IN DENIAL?

To whomever wishes to read here:

Today I'm making one last effort at learning about whether I have a CHANCE at healing, at feeling even CLOSE to normal again before I give up. I have been to so many doctors, (now out of cash, out of money since I can no longer work, and close to being out of hope) who have done me NOTHING but damage. I left Rome in 93 to come here and VISIT a friend for 3 months... I had a very good life in Europe, healthy due to some pretty sharp docs who had a lot to deal with in my case. I'd had too many surgeries, a needless hysterectomy the most recent and had survived TWO surgical mistakes causing me to end up on the critical list for PERITONITIS. My doc told me in 93... "WHATEVER you do, liu, do NOT see a doctor there. You cannot afford another abdominal surgery and things have changed there since you left in 70. (I lived and worked in Rome for 23 years) and I'd hate that all we've done to get you to feel and look so good should be ruined"..... A belly ache, a sonargram, a doc who told me (SCARE TACTICS HERE) "it looks like cancer" and a hurried EXPLORATORY..... Before I entered the hospital, I insisted on signing a statement that I REFUSED A LAPAROSCOPY (surgery thru a camera after filling the abdomen with gas). Long story short... I was told to expect no more than 48 hours in hospital. I WAS IN SEVERAL HOSPITALS FOR ALMOST 5 MONTHS, I suffered a PERFORATED ILEUM, A TEMPORARY ILEOSTOMY, ALSO NEEDED REHAB TO WALK AGAIN). All of this to the tune of every single cent I had and... worse... the LIFE I had. I was 48 at the time and looked 35, happy and very very alert. Since then a myriad of problems and NO ANSWERS, no apologies, no possibility to sue (unless, of course, I died. IN THAT CASE MY SON WOULD NOW BE A MILLIONAIRE).
Beginning in 1998 I complained to my PRIMARY CARE PERSON *(I love this phrase here....) of weakness etc and muscle LOSS. ANSWER? I give you all one guess. THAT IS RIGHT! DEPRESSION> I was put on every drug known only to be sicker and sicker. Only thanks to a smart nurse in an ER who ran some blood work, did I find out I had Grave's. I began complaining also about my eyes NOT BEING ABLE TO FOCUS THEM TOGETHER and I was told after being able to read a CHART... Your eyes are FINE. I was put on PTU only SIX MONTHS after this blood work (do not have to room here for why) and did very well. I had gone down to 102 lbs and on the Propylthiuracil I gained and felt constant improvement. My doc said I still needed a "SCAN"... not to worry, very low dose radiation. Why? Because "you cannot remain on PTU all of your life. (A LIE.... I googled all of this and some people remain on it forever and do very well. THERE ARE EVEN REMISSIONS!!! AM I ANGRY? YOU BET!) After the scan I'm given the royal treatment and told the next day to please wait as the head honcho of the radiation dept needed to see me..... I'm told "You need RAI immediately or risk a stroke." My BP was ALWAYS LOW/NORMAL and even my primary said to this "YOU? A STROKE? But since she could not say he was WRONG (God forbid) I was given the referral and I swallowed TWO little pills and told I was given a slightly higher than normal dose of Radioactive Iodine. I AM STILL UNABLE TO RETRIEVE THE EXACT INFO ON THIS..... and I thought it was my RIGHT to get all MY MEDICAL INFO?! I IMMEDIATELY became HYPO (the opposite of Grave's which is HYPER) THYROID and my eyes? I am, in my opinion, 75% blind now and I look like a double cyclops. Those who have T.E.D. know of this and the pain and the watering and the stares from people... I researched R.A.I. the moment I had it done... TOO LATE. RAI is totally contraindicated to those Grave's patients with eye complaints.
It is over two years and I'm now unable to get out of bed except to sit HERE for typing (typing was a large part of my work in Europe) or to go to the bathroom. I can no longer cook, clean myself or my house, drive, work.... I am given 800 dollars a month and told TO LIVE ON IT. This is what I came back to? My son has NO INSURANCE and therefore no doctor.
For those of you who have no idea of the following.... In Europe we have what is called SOCIALIZED MEDICINE. The word Socialized is, to the American psyche, tantamount to the word COMMUNISM but BOTH are misunderstood and purposefully so. What does it mean? It means that we pay NOTHING FOR DOCS, NOTHING FOR MEDS, and for those with what I have now (incurable autoimmune diseases) you do not pay for ANY SPECIAL CARE YOU NEED.... BTW, this goes for those who find themselves in parts of Europe on holiday... you get sick? You are charged nothing for treatment you are NOT DENIED. Anyone KNOW THIS? The care in this country is SHAMEFUL... I am thoroughly ashamed and hurt that I came back here to Lose my life as I knew it. I am now very close to an end and if there were a chance of my recovering a fraction of myhealth, I would spend every second I could INFORMING PEOPLE... "A WORD TO THE WISE IS SUFFICIENT" I wonder how many wise will read this. ... I also have sluggish adrenals and my doc says WHAT IS THAT? So I ask... how about you refer me to a good endo? Response.... "They couldn't help you, as a matter of fact, I don't know of ANY WESTERN doctor who could really help you." So what do I do? Go back to Rome and live in the street? I am born here, my father fought for this country and died here and this is what I get? "YES! WE HAVE NO BANANAS"
So I have come here and will ask questions and see just how much "help" I can get. We are told NEVER TO SELF MEDICATE..... HELLO???! SOME of us are without other RECOURSE. I will make another entry according to how much I learn.... if anything, as I have researched for over a year now and can no longer retain much (HYPO SLOWS EVERYTHING DOWN.... EVENTUALLY CAN CAUSE COMA AND DEATH). If I am treated with respect and intelligence I will return to this and see how much I can share in the hope of helping others.