March 18, 2008

Dear mom244,  I noticed in your journal that you are, apparently, trying to stop drinking on your own.  If you find it gets too crazy..........   if you find you pick up a drink one day and are not sure how you got to that point.........  if you think about how a drink, just one or two, would "help" you through this adjustment period.........  then may I respectfully suggest you give some thought to checking out a few open A.A. meetings.  You sound very much as I did at that age.  I was beginning to wonder if my drinking was partially to blame for some of the problem I was experiencing in my life.  I would try, really try, to not take that one drink.  But inevitably, whether it was a week or two or four later, something would happen that would send me back to  a drink.  Then two....  then......I would be back where I had been when I initially stopped.  I was frustrated, felt very alone, thought no one could understand the reasons I would pick up again, didn't feel like I was really really good enough to fit in with whatever situation presented itself and did not have a clue what to do about it.  It may be that you are simply a heavy drinker that can stop for long periods of time.  No one can determine that except you.  Living with someone that drinks can be a challenge in either case.  I wish you much luck...... I'll check in on you from time to time if that's ok.  And I can try to answer any questions you might have, no guarantees.