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Today I am the derelict

Mar 17, 2008 12:40AM - 2 comments

Today I am the derelict.
I am the castoff,
The loner.
I am the one that doesn't matter much.
No one cares, and no one cares to care.
No one gets it.
I feel overlooked, overwhelmed, and overtaxed.
Someone's always upset with me,
Frustrated with me,
Dissapointed in me.
Today I am everyone's headache, and no one's heartache.
I don't blame them though,
Really I don't.
I don't like me either.
I am upset with me,
Frustrated with me,
Dissapointed in me too.
Not worthy of a diagnosis,
Not worthy of a reason that I am the shell of the person I used to be.
I cried 1/2 the day,
Then pushed myself on.
Floors still need to be swept.
Things still need to be cleaned.
And the only person who ever did understand,
Who ever did care,
Is dissapointed in me now too.
I feel like a failure to everyone.
But the day's done now.
I can go to bed.
And I can cry some more.

Comments
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by Rena705, Mar 17, 2008 11:18AM
Honey...I Care!  What happened to bring all this about is it just a build up?  

I Care!  Sweetie...if that person that you say cared in the beginning the odds are they will get over any disappointment and wrap you in their arms and let you know they haven't stopped caring!

I Care because you are such a giving, caring person yourself and I need you here!

I Care because you always respond to the bad times for me and I feel that you are my friend!

You are my friend and you HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS!!!

Who said you are not worthy....YOU?  I don't think anyone else feels that way do they?  I don't!

What happened?  Talk to me!  I want and need to help you the way you would help me if the shoe was on the other foot right?  Even if we couldn't feel the stupid shoe right?  tee hee

PN me honey...I can try to help, give me the opportunity please?

Lots and Lots of Hugs and Kleenex,

Rena

by angel677, Mar 17, 2008 11:53PM
Hi
I know that you may not know me, but I can understand. I have a lot of days like that. PLEASE REMEMBER that most of the time we bring the feelings on to ourself. You are not to blame for what is going on.I find that by trying to remember the good things about myself and not what I am feeling now helps.Don't dwell on the negative.

Sometime the stress that we feel spills over to our love ones and they don't know what to do so they vent on us. Please don't let it bring you down. I can tell by reading my of your posts that you are strong. I admire that!

I don't know what happened to make you feel so down, but I do hope that may be after a good cry( helps me) and some relax time that you feel better.

This is hard and I know. Please feel free to reach out to me or anybody that will help you feel better. I will do everything and anything that I can to help you.

Everyone here has help me in many ways. You have helped me just by reading your posts. I now no longer feel alone and like I am crazy ( most of the time). Please let us help you.

I care and I am positive that everyone here also cares


Big hugs and a shoulder to lean on.
Angel

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