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im diagnosed as schizophrenia but i do not feel it...

Nov 29, 2012 - 5 comments
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Schizophrenia



ive seeing stuff and hearing stuff ever since i was like 8yrs old. ive asked my mom about it in my elementry years and she would laugh an say i was oppressed. she was diagnosed as bipolar schizo. althoug hshe dose not take medication for it insted she self medicated (for years) meth. and my father a depressed alchoholic. wich landed us me and my 3 younger sibling in foster care in 04 where i went from home to home and shelter to shelter until i turned 17 and went to job corps where i stayed until i turned 18 and aged out of the system...im prego now and will be 19 in march...and im with my boyfriend...whos mom was parinoid schizo and she refused her meds as well she later died due to her behavior as her downfal she died when he was 5. and i did not see a doctor about my problems insted i kept them to myself due to being younger and talking to other kids and relizing they where not like me and cause of my moms oppressed demon stuff i kept it hidden...but then i meet andrew and he saw what others failed to notice...he said i was like his mom...he recomended me to see someone about it wich i did at 17 they diagnosed me as such...said it was due to genetics and a bad upbrining...i see things and hear things most do not...i practice a wiccan life style and cause of that it was always talked about as normal and gifted but now im not so sure...kinda pulled into reality a bit...but to be honest the more i see the truth for what it is the worse my symptoms have gotten. i do not like the meds i am given and have not been taking them. i fear my baby will be like me with it being in his moms blood and in my mom and then in me as well...im torn between both realitys...and i feel i am not schizo.

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by drifter0213, Nov 29, 2012
i have SZ and so does five other cousins in my mom's side sometimes the journey we take is necessary for a means to an end that will not occur in my own lifetime :)

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by ScarletSorrows, Nov 30, 2012
hummm....thank you for taking the time to read my post.

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by nunyabeezwax, Nov 30, 2012
Aging out of Job Corp would be 24yrs old. It's 16 to 24. Nvrtheless, I was schizophrenic throughout my childhood, teen years and adulthood up to 30. I have never taken meds for it. Mainly because I never realized what it was until I was an adult. The main thing, in coming out of it, was for me was to keep grounded, stop my problematic thought process as soon as I noticed it coming, do lots of different things that were new and interesting to me, vent all this to someone and stay as physically and diet healthy as possible. I have 3 children. 2 of them are fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. My youngest, the girl twin, is the only one that has experienced schizophrenia. She was able to notice it in her teens, then I noticed it by reading her MySpace page (this was several years ago). I shared my experience with her and let her know that there is a smorgasbord of friends, family and outside resources available to her, if she felt she ever needed them. As well as, let her know that she is never alone and that it will be ok.

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by ScarletSorrows, Dec 02, 2012
i ment aging out of dhs at 18. wich is also when i graduated job corps. (sorry). did you ever relize you where not like the rest around you? and did you then relize what was and what wasnt? thats good im glad that you where able to understand and reasure her...its scary. is it normaly passed down? im just worried my baby will have it. and that as i get older i will go away and not be able to be there for my child.

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by Nighthawk61, Dec 06, 2012
First thing you need is a supportive relationship. My husband suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, but since we've been together, and he is loved and supported he lives a normal life. You can too, once you get rid of your going nowhere relationship. Please know that you can have a good life, and you will be fruitful if you do the work. You need a happy, stress free environment, is all. I'm here for you should you wish to talk honey. I know you're young and it's scary to think of going to a women's shelter, since going through the dhs system, but you'll be okay. The sooner you start to change the environment the sooner you'll be well. You've said that your environment contributed to your condition, so make sure you do the work to put your child into a great home, with a great step dad. You will find ALOT of self love if you do this. I promise, you will feel loved and find peace and happiness. You have to fight for it NOW. God Speed. Find a shelter and go for it. Think about college or university. It helps to get your BA, it opens many doors. My son is going overseas to teach English as a Second Language. He loves to travel. You can do anything you put your mind to sweetheart. Be proud and move forward. Your best life awaits you. Get tough, it's not an option to hurt yourself intentionally by taking any more abuse. Onward and Upward, for you , for your child. You will never be alone again. Your child will be your biggest fan, if you do the right thing. Thank you so much for your journal. Keep talking, keep listening. You'll be fine.

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