Mar 30, 2013
So happy and blessed to be clean this Easter!!! Had such a horrible nightmare yet again last night about taking pills. Woke up so furious bc I thought I had really taken some pills and would have to start my countdown all over again. Lol. If anyone knows me by now they know I'm extremely impatient !!!
I'm on day 17 and there is no flipping way I'm going back to day 1!!!!! For what???? To feel guilty and bad about myself.
The feeling of pride I get to say that I'm actualy clean. Feels absoultly amazing!!!! Indescribable.
Yes I still get anxiety and still am
Not at 100% w my energy. But I'm doing what I can to stay active and busy. And that helps me a lot.
When I was on methadone I was like a cracked out superwoman. Lol. I could run 10 miles after working all day long!! I can't do that anymore. And am learning to accept that. Just working hard on eating clean to feel better about myself. I'm working out the best I can to get those endorphins pumping throughout my body.
I'm Learning to redirect myself when I'm tempted by hubby's stash or get anxious. And have been really challenging at times. But with Gods help I'm getting through w out much of a scratch. Only by Gods grace. I give all the credit to Him.
Just do grateful to have found so many amazing people on mh!! Absolutely blows my mind I never dreamed on jan 1st how this forum
Would help me through this fight!!
God bless u my friends