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A turn for the better?

Feb 17, 2013 - 1 comments
Tags:

Back pain

,

Health

,

Life

,

vicodin addiction

,

hydrocodone

,

Vicodin Detox

,

Detox Success

,

milestone

,

Addiction

,

Vicodin Addiciton

,

hydrocodone addiction

,

gluten intolerance

,

gluten free



Today was so much better than usual. It was way better than what my "normal" has become this past year. The best part is, it wasn't the only day like that this week. It was probably the second or third time I've had that great of a day (considering all my other health issues still trying to get in the way). But I felt happy and finally, alive.
Everyone scared me about Tramadol and getting addicted to it, so I've been so careful. I took 200 mg one day and freaked out. (this was within a 24 hour period...EXACTLY how the drug is supposed to be taken, lol) I just can't stand the thought of going through this again so I get overly stressed about it at times.
However, yesterday I went the whole day without it and did great. I took it today for this nagging sharp pain in my shoulder, but it didn't help in the least...So I will not be taking it anymore. If it's not helping, there's no need for it.
The crappy part is, I've tried ibuprofen (a big no no for my tummy) and Tylenol and they didn't help either. I have to tough it out! It's frustrating when it's such a sharp pain!
I've had two chiropractor visits already. I always feel weird after he works on me. All the adjusting makes me feel out of it the rest of the day. I still have two more visits left (4 visits were prepaid) to determine whether this is a viable, long term solution for managing my back pain. It's not looking like that so far but it's not as short term as taking medication every day, so it's still a step forward. I'm still waiting for my referral for pain management. (my doctors ROCK! not.) It's been a week and a half so I'm going to have to call on Monday.

I did hit a first milestone yesterday. I'm going to spend Sunday with my whole family to celebrate my baby bro's 10th birthday. My grandparents' house was one of my sources of Vicodin, besides prescription. My Nana said she was not going to be getting anymore refills, but she tends to lie to me and "trick me" with things I need or want to hear, so I'm not sure if it's true. I was thinking "What the heck, it has been 20 days without it, taking one will only help my back pain while I'm there. If she offers or has any, I might as well take it." Immediately after, I realized how absurd I sounded trying to reason with myself. Then I really thought about it. I tried to remember what the "high" feeling and euphoria of hydrocodone. I couldn't remember it. I literally couldn't shake the memory of talking a million miles per minute and being excited over absolutely nothing and feeling like I had too many cups of coffee. My brain couldn't recall the heavenly, social, happy feelings attached with the high...Just the downsides of it. It was so strange, yet exhilarating. I felt renewed like I had finally made it over the hump.

I still have a ways to go, but I'm working HARD at it. I'm 95% positive I've been battling a gluten allergy my whole life and that it could be the root of all my stomach problems. SO, I've been shopping around and this week I'm starting a gluten-free diet. I'm going to try it for a few weeks and see if there's any difference. I'm allergic to so many things...Peanuts, different fruits, some medications, animals, soy, etc. The list is ridiculous. Adding gluten to this list would not surprise me at all.
Hopefully it helps.

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by jimi1822, Feb 20, 2013
Good job not taking the Vicodin at you Nana's =0) getting clean is a tough road but so Rewarding when you start to feel "normal" again. You will get there as I stated in your comments "Fall down seven times, Get Up Eight." If you slip it's like falling get back up brush yourself off and Carry On!!! Don't be so hard on yourself and "Never, Never, Never Give up."

                                                                                                    Strength From Above!!!

                                                                                                                  jimi (lil wing=0)

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