Next week I'm supposed to visit Mrs. P. about helping out her elementary students with writing skills. She's going to fill me in on what I'll be doing. She was my inspiration to write when I was younger, but I am discouraged easily and haven't written anything in a long time. This is half good and half bad. Usually when I write, it's from misery. If I'm in an episode like I am now, most of the time I'm depressed and not euphoric, but certain simple things overly excite me.
I don't want to disappoint her. I love her so much, she was a great teacher. I had her in fourth grade, so I'm assuming that is what she still teaches.
I am waiting for this semester to end so I can sign up for classes at the university, then maybe I'll finally have health insurance.
I don't want to mess any of this up. Everyone already thinks I'm a failure. It feels like I'm never going to accomplish anything with how my life is now. Being Bipolar always interrupts anything good. It's inevitable. Nothing lasts. Kind of like a monthly period.
I am really going to try and focus. I'm losing coordination and concentration. Honestly, I can go on and on about how I'm falling to pieces, but it would be a long list. Being manic, you know, you're hyperactive and list all the things you need/want to do, but you never finish them. GOD I hope I can do this. Whoever is in charge or whatever, please, please, please let me finish something in my life.