Real quick

If anyone reads my journals, I appreciate you're either bored and have nothing else to do, or ... whatever.  I want to explain that I have a very sardonic sense of humor, I'm kind of a sadist, a masochist, and a sadomasochist.  That may not make sense, but I list them separately because the last one is usually misunderstood as sexual deviancy.  I've been asked if I'm "freaky", which makes me laugh for an hour straight, but I'm an open person.  I believe you should try things at least twice because you never know.  I am actually extremely shy.  I know I seem cold, uncaring, and probably mean.  But I truly have a big heart, I care a lot about everyone, and I am a lover not a fighter.  

It doesn't matter to me whether you think I'm a jerk or not.  But if you're interested in getting to know me better, it's a little hard to fully understand a person over the internet, because even if you don't try, we have different personalities online.  I'm pretty true to my featured characteristics.  Except sometimes being shy.  I am mistaken for being mean and snobby when I'm actually really shy and feel awkward.  I have morals and I don't like to label myself as anything like Christian because I don't think we can be a certain thing since there is an infinite amount of knowledge.  

Sometimes I may seem racist, and maybe I am, but I have no malicious intent.  That doesn't make racism right, but my idea of what may make me racist is based on the traditional culture of Asians, specifically, and not so much what I think, but what I think of them.  

I babble a lot and most of the time I don't think I am making any sense.  I'm actually above average intelligent, even though it most definitely doesn't seem plausible.  I am a writer, or at least used to be, but among being painfully shy, I'm also very susceptible to discouragement.  I'm very shy and I'm very sensitive.  

There are a few things that I'm a natural at:

I'm musically inclined (which is stereotypical of Asians, and yes, I played piano and a string instrument, it was the cello),

I am more intelligent than I usually appear because I'm shy,

When I parallel park, it is absolutely majestic and you will find yourself in awe at how good I am and that no one ever taught me how to do it,

I know my sister better than she knows herself, which correlates to my disassociation with myself and being an observer, which results in high accuracy of perception,

I learn things fast but I lose interest quickly.

And ... that's all I can think of right now.  Besides, I don't think anyone really reads the stuff I right except J.  So, yo, J!