Firefaery1023's Profile
Mood:
Firefaery1023 is
really ANXIOUS!!
About Me:
Female, 27, NY, member since Feb 2008
I have been addicted vicodin for at least 3 years now and have stopped a few times but always seem to relapse because I don't want to feel the pain of my life. I just keep trying though and eventually it will stick because I don't want my son to end up like me.
Interests:
I feel as if I am having an emotional break down!!! Help Me!!
Mar 11, 2008 11:48AM
- 2 comments
I know that all my journal entries sound the same and have a similar theme but I feel as if I am drowning in my emotions. I feel guilty and sorry for everything. Part of me wants to turn back time and make things different but this happened for a reason, so that I could learn from this and move on. Of course it is a struggle and it is a f***ing tough one. Somedays are more challenging than other. Yesterday and today seem really bad, I would rather be having the withdrawals symptoms than this depression feeling. It doesn't help that last night I didn't get a minute of sleep. My left side of my face is throbbing because I either have a sinus infection or a cavity that is infected. That is what the dr in ER told me when I was there at 3:30 AM because I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I had TMJ and they would give me a muscle relaxers and I would feel better. No such luck, I have Amoxicillian and you all know how long that takes to kick in. I really want to curl up in bed and not get out but I have responsibilities. Number 1 to my son, number 2 to my job. I just am having a really hard day and wondering when things will start looking up again. WHEN?? Please help me, I am tired of feeling like this and I don't want to go back to feeling nothing either.
Dear Firefaery, I kicked a drug habit that lasted 18 years. IV cocain, crack and alcohol, etc. I haven't read any of your other posts, but you they all sound the same.
Things will start looking up for you when you kick your habit. Do you have a way to get into detox? Then if you really want to succeed, you need one on one and group therapy.
Your will find out that people will start to take notice when they see you attempting to help yourself.
Things will start looking up for you when you kick your habit. Do you have a way to get into detox? Then if you really want to succeed, you need one on one and group therapy.
Your will find out that people will start to take notice when they see you attempting to help yourself.
Hang in there and don't give up. I think we all go through these things up and down up and down. Addiction and kickin it is a
b tch and not an easy thing to live through. I feel the same and do not like to keep seeing all the pessimistic posts I seem to put up and the fact when we give in for " Just one or two well okay just five or six'" then it is so on and so on well for me it is that way I don't know if you do the same. Then it is guilt and more depression etc. WHat a cyle we go through!! Yes? I wanna be better as you do too. Hang in there..
b tch and not an easy thing to live through. I feel the same and do not like to keep seeing all the pessimistic posts I seem to put up and the fact when we give in for " Just one or two well okay just five or six'" then it is so on and so on well for me it is that way I don't know if you do the same. Then it is guilt and more depression etc. WHat a cyle we go through!! Yes? I wanna be better as you do too. Hang in there..
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