Dec 28, 2012
Every year as this time approaches I begin to write down my New Years Resolutions. Typically they revolve around health or wealth...that is the truth. I usually find myself resolving to find ways to increase my income, to work out more (how many times have I taken out a gym membership not to be used past February) or to focus my time and energy on various perceived faults.
This year seems to be different. Perhaps it's the fact that I am approaching my mid 40's, or that maybe I finally feel pretty good about myself (not to be confused with me thinking I am in any way, shape or form anywhere near perfection - like all of us I am a work in progress). This year I find myself reflecting more on where my life is today and all the wonderful things I have.
I am not wealthy or famous. I am not what anyone would consider a raving beauty. All things that so many of us (myself included) have strived for. I do not have a perfect body and I am not a genius. My name will probably not appear in any history books (except my family history). It's unlikely I will ever write a best selling novel or win a Nobel Peace Prize. What I am however, is happy. I can truly say I am honestly and genuinely happy.
I am loved and I know what it is to love. My childhood was most definately what most would consider disfunctional. However, my parents, with all of their faults and all of our ups and downs always loved me, and I them. And still do. I am married to a man that both respects me and loves me and it is the same for me - I love him and respect him with all my heart. My relationship is built on trust and commitment and I know this is forever. I am a mother - the greatest love of all. I have no words to describe it, it just is. I have wonderful friends I can count on and whom I hope know can count on me.
I love my job - I truly do. It will never make me wealthy and it can be incredibly stressful. But I know that everyday I make a difference, however small, in someones life. That is worth more then money.
Many who aspire to what they consider greater things would consider my life mundane and without excitement. It's not for everyone. I haven't conquered Everest (and know I never will), but I have achieved what so many strive for and may never find - contentment and genuine happiness. Those who will never find it is because they are looking in all the wrong places - they are looking for more instead of appreciating that which they have. They are looking for it through external sources as opposed to what is inside. Somehow, I got lucky, and I know it. My very life is a gift, and my New Years Resolution this year is to make sure I never ever forget to appreciate it and all the beauty that surrounds me. Perfection? No. But perfect for me? Absolutely. My tombstone (hopefully a long long way off..lol) won't read of any great achievement, but it will say "she was happy". Perhaps that is the greatest achievement of all.
Happy New Year everyone, and may your world be filled with happiness and peace.