Really Having a Hard Time

Nov 29, 2012 - 8 comments

I am really having a hard time this last week.
DB was put on overnights. This means while I work
he sleeps which also means Quinlan cant be home
So we get up at 6:45am, I get her dressed we get a
little snuggle/play time in and she is out the door by 7:30
I work at 8am til 6:15pm, I work 4,10 hour days
So I get Sat, Sun and Tues with her
It wasnt so bad before because DB would pick her up after he got off work late afternoon
or would drop her off before he went to work late afternoon.
Its always been hard for me but it was more tolerable. Now this is only through Xmas that
this has tohappen but I am really really having a hard time with it
I feel like my parents/sister are raising her and this is not what I wanted
I hate that this is the way it needs to be. Its not fair. BUt then life isnt fair
I just wish I didnt have to work. I want to spend time with her
I miss her like crazy and today is really really hard for me..

As I sit at my desk crying typing this my sister sends me a pic. "quinlan says I love you mommy"
Oh it hurts my heart so much...

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by mhv, Nov 29, 2012
Awww.  I wish you could keep her at home with you. : (   I am so glad it is short term though!  Hopefully the days will fly by.  
I love that your sister thought enough to remember how hard it is on you, and is sending pics!!
Don't look at it as they are raising her.... look at it as she is getting to spend precious time with her Aunt and Grandparents.  What a blessing that is for her.

hugs,
Melissa

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by Shannon79, Nov 29, 2012
It does hurt indeed. It does get easier eventually. But for that first while, it's all you can do to try and not break down. I've been there with my first son, and it will happen again with this one.

We are seriously considering me being a SAHM for awhile after my maternity leave is done. Daycare is so expensive, and I'd be working for next to nothing. I still have awhile to think about it, and I'm dreading going back to work already.

I hope it gets better for you. I know it's not easy, but just remember you're doing it to give her everything you can

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by margypops, Nov 29, 2012
no doubt it is hard on children can you cut the hours back a bit so she isnt in care so long ?

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by Mom2boys1980, Nov 29, 2012
It does hurt and like you said life isn't fair!
But look at the bright side-it's not a stranger taking care of your daughter, she's in good hands and looked after with care and love. At least you have a family who can look after her while you're off to work to give your beautiful daughter everything she needs. In my case when I had my kids, I didn't have anyone to look after my kids. I couldn't work because I had to stay home and like Shannon said " daycare is very expensive".  Still today with 2 kids and a baby I still have no help and when I need a favor I see its accepted with obligation and it frustrates me. I've been a SAHM for 8 years and I work evenings. You will feel like this for awhile but remember she's in good hands and looked after with care.

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by hopeitworks, Nov 29, 2012
My work doesnt really offer PT, they worked with me and gave me the 4,10 hr days to give me the extra day with her
I know she is being cared for and its not daycare  because yes daycare is so expensive!!
DB says he would get another job so I can be with her more and do something PT and while the offer sounds great
the reality is 1,. he is in retail mngt another job wont work with his primary job and 2 then he would never see her and i feel that is selfish he says at least one of us would
But again it wouldnt work with his job and i just cant forsee taking his time from her also
I  just needed to cry and let it all out
I just hope it gets easier like you all say, cause right now its straight up *****! :)

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by Risa615, Nov 29, 2012
So sorry Leanne that you are having some feeling that you have to deal with. Sending you hugs. I hope you feel better and that it all works out soon.
Risa

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by krichar, Nov 29, 2012
Aww hun.... I know it's so very hard for you. Remember she is with people that love her and its just for a short time. DB will be done his crazy shifts and things will be back to normal. Maybe see if during this time a couple days a week they can come back to your house for at least 1/2 the time to watch her. Tell them how much this is hurting you and I'm sure they'll try. Chin up, you know I'm always here for you :)

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by Hopefulcb, Nov 30, 2012
I can't imagine! I'm already anxious about sending Chloe to daycare in January - I think though that babies have fun with others (parents, aunts, daycare) so she will be just fine!! I think you and I handle it worse than they are. I will miss Chloe so much but will so look forward to coming home every day!!!

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