Jan 30, 2013
i have so far had a rough week. a constant nagging headache that wont go away, and with one cough or sneeze, it goes to a full blown migraine that has me in the fetal postion in bed quicker than you can say "ouch". sometimes its just hard to deal with it all. i wish i could make plans or even go out but at this point, i cant. the headaches and migraines come on so fast and so suddenly, not to mention the constant nausea, tremors, weakness not only in my hands but now sometimes in my legs, etc. its too much of a risk for me to go out. im lucky im even aloud behind the wheel. which im usually not because im smart enough not to drive on a sick day. i just wish these sick days were few and far between but theyre not. theyre 4-5 days a week on a GOOD WEEK. most of the time its every day. i cant even laugh anymore because it hurts to most of the time. and the rare day i dont have a headache or a migraine, i am anxious waiting for it to start.
i know god never gives us more than we can handle, but why does he think i can handle so much? how does he see me as such a strong person if i cant see it in myself? and i know this is supposed to teach me something, i just wish i knew what already. he does things for a reason, he doesnt give us obstacles for no reason, but why does this lesson, whatever it is supposed to teach me, have to be so painful and hard? i just want it over with. to wake up one day without any symptoms and not be on my toes waiting for them to start.