All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

staying strong

Feb 02, 2013 - 6 comments
Tags:

Staying Strong

,

Staying Strong strong



today i am recording my thoughts snd feelings..i relapsed on the pain pills..i went 3 days with out but the boredom of being confined to one room is starting to get to me bad..it seems when i do the pills its a escape from where i am and where i will end up..i feel guilty today because i put my life on the line everytime i leave the house..its amazing how strong an addiction can be ive never been scared of anything my whole life but my siuation scares me..i dont know when ill be able to leave here and reunite with my wife..its been a yr scince ive seen her..actually im also scared she will get sick of waiting and move on..if i quit the pills i can put my energy into getting out of here instead of nodding out in my room..im writing this now in a restaurant once i step outside the fear will kick in will there b a bomb under the bus im on?will it get sprayed with machine gun fire on the way home..im one hr away from home i cant risk going that far but it goes o how me just how strong drug addiction is..i got 100 percs for 5 dollars but am risking my life doing it so somethig has to give or i better accept the fact im going to b stuck here..so today was depressig and scary..ill read this everytime i want to leave the safety of my room...fred

Comments
Post a Comment
3060903_tn?1390303996
by Nighthawk61, Feb 02, 2013
Oh gosh Fred, i'm sorry that you felt you had to go out for these, i'm praying for your safety. Liz

3060903_tn?1390303996
by Nighthawk61, Feb 02, 2013
I can see that you're not online, and I'm worried, i'm hoping your sleeping buddy. Talk to me when you can. okay?

4790301_tn?1359221560
by fred001, Feb 02, 2013
thank u liz i made it home i only heard one gun shot today no mahine guns or bombs thank god but thats just where i was im sure else where hundreds of people died...but im home i would of wrote u sooner i was watching a few movies i bought new release cd are only 30 cents so when the electric goes out i got something to watch...talk to u later god bless...fred

Avatar_f_tn
by UnsureMS, Feb 03, 2013
Dear Fred,
You have not left my prayers. Life over there must be hard, and I couldn't imagine being without my husband. Your wife is in my prayers as well. If God brought ya together, then ya will one day be together again. Just don't lose faith and trust in God. If you feel the need to leave your home pray before doing so. Then leave your safety in Gods hands. I know that must be hard and nothing I have gonna through can compare. But I believe in God, and the bible tells us of his promises. It also tells us that nothing is impossible for him. One more thing at church we are always told that a man can fall seven times but God will always be there to pick him up again. So if you mess up, and turn to pain pills just remember to pick yourself back up and not give up. I am praying for you, your circumstances and your wife. God is with you,
Kimberly

1643531_tn?1390433321
by Godisfaithful, Feb 04, 2013
Fred, if you asked the Lord Jesus to forgive you for relapsing, He did. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". Now I'm not going to pity pat my words because your life and soul is at stake. I love you with the Love of Jesus Christ. He kept you from killing yourself because that is not His desire for you. He has a job for you to do. There is purpose for your life. Live your life doing His will, every day. Seek His will in the Word of God every day and let that be your strength. I know what it feels like to feel unsafe. Mine is different than yours, but mine also kept me locked up. Then I quoted Psalm 91 every day. The safety from God is everywhere, you just have to believe it. Jesus is the same here with me as He is with you. I pray His angels come to you and minister to you to help you believe. Several years ago, I was at my mother in law's house and about to sit down to watch tv. I felt something pull me down. As soon as I moved, a bullet missed my head by a second. The Lord Jesus angels kept me from hitting me in the head and dying from a bullet. My children was also in the same room. I grew up in Cleveland Ohio where almost every night there was some kind of gang activities such as drive by's. My mother prayers kept us safe. I pray every day and night for the Lord's angels to surround myself and my family. This year is my grand-daughter's 1st year of school and when worry try to hit me, the Holy Spirit reminds me of my prayers. There are so many testimonies I can give you concerning how the Lord has protected me and my family. You have to trust Him yourself and believe He is protecting you. He IS NOT a liar. I rebuke satan from your mind right now and command him to release you. You are a conqueror through Him who loves us. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. That even concerns your wife. If you pray for the Lord Jesus to keep her and she don't find anyone else, He will. He did it for my marriage. The Lord Jesus is a Healer. You are Healed from this addiction. You are safe in His arms. I’m speaking these things in faith. No matter how you are feeling, speak it and see the Lord work in your life. Speak life and not death. I’m including the scripture in 2 Kings 6:8-23 about when the prophet Elisha asked God to show his servant the angels surrounding Elisha's house to his servant so he wouldn’t fear the enemies. If you believe in Jesus Christ, you have the authority over your enemies. Finally, get in the Lord’s presence. Spend time praying and studying your Bible. I was reading this prophetic Word and while I was reading it, the presence of the Lord came on me and I never felt that before. I felt safe. I felt I could believe Him for every thing. Take it one day at a time and He will show you Himself like never before. You are loved and covered. I’m also including a website concerning a Word on healing. Please ask the Lord to open your heart so you can receive it. Also, check out my blog, not because it’s about me, but because I post things of Jesus Christ. Be blessed in Jesus, your Savior.
Veronica

http://www.awmi.net/tv/2010/week14
http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1036


Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God
Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look, and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.

Luke 10:17-19; Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” And He said to them, “I saw satan fall like lightning from heaven. BEHOLD, I GIVE YOU THE AUTHORITY TO TRAMPLE ON SERPENTS AND SCORPIONS, AND OVER ALL THE POWER OF THE ENEMY, AND NOTHING SHALL BY ANY MEANS HURT YOU. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”
  
Joshua 1:9; Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

2 Kings 6:8-23; 8 Now the king of Syria was making war against Israel; and he consulted with his servants, saying, “My camp will be in such and such a place.” 9 And the man of God sent to the king of Israel, saying, “Beware that you do not pass this place, for the Syrians are coming down there.” 10 Then the king of Israel sent someone to the place of which the man of God had told him. Thus he warned him, and he was watchful there, not just once or twice. 11 Therefore the heart of the king of Syria was greatly troubled by this thing; and he called his servants and said to them, “Will you not show me which of us is for the king of Israel?” 12 And one of his servants said, “None, my lord, O king; but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom.” 13 So he said, “Go and see where he is, that I may send and get him.” And it was told him, saying, “Surely he is in Dothan.” 14 Therefore he sent horses and chariots and a great army there, and they came by night and surrounded the city. 15 And when the servant of the man of God arose early and went out, there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots. And his servant said to him, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” 16 So he answered, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” 17 And Elisha prayed, and said, “LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” Then the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 18 So when the Syrians came down to him, Elisha prayed to the LORD, and said, “Strike this people, I pray, with blindness.” And He struck them with blindness according to the word of Elisha. 19 Now Elisha said to them, “This is not the way, nor is this the city. Follow me, and I will bring you to the man whom you seek.” But he led them to Samaria. 20 So it was, when they had come to Samaria, that Elisha said, “LORD, open the eyes of these men, that they may see.” And the LORD opened their eyes, and they saw; and there they were, inside Samaria! 21 Now when the king of Israel saw them, he said to Elisha, “My father, shall I kill them? Shall I kill them?” 22 But he answered, “You shall not kill them. Would you kill those whom you have taken captive with your sword and your bow? Set food and water before them, that they may eat and drink and go to their master.” 23 Then he prepared a great feast for them; and after they ate and drank, he sent them away and they went to their master. So the bands of Syrian raiders came no more into the land of Israel.


1643531_tn?1390433321
by Godisfaithful, Feb 04, 2013
Sorry, my blog web address is: http://freefromburdens1.wordpress.com/

Post a Comment