Still tired

Ugh.  When am I allowed to get some freaking sleep?  I'm beyond pooped.  I didn't go to the stupid doctors appointment because I was just too tired and I didn't want Wellmon to talk about what I already know or prescribe me what I'm deathly allergic to.  He's an idiot.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  

Since I'm in the process of OCD cleaning, I'm not sure when I'm going to sleep, even if I had the chance.  I doubt I'll even lay down.  I think Alex gets off at 10.  I want to take my medication NOW so that I can hopefully fall asleep but I'm semi-worried he'll call the police again and then I'll have another broken door.  I figured if he can't fix it (though he says he can - but I highly doubt it) I will tell D that I was burglarized.  He probably won't believe me because I'm sure there is a police report in the newspaper.  Even if he did believe me, it's not like he would care.  

If I do try to sleep now, it's still going to take a long time until I lay down.  I've got a bunch of sh!t on my bed because I was trying to clean.  Plus I really would like to take a shower and I need to eat something.  It's funny ... the whole eating thing.  I'm trying to lose weight but I'm drinking weight gaining supplements.  

Anyway.  Everything is a very long process for me.  I promise it's not me trying to annoy you if we have to go somewhere.  It's my OCD taking control.  I can't live if things aren't in order.  I have an emotional break down and I feel like someone just took my most precious thing away from me.  It's very dramatic and silly.  I admit that I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help it.  This is just how I am.  

I am lucky because some people with OCD aren't happy with it.  It hinders me from doing things when it gets intense, but most of the time I find joy in it.  It pleases me that I'm tidy and I think it's funny that I'm so anal retentive.  I also think it's funny because it annoys people, yet they're unusually intrigued.  So in the end, everybody's happy.  

Sort of.

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