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The DREADED doctors apointment.

Mar 11, 2008 - 1 comments
Tags:

self harm

,

scar

,

Panic

,

food

,

Nutrition

,

complex

,

confused

,

Panic attacks

,

eating disorder

,

sick

,

psychiatrist

,

Anxiety

,

Mental Health



yes for those who are wondering
how the doctors went
and
what i told her
.... the truth??
most of it
sorrttt of.

Um except about the self harm.
Told her i was due for a tetanus vacc though so got one of them
she didnt suspect anything.

Um about the food thing...
when she said
"how do you feel about it? like what do you mean?"
i was lost for words.
like i really didnt know what to say!!
i tried to explain that it was complex
like it wasnt a weight thing it was more of a control thing
or depriving myself of stuff i like...
but i didnt want to be skinny sick looking..
but there is this voice in my head that tells me a shouldnt have it
(food)
and that i freak out if i eat food that doesnt have the nutrition values on it
coz i like to know.
but yeah....

had a MINOR panic attack while telling her this
is just like a wanted to blurt everything out
but i didnt know how to word it
and when she asked how i felt
well...
i dont know how i feel really.
confused....

like i love food
but hate it so much.

I got numbers of 4 phychs.
she gave me that many because she said there could be a waiting list
and she didnt want me to wait.
that mean she thinks im a nut case right....??

so over all it was ok i guess.
um..
has anyone ever heard of:
mederma
dermatix
the make scars smaller apparently.
anyone tried anything like this or have any other suggestions??

Love
2
u
all
xxxx









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436973_tn?1217950689
by marissposa, Mar 11, 2008
I don't think she thinks you're  a nut case, just going through a rough patch. and why wait to get help, when now is when you need it.

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