Mar 14, 2009
Right now I'm online researching experimental treatments for tardive dyskinesia. The essential thing is I would never "self medicate". But there are studies here and there on various medications and treatments. I don't know which ones are accurate and conclusive (though I can spot the obvious misinformation which I ignore, any valid clinical research is of interest) but my psychopharmocologist and movement disorders specialist will know.
I took a walk today. A very long walk. And have blisters on my feet. I was disoriented somewhat during the walk. Then I came home and entered a dissociative state, took a nap and had dissociative nightmares and woke up with myoclonic spams in a dissociative state saying "where am I?". My affect (mood) has been relatively stable. I certainly wasn't psychotic as the neighborhood I entered was a crowded area and had a lot of teenagers acting a bit rowdy which would have made me paranoid before my recovery with glycine. I would have felt "threatened". I didn't. Nor did I feel "speeded up" as I do when manic. So what is going on that there is depersonalization/derealization and playing gothic or depressing music as I type? Dysphoric mania. But I didn't experience that before recovery. So what is it really? The walk came from tardive akathesia (need to keep in motion), what I had thought before was "the match girl" is some kind of "floater" (seeing flickering lights that shouldn't be there, that's common to many neurological disabilities, known or unknown) that brings on myoclonic spasms (tardive myoclonus) and the dissociative state the criteria they are investigating tardive dysphrenia. But my thinking now is "real world" as I look up the information that I can bring to my providers to help me.
But the Clonidine has improved my cognition from tardive dysmentia (I could not process or understand objects before) and of course on dystonic spasms so I can type better. And did some collage work as well. And yes it helps on standard moodswings. But with the neurological aspects this is something different. But what exactly? Well I've been asking again for a PET scan. I can describe what's going on and having ruled out known critieria they are now considering the "unknowns" as I've stated. But how does a "theory" become a "fact". If you can document what's going on exactly in the brain. That's a good start. And at the same time they might be able to see the marked recovery from glycine. To know exactly how the glutamate antagonists help. And as the study results on that class of antipsychotic are extremely positive but tentative clinically speaking they agree my recovery from schizoaffective is a fact. But if they could see it then in clinical terms there's proof that can't be denied. And as I always say a fact that can help other people have the mental recovery I did without the neurological disabilities is a fact worth finding out...