Dec 30, 2012
i feel slightly hellish. i've been trying to stay out the house, but u know mh when i am back here and just tryin to chillax i get depressed and offish. i mean. its so hard being here. i can hear him snoring loudly in the next room and i really want to kill him. can i say that? oh yeah i just cant say anything about the president. right? well i dont care i want to kill him. my hub that is. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh lor that is beyond uncharitable. thats a good screen name. is that mean? i didnt mean it that way but more sort of as like a tribute? um.
meegy! stop it!
my weekend has been, well, totally very. i mean. which day was the huge depression? thursday? i think. yeah then Friday i was all back in the saddle again ... and then yest was the same or worser. cuz i started to do research and found out some stuff and i was just killed dead like .. you know. i couldnt like to move i was just .. putty but not the silly kind the sad kind. sad putty meegy. very very much so.
its all aite but not good. u know my friends standing me in good stead. takin care o me. real good. but still it hard hard x for meegykins. yessirreebob. b.o.b. like outkast yeh yay! their music has a certain energy i must begrudingly admit.
no, i did not google that weird rapper yet.
i did download kendrick (f*ckin prob), and um ... that good ... (did you know its not 'that good fix' .. no its that good d*ck ... oh, my! shocking!), and um this kroq song thats totally dope its called um ... they're not going to degrade us? i think. its bomb, and one more rap song ... what was it ... oh yeah problem like what. ooh dopish all!
after i download the musik i go in my studio tho its cole and i danced. i danced five songs i think. it was good and i felt good doing it.
i walked on the beach with my fren in sta mon that was cole too but nis
saturday i went to a meeting i goto a lot i hang out with all the old guys. oops!!!! did i say that!!! im sorry man! i meant the old-er guys. like, old-er. like, not 20. you know? oh gosh i aredy said it i cant take it back!!! lol but um yeah i hang out with these guys i known them for soooooooooo long like when i first try to get clean in like 1920? yes then. and uh .. they remembers me. and so i sit with them and they all have like a millin years clean they makes all kinds of jokes when ppl share and its very funi. i think it is doing a lot for my recovery ha ha .. but serisless everyone there very supportive of me and that is well nis.
oh yeah i almost forgot to tell you i ran into my heroin connection at the meeting Sat!!! yeah!!!! so effin rot cuz you know i was so depress that day i was THINKIN a driving over to his hous and. then i saw him there i was like NFW. no f*ckin way. yes way!!!! like that. i talked to him he was outside on the break i couldnt avoid it and then he was all im on my first day clean yeah i heard that from him before but i was rel nis and he go how long you have i sed 99 and he all hug me like hey you doing good and we aint talk about heroin and he was all ok and then later i just said bye . i thought my fren was going to kill him. like 187 here dude
and .. um. what else
i hate it here. i hate it here. also, i hate it here. i . cannot ... wait. to .. get. my . own . place
i still dig Tyga
good evening medhelp
please wear a scarf. its cold!!!!