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the loss of my baby

Mar 19, 2008 07:24AM - 1 comments

its still very hard for me to write about the series of events that led up to the loss of my baby boy...so i decided for this journal ill copy and paste the first email i sent out expressing my emotions...i miss being pregnant but i know i have to be smart and wait for my testing to be done to try to avoid this from happening again

though i refer to the baby as a girl...i found out later that the baby was actually a boy

RIP baby boy!!!!!

Its not your fault...im more pissed that the doctors didnt listen to me when i told them i think im having contractions and they sent me home saying it was ligament stretching...its def a really tough thing to deal with and i cry so many times during the day....theres just so many questions in my head and a hole left in my heart

him and i have talked about it and we are going to try again, but he wants me to give my body time to heal and i want tests done to try to prevent this from happening again....i have an appt 3/20 to discuss preventative testing and a plan of action for becoming preg again...i know i said before that i was done but i cant describe the hole that is my heart and the pain im carrying around on my shoulders right now

i know when i get preg again im going to scared sh*tless the entire but i have to take that risk to get past this tragedy...ill be high risk the entire time but at least ill know that more preventative measures will be taken with the next one....i already told him that when we do concieve again i dont want to know the sex...ill just be happy to make it full term and my baby boy/girl and just be happy

honestly i think this has brought him and i closer but its sucks when such a tragedy is needed as a wake-up call...and i belive in my heart that things will be different when i get pregnant again...im honestly praying it happens soon so i can get past the sorrow i feel

my dad is on his way down to pick up aiden...my parents are very sad and my entire family so they want to take aiden for a couple of weeks to give me time to heal and him and i time to grieve...as of now im heading up easter weekend to pick him up and he may be coming with

who knows why things happen....they just do and i just pray that my baby girl is happy and one day ill finally be able to hold her





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by wonderme, Mar 19, 2008 09:34AM
So sorry to hear of your loss...I'm afraid I don't know your story, but know a lot of people who have suffered losses and have gone on to have successful pregnancies...I did, although I was much earlier than apparently you were.  But my point is, we all grieve the loss and what could have been, but I hope you find peace and take the time you need to grieve and allow your body time to heal.

There are so many wonderful ladies on here who have had so many different experiences, you will find a lot of support...please just ask if you need help.

Good luck and bless you and your family.

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