Mar 19, 2013
So I havent been on here for any extended amount of time in a few weeks. I am feeling better each day but I still tire very easily. Yesterday I had my stent placed and it should be temporary for 2months. Im feeling bleh from that still and having blood in my urine still, if it contines tomorrow I have to call the Dr.
I see my GYN on Friday and hope to get the ok to lift Quinlan again,its been a long 3weeks. She misses mommy picking her up. We get snuggles in but its not the same.
I have had a few moments. One came after a visit from 2 friends and their daughters. Quinlan had so much fun! She loves kids and loves playing. After everyone went home I got to thinking how sad I am for her. She will never have a play mate. She will be a only child. I mean we will get her involved in as much as we can, and you never know what is in our future but right now adoption isnt a thought or even a possiblity.
I am so thankful that I was able to have such an amazing wonderful little girl. I know some dont even get to have that.
But I have to say. I feel so angry, angry that here I am 29 almost 30 yrs old and I had my organs ripped out because of a disease most people know nothing about or have even heard of!
It affecrts 1 in 10 woman yet there is no cure? Things like this really make me mad
I fought the Endo long and I fought hard nomatter what in the end hell ya I won. I kicked ***. I got my miracle. But it still pisses me the F off!!!!
I know this journal doesnt make much sense and its rambling as most of my journals are they are my release my way to get off my chest what is eating at me
Im not sure how I feel about MH anymore either. I love each and every single one of the wonderful ladies I have met, and I am so happy that we have been there for one another and seen each other get our bab/ies.
But it seems like thats it. So many have just moved on. In the past for example I had so much support when I was going through surgeries. This was my escape I couldnt wait to get on this site and see the lovely notes and know these woman I never even met cared more about those close to me
Dont get me wrong. I know how precious time is and I too much rather be spending it with my DD, I just know many ladies have been feeling like this and I just wonder what has changed so much with MH in the last 3yrs?
This too makes me sad.
well thats enough rambling for now. Im tired and just want to say thank you to everyone who has checked in I will do my best to get back to you soon