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devo

Dec 12, 2012 - 8 comments

my computer is sick.  i keep getting all these weird pop ups like more and more.  not good.

i like the comments ty a lot.  i like getting comments.

its a beautiful day here.  overcast and dark and clear and crisp.  its cold though.  i really need someone to help me procure a coat.  for some reason i have this fear of calling the clothes company that took our stuff like 'can you please deliver my coat only to ..' idk i just have this huge emotional block against doing it.  i dont want to talk to them.  like my house burned downed i live at.  i will live there for a only a little longer idk i have all this emotion wrapped up in it.  in the meantime im freezing my a$$ off ...  _and_ feeling sorry for myself.  i was walking to my car from therapy last nite and like trying to think of how the Ethiopian children felt.  but they're too hot right?  idk

turns out that guy with the ugh the name is the GOVernor of MI  ... well ok.

i am having mega trouble concentrating.  no not meega.  mega.  i mean.  its just so hard and i think the kids know my spirit is not with them.  thats why i feel guilty getting mad at them.  but still.  its hard.

i know it is hard for ppl to understand, esp since i ben unhappy for so long.  but i am not heartless and not feelingless.  i mean um ... and the day you get those papers final it is like a death that was las nite and everyone just like 'hey let's go have a bite to eat' or 'lets watch leave it to beaver'  oh dear i just i dont im not mad atcha its just hard to connect i feel lost i feel like a alien or a zombie!!! in addition to being really down and depress.  but i dont feel like using.

i can't concentrate on anything.  did i say that.

its morning.  mornings are hard.

so maybe i feel all bran new in the afternoon yay?

i feel like i am being pelted with rocks and just all time sadness

everything changed after Kurt died.  everything.  most of my hope was gone.

but its back.  it is just severely impacted right now

i am a sad puppet right now.  sad puppet sad Meegy.

nope nope nope.  not today Meegy I won't do it.

anyway.

can you lend me your coat?

love,

Meegy






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by aheart, Dec 12, 2012
Sometimes we have to get out there and make our own destiny happen. I donnot mean to minimize anything only wanted you to know that your are strong enough to do it. I mean look, your doing this AND just getting clean which is not easy all by itself! So Miss Meegy I think your doing an awesome job with it, going to meetings, staying clean. Go to Good will and talk to someone off to the side, tell one of the women that you need a coat but don't have any money right now and I'll bettcha she will fix you up. Either that or this world is alot colder than I knew it was. I can't believe those dry cleaners aren't finished with your clothes yet? wow. What's going on they could have made 200 coats by now! I'm sorry your cold hon! Are you signed up for a holiday meal? If you are not maybe it isn't too late. Call the bigger churches. Sometimes they will help out with some work hunting cash too. Or gas.

I'm real tired of being on predisone but it is making me get stronger. I hope you get lucky today Meegy. Love, darla♥

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by aheart, Dec 12, 2012
Oh install a free firewall on your computer that's what it needs to get rid of the pop-ups.:P

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by margypops, Dec 12, 2012
Have you been to any of the consignment stores coats are cheapish ...Salvation Army is a good one and they care ..Sorry you areg oing through a bad time ..

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by meegWpaw, Dec 12, 2012
i love you darla and ty margy i am feeling better just reading your comments.  ty both.  {{{darla & margy}}}

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by margypops, Dec 12, 2012
come and have a chat anytime you want to I am usually hanging out somewhere..

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by meegWpaw, Dec 12, 2012
ok thanks margy!!!!  gah i feel better.  idk why i never thought of going to the sally for a coat.  a duh.  ty both again  mp

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by nursegirl6572, Dec 12, 2012
Your house burned down?  Oh my goodness.  Am I reading that right?  I'm going to send you a PM about the coat, okay.

Prayers for you.

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by cleaninitup, Dec 12, 2012
Big hugs coming your way! You can get thru this .

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