Book or suggestions...

Jan 14, 2013 - 5 comments

Hello All- As many of you who see my profile and notice. Quinlan is soon to be 1. WIth this big Birthday comes changes in her growing and learning.
DB seems to think every "bad" thing she does has been taught to her he has the kids dont just do these things attitude.
For example: you remove her from a potential dangerous situation if you pick her up she kicks her feet, wiggles and tries to get down

You can be playing,interacting and she doesnt like what you said or a noise you made, and she will swat at you withher lip out like hey, to me this is normal behavoir in a childs development and we as her parents just need to correct her and teach her its not nice and not to do these things


So I was wondering if there are any books or anyone has any wise words for me in how I can explain this to DB
He wants to blame this on someone
anf I feel its normal or maybe Im the one who needs to read LOL
Thanks Ladies

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by adgal, Jan 14, 2013
I have two suggestions for you.  1 is age appropriate discipline and I use it.  It really really works. It's called Love and Logic.  The other book is called The Happiest Toddler on the Block.  I'd have to go hunting to get you the names of who wrote them (I have them both around somewhere), but they are both really good.  They both talk about how behaviors are normal development, and sort of when to correct and when to let it go?  I am big on correcting the swatting, but it is normal behavior.  I wish I had read Love & Logic when Ryder was 1 instead of when he was 2 1/2.  It's fabulous!

As for explaining to DB....if DH is questioning whether something is normal or not, I just get him to tag along on a well baby check or Pediatrician appointment.  He is soon reassured.  

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by hopeitworks, Jan 14, 2013
@ adgal as I wrote this I knew you would be the one to have a suggestion. I just said to DB you need to come to her 1yr appt with me and he happens to be off that week as well. So I have suggested that already :)

I will definately look for those books I can go to barnes and noble or google it no need to search around for them!!!

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by krichar, Jan 14, 2013
First of all it is normal.... It isn't some Canadian learned behaviour ;) she is starting to have her own little personality. She has likes and dislikes and doesn't understand when she doing something it is "bad" , just you are no longer letting her do it, and it is normal for her to object.  she has no sense of danger yet so to her it's no different if she is playing with a toy and you take it away...

I agree it is something that comes natural and needs to be corrected and give her another means to express her dislike... But she is allowed to be upset... That is one thing I tell T when he's melting down... You're allowed to be upset but it doesn't mean I'm going to give in :)

As for books I have no idea.... I just wing it so far, no books would have worked on S and seeing as I have weathered that storm for years I'm sure it'll be easy peasy with T

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by adgal, Jan 14, 2013
I agree with K.  I say the same thing to Ryder...it's ok to be mad, it's not ok to hit is something I have repeated a gazillion times.  Now he can tell me he is mad or even frustrated.  Once she has words to better express herself the kicking and yelling will calm down (then they throw tantrums over completely different things...lol).  I'm glad your taking DB to her one year check up.  Write down the stuff he is concerned about so that he feels like you are taking it seriously.  It will make him calm down, and also make him feel like he is just as much a part of her world as you are.  I try really hard not to make DH feel dismissed even when sometimes his concerns are, well, silly...lol.  His big worry right now is that Ryder is hyperactive. I know he isn't - he's just a normal busy boy who needs a lot of physical activity.  But I know DH felt better when we discussed it with the Pediatrician.  He felt like he was taken seriously as dad.

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by FreshLove, Jan 17, 2013
It's completely normal...my son learned this all by himself and I know because he didn't have any siblings or cousins to teach him and he's not in school yet (only 2). It comes with the toddler years, enjoy :) lol

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