Yay for me :-) ??

coffee
apple
chicken soup
tuna
crackers

went for a 'walk' too....
but mainly to get some fresh air instead of of thinking about the calories i was burning..
(still thinking but not 100%...)

yay for me.
Put on 2lbs.
Dont know how i feel about that
ate quite a bit last night... it felt like a biinge accept i didnt purge
like i ate bisuits!! ARRRGGG and some ham and chipolata.
wanted to SPEW SOO BADDD....
coz i could feel like my tummy stretching!!
i would have if i could but i was at a friends babysitting
how ashamed i am to say that....
but it was sort of good that i didnt...well couldntt because i didnt
hmm probably doesnt make sense :-)  ??
2 LBS...hmmm...prob water though ive drunk over 1.5 litres

....god i feel sooo bloated though!!

its sat night so im permitting myself some alcohol too.
arrrgggg
like the way it makes me feel though.
and my anxiety isnt as bad usually when i have a drink.
well when i have company and drink
...and i will have company tonight.

bad panic attack last night, like totally flipped out. i was scared
and alone
(when i got home at 1am in the morning from babysitting..)
had to take 2 diaz and a stillnox to get me to calm down..
that didnt work but at least i got a couple of hours sleep

OCD bad. touching is getting beyond stupid. and its tiring.....
but i feel soooo guilty if i dont do it!!

alll i do is feel guily.
i feel guilty for what im doing to myself too
and the thought that im letting people down....
:-(

any suggestions for bloatedness???? besides.....laxatives...

Love to all, sorry im in a rush i will reply your comments tomorrow.
Just wanted u 2 no im still alive.

And i am thinking of you all and so greatful that i happened to stumble across this website.
You are all keeping me going. Specially u Sunset. I will write to you soon ok!!

Hugs,
Pleasehelpme88
xx