggested I start taking Colace and Metamucil daily and suggested Milk of Magnesia since I still had cramps. I did as she said but didn't really feel better yesterday. I was able to sleep through the night but still woke up this morning with cramps. Not as severe, not painful. Just uncomfortable and still with the feeling like "I'm going to need to go". Which I did this afternoon and felt a little better and back to my normal self -- finally.
Although I am so nervous about the pregnancy. With everything I 'haven't' felt and everything that I went through I worry something is wrong. Still no spotting which makes me feel like maybe the fetus stopped living and I haven't miscarried because of the progesterone supplements. Today was my last progesterone supplement and I worry that without it, I'm not going to be pregnant much longer. I have my OB appointment tomorrow at 4pm. I know I'm not going to be productive at work. I'm so scared that she will do a sonogram and not see the heartbeat any longer. Or that I'll start bleeding before I even get to her. I've been nervous before each sonogram appointment but this is the first time that I feel like my health is telling me something. DH asked me yesterday if I thought something was wrong and I said I didn't know. DH can't even come to my appt tomorrow, he's at work all day. I'm trying to stay positive and did a lot of praying at church today. I just want so much for this to be my mind playing tricks on me. Last week's sonogram, hearing the heartbeat, was the first time I really started to get excited about this. Started looking into baby things online. I want this so much. I just don't know what to do.