This is starting to suck

I'm sorry that you feel so badly.  Have you tried liquid zeolites?  They really make a difference in your health and how you feel!

Hi Jan.. I hope this list may help you.. I hope you feel better soon.  And yes I know the feeling.............

For nausea:

Ondansetron (Zofran®) 8mg-16mg (They come in 4, 8 and 16mg tabs. You might need 16-32mg.

Granisetron (Kytril®) 1mg tabs





Aprepitant (Emend®) is new, and is used to prevent (not treat) nausea. Studies show it to be very effective especially when used in combination with the two drugs above and decadron (dexamethasone)..

Palonosetron (Aloxi®) this is fairly new and only available IV, but it is the ONLY long-acting drug on the market—good for up to 5 days after administratio

Jan,

I understand completely. I feel what you feel and I know that nothing I say can make you feel better.  I wish I did have something to say that would help. I felt sad for that girl posting this morning, too. In this past week what did the most for my spirits was a little note from Fran. She told me to have a nice Tuesday. She really perked me up with that gesture of caring.  I care about you and everyone dealing with this. Marie

Jan,

Pls hang on there.

I can never understand totally as a bystander but it totally breaks my heart to read your journal as it reminds how both my parents fought against cancer.

I would praying for you to get better.

Jan,
  I also completely understand, and I too have felt bad about not being here as much. Though they got my BP pretty stabilized, I have still been feeling really crappy. Well I found out this morning that a lt of BP meds make you weak and very tired. So that explains why I have felt the way I do.
I too pray for those of you who have not been dx, that you never are.
Even though you are not on eveyday Jan, (and neither am I) doesn't mean that I don't think about you. I just wish that they could get us all on some kind of straight and narrow path. The cancer dx in itself is bad enough, but to have all of this other stuff on top of it.........

Please take care and concentrate on yourself right now.
    Love Chris

Sandir

Take your own d*mn zeolites and give them to all of your buddies.  When you all keel over from deliberately ingesting poison you can rot in H*ll for pushing that garbage on naive, desperate people.  I was just going to delete your post but on the off chance that you come back here maybe you will read this and whatever small part of you is still human will have a guilt attack and see the light.  Probably not though, most snakes like to hide under rocks and never see the light of day.

= (   Jan, I hate to read this.  I'm sorry you have been so sick.  You're right, I don't know what you're going through.  I know that I care very much that my friend is sick and questioning her quality of life.  I can say I'm sorry till I'm blue in the face.  What I'd really like to do is take it all away from you, from all of you.  I think I've spoken to all of you here at one time or another.  I know you can't possibly know this but I DO think about you every day.  I've been wrapped up in my own cr*p lately.  I know, I know...I have a right to worry, you told me that but, today, my worry isn't about how many days I have left.  I hate what this f-ing disease does to you.  OK, now I'm ranting.  Sorry.

You all are in my thoughts and prayers!
Love, Lori  

Thank all of you for your support and understanding.  I am sorry so many of you do understand.  I wish you didn't.  I do hope all of you get feeling better and that the spring that is just around the corner will perk us all up.

I will take the advice on the Emend.  I have been meaning to ask my onc about that.  Right now I have zofran in reg pills and dissolvable, i have phenergan suppositories and pills, and I have something else that never worked so I didn't use it.  

It just seems that getting rid of the chemo is just as hard as getting it.  I know that is what this is, all the other signs are there.  Do any of you go through weird stuff when your body is flushing this out?  I get really sick and so tired there isn't a kind of tired to compare it to, my scalp gets really tender, (onc says that is the Gemzar) the bone aches are 100 times worse and I pee stuff that should be put in a lead box and buried with the nuclear stuff in Oak Ridge.  It usually only lasts about a week, but it has lasted almost three this time.  I usually can tell when it is going away by the, how shall I put it, by the lack of noxious odors when I pee, but that is not happening yet so it will be at least a week from the time I notice a difference to the time I feel better so....  I really would like to know if you all experience chemo like symptoms when they are leaving your system.  This has been the weirdest experience of this whole thing.  Nobody warned me about this, but it has been happening since my first carbo/taxol in 2006 and the only thing that has changed is that got progressively worse with the Gemzar.  It seemed to stay the same with all of the carbo/taxols.  It lasted about a week than and stayed that way for every chemo.

Hi Jan,
  I'm new here.Here in Canada they give us zofran I know it comes in different doses are you on the higher one?
I'm on carbo/taxol before i shart my chemo they give me zofrin by IV,maybe i'ts better and stronger.
Hope you feel better,
Rebecca

For Jan and all my friends, I have been sitting here for hours, searching for words to answer you correctly.  There are many flowery words of hope and courage,  not what I am looking for right now. Words to ease the pain, are not enough. There are many things that cause us pain, some can be healed, others can't.  With the pains that can't be healed, how do we deal with them?  Share them?  Keep them to ourselves?  Hit back, with all our energy at them?  Understand  what is causing them?  Pray to God to take them away?  Put them on a shelf and deal with them tomorrow?  Face them and cry out in hurt?   I am one person  in this world, and  many more people  are worse off than me,  I was given this time  to live, and this small place to live in.  What I do with it is my decision.  The pain I feel for others, that I cannot help, is deep inside me,  That pain is alleviated when I read words of healing, the pain deepens when I read words of despire and hopelessness.  I too understand and want you all to know, you are never alone, because as long as someone is thinking about you, and is sharing those thoughts with you, ypu are not alone.  I said once, early on in joining this forum , that I would gladly trade places with my daughter,  I would do this also for each and every one of you,  I have lived a long life and to shorten it, for a friend, would be OK.   Since I cannot do this, I can only just be here to listen to you and tell you that each breath you draw is a precious gift.

You'll Never Walk Alone

When you walk through a storm

hold your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of a storm is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,

Walk on through the rain,

Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone,

You'll never, ever walk alone.


Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone,

You'll never, ever walk alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love Marty

Hi Jan,


Although I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through, I KNOW that with all my heart that you are a woman of Amazing strength and wisdom.  
You have taken the time to reassure me and many others and give me your knowledge and support and I am so grateful.
So because you have this great strength, you will fight this '*******' that totally does 'suck'.  
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kim

Hi Jan,

I guess I'm late on writing in your journal - yep, that's me :-)

No I can't imagine what you are going through, but I am trying to understand about this horrible disease. Actually, it breaks my heart to read when someone isn't feeling well. It really and truly makes me sad. From reading some of your posts I can tell you are a strong woman :-) I hope today you are feeling much better and you can enjoy the nice weather :-)

Your in my thoughts and prayers - take care

Kathy

Oh Jan,

When one of us is sick, we all cry for her.  So, we're all crying for you now. You're right.  This s*cks.

My docs worked very hard so that I wouldn't be so sick.  Along with all the regular stuff, I got Aloxi IV during chemo.  4 days later, they'd have me come back in and give me another IV Aloxi treatment, because I kept getting sick on day 5, when it would wear off.  Boy, It did the job for me.

For strength, I took L-Glutamine on the first 3 days of chemo, like it says on the net.  It's a natural amino acid (a protein) which the body manufactures anyway.  It apparently is killed by chemo. I still take it at times, and it makes me feel stronger.

The chemo left me in stages, which I was very aware of, too.  Just like you.

Here's a hug. {{{{{{{{{{  }}}}}}}}}}}
Survivor Susie

Well, I had a very long post and when I posted it I got the "we are working on updates" thing and it didn't post.  Well shoot.  Okay, long story short.  I feel much better and I appreciate all of your support.

Marty, I don't know what to say.  I realize it is hard for some people to read the less positive posts and journals because I know it is upseting.  It is hard to keep a positive attitude when people around you are bummed, but sometimes that is the way the day, week or month shapes up and sometimes we just need to vent that.  Although I would never want to separate the forum, sometimes I do wish there was someplace just for the patients and a place for the caregivers.  I used to go to Gilda's Club quite a bit, but now I don't with the way things have been, but the point of that is that the only time they separate the sick people from the families is during support time.  There are groups just for patients and groups just for caregivers.  I know as caregivers there are MANY things you do not voice out loud, just as Cory doesn't.  Likewise, there are things I don't say to him because I don't want him to worry.  So having that separate time to vent is helpful, which is the ONLY reason I say that about the forum.  There are just things I don't want to burden the caregivers with and I know there are things that the caregivers don't want to burden us with.  I don't know what the answer is, but i don't want to write anything that is going to bring down your positive attitude I know you try so hard to keep.  I am sorry.  I will write you and tell you if I have written something you should not read.  I reallly hadn't thought about how selfish I was being; I was just hurting a lot that day and wrote that thinking I would just get it off my chest but that no one would really read it.  That's what I get for thinking.  LOL

ALL:  I am doing much better and have actually gone out of the house for a short time each day over the last 3 days.  I am exhaustef from all that activity, but it was wonderful. Cory and I went to the grocery store, and did some other shopping.  I went to meet Gail (gah_70) for dinner last night and I enjoyed it very much.  She is very sweet and kind hearted.  She has very pretty, expressive eyes, and a warm smile.  She is exceptionally smart, although she might say differently right now as chemo brain has hit her also.  I also met her husband who is very nice, very polite and until today, I thought his name was some thing else than what it is.  Someone else said to me, "so, did you get to meet XYZ"  but I had thought his name was "abc".  He does have an accent though, so.... Well, now I know.
I do thank you all for your concern.  I know even in my darkest moments that I will feel better eventually, but sometimes eventually seems more like NEVER.  

Jan  I don't want to be separate from you, what I have learned from you that are facing OVCA, cannot be replaced by talking to doctors, doing research or any amount of TV, magazines, books and so forth. You have been my Hope and lifeline. Jan, at my age I have seen good and bad times.  One of the worst days of my life was sitting in the waiting room waiting for them to do the surgery on Leslee, scared??  yes. Hopeful, not much.  I knew too much.  It hurt like hell to listen to the doctor when he finally came out and talked to us.  When I finally found this forum I grabbed on like a woman drowning.  I cannot offer anything but useless words of Hope and comfort to you.  I hear your pain and suffering, yours is physical, mine is mental.  If I come across wrong in some of my posts, I am truly sorry, written or spoken words cannot be taken back once uttered.  Do not shut out any of the caring people around you, Love hurts when it is put in danger. The children, husbands, mothers , fathers, loving  friends and the real people suffering from this damn disease,  come here to seek several things,   help,  release from fear, encouragement,  a sharing of experiences,  friendship.  You did not hurt me in any way with your venting, I can only say, I understand.  You may not believe me when I tell you that,  but it is the truth.  When I answer a post on the forum and end it with the words, We care, I know that to be true.  Any illness makes life more difficult, and to have it hammered into you 24/7 causes changes in anyone, you do not need to apologize to me nor anyone for feeling the way you do.  The one thing that keeps me going daily is the fervent hope that science will find the answers we all need and soon.   Yes, I keep some of my thoughts from Leslee, but I do share with her, so many things from you all. When I say I pray for all, I really do, nightly.  I ask God to lay His healing hands on Leslee and you, I exclude no one.  Marty