Feb 03, 2013
My mental state is like a million bucks today. But my body feels like I ended up standing in front of a car last night. It's not something to joke about, I know...but there's not ONE single part that doesn't hurt right now. I have a headache (a nagging one behind my eyes) that won't go away and my back is killing me...I also have had weird pains in my sides, where my curves are underneath my ribcage. Those muscles are super sensitive and in killer pain right now. It's been that way for 3 days already. Tylenol doesn't help.
I was better at work today than yesterday, but still can't imagine conquering the most likely 10hr day I will have to face on Tuesday. We're having an event at the portrait studio I work at...People can bring in their little kids and babies to dress like angels and cupid for valentines day and all that fun stuff. It's the most popular event every year and it's usually hell to work even when I've been healthy, so I'm really dreading it. My manager leans on me like I'm an assistant manager so I feel lots of extra pressure this year and will most likely be there the entire day. My back is going to be shot by the end of Tuesday. Yikes.
So besides not being excited about this week, things are feeling a little more hopeful. I was able to sleep decently last night, considering the severe panic attack. I think the Ativan is responsible for that.
There's so much I want to get done but my body hurts too bad to do anything. I hate it. My mind wants to start knocking things off of my neglected list but my body is saying "No way!!!"
I feel like ALL of my insides are at war right now. My muscles and nerves are like "this body is not big enough for the both of us!" LOL It really hurts.
Anyway no cravings today. I just want to stop feeling so antisocial and zombie-like already.