Mar 11, 2013
I am not doing well today... I wasnt yesterday either.
I woke up at 8am on Sunday morning, and was told to get up and get dressed because my grandad had been rushed to hospital. My heart was thumping and racing. It was so sudden.
Anyway my grandad has dementia, and because he was bedridden (couldnt walk and had to stay in bed) , he developed sores and an infection or soemthing in his foot. Apparently there was no circulation in his foot anymore. It was purple and he was in a lot of pain because of it. Anyway I wasnt told of the other news that came with that until i got to the hospital. There wasnt really a choice because he could have an operation to cut off his foot but because of the state he was in before, he wouldnt survive recovery. We were told the kindest thing to do was make him comfortable until the end, because it will eventually poison his body. So basically i was told that my grandfather is slowly dying. GOODNESS IT HURTS.
When i was with him in the hospital he was holding my hand and i remebered all the memories we had. He was like a father to me, and i feel so bad for all the times i yelled at him out of frustration. But i guess that is was its like living with someone with dementia. I struggled to leave his room, i wanted to cry. Its hard, really hard.
But then again, i want his suffering to end soon. My wish would be for him to go peacefully, during his sleep or something.
TE QUIERO MUCHO ABUELITO (i love you so much grandad)