Feeling overwhelmed and like I want to take 2-3 months off from thinking about TTC (or even saving money for DE). This whole thing has been an obsession for me for almost 4 years. I will turn 45 in one month. But I think I just don't have it in me right now and need a break. We work so hard for our money and I spend all of it on supplements, doctors, etc. I just want to do fun things with it for a while. (buy myself a keyboard, take voice lessons, get new headshots and start auditioning again, etc.) Music was the most important thing in my life for a very long time and now it is nonexistent. I just need to have more joy in my life and my DH deserves that too. The poor guy had hardly any clothes until recently.
I just feel like, even though having a baby is the most important thing in the world to me, I need to prioritize better for the sake of our sanity and our marriage. We're not having problems or anything, but I figure we should start to think about this kind of thing before we do. He's been amazing. He wants a baby as much as I do. He has been patient with me on the roller coaster with my health. He has happily let me spend all of our money on supps, doctors, acu, hypnotherapy, and so on. I just really need a break. At 45 and with a 95% chance we'll need to use DE, does it really make a difference if we wait a few months?