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Apr 05, 2013 - 6 comments

well af would have came today but im still on progestrone . i have boob pain, lower back pain and a teriable headache ! I think its stress . so my kids all got sick while we were at knotts i think we all got food posioning  because none of us have been able to keep any food down in days . i paid 100$ for burgers there too :( anyways we bought dh a car its not new its a 2001 and right away the problems start he has had to be rescued 2 x and the engine light is on im so mad had to spend my fertility med $ on fixing the lemon oh and we have a payment on it too :(  So Dh was up next for over time and his day got given away  we will make it i just dont like living pay check to paycheck . I have a seperate act for emergency $ for kids dr etc but it ***** we both have looked for work him a 2nd job me a job and no one is hireing us because of our schedule maybe it will be easier this summer . should have our home paid off in 12 more years that will be a plus having it paid off before dh retires . my dd is going into the national guard after graduation june 2014 . I had plains to see my mom on the 4th of july and now im not sure i want to go her boy friend annoys me and it puts tension in the room .  im thinking of going to my cousin in vegas but only if my one cousin and aunt are not going because she (my one cousin ) told me she was glad i miscarried always making fun of me for having huge vans or cars she said my kids are retarted because i homeschool threw a charter school my one son has adhd and cant sit still in a class room enviroment so i dont talk to them no more this has made my own father not really talk to me . im mad at him because he told a mutuial friend of the family my dh was going to leave me and that is why he dont come see my kids because he dont want to take care of us . I never asked him for money he did give us 300.00 after my miscarriage in 2011 because the day after my dh wrecked our van and we had to rent a big enough vechicle to hold our family which was 65$ a day and we had it 2 weeks it was alot so he helped us out that is it never a happy b day for my kids or christmas nothing he does that stuff for my cousins kids and the sad thing is they have like 4 or 5 i have 6 not much diffrence .

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by mandaszoo, Apr 06, 2013
Hey Retta,
   Try not to worry about all the negativity . You have wonderful kids and as long as you can enjoy your life with your DH and beautiful family that is all that matters. My dad left when I was little and has never bothered since. He has never met his Grandchildren . Did not even visit when DD died but he is the loser. I have done very best I can to bring my kids up and it has been one long struggle but when DD graduates very soon with her !st class honours (first one ever to go to UNi in our family) I know I have done an OK job. My father also spends lots of time with my cousins family and  she (my cousin) actually stopped talking to me because I am done with my poor excuse of a father. Concentrate on what and who truly matters. Sending a big hug x

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by krichar, Apr 06, 2013
I agree with manda :)

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by retta483, Apr 07, 2013
Thank you both I just feel bad for my kids when they ask why they don't see him or when they see pictures of him with my cousins kids . My dad was eighteen when I was born he is third of six kids with no dad so I really don't think he knows how to be a father.

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by retta483, Apr 07, 2013
Thank you both I just feel bad for my kids when they ask why they don't see him or when they see pictures of him with my cousins kids . My dad was eighteen when I was born he is third of six kids with no dad so I really don't think he knows how to be a father. Congrats manda great job with dd

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by krichar, Apr 07, 2013
That's no excuse... My DH has no dad and he's fantastic. I know it's hard but all you can droid the best you can and let them know everyday all that matters is they are very loved :)

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by mandaszoo, Apr 08, 2013
I agree with Kirchar .Retta you are a good mum. You have enough on your plate without carrying the guilt of your inadequate father. To be honest my mum is not brilliant either but that made me determined to be a better mum myself not use it as an excuse. None of us know how to be great parents but all we can do is try our best and your dad, like my own is not even trying. When your kids ask why he does not bother be truthful and tell them it hurts you too, that he doesn't bother but tell them it is his loss. All very best and Thank you : )

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