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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room #58

Apr 11, 2013 - 250 comments
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tramadol

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ultram

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Recovery

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room

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Love

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Healing



Hi Tramadol Warriors,

I know you can do this.  People are here to help you.  It's going to be ok.


Love and Healing,
Emily

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by allinblack, Apr 11, 2013
Hi all!

I shall be the first to post on this new thread  Thanks, Emily! You are a true inspiration.

Welcome @ullr  You are a true inspiration that this can be done.  I am so sorry that you have had to endure such a battle, but I am so proud of you

To all:

I think today is day 31.  I never thought I would ever get this far.

I went back to my freelance job today.  I am a makeup artist and I stand on my feet for at least 7 hours when I work.  I was really dreading this day.  I haven't done my freelance work since I went off.  I worked right before I went off.... during my taper "horrible taper".  The last time I worked.. a little over a month ago.. at the same store... I was feeling so badly. I thought I was dying or had MS.  Horrible panic attacks. Horrible pain.  I didn't chalk it up to the taper withdrawal I was going through.  So, that brought a great amount of anxiety when I thought of going back to the "scene of the crime".  I couldn't sleep last night because of it.  The "what if" thoughts were killing me.  But, you know what, I made it through and it wasn't bad.  Those panic attacks I thought I was going to have did not happen.  It was actually kid of fun.  I got to see my friends and I enjoyed talking so much to the clients and friends I have not seen in a while.

I did have pain. I was achy.. but I will say that the pain was not as near as bad as when I was on the "pain killer".  it was normal withdrawal pain.  I didn't take anything for it.  I didn't need the Xanax.  I didn't need the Tylenol.  I didn't need the muscle relaxer.  I brought all of that with me just in case.  It's funny, I kept thinking in my mind that maybe i was hurting less because I took a pill and that my pain was worse, but then I realized, I DIDN'T take any pills.  This was me... all me. Such a weird experience.  I know I am fatigued because of the remnants of the drug withdrawal.

I talked to several people today who have been through antidepressant withdrawal and even one guy who went through tramadol (among other drugs) withdrawal.  They all made it through! They said it was hell but that things got manageable in about 30 days and was much better in 6 weeks to two months.  I am so surprised at the amount of people who are being prescribed and are having to deal with the side effects of all of these evil drugs.  it's epidemic! It must stop!  This is so wrong!

Take care all!  You are all in my thoughts and I send much love your way!

I was so proud of myself today! I can't believe I made it through

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by doxiemommy2, Apr 11, 2013
I have lurked around this "Recovery room" area off & on over the past couple of years to gain insight & information regarding my own tramadol usage & while i have asked a couple of questions in the substance abuse forum, this is my 1st entry here. Why have i not posted before NOW you may ask??!? Simple - this is my 1st time here since going CLEAN! My experience in "tram world" and my journey back to this point has been one much like most others I've read about.i will give you some back ground here since i am new to these parts....I was given Ultram samples for headaches by the physician i worked for back starting about 15 yrs ago - when it was "new" and supposedly the great new going thing in the world of moderate pain medication. I used it as needed (sporadically- but as directed-never more!) off & on w/out a problem off and on up to 2008. But I knew then I was pretty fond of the energy and euphoria it gave me - and so the fascination began! Jump forward to Jan. 2008 when I took a tumble while "playing chase" w/my dachshund puppy (running in socks on a hardwood floor - not smart!! LOL) Colliding w/a bathroom door frame upon impact, i tore my rotator cuff badly & had surgery a few weeks later to repair. Tramadol was prescribed for me to use for pain as soon as I was seen for my injury & I continued using it until i completed therapy 3 mo's later. Immediately after, i was diagnosed w/Fibromyalgia & cymbalta, Lyrica & Tramadol (once again!) prescribed as maintenance daily treatment protocol. i continued to take Tram as prescribed - daily - every day-without fail. Man - i wish I had been told this had addictive properties - I had no clue what i was setting myself up for but wish i had. Continue on to 2010, I was super woman by that time - running my own business succcessfully, managing 2 kids, a house, a hubby, 2 dogs - crazy busy life & running on all 1000 cylinders - quite effectively i might ad. I had energy out the WAZOO 24/7 - rarely slept, spotless house, clean car and always doing 50 things at once - i was awesome... as long as i took my tram.And by this point i was upwards of 8-10 a day. All was pretty groovy until i crashed about once a wk - and when i crashed, i crashed HARD. I would sleep 18-20 hrs at a time & began to notice when i slept a straight 18 hrs - i would always wake up w/diarrhea & the most horrible aches w/a pissy attitude to boot. It took me a while of this up and down thing and some google-ing for me to figure out what was going on.i knew in March of 2010 I was physically dependant on tramadol & i hid my dirty little secret pretty darn well - even in a happy marriage to an awesome man who doesn't miss much! LOL  I had climbed upwards to 15-20 a day (50 mg) by that point to keep all my "balls" in the air i was juggling - i had to - this was the precedence I had set for myself - right. I had started getting my monthly RX filled @ the local pharmacy and started ordering via the internet - everything would roll on as usual - until i ran out and it was too early to get a refill- or the Fed Ex man's delivery was delayed in arrival - and i would find my self counting pills, dividing by how many i had left and how many days till the UPS man was scheduled to come and so on. My husband began to suspect i was up to something - the "illnesses" of diarrhea and no energy every 2-3 mo's when i'd run out 7 how i would suddenly perk up as soon as the UPs man came! LOL  I went CT totally innocently in 2011 when an order from an over-seas pharmacy came and turned out to be "fakes" (or sugar pills i guess?) and I was forced to go into an immediate w/d period unplanned and unwanted quite by accident. I went from taking 20-30 a day to NOTHING and spent the worst 8 days of my life in bed and so so so sick. Great - 8 days clean - a great time to quit- right? NOPE - my order refill came do and i was right back on the wagon =- magically well - again! LOL Things continued on until July 2012. I left one morning and somehow or another left 3 of the "little while pills" laying on my bed. My husband came home - saw & picked them up - afraid one of our dogs would get a hold of them. He looked at the imprint on them and went to my laptop to a drug identifier program, did some reading & went to my user history/order history in my laptop and easily went to every sight i ever had ordered from with my *cookies* saved on those sites for easy access to all my web of deciet I'd spun the past few years - i was stone cold BUSTED!! He didn't call me or text me and say a word. I came home that night and opened my laptop and it was all there waiting for me - I knew i hadn't left all that stuff up and open - i was really careful (or so i thought) about covering my ugly sinful tracks. I shut it and started to get up and walk away to "absod" the reality of the moment and he caught me before i could walk out of the room....."Anything you wanna talk about?" he said....ugh - time i beg for mercy & throw myself on the mercy of the love courts! I came clean (like i had a choice!!) And told him i didn't want to take them any more but that i was physically dependent - he'd seen it so he knew. We talked and he was awesome and has been awesome to this day - i could NOt have done this w/out his love and support. After deciding I needed medical assitance to do this bc I was in no position to take off work a while and detox C/T.....i began the job of trying to find some help in Aug. 2012....dead ends, foiled plans of tapers, etc....my MD who cut me off when I came clean and asked for help, another Nurse Prac. who tried to admit me to a 60 day drug program (not a possibility for me to do at that point)....FINALLY Jan. 2013 - a friend who went back into MD practice came thru for me. I went to her & spilled the whole story and my 20-30 pill a day (50mg) shameful story w/my desire to end this madness of chasing the mailtrucks & spending over $400 monthly on trams! She was so so so awesome for me - a taper plan in place I could live with - a Rx for clonidine & Rozerum (new non-addictive sleep med) I was ready to start/end this final chapter. I tapered ok - some issues w/the clonidine and my bp bottoming out- which is low as it is anyway - the last couple of months have been rough - but i did it. No brain zaps this time due to my taper method she recommended, lots of diarrhea - treatable w/imodium, lots of sleep - no energy/motivation, lots of tears - the 1st week totally off was still rough even though i tapered...no clonidine after i totally quit tramadol - it was zapping me...and I switched frmo Cymbalta to Lexapro a month ago and it has helped w/the anxiety....all that to say - it has been a long A$$ road - but i am happy to say i am a couple of days short of 1 month clean - and i lived to tell it - never ever thought i could come off this crap and while i am not there - back to me- yet, i am getting there.   I want to share more of where i am now mentally and physically in my next post - but for now - there it is...it's out there and i am now part of the "clean" club and proud to saw I have had not one craving since March 16th 2012 when i took my last half of a tramadol tablet......looking forward to hanging out around these parts and learning more of what to expect from here out in my journey - you ppl are awesome to "chum" with btw – I just know it! :)  

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by coosa1978, Apr 12, 2013
I first came across Emily back in 2010 and thought what an inspiration she was to lead the way with the truth about Tramadol and the hold it takes on those that endure under it's power.  After many failed attempts at weaning and cold turkey (too many attempts to remember), I am now clean for several months!  I keep track of each and every day that I have stayed clean, since each day is a milestone.

I had been taking Tramadol since 2005 pretty much every day until last year when I realized how messed up my life was becoming.  The constant worry of running out...the counting how many pills are left before I can order again...the fear of not having the little while pills at my side at all hours of the day...it was running my life and to make matters worse, my husband and myself BOTH were consuming these devils like there was no tomorrow!  My daughter has missed out on so much since she was born and I was fed up making excuses to her.  She deserved so much more from both of us and I decided it was ENOUGH.

Now I sit here 162 days later, relieved to be FREE, yet still recovering every day.  I have many more days like today in my future, where I am thankful to myself for being strong enough to finally kick the habit!  I have passed the point of the pain of withdrawal and wanting just a little "pick me up"...there was no end in sight until that switch was triggered in my mind and said "This is it".

Kudos to all that have kicked the devil to the curb and continue to stand strong!

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by ImDONENoMore, Apr 14, 2013
Not sure if anyone else saw this segment on The Today Show this past week, but for the first time EVER I finally heard the Dr.'s talking about TRAMADOL and they included it with the list of other over-prescribed and highly addictive pain killers.  Maybe the Dr.'s are finally catching on?  Let's hope.

Continued good luck to all of you - I promise you, life off trams is SO much better.  You're going to have those days of doubt and you have to IGNORE those moments.  You've made the right decision getting off this poison. :)

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by FourJays, Apr 14, 2013
Hi everyone-

Wow, it is SO nice to hear all of these encouraging stories!

ImDONENoMore - This is the BEST news!  It seems like the Substance and Addiction forum has been crazy busy lately with new members battling Tramadol dependency/addiction problems.  What a victory, or at the very LEAST a step in the right direction, for all of us that have struggled long and hard getting free of this evil med.

Thanks SO much for sharing this . . . I wonder if this segment is still "viewable" on the Today Show website; think I'll check it out  :))

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by LastDance, Apr 18, 2013
Hello everyone,

I hardly post, but I always read the other posts. I decided to post today because I hit a low day I guess. It's been 3 weeks since my very last dose of Tramadol and my anger at the doctor who initially put me on them has turned into an overall grateful feeling for a different doctor that put me on a taper plan - which for me was the best thing to get out from under this. I tapered for 2 months and just by comparing my withdrawal to withdrawal stories I have read here, I've had it pretty easy. That doesn't mean I'm free and clear though.

Some symptoms I haven't had: RLS, tummy troubles, sweating uncontrollably, brain zaps, overall worst flu ever, insomnia.

Symptoms I have had/are still having occasionally: anxiety, lethargy, lack of motivation, minor body aches.

I followed my doctor's taper plan exactly, started to take a good multi-vitamin, as well as some others I read might help with withdrawal symptoms. I started my own smoothie a day program packed full of fresh fruit and/or veggies. My doctor also started me on a daily anti-anxiety medication a week before I quit Tramadol so I would have it on board. I'm also having anxiety because of other things going on in my life so it serves two purposes.

I know not everyone can taper for various reasons and I know there are still a lot of doctor's or what have you who still might not understand the effects of Tramadol and understand how to put someone on a good taper schedule, but for me it was completely worth it to swallow my pride and tell my doctor I needed his help, and thankfully he knew what to do.

In the past 3 weeks I've noticed quite a few changes in myself. That foggy feeling has faded, my short-term memory was greatly reduced but I hope that will get better with time. I'm feeling more confident about getting out and not isolating myself anymore. And slowly, day by day, life is getting good again. But then I kind of hit a wall today. No energy, slight anxiety but nothing I can't handle, and I don't want to see or talk to anyone. So I just have to remind myself that it's ONLY been 3 weeks and I'm doing pretty well overall.

I wish everyone success who is still going through this, just beginning, or even just considering stopping. It's definitely the most challenging time I've had in my life, but I'm happy to be on the other side now.

Take care everyone.

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by FourJays, Apr 18, 2013
Hi Last Dance -

I'm so glad you DID post this!  First of all, congratulations on 3 weeks!  It is SO nice to hear a positive story and this helps a lot to inspire someone that is still in the "thinking about it" or "just reading" stage (as many of us do before we decide to join and/or post).  

Getting free of tramadol once it has taken hold is not easy, no matter how you do it, and it's awesome to hear a good success story.

It sounds like for the most part you are seeing and feeling a lot of positive changes.  From what I have experienced in getting off of this medication, what happened to you today is normal.  These kinds of days will still pop up now and then, but usually don't last long, and they seem to get less frequent as time goes by.  As a matter of fact I had a very similar kind of thing today too.  And I too, have some outside factors that I'm sure are contributing to this little "mini funk" as I call them.  I was thinking about it today - I now think of these "off" days as reminders of why I will NEVER touch tramadol again.  I know it will fade away just as fast as it came on.

So hang in there, you have worked hard for this and the rewards WILL continue to add up.  These kinds of days will get less and less.  You are doing this . . . congratulations on your arrival to the other side :))  Thanks for the inspiring post!



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by VICourageous, Apr 18, 2013
Hi All..I am so glad I got the knowledge about the Trams..Some Drs still try to give it to us..They think it is non-additive..Ha!! I just told my Dr Yesterday about it..He was kind of shocked..I also had a run in with a girl who said she talked to 5 Dr who told her it did not have the anti-depressant in it..I said I see stories all day and these people do not know each other and they all know it does..So My hats off to you people it had to be a very hard one to come off of..Thanks for the Knowledge about this..My Hubs Dr was going to put him on it!!! Very, Very Inspiring!

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by allinblack, Apr 22, 2013
Hi All!

Just checking in.  I think it's day 43.  I'm hanging in there.  Feeling a little better all the time.  Brain zaps still get me a little bit and the morning cortisol induced anxiousness still annoys me.  I fight it off tho. Haven't had to take any anti-anxiety pills. I also get emotional sometimes and I can be irritable or easily frustrated.  I have to ride it out though.  I was on tram for 10 years.

A few days ago, I had a bad spell.  I don't think it was necessarily drug withdrawal though (brain zaps did get worse, however).  I was starting to get a cold sore and achiness, so I took some Valtrex for a couple of days.  In addition, I was in PMS mode.  I didn't have a good Friday and had to leave work due to pain.  I looked at possible side effects for Valtrex and I had all of em.  I am so sensitive to that medication.  I never knew how intense because I was always on the tram.  As soon as I stopped taking Valtrex, I felt better.  So.. I think it was a combo of the hormones and the meds.

I can't wait to get to the 2 month point.  These residuals, though mild, are annoying.

Take care all!!

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by L_Lady, Apr 30, 2013
Hi all, I just want to say first that I am so glad to find a place to get support/read about/learn about tramadol abuse and withdrawal that is not overwhelmingly negative and is actually encouraging with some some members who are clean and on the "other side" with clear thinking and a real perspective.
firstly I'd like to say that things have definitely "aligned" at the right time for me to quit...as I've read has happened to others.  
I've been addicted to tramadol for 5 years. there...I said it.  it began when I had surgery to remove a lipoma (tumor) from my back.  I was given tramadol for postoperative pain (with the normal misconception that it is not addicting or habit forming).  I also had issues with migraines and the same practitioner continued to prescribe them for me with refills (it was not a controlled substance at the time).  
I noticed they gave me energy,  and helped me be more outgoing with less social anxiety. I'd like to say I was simply taking themas prescribed and became physically addicted, but the reality is I liked how they made me feel and took them every 4 hrs of every day for that reason.   I don't remember details of when and why (as I'm sure many of u know, years on this stuff become a blur), but I know I've experienced cold turkey w/d from this stuff twice.  the first time I believe my practitioner was out of town ...I experienced the restless  whole-body syndrome until I was able to get the new scrip.  I don't remember how long I went through it, or if I took off of my full-time job to stay home, but I know that when I got my scrip I immediately filled it.  
The next time Iran out, I happened to be dating a guy who had an unusual form of epilepsy.   he had ropinerol (Requip) and I took those until my scrip was available.  it made the w/d symptoms bearable ...not fun, but bearable.  oh, fyi, at some point tram became a controlled substance so refills were no longer.  
fast forward to about 2-3 weeks ago.  upon contacting  my practitioner for another prescription, I was told "you need to get off of tramadol.  I received a letter stating I'd prescribed too many scrips to one person."  it became real to me that my run with tram was over.  I'd love to say that I realized I was destroying myself,  but that's just not true.  I was forced to face reality bc my practitioner could not prescribe them to me anymore,  and I knew no other dr., etc would prescribe them as irresponsibly as she had.  
now other very important info about me (and I don't expect any advice from other posters about this).  I have had issues with depression, ocd, and social anxiety.   if I could go back, I would never have started taking antidepressants, but I can't and I don't want to obsess over things I can't change.  I've been on one SSRI or another since I was 18...and I'm 31 now.  my practitioner was very irresponsible in scribing me tramadol while I was on an SSRI.  Both drugs act on serotonin and together can cause serotonin syndrome,  and both decrease seizure threshold.  though I never took more than two trams at a time, I'm still very lucky I never had a grand mal seizure!   5 mos ago, I neglected to pick up my ssri scrip (being irresponsible and putting things off is the norm when taking tramadol).  it was a week to two weeks before I picked it up and upon taking the first dose, my heart began pounding out of my chest (an effect I believe now to have been a result of too much serotonin, as my body was no longer used to both).  I said forget it, and didn't take it again.   I did ok for several months...until about a month ago.  endless and disturbing obsessive thoughts, terrible depression (not eating/afraid to eat, not sleeping, self isolating, sense of dread 24/7, behaviors that prompted everyone to ask if was ok, etc).  at first I told myself I could fight it.  I ended up telling another dr. I was seeing about it, and although he admitted that yes, andtidepressants increase your need for them, he stated it was about quality of life at this point.  bc of my described adverse reaction to the ssri, he prescribed Remeron (not an SNRI, but does effect serotonin and norepinephrine).  tho tram does affect those neurotransmitters, it clearly wasn't enough to hold my psychiatric symptoms,  and was perhaps making them worse.  
so the new psych scrip and the notification that my tram trip would be ending came at about the same time.  I didn't want to (and still don't) take another antidepressant.   I realized that as scared of myself and my actions as I was already,  getting off of the tram would most certainly push me over the edge.  I read about remeron, and found it was very sedating/induced sleep,  heavily incteased appetite, and affected some of the same chemicals as tram.  although I've read horror stories about remeron "pooping out" early on, and being hard to get off of, I knew I was unstable and suicidal,  and had to get off tram.  
so here's where I'm at:  I found that once starting the remeron, I could fairly quickly drop my dose of tram without physical symptoms of restlessness and insomnia.  there's still the "empty" feeling in my head and uneasiness of experiencing sobriety,  but now that I am honest with myself about the damage I was doing and the blessing it was to finally be told no more tram, I'm finding myself more mentally motivated to drop it.  I went from at least 4-7 trams a day to now 1/4 of one pill a day.  :)  I'm feeling emotionless,  periods of depersonalization (feeling like I'm not in my body or operating it), unmotivated, inability to concentrate, etc, but this could be from the Remeron (tho I've experienced these things from not taking tram in the past).  
I'm now worried about what ill do when I so "jump off.'"  altho it will be from a very low dose, it will still be 100% of what my body would be used to at that time.  make sense?  I realistically can't take off work.  ill be off 5 days in a row at the end of may, but I don't know if I want to wait that long...I want off these things now, u know?  
advice I would very much welcome :
how to taper from here.  go to half of a quarter (if I can cut that), crush and mix with water, go to every other day-every 3 days, every 4 days then nothing?
anything to take to help with symptoms.   the remeron does seem to help with sleep and restlessness but I'm not sure how much it will when I jump off.  I don't want to add anything else addicting.  I'm really struggling with not being able to focus and being unproductive, is there anything to help with that?  I forgot to mention,  I started taking potassium before my taper, fish oil with lots of epa vs dha, magn/calc/zinc and vit c supplements.  I do feel an itchiness to move and am very fidgety ..always kicking my leg,etc. but the whole body restless syndrome is not in full force.  
again,  I'm so glad to have found this site and all of the positive posters.   I apologize for the very long post, but hopefully it will help everyone to understand my situation.
we can all do this.  :)  I know we can.


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by L_Lady, Apr 30, 2013
another note, my heart rate has been high.  has anyone else experienced this while tapering?   I know it could be from the remeron but I also think it very well could be fron my body not getting the tram it was used to functioning with.  my rate has never gone above 100 (which would qualify as tachycardia) that I've noticed, but it has been at 98 resting...pretty much all the time.  
also I've had a mild numbness/tingling in my extremities.  
I'm also struggling with an obsessive thoughts disorder, so please forgive me for sounding like a hypochondriac. :)

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by ImDONENoMore, Apr 30, 2013
Hi L_Lady and welcome!!!

OK well first of all I am SO happy to hear you have decided to quit (forced or not, it's the right decision).  Tramadol is the WORST in my opinion, of all the pain meds, just the worst.

And firstly, I can tell you my heart rate was very fast in the beginnning of my early detox/withdrawal.  Course, I wasn't smart enough at the time to taper from the trams.  I quit cold turkey from a 25 + pills a day habit (awful, I know).. and it was a horrible experience.  I also quit xanax on the same day, and you should never EVER C/T from a benzo.  But again, I didn't know any better.  It was only sheer luck that I didn't experience a seizure during all of that.

I guess I just wanted to reassure you that the fast heart rate is a common withdrawal symptom from any opiate, incl. tramadol.  So I found hot showers, walks, moving around, to help the most with that symptom.  There is the horrible restless feeling that comes with this withdrawal, and getting up and moving around was something that did seem to help.  I also began taking some of the same supplements you did, incl. the fish oil, and I actually began taking St. John's Wort, and I did that for the first six months to help ward off any possible depression that comes from early detox from tramadol, and it also helped.  But of course, I wasn't taking any other AD at the time, so I certainly don't recommend that for you.  But I think adding a daily multi-vitamin is a good idea, at least short term, and given that you're already taking the magnesium, I won't suggest bananas, which I ate to help with the relentless RLS that hit me, especially at night.  I won't lie to you, sleep for a while will be difficult.  But it will return to normal, only that it tends to be one of the last things that returns to normal after you quit.  But I promise you, it WILL return to normal.

I know what you're going through, and how hard this is right now.  But getting off the trams will be one of the best decision you've ever made.  This drug is so awful, and I believe it's because of the anti-depressant quality to this drug, that makes withdrawal more tricky.  And I cannot tell you how ANGRY I was when I discovered, only AFTER the fact, that this drug contained that AD component.  Had I known that, I'm pretty sure I would have asked for something else.  In fact, when I think back on the various procedures/surgeries I've had to endure over my lifetime, I had no real long-term issues when stopping the standard opiates they give you from that kind of stuff, but the tramadol?  That was a whole different ballgame.  All I can hope for now is that the Dr.'s are starting to realize what this drug is doing to people, and no longer overprescribe this med.

Lastly, and again, welcome!  I'm really glad you found this place.  I remember that feeling, the one you're having now when discovering this forum, and it was a huge relief to me to know I wasn't alone.  And you're not.  We're all here to help in any way we can.  And I will repeat this, I am SO happy you have decided to quit for good.  You won't be sorry, I promise you that.  :)

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by L_Lady, Apr 30, 2013
i'mdone, thank u so much for responding so quickly!   I'm so glad u made it through your ct unharmed ...from what I understand,  seizures are a very real risk of both use/abuse and withdrawal of tram.  my being so obsessed with my health and worrying constantly about dying, I knew I shouldn't ct.  although,  I did go from a several pill a day habit down to one fourth of a pill a day in under 3 weeks,  so it was a very steep drop in dose.  not surprising my heart rate is through the roof.  :)  I honestly feel like it wasn't coincidence I was put on the Remeron (mirtazipine) at the very time I was faced with ending my tram addiction.   part of why I dropped so fast tho was because it truly isn't safe to take tram with an antidepressant and my mental illness had gotten to a pretty dark place.  I started piling on the potassium and other supplements (I forgot to add I also take a liver formula with milk thistle,  turmeric, b6, b12, and many other goodies) and started dropping the tram.  1/4 of a pill does absolutely nothing for me euphoria -wise and I (in the spirit of taking one day at a time and celebrating even tiny accomplishments) am proud that I am getting through whole days without the "high" or the mental crutch I was leaning on for so long.
sleep has not been an issue so far bc the Remeron literally knocks me out.  it also gives me such an appetite that I'm eating like a horse.   also, remeron can cause constipation, so I think that is offsetting the diarrhea from dropping my dose so drastically.   I'd read somewhere that Remeron has been used for addiction treatment,  and I can see why.  I've had to take loperamide (Immodium) here and there for loose stools (sorry bout that) but it's been altogether not bad bathroom -wise.
I know when I jump off, that's when the poop will hit the fan though.
you're very right about opiate pain killers vs tramadol.  drug companies truly marketed tramadol to physicians as being the opposite of what it is.  tho the stigma seems to lie more w opiates in the medical community, opiates are much more benign it seems (tho not benign either).  we need to educate as best as we can...every physician u see, bring it up.  tell him or her about your knowledge, research, and personal experience with this stuff.   and I don't know about u guys, but I will be listing tramadol/Ultram/Ultracet as a DRUG ALLERGY on ALL of my medical records, in my wallet, etc so that it is never ever administered to me again (u could be in an accident,  unconscious and given this medication).  unfortunately since tram binds to opiate receptors, it stimulates them the same as opiates do...so we should all avoid opiate use in the future as well.   once you've been physically dependent on a substance,  your body recognizes it immediately when exposed to it again,  even years,after being clean.
was there any supplement u found to help with concentration and mental energy?  it feels like my mind is in slow motion right now.  I'm still adjusting to not being "high" all the time, and I have to say I like it.  
my plan, I think is to try to half the 1/4 (so 1/8 of a pill once a day, them move to taking that every other day, then every two days, every 3, then nothing.  is that prolonging things?  I'm just truly scared of seizures and tachycardia (heart rate over 100).  sustained tachycardia can result in blood clots-a good reason for those od us reducing or stopping tram to take fish oil (can help reduce clotting).  

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by L_Lady, Apr 30, 2013
something I've learned that u may bring up when educating physicians ...the molecular structure of tram is remarkably similiar to that of Effexor (an SNRI that is recognized in much of the medical community now as being absolutely terrible for getting off of and AD discontinuation syndrome).  Look them up...the pictures/diagrams of their structure.   urge whichever physician ur educating to look up the diagrams as well.

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by Jbean77, May 06, 2013
I am having a hard time getting any lower on my dose right now in my taper. I am feeling killer anxiety each time I try to lower and just haven't been able to. I had to change my doctor appt (supposed to be last week) this month because of work and can't get in until mid-June! I want up call my doc to tell him how I feel, to see if he can Rx something to help me through this to where maybe I can just drop these doses faster, while minimizing w/d symptoms, but I'm concerned about his NPs treating me like a "drug seeker" or "drug addict" again. I wish people understood the difference between that and simply taking the med & becoming dependent on it.

I've even looked up some W/D centers in the are, but all come with counseling, ect. I am not saying counseling would be bad but I'm not out buying pills, I'm not buying online. I'm taking my Rx. I don't want to be lumped in to that category. I don't know what exactly to do. I feel helpless until my appt mid-June. I don't wanna wait. I want to be done now!



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by L_Lady, May 06, 2013
JB,
The only thing I can think,  is ask for the MD to call you back.  U can say u have concerns about your prescriptions and feel u must speak to him about it.  

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by L_Lady, May 06, 2013
And if u have to taper slower,  taper slower.   Everyone is different and he needs to listen to u about how the tapering schedule is affecting u.  I really hope that your doc is reasonable.  

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by Sun81, May 09, 2013
I'm not sure how busy this room is anymore but I have read through so many stories on here and gotten a lot if wonderful ideas! I started cutting back on my tramadol 3 days ago. I was taking 8 per day. I went to 6 per day. I did it in 4 doses, so 1.5 a dose. Today, my 3rd day, I'm feeling much less anxious between doses. I had planned on decreasing my dose again tomorrow, so every 3 days unless my body is screaming at me. Debating on cutting 2 more or just 1.....I will probably try 2 and see how I feel. I was pretty irritable the past few days!


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by L_Lady, May 09, 2013
Sun,
Welcome :)  I've only been here a couple of days, but I can tell u, there are very supportive ppl here.  
I think the site has rules about giving out taper rec's, but what I will say is that it's definitely a personal thing.  The point of tapering is to make things as comfortable as possible,  and as safe as possible.   U may have a plan and end up doimg something different bc ur body tells u different.   For myself,  I just made the rule that if I dropped,  i'd never go back up.  If I have to stay at a certain level for a while, that's fine, but I won't go back up.  Its my way of trying to rewire the part of my brain that would reason out taking more and more (the addict part of me).  But that my not be right for u, or for someone else.  Everyone is different.  
Know that there are many ways to cut a pil...in half, in fourths, even in 8ths! So making it as  steep or as gradual  as u need it be is definitely possible.  
Msg me anytime if. U'd like.


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by james22778, May 14, 2013
wow its really quite in here

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by ruggedhands, May 15, 2013
OK, Today is my first day posting about, getting ready to get off Tramadol. I am up to 5 or 6,  50mg pills every 4 hours or so. I need to get off and stay off, this is my 4 or 5th year and most of the time has been slept away. My 14 year old wonders where his high energy dad went, and my wife wonders how I can go thru 3 jobs in two years...So I will commit to come here in the morning when I wake up, and read at least three or four entries. Sometimes I will post, sometimes not, but it is my plan to get off of this stuff by the end of the month. Today is 5-15-13, it's 5:38pm.
I hope this works!!!

Rugged

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by briankoe, May 16, 2013
Hello,

I have posted on a couple walls and figures I better post on this one, considering it is specific to tramadol. My name is Brian and I need a little help. I have taken tramadol for 4 years now and I have finally decided it's time to move on. I am slowly trying to kick it. I'm about four days in (since I made the decision) and I am down to taking 2 to 3 a day (up from about 8 to 10 a day).

I'm starting to get jitters and I am having difficulty trying to focus. I also feel like my head is spinning. I'm really looking for a community of people that can help me get through this.

I would appreciate any support. Thank you so much!

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by FourJays, May 17, 2013
Hello and welcome ruggedhands and briankoe!

SO glad you guys found this place; you will find tons of great information here within the stories of hundreds of people who have battled with the evil tramadol!  In case you don't know already, these pages go back years and were started by Emily Post back in 2008, the original "Tram Warrior", who wrote about her addiction to Tramadol and her journey through detox and withdrawal.  There have been many people who have come here over the years and told their stories; some that are still around and still check in regularly.  

It is great that you guys are tapering - that is the best way to do it and can help to lessen the withdrawal symptoms once you jump off completely.  We are not allowed to give or comment directly on tapering plans/amounts/schedules for safety reasons.  We are not doctors and do not know you medical histories.  I personally could not taper; I tried several times and just couldn't do it.  If the pills were around, I would find them and take them.  Which brings up an important point - to increase your chances of a successful taper it is best if you have someone else 'hold' your pills and give them to you per your plan.  Otherwise you must have the willpower to stick to the plan (this is where I failed every time).

There are quite a few members that have tapered successfully and in fact a few that are doing it right now.  If you read through the journal entries you can find some insight on this.  Please know that even with tapering you will likely have some feeling of w/d when you decrease each time.  There are lots of things that can help with these symptoms.  Check out the 'Thomas Recipe" (link on the main page or you can Google it) for some great suggestions of things to help.  Restless legs and arms are very common.  I found that extra potassium and/or magnesium helped a lot with this.  There are products out there specifically for this, "Restful Legs" is one (I found this at the vitamin shop) and I have heard about a product by "Hylands" that you can get at Walmart.  Also - a hot/warm bath/soak with Epsom salts is a HUGE stress reliever and will help with the restless feeling SO much.  I would light a few candles, put on some relaxing music and soak in the tub (literally for hours in the first days of detox).  

Another HUGE help at any stage of tapering or detox is exercise.  Even a short walk helps to start and then you can add a little every day or few days.  Getting the natural endorphins flowing will make you feel better while sweating out the toxins at the same time.  

Everyone's taper, detox and/or withdrawal is going to be different.  What works for one person may not work at all for another.  You will have to experiment and find out what makes you feel better and what doesn't.  Perfect example - Melatonin; a natural supplement that helps MANY with sleep.  This never worked for me; in fact it caused me to have bad dreams and definitely didn't help me sleep.  Yet others swear by it.  So as you go through and read about what products, supplements or activities worked for one person, take this as informative only; unfortunately there really isn't any universal thing or action that works for everyone.  Except ofcorse for GETTING OFF TRAMADOL - THAT IS GOOD FOR EVERYONE!!!

Good luck to you guys.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  Keep reading and posting.  And also check out the other forums here on MedHelp.  There is so much great information and support.  The Substance and Addiction Forum is really active and has people on it pretty much 24/7 that are working on getting off many different substances and/or have already done it and check in regularly to lend support and answer questions.

Hope to hear more from you guys....keep posting and let us know how you are doing!

Julie



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by briankoe, May 17, 2013
Thank you so much, Julie. I think this support system will help immensely.

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by L_Lady, May 17, 2013
Rugged and Brian,  you're definitely in the right place.  So many people here on different stages of their journeys.  Don't forget u can also write notes on people's "walls" and u can also send messages to people's inboxes.  Support is so important and I promise you will find it here.
On a personal note, day 9 clean for me.  Never going back!!!!

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by L_Lady, May 17, 2013
I truly believe that getting started on potassium and magnesium supplements as well as exercise before u start your taper (or as soon as possible)  help ward off some of the withdrawal symptoms.   I really mentally prepared myself that I wasn't going to feel good, and wasn't going to feel "normal" (or the way I felt the 5 yrs I abused Tramadol) and I'd have to fight through it.  I accepted that.  Being clean, being healthy, being responsible,  being honest...it's all worth the fight!

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by briankoe, May 17, 2013
Hi L-Lady, I'm just curious, I'm miserable on just two pills a day. I would like to see what 9 days clean feels like. Are you able to focus, with some of your energy back? Do you, or did you ever have those "brain zaps" (the best way I can describe them).

I would love to hear how you are doing after only 9 days. Thanks!

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by briankoe, May 17, 2013
I know with certainty that I'm never going back, but i'm just having difficulty seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

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by L_Lady, May 18, 2013
Brian,
Can I send you a private message?  I tend to type a lot. :)  

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by briankoe, May 18, 2013
Absolutely, that'd be great.

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by Jbean77, May 18, 2013
@ruggedhands- wondering how you are doing? Are you tapering or c/t? Keep posting.

@brian- I'm currently tapering too and am at 2/day. I have Always been rx'd 4/day but when I started this I was taking more like 6/day (back end of march/beg of April) bc I would take some of my husbands tram Rx. You tapered much faster than me but I am also at that level and really feeling it. I'm very tired at 2/day where when I was on more I was on the go go go. Do you have a limited amt to taper with?

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by briankoe, May 18, 2013
I do have a limited amount. I have like 10 or so pills left, and I'm trying to do 1 and 1/2 per day. I've already taken my 1 and 1/2 for today, and I'm actually not feeling too bad. I only have another few days to work with. I think I'll do okay with tapering with the rest of my pills, but I'm dreading next week when I'll be taking first day without any.

I know i'll get through it. I suppose it just takes time.

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by L_Lady, May 18, 2013
Its hard to look ahead to the first day you take none.  Try to stay busy and not focus on your body.  Once u get through that one day, you can look back and tell yourself that you CAN get through a day without it, bc u just did.  

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by pete649, May 19, 2013
I was put on Tramodal 20 years ago for Arthritic foot pain. In the past four months I asked my pain Dr. IF he thought that Tramodal would turn around and cause foot pain. Much to my surprize he said YES. I am now trying to withdrawl from this insideous pill. I was on 100mg twice a day 100 at supper and 100 at bedtime. I starded by tapering and got down to 1/2 pill (25mg) at supper and 1/2 at bedtime then I hit a wall. I stopped all dosage last week and went through 3 hours of violent DT's. I could not walk stand or remain motionless. I am 80 years old and my wife was afraid I might have a heart attack so she made me take 3/4 pill which after 1 1/2 hour the DT's stopped. I am a recovering alcoholic whose last drink was 39 years ago but never had a DT session like the tramodal episode.  My idiot pain Dr. still insists that I am dependent but not addicted so I quit him and am seeing a new pain Dr. tomorrow. I am still tapering but I don't know If i will be able to cut the pill down small enough to taper to the end. If I go out for the evening I take 3/4 so I won't have a DT session, mild as it may be, around company.
Is there any other way to quit other than tapering. I still get mild shaking and twisting at the 1/2 pill level. I can't cut the 1/2 pill to 1/4 on my pill cutter. Will I end up with DUST as a last dosage. I am not being funny I need advice from someone who has the same problem not a textbook doctor.
***@**** if you can help or post here under "pete649"

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by EmilyPost, May 19, 2013
20 years? Yes you'll need to taper if the cold turkey gave you DT's Pete.  Your system cannot handle it obviously and my heart goes out to you!

Nothing wrong with taking it slow.  I'm baffled by the dosing at night, as Tram usually keeps people awake.

The thing about cutting pills is that as you go lower, the percentage each time you cut will become higher.  So it can get tougher as you decrease.  Nothing wrong with pill dust or even using liquid at the end.

If you are at 200 mg, cutting 50 mg is 25%

But at 100 mg cutting 50 mg is a 50% drop.  The body will freak.

At 50 mg cutting 25 mg is 50% ....  The body will freak.

So if you can get it right ... and cut slow, probably with water ... you may have an easier time.

Tramadol eventually causes pain patients lots and lots and lots of pain.

So take it slow.

You are dependent, physically ... which means you will need to taper as slowly as you can.  You can dissolve a pill in water and drink half of it or 25% of it.  If you have enough pills.

I had to cut Klonopin this way.  No more than 10% every 14 days was what I did.  Benzos are scary, so I went as slowly as I could and it still beat me up really well.

I would say that when you see your new doc, you need to tell them about the DT's (which sound like pre-seizure activity to me) and ask them to get you a few benzo pills to decrease your risk of seizure as you withdraw.  Not a ton of benzos, jut a few pills as the Thomas Method indicates.  Xanax or Klonopin ... a few "rescue" doses ... that is what I would do and I am the least likely person to recc. benzos but ... I do not want you to have a full blown seizure.

I hope the new doc is a good one.

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by Jbean77, May 20, 2013
I posted this in the main forum but wanted to also post here: I have been on a plan to cut my tramadol dosage for the majority of 2 months. I am getting so frustrated with the fact that at 2 pills a day (0.5 every 6 hours) my body feels like its I'm constant w/ds. Today I'm trying to take 1 tab 2x a day to see if that helps. Yesterday I had my first big slip up because I felt exhausted from all these w/d symptoms. I'm disappointed with myself and although I keep telling myself that I will get right back on track I just keep feeling like its hopeless.

I want to call my docs office and talk to them about c/t now. My hesitation is that his nurses treat everyone like an "addict just looking for more pills" vs understanding that some people become dependent on a drug and aren't out just to get another Rx or going to get more of these pills on the street. As a migraine sufferer I've been lumped into the "fakers" category too many times that I really get upset with the way people are handled. Also, considering I've been prescribed this med for 18 months, consistantly, like many of us on MH it's only understandable that we get dependent/addicted. It's like doctors irresponsible prescribing becomes our fault.

But I digress. I am at a loss of what to do, kinda. I kinda know what I need to do but am unsure. I need to function but I need off this med. today I have the worst headache, I believe a rebound from my slip up yesterday and I'm just extremely frustrated. I don't want to give up but I feel like it.

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by EmilyPost, May 20, 2013
Don't give up Jbean77.

All of the stuff surrounding tramadol is crazy frustrating.  The Doctors, the denial of the drug and what it does.  Some still pretending like it's not a big deal.  It is a Big Deal to get off this stuff.  Anyone who has been thru it can tell you this AND anyone who has not has no clue. At all.  As if it doesn't exist.  I cannot even tell you how many people over the years have told me that Tram withdrawal was harder than Heroin.  

I am sorry you slipped up, but that's not any kind of ultimate failure.  It's just temporary.

You can do this.

Take a nice deep breath.  Try and get to a bathtub and take a long soak in the epsom salts.  Amazing how much water helps Tram withdrawal.

Huge massive reassuring hugs!

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by thestilly, May 20, 2013
For some reason today I am more thankful than most (I am am thankful everyday!) that I won (and continue to win) this battlle vs. tramadol.   Just reading these stories of those who have come through reminds me of what I went through and how they carried me across the finish line.  

DAY 160 NO TRAMADOL!  BOOYA!

The best day on tramadol does not hold a candle to the worst day off of tramadol.  Keep that in mind warriors and fight, fight, fight!

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by briankoe, May 20, 2013
That's great to hear, thestilly. I'll be down to no pills next week. I'm down to two a day right now and it's already a struggle, but manageable. Definitely dreading next week. I'm praying that getting through one week with no pills will make decent progress, hopefully with fewer withdrawal symptoms.

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by ImDONENoMore, May 20, 2013
It's funny that you say that, thestilly.  I feel exactly the same way.  Actually, maybe grateful.  Just plain old grateful.  AND of course, thankful that my life no longer revolves around this awful poison.

Everyone - he's right - your best day on tramadol doesn't come CLOSE to your worst day off tramadol.  Hang in there.  It gets better (OMG does it get better).  (it's nice to see you here, Emily!)

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by FourJays, May 20, 2013
Grateful is the PERFECT word!!!  Just being able to say I am OFF Tramadol and that it is OUT of my life gives me a little "high" better than the best one those nasty evil poison pills EVER did (for all of the 15 years they controlled my life)!

Every single minute of uneasy, discomfort is worth it.  I like to think of it this way....even if it takes a few weeks or even months (if you are tapering), to get this crap out of your life for good, this is a VERY small investment of your time versus what you will get in return - a lifetime of clean and healthy living.  And the fact that you NEVER have to go through this again.....priceless!!!

It does get better and better every day.  For anyone battling it right now, hang in there....freedom awaits.   :)

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by L_Lady, May 20, 2013
I'm only a few days in, and I don't feel great, but I do feel FREE.  no checking my purse before I leave the house to make sure they're there, no wondering if my son or anyone sees me taking them, no stopping what I'm doing to take pills all day long

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by Jbean77, May 20, 2013
You all are very inspirational. I find myself checking here all the time in times of weakness and when I need support.

Thanks for always sharing your stories even months, years afterwards.

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by Jbean77, May 20, 2013
L- you are doing an amazing job!

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by summerloven, May 20, 2013
So glad to see that people are making an effort to quit. If anyone has any advice please PM I am desperate, my husband and I have NO IDEA how to get him off of this pill. It is ruining our lives, 2 years and I am getting fed up. He wants to quit but we don't know how to properly taper so that he no longer has brain zaps, please add me and PM ME!

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by briankoe, May 22, 2013
Just want to give a quick update. I finally told my wife last night about how I've been hiding this from her for so long. She was mad at first, but she has said she will do everything she can to support me and all she wants to do is move forward.

That has eased so many of my burdens, because now I have the closest person to me to help me with this addiction. I have five pills left, so I'll be doing one per day until Monday. I'm making it on one ok, but it's still pretty painful. Still able to work, but still dreading next week.

Just reading all the stories on here has really helped. Thanks for your testimonies and support.

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by FourJays, May 22, 2013
briankoe - that is GREAT NEWS!!!  What a relief!  It seems like this happens to a lot of us....did to me too.  When I told my husband I was on day 2 of a c/t detox.  He was actually not surprised; I think it explained a lot to him.  Our situations are a little different.  Because I have had some pretty serious medical problems (all back/neck related) over the years, he was used to pills being around and my taking them 'regularly'.  But I know he had NO idea how much I was taking and that I was addicted to them.  At first he was upset (and I'm sure a bit hurt too); but telling him - spilling all the gory details - was the best decision I ever made in my life (well, second best; the first was to quit the Tramadol!).

He has been my rock ever since.  There have been (and continue to be) times that he may not fully understand how I am feeling about something, or my reaction to things, etc., because he has never had an addiction of any kind.  There is no way he can or will ever relate in that way.  But he is my #1 supporter and I honestly don't know if I would be 6 months clean if not for him.  SO - congratulations to you - you probably just increased your chances of success with this whole process a thousand fold!

Good luck with finishing up your taper....and keep posting with your progress.  It is not easy getting free of this med but it can be done.  Just remember that the physical symptoms are just that - symptoms.  Once you are completely off the Tramadol they will lessen and fade; it is all temporary.  Think of the ultimate goal - being clean and sober for life.  You will never have to go through this process again :)

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by Jbean77, May 22, 2013
Great job Brian! Please keep posting & let us know how you are doing. I'm opposite than you in I can't tell my husband. I believe he may be out buying pills, and I don't think letting this out to him when I'm on him to figure out what the heck a going on with him .... Would work.   I never purchased extra tram, but became dependent after taking it for awhile like many others. This would be a million times easier if I could tell, so great job on that!

On a side note...I have been pushing my doses wider apart the past 2 days after my taper "slip up"  yesterday I made it 8 hours in between each if 3 pills (I typically was taking them every 6) and just now I went 10 hours.....we will see where this takes me

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by briankoe, May 22, 2013
Thank you so much for listening. It's just a huge wait off my shoulders, and she has been checking in on me all day. I will keep posting. I almost went 24 hours without a pill today. I really wanted to get to that 24-hour mark. I was kind of miserable this afternoon, but I just about made it. Feeling a little better now, but mainly just proud that I made it that long without a pill.

Four pills left, so next week will be the big test. I wish you well Jbean77, and I'd love to hear how you are doing as well. God bless.

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by ImDONENoMore, May 22, 2013
You can do this, brian.  Don't overthink it and don't set your expectations too high for feeling better too soon.  Once you're off them for good, it will hurt for a while.  And then it will stop hurting.  You'll see.  :)

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by Jbean77, May 22, 2013
Just wondering if anyone else has experience with this.  I am trying to space apart my pills, just push myself for extra time in between to wean down. I went 10 hours between this mornings pill and my 2nd. Then while I was being active this evening my heart was like pounding outta my chest. I took a 3rd pill for the day only about 4 hours later. Right now I'm still doing decent. I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do to help this....am I maybe spacing it too far too soon? After my slip up on Sunday
I went from every 6 hours to every 8 yesterday and made it 10 today. Just wondering if I'm like gonna hurt my heart or something.

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by L_Lady, May 23, 2013
Brian,  24 hours w no tram...that's got to feel good.  Focus on the positive of that.  That u CAN go 24 hours without it.  I don't know about u but I couldn't imagine I could do that until I did it.  Then I felt so encouraged by it.  Think about how encouraging it will be to go 48 hrs...72 hrs...96 hrs...

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by briankoe, May 23, 2013
I know it! Not feeling great physically (naturally), but I do feel like that's great progress.

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by FourJays, May 23, 2013
Brian - it IS great progress!  Baby steps....it's all worth it; hang in there :)

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by chocoholic0211, May 24, 2013
Hi everyone:) I am on day 1 of my tramadol recovery journey. I decided to do it cold turkey just because tapering seemed like prolonging the misery. I've been taking between 100-250mg a day for about a year. I was prescribed this medication for severe headaches as the only 2 meds that worked for me were tramadol and oxycodone. Out of the two my doctor and I both agreed that it is safer to stick to tramadol. Unlike some of you, my doctor warned me about the antidepressant properties and the withdrawal symptoms associated with prolonged use of tramadol so I made that decision fully aware of what was in store later. I have been officially headache-free for the last 4 weeks so it's time to stop. I know there is a tough road ahead of me but I'm keen to embark on it and fight to freedom. I'm almost at the 24 hour mark since my last capsule so I'm assuming the withdrawal symptoms will kick in very soon now.

It's very encouraging that so many of you have been successful in recovering from this addiction- well done guys!

Good luck to those of you who are tapering or going ct at the moment! We can do this! (haha I wonder how high my optimism levels will be tomorrow at this time;)...)

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by LisaH_NYC, May 24, 2013
Hi everyone, and I am sorry about my absence. So many of you were wonderful and supportive as I tried to taper a few months back, but every time I got down to 1.5 pills, I found it impossible. I would jump back to 2 or 3 a day. I felt like a failure but in the back of my mind, I knew it would take a total lack access to them to really make me stop.

A lot has happened since I came here in a panic with my last prescription of tramadol a few months back. I was weaning from 3 a day, down to 2 a day...Well, it turned out not to be my last. I was able to order 1 or 2 more times online before the site caught me as a New Yorker having her meds sent to New Jersey. (NY is one of the recent states to change the drug schedule class on Tram to make it harder to get online without prescription in NY.) After 5 years of loyal service by me as a repeat customer, they cancelled my order, and told me until I proved residency in NJ, they could not refill for me again. I had less than a week of pills left. I was forced to wean more quickly, my formerly supportive husband was smug and said good, now what are you going to do... and when I literally had 2 pills left, I went to my GP and confessed. I was terrified that he would tell me I was going to have to go to a treatment facility; I am worried about losing my job.  Instead, he gave me suboxone and gave me a quick taper schedule for it. I was grateful. The addict in me thought, kewl, another week of getting high. Wrong.
I took the suboxone just ONCE. I threw up for 18 hours straight. However, after that, I felt no withdrawal symptoms other than restless legs. That was 2 weeks ago.
So I was done, right? Well, Fate has a sick sense of humor.  I sat down on a NY subway a while back, and next to me was a pharmacy bag. I opened it. 18 Tylenol #3.  Are you kidding me? No one in the seat, no one noticed as I picked it up and carried them off the train.  I took them all, 1 or 2 a day.
So technically, its been just 2 days without any pain meds in my system. How am I? I am an angry, tearful, restless, and scariest of all, an ungrateful person being off this medication. I feel forced off this drug; it was not a decision, it was forced on me. I loved the energy it gave me, the freedom from depression, the buzz that was light and pleasant and did not interfere with daily activities. It was a dream drug for me.
Today alone, I have thought about moving to another state, like NJ, just to get my drugs back. I thought about breaking a bone or burning myself to get pain meds. I hate this feeling of anxiety, depression and nothingness. I thought about ordering from overseas companies, but the fear of them sending me rat poison, or cleaning out my bank account through ACH payment stopped me so far. I have flirted with fantasies of using my keys to get into the old lady next door's house... she must have SOMETHING for me to take...I fantasize about robbing the pharmacy. I think about doctor shopping for stupid doctors who will give me my drug back. I think of going to sleazy parks and neighborhoods to try to find a dealer...  I obsessively bang my rattle like a child who can't have more chocolate pudding for dessert.
I even thought about drinking again, and I have not touched a drop since my alcohol detox 17 years ago. I am a sober fish out of tramadol water. My thoughts scare me but I am sure they are not so far different than those of other addicts.
When does the mental obsession stop? I went back to my doc 2 days ago, he gave me an antidepressant to help with my complaints of crying, restless legs, and lack of energy.  I have not yet picked it up; Its been 10 years since I needed an antidepressant: I took Prozac 10 years ago when my dad died of cancer at 58 years old.
I want to say I am grateful to be done with this sick cycle of $250 a month orders, counting pills, worrying about shipments, and lying to my husband that I swear, this is the last time. Right now, I am angry, uncomfortable to be sober, my legs are driving me insane, and my mind still searches for SOME WAY to get more.
This is addiction, no doubt about it; its ugly and disgusting, and I hope (so far refuse to pray or go to meetings) it will get better in time.
I am reading the gratitude posts and crying, feeling like the worst of the bunch of you.

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by L_Lady, May 24, 2013
Brian,  u feel like poop on the bottom of a shoe now, but Ur not going to feel like that forever.
Keep fighting the good fight.

Choco, congrats on quitting.   No matter what, leave that stuff in your past.  People here are so supportive and understanding.   Friend people, message them, stay in touch...its incredibly helpful.

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by briankoe, May 26, 2013
Congrats and good luck to you two. Today is my last pill, so tomorrow is the first day of a pill-free lifestyle. We shall see how it goes.

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by FourJays, May 26, 2013
Good luck Brian - you can do this :)

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by L_Lady, May 26, 2013
Brian,  
You are strong and determined.   Keep the reasons you're doing this in the forefront of your mind as u travel through this.  
A tram free life awaits u. :)

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by chocoholic0211, May 26, 2013
Brian- good luck!!!! Don't doubt yourself and dare to start a new clean life and you will do beautifully!

My quitting has been put on hold for a while in order for me to treat an ear infection- at least that's what my doctor thinks I'm doing... but I am trying to taper a little bit anyway ;).

L_Lady, thanks for the great advice. Social support is so so important while dealing with any problem but even more so when dealing with dependence/addiction so we all need each other very, very much!

Good luck to everyone- whichever step of this journey you are at currently!

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by briankoe, May 27, 2013
Well, I somehow convinced myself to flush my last pill (which I was going to take yesterday). At noon, I'll be about 48 hours in. Not feeling too great, but functional. Mainly just fatigued and getting those ocassional "brain zaps." Surprisingly I slept pretty well last night. I'm mainly just excited that I'm almost at the 48-hour mark.

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by L_Lady, May 27, 2013
BRIAN!!!  Welcome to being drug free .  I'm so excited you're on your way,  keep posting :)

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by L_Lady, May 27, 2013
Choco,
Ur on ur way too.  So excited for both of u.  

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by Jbean77, May 27, 2013
Amazing job Brian!

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by chocoholic0211, May 27, 2013
Awesome Brian! :) I am so excited for you!!! I so want to be there too :P.

I managed to "taper" from 250 to 100mg over the last few days- reasoning that if I'm already sick, an additional bit of discomfort shouldn't be that bad, which turned out to be true for the most part.



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by FourJays, May 27, 2013
That is great chocoholic.....how are u feeling today ?


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by L_Lady, May 27, 2013
Choco,
SO awesome.  Every drop u take, the closer u get to freedom :)

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by chocoholic0211, May 27, 2013
Thanks guys :). I think I'm feeling okay under the circumstances. The most annoying at this point is the headache, it is a little bit better in the dark or with eyes closed so I'm trying to do that.

FourJays and L_Lady- have a good night (I think :D) :-)

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by briankoe, May 28, 2013
Thank you all. I'm moving along. As you say, L_Lday, it's not fun physically, but I do feel free. Last night was probably the worst, but today I've been getting along ok. Struggling with energy, but none of those obnoxious brain zaps.

I'm just looking forward to Thursday. I anticipate that I will be feeling a lot better by then. Tomorrow will be day four, so I might even feel a lot better by then.

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by L_Lady, May 28, 2013
Day 4.. that's fantastic.  
Just think,  if society collapses u won't have to worry about not being able to get your pills.
Kidding ;)  really tho, the rest of your life without that burden.  
You'll get to feeling better.  The lack of energy is rough, but keep on pushing through.   Force yourself to get out and do things, exercise,  etc.  

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by L_Lady, May 28, 2013
Choco,
I had/have headaches but it seemed like they were worse or magnified while on Tramadol.  Funny how that works.  I find now I can just trudge thru it, or if its bad, take one ibuprofen and I'm set.

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by chocoholic0211, May 28, 2013
Congrats on day 4 Brian! As you say you should be feeling better very soon :).

L_Lady,you are right it's funny how it affects everyone differently. Tramadol was the only thing that my headaches responded to- if it magnified them, I don't think I would have kept taking it because I absolutely hate some of the side effects that I never developed tolerance to.That is: throwing up (every time I am in a car/bus or go jogging and no movement is required to induce a barf every time I increase the dose by 50mg), feeling tired and lacking energy, and being itchy everywhere! Luckily, my headaches were 99.9% nocturnal so I never had to take any tramadol during the day but late afternoons and evenings sucked! No evening jogging for me :P No long car rides, unless with a lot of stops.

I went down to 50 mg last night (waited till 9pm to take it) and went for a run before that- it felt awesome and I didn't feel sick!!!! Seeing that I need to show my face at work tomorrow and to actually use my brain power to produce something measurable ;), I'm thinking I will stay at 50mg for a few days and then stop for good on Friday :).

My symptoms so far are mostly headaches, dizziness and feeling cold, of which headaches are the worst but these are not the passing out headaches that I used tramadol for thank goodness.

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by L_Lady, May 28, 2013
Choco,
I had migraines before the tram, and tram did help the headaches, but after taking it a while, I realize that my pain was worse...like it made me need it more.  If that makes any sense.  :)  that was something I couldn't see until I got way down into my taper.    
Crazy it made u barfy mcbarferson!  The stuff is crazy, that's fot sure.
How cool you can do a run now.  Geez I can't say in words how helpful exercise has been both for the addiction and my mental health issues.   I'm really glad you're getting your freedom back.   Long car rides and jogs...bring it!

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by chocoholic0211, May 28, 2013
Yes, it makes sense L_Lady and rebound headaches are a common problem with all pain meds. My doctor warned me it could happen but I guess I was lucky this time:). Tramadol reduced the intensity of the pain from around 10 (when I would pass out without it) to around 5-6, which was still annoying but bearable. Maybe if I took a higher dose it would work better but I just wasn't able to tolerate the physical side effects to do that. At the begining I felt so crappy after taking it that I waited too long before I took it hoping I wouldn't need it. The end result was me being unconscious yet again and my doctor giving me a lecture on how irresponsible I was in how I preferred to injure myself (during passing out) just to avoid some "minor" physical discomfort. After a few times like that I gave in, although I never managed to get to the full daily dose that my neurologist recommended. When it was getting really bad, they would give me oxycodone but never more than 20 tablets at a time and that would work better than tramadol and the side effects weren't that bad but I was just lying in my bed, looking at the ceiling and feeling happy with no motivation or energy to even move my limbs ;) so it wasn't too good for a long-term plan obviously :D.

And yes, exercise is great for both physical and mental health :). Unless it becomes an addiction.... then it is not good :P.

Freedom is awesome. Bring it on :D.

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by L_Lady, May 28, 2013
Have they done a workup to find out why you're having debilitating headaches like that?  I know with migraines they prefer to put you on something to take every day as a preventative (like topamax, a tricyclic antidepressant, etc).  

It's wild to me that a doc would encourage you to take tram when you have effects like that.  Its your body telling you "no" and I'd hate think what could happen if your reactions to it became worse.  

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by L_Lady, May 28, 2013
Oh, and I don't know about other people, but exercising becoming an addiction for me right now in recovery is highly unlikely.  it's so hard sometimes to force my currently slow-motion recovery body into action lol

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by chocoholic0211, May 28, 2013
I'm taking an AED every day as well but I will PM you more details :)

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by booba77, May 29, 2013
Hey guys. I haven't been on lately. Still heavy on the trams, but desperate to get off the evil demon pills. I think I will have to taper. I have rebounded so, many times from cold turkey, that i feel I need to retrain my brain. I'm glad to see the same loving, supportive atmosphere that I remember so well. would like to.do a slow taper, but with no support and little to no willpower it will be difficult.  My brother was missing for about a year, but they.found his remains last November, so we were able to have a little closure even though.we still have no idea what happened to him or how he died. I dreamt about him last night, and I feel, like it.was a sign to.get off this.crap and.get my life back together. So how is.everyone? Lots of new people I see. So new y'all probably.don't remember me, but that's okay. I wish everyone well. This is a wonderful place for support, venting, making friends in the same boat, etc. I will be happy to help answer any.questions, as I have been on this stuff.for about 7 years on and off at about 20+ a day. It is without a doubt three most difficult thing to withdraw from, and it is totally addictive.

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by booba77, May 29, 2013
The most difficult. I hate my phone!

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by ImDONENoMore, May 29, 2013
booba it's nice to see you here again... but I'll be honest..  I have no idea what will help you at this point.. I really do think you need rehab.  I would love to see you succeed.  But my fear is your way isn't working.  You have been a member here for years.  I remember those early days.  And my fear now is that you need more help than this forum can provide and I hope you get that help. I really do.  I think about you and I've written you since you disappeared.  I am at a loss now as to how to help.  Please, PLEASE, think about inhouse rehab.  Tramadol... this **** is so bad... and it has its hooks in you and I so want to see you get better.  But I no longer have any idea how to help you.

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by ImDONENoMore, May 29, 2013
And don't misunderstand, I realize that my words and my opinion might make no difference to you at all.  And I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.  But I think at this point, nothing else but harsh is going to get through to you.  I'm sorry it's not in my nature to be this way.  But I can't bite my tongue anymore on this.  You need HELP.  And in-person help, not something a forum alone can do.. please get that help.  You are worth it. :)

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by booba77, May 29, 2013
I probably need to hear that. Tough love, as they say. I have a billion valid reasons why I couldn't do in-house rehab, and most of them are due to family responsibilities, and lack of financial resources. I don't.really know what.else to say. I probably should have just lurked for awhile.  I would.be willing to go to an.addiction doctor/specialist outpatient. I hate the thought of trying suboxone, because it just prolongs the inevitable, but I, know it has helped people. I feel like a loser, or a running,joke on this website now. But that's nothing new. I probably can't do it on my own. I haven't before, what makes me think I'm strong enough to do it now? Never been able to taper before, so I probably couldn't do it, now.  Yeah I don't know what to say except that you are right on all counts.

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by ImDONENoMore, May 29, 2013
Yeah, that all sounds good.  But what are you willing to DO this time around to make a difference?  Only you can answer that question.

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by ImDONENoMore, May 29, 2013
Oh and no, I don't consider anyone here a "running joke".. addiction kills people.  Nothing funny about that.

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by booba77, May 29, 2013
I miss this being a no judgment zone. I don't know what I'm going to DO. I came here for help, support, and guidance to figure it out.  

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by ImDONENoMore, May 29, 2013
I'm not judging, I was where you are right now and it's hard for me to see this situation not changing for you.  I will keep to myself, I definitely meant no offense.  And I will always wish you well.

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by booba77, May 29, 2013
I know. I'be been in this boat for 7 long years. I need to hear it. I really do. I have to do something to change it. Now it's time for me to figure out how. I appreciate the help and concern. Don't keep to yourself.  Let it out. I know you.are right. It isn't what I want to hear, but it is what I need to hear.

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by ImDONENoMore, May 29, 2013
GOOD.  And that means you can no longer keep a defensive position about all of this (besides, isn't it exhausting to be defensive?  I know it exhausted the hell out of me).  It's time to stop defending yourself and listen and learn from those who came before you.  I'm no better or worse than anyone else, and I'm definitely not confused about that.  But it came to a point where I knew I had to stop fighting, stop defending my position, and just find a way to do it.  And that's possible for you.  But YOU have to be the one to take the first step.  So does this mean you have no drugs in your possession right now?  Or are you panicking because you're about to run out (again)?

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by booba77, May 29, 2013
No I have enough to do a taper.

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by EmilyPost, May 29, 2013
(((booba77)))  No one here would ever ever think of you as a joke. This crap is horrible.

But quitting is something that has to come from the center of your soul.  Go to War.  Find the center of the Real You.  The one that you know is unshakeable.  I know that Tramadol likes to lie and say it's better than the fundamental "you."  But Tramadol is a liar and will kill you.  It wants you dead.

Is there someway that you could find more support?  Something face to face?  

I am also so very very sorry to hear about your Brother.  I am sorry for your loss and I know your Brother would not want you addicted to the crap.  

You are in a judgment free zone.

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by chocoholic0211, May 30, 2013
(((booba77))), I am one of the new ones here so you don't know me but that's ok- we can change that :).

I agree that it could be beneficial for you (and anyone else for that matter) to get some professional help as well as our support here. Quitting and getting through withdrawal is hard but it is just one part of the recovery- figuring out why you are doing this and learning to deal with the things that prevent you from getting clean or staying that way is another part and is also very important, if not more important for the long-term success. You don't have to go for an in-patient treatment if you are not able to do so but I think it could be very helpful if you signed up for some addiction therapy- not just addiction doctor to help you physically through withdrawal. I live in Australia and a lot of outpatient therapy programs with weekly sessions are run by hospitals so you might want to check this out in your country.

Having a therapist who you can talk to freely and see regularly would be a huge additional source of support. It could also help you figure out a lot of things you might not be able to realise by yourself. However, I heard that in the US they are still big on those "confrontational interventions"- please stay away from those programs because they are more evil than any substance of abuse. Go for something that uses motivational interviewing. It is much more effective and with the right therapist it can be a life-saver, not only for addiction problems, but for getting a better idea of your direction in life in general.

That said, this is your decision to make and only you can take the next step. No one can do this for you and unfortunately forcing someone into rehab is as good as doing nothing at all. As Emily said- it needs to come from within you. It's clear you want to change, otherwise you wouldn't be seeking support here, but you are scared and more so because your past attempts weren't as successful as you had hoped for. That's why I think it would be helpful for you to talk to a GOOD therapist to work through that fear as well as things that worked well and didn't work last time. This way you can re-use the strategies that worked but also anticipate any obstacles to recovery that pushed you off the road in the past. If you anticipate problems, you can plan for them and deal with them better when they arise. It is really, really helpful to have another objective person to advise you on this.

But we will be here regardless of what you decide to do. We don't want to judge you but you need to understand that people who have dealt with addiction have a lot of emotion invested here and this can sometimes come across as judgement. And I am not saying that social support of people who KNOW what you are going through emotionally and physically isn't important- it is and it can work wanders. But if you combine both approaches- you double your chances of success and I think that's what you want.

I'm sorry if this post comes across as directive but I just wanted to explain why I think it would be good for you or everyone in general not to be afraid to seek outside help. But it is not the only way to success- there are other ways to do this so keep an open mind and decide what's best for you because you know yourself best after all!

And I'm really, really sorry about your brother's death. Take care and post here as much as you need!

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by chocoholic0211, May 30, 2013
Also, I really don't know the American health system but here in Australia universities run free psychology clinics where postgraduate psychology students provide free therapy. It might be an option if you cannot afford regular therapy. And don't be afraid that those are students- they might not be very experienced yet but they for sure are very empathetic, open-minded and will do anything to help you. They are also up-to-date with the therapeutic interventions that are effective in treating addiction problems and won't end up causing more damage.


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by booba77, May 30, 2013
Thanks for posting everyone. I'm not avoiding you, but late as usual. Will post, more later.

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by booba77, May 30, 2013
Choco-Australia sounds fabulous. The US doesn't hadn't anything like that here. Only for beauty schools.....lol. Didn't have time to count what I had this morning. Off to work. Gonna google local programs and addiction centers after I put my daughter to bed tonight.

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by briankoe, May 30, 2013
I wish you luck, booba. I agree that so much of it is willpower.

Update for myself: On day 5 and I am doing well, even emotionally. I think the withdrawal symptoms are mostly gone (no more brain zaps!). It's hard to determine, though, because I just picked up a pretty nasty cold from my wife, so I think that's the reason why I'm still feeling pretty crummy. But I'm pretty sure it's not the tramadol withdrawals that are making me feel that way.

I can finally see the light!


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by L_Lady, May 30, 2013
Brian,
Day 5...SO excited for you!  The rest of your life awaits u my friend.   Colds happen to the best of us.
  Again,  I'm so glad you're with us and keeping up the fight.  Keep knocking those days down and focusing on the positive ...that you're getting you back.

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by L_Lady, May 30, 2013
Booba,
I pray you will do what u have to to quit for good, no matter how drastic or if u have to put ur life on hold to do so.  
There are really not many options when it comes to substance abuse...keep going as u are and have it eventually kill u, or go thru what u have to to quit and let your body heal.
Emily is right...the drug lies to u.  Its fantasy that u can just take it forever.  U can't.   It will eventually take your life, whether it be sudden,  or slowly over time.  I don't want that for you! Ignore any past failures and focus on now, the present.    
Please keep us updated.  

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by KC67, May 30, 2013
Hello fellow Tram warriors.

I'm KC.  

Have I been here before?

Yup.  I quit Tram after I discovered Emily's journal in 2009.  I lurked for about a year and then made the jump in 2010.  Soon after quitting Tram, I decided I wanted to get off my Xanax and Effexor.  Wow!  What a mistake.  Emily warned me, "one thing at a time KC", but I was so sick and tired of pills that I just couldn't bear putting them in my body anymore.

I remember making it to day 67 and thinking, "Wow.  I did it!  I made it."

I felt pretty normal again, although I was still suffering from the Effexor and/or Xanax withdrawals (an entirely different hellish withdrawal).  I remember Tram's strong voice rationalizing with me saying, "KC, you have successfully been through the worst of it and you are no longer considered an 'addict'.  Why don't you take me just occasionally - like a normal person would?  You know you will never become addicted  again because of what you have been through.  Just 1 day won't hurt"

Long story short....I listened to the voice and obeyed it.

Since I took that one little Tram back in 2010, I have been lurking at this site while going through an addiction/withdrawal roller coaster.  In the past 3 years, I have managed to quit for about 30-40 days max.  Then the Tram voice would convince me to just take it for 1 day.  It won't hurt anything.  

Lies!

This drug has ruined my life.  I feel like my kids don't really even know their mom.  I used to be fun, loved to sing, loved to laugh, loved to plan vacations.  I have become this horrible anxious, depressed, anti-social shell of a human being.  I don't enjoy being around people anymore and have pushed away so many of my dear friends and family members.  I hate it when the phone or doorbell rings.  And I hate myself for being in this situation again.

As so many have said, "this drug eventually turns on you" .  Each time I quit and restarted, I loved the energy and the way it made me more social in the beginning.  But soon it turns you into a shell  of what I just described.  It's no fun anymore and it becomes something you need to take just to get through the day.  

So, I come here to seek support and to hopefully support others.  

I am very scared.  

Because after 2 years of quitting/withdrawing/starting up again, I KNOW the power of this drug.  It has claws and they sink deeply into your soul- so when you try to rip them out, the pain is too much.

Booba, I remember you from way back in the journal and I feel your pain.  This drug steals your very soul - and makes you believe you will never be yourself again.  I hate Tram with all my being.  But I still have a glimmer of hope.  

So, June 2nd, I am jumping off the Tram train once again.  

May God help all of us trying to quit this devil drug.



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by L_Lady, May 30, 2013
And Emily is also right about your brother ...there's no way he'd want this for u.  He'd want u happy and healthy and free from a bottle of pills.

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by L_Lady, May 30, 2013
KC,I'm so glad your quitting.   Do you get rid of your "stash" when u quit?  Make sure u throw them away/flush them, make any prescribing docs aware of your addiction so u can keep it out of your life.  Delete contact info for anyone u were maybe buying them from on the side, if that's the case.  
You CAN do this. I know  You would never want this for your kids, a.d its time to be proud of the example you're showing them.  Happy, healthy life off of Tramadol is obtainable.

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by L_Lady, May 30, 2013
KC, I ask bc you mentioned God...have u tried going to a church and getting linked in with Sunday school classes,  service, etc?  That is something that has helped me so so so much.  The ppl on this site are so encouraging and supportive,  but u already know that. :)  in-person ppl, whether it be n/a meetings or a small Sunday school class, etc can be so helpful too.  Gets u out of the house, out of your own head, and helps keep u busy.

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by booba77, May 30, 2013
LLady-thank you for the kind words and encouragement. these pills truly do destroy your life to the point that you think you will never get it back. I've been on it so long that I don't even remember who I an, or who I was. Today I'm amiserable overweight mother of one who is lucky enough to have a wonderful family and.fabulous job. The problem is me and my secret addiction.

KC-I'm glad to hear you are giving up the tram. Are you going cold.turkey our have you tapered? I always end up going cold turkey from a ridiculously high dose, only to rebound many, months later from the soul crushing depression and emptiness. This time I'm tapering and seeking help from either an addiction doctor or.center. I don't think i.e. can.do it on my own. So I've been one less.team. Each day for about 4 days now, but I don't feel any.withdrawals yet. Once I count my pills I will be able to come up with.a taper schedule.

I know exactly how you.feel, especially when it comes to my.daughter. I feel like she doesn't know the real me at all either. I'm a shell of.ag person whose only escape is work every.day. I dread any social interaction as well, but honestly I was like that before the trams to some extent.

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by booba77, May 30, 2013
Quick question for anyone it applies to-has anyone successfully quit tramadol by using suboxone? If so, what.was the experience like? I know some people say it is trading one drug.for another, and it is mainly for opiate dependency, but I know some people here have.tried it.  

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by L_Lady, May 30, 2013
Booba,
It sounds so familiar.   I didn't know who I was bc id been the tram version of me for so long.  Then there were ppl who'd only known me on tram.  I'm still discovering who I am bc I'm still so early on in this.  But I'm finding I'm more motivated to do things and get myself out there to engage in activities (not the burst of hypomania tram gives...a steady stream of the ability to stay accountable to my responsibilities) .  The depression is nothing new to me...its something I'm trying to stay ahead of...exercise every day, stay busy, and stay connected to people.  I make myself reach out to people and get myself out of the house.  Especially when I don't want to...when I want to just wallow by myself.
I understand that I'm an addict and that I can't take part in anything mind altering again.   No narcotics, no drinking,  nothing.   And all my pills, codeine cough syrup,  etc went out with the trash.   I didn't want to die like that...selfishly screwed up on some pills.  And girl, I don't want u to either.  
I would be scared to move to suboxone, but that's just me.  Part of the taper for me was getting used to the experience of being sober gradually.  
I guess your best bet is to speak to someone professional and get advice on what u should do moving forward.


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by hopingforhealing, May 30, 2013
Hello everyone, I have been off Tramadol now for 21 days. I have been taking it for almost 7 years. It started after a car accident. Lawyers sent me to doctors who prescribed pain pill after pain pill which ultimately led to a lot of bills, a fibromayalgia diagnosis, and a bottomless tramadol supply. After being on tramadol for a few years I approached my doctor that was prescribing it to me and told him that I believe that I was addicted to it, and that when I stopped taking it I was experiencing withdrawals. His response was that Tramadol does not cause withdrawals, and that what I was experiencing was only Fibromayalgia, and so he upped my dosage. Once a year I return to him, pay $80 dollars for a five minute visit, and he upped my dosage. About a month ago I got this idea that maybe I dont have fibromayalgia at all, maybe the source of my phantom pain was caused by the thing that was supposed to be treating it in the first place, Tramadol. Tramadol stole the last 7 years of my life. My whole life revolved it. 3 weeks ago I made the decision not to refill my prescription and not to go back to that doctor. I let the pills run out and made it 2 days through cold turkey withdrawals before I panicked and tried to get help. 1st I contacted my regular physician, bc I didnt want to go back to the other doctor who always assured me they werent addicting. My reg physician refused to scedule an appt for me and told me to go to the emergency room, after I tried to explain to him that a $1000.00 emergency room trip wasnt necessary, that I just needed his help, I gave up on him and tried a inpatient rehab place, they told me I would not fit into there and suggested a sister outpatient program, they refused to help me...then urgent care.. no help either they sent me to a local doctor down the street that finally was willing to help. He prescribed clonidine for sweats, a stomach medicine, and trazadone to sleep (which didnt make me sleep, but I dont think anything would have) so the withdrawals were horrible the the hope that they would soon be over got me through it.. but its 3 weeks later and my stomach is still messed up, I am still not sleeping right, and I have this horrible muscle pain in my back that never really gives me relief. So my mind wanders back to fibromayalgia, and the thought that this pain is something that I have to deal with for the rest of my life is insanely overwhelming! Its a hopeless feeling, to have such pain with no way to relieve it. So I find this forum with people months clean still having Tramadol withdrawals... could it still be the tramadol? I want to get pregnant in a month so taking more meds no matter what they are is not an option, but the thought that this could be tramadol still is both relieving and freightning. Its better than the alternative of pain forever, but if it is tramadol how long will the pain last? I cant express enough how stressful and overwhelming this radiating pain  through my body is and not sleeping , and what is worst is that there is no relief! no light at the end of the tunnel. I do not remember having pain like this before tramadol, but then again I dont remember what the non tramadol me was like anymore. I just want my life back, and im not sure if im being logical or in denial...

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by booba77, May 31, 2013
Hoping for healing-I'm so distraught at the people who would, not help you. That is totally believable though with the way the doctors test tramadol. It is very.addictive. I've been on and off it.for 7 years as well. Going cold turkey.can be.dangerous, and.scary, but I'm glad you got some clonidine and stomach meds. I was.also on trazadone for years for sleeping. It really takes a long time to.get through you're system, but it will help with.sleep, probably not in the.early.days of.WDs . I'm sorry.about.all the periods and crummy punctuation but I hate my phone. As for where you.are today, I think you need to find a decent Dr to properly diagnose you in regards to the fibromyalgia. Then.see a pain, management doctor based on the findings. I'm not entirely.sure that what is going on with you is related to  tramadol. Don't get me wrong, the withdrawals can last a long time, especially since you were on it for 7 years, but it seems to me you are.dealing with something other than phantom pain. Can someone else weigh in here? This is just my opinion, but there are others here with much more know how in this department.

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by booba77, May 31, 2013
Congrats on being.21 days out. I'm doing.a. Slow taper while.searching for a doctor or outpatient clinic to help. Although from your experience, I'm not so.sure much help is out there for tramadol addicts. You will get you're life back  with time and proper support. And you shouldn't have to live in pain. Just need to.find out what is going on and.what is right for you

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by EmilyPost, May 31, 2013
Hoping for Healing, 21 days after 7 years on Tramadol is not long enough to make any decisions about much. It's still the tramadol withdrawal that is causing your problems.  Classic and exactly what I experienced.  I think it was 48 days or more before I really felt Tramadol leave the building.

I hope you are taking huge amounts of vitamins and eating anything that will speed up your digestion and help get the Tramadol out of your intestines. Lots of water, mineral baths.  The back pain was helped with Epsom salt baths.  And ice packs and heating packs.

I felt like I had Fibromyalgia because the Tramadol turned on me.  It was horrifying.  

Give yourself more time and try to find alternatives that will calm you and relax you til this crapola clears your body.  SO sorry you are going thru this.  All the people who would not help you ... should have to cold turkey withdraw from Tramadol.  

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by L_Lady, May 31, 2013
Its crazy hpw there are atill docs amd even addiction specialists who don't know tramadols addictive properties.   We need to educate for sure.
I think booba is prob right Hoping.   The pain seems like it could be related to something else.  Where I.live, there is a fibromyalgia specialist ...don't go to him but know of him through my work.   He gets patients off of a lot of their meds and does a thorough workup, including a sleep study, before he officially dignoses fibromyalgia.  Its basically a disease of exclusion bc the symptoms are so generic and could be a part of other diseases.   To properly diagnose it, docs have to (or should be) rule everything else out first.  U could be having pain from a number of sources...neurological /spinal,  etc.  U deserve a proper workup instead of being doped up by a doc who doesn't seem to care about what's best for u.  
But no matter what, going back to tramadol is NEVER the answer.  Leave that stuff in the past.  21 days girl, u should be proud.

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by L_Lady, May 31, 2013
Well, if Emily was having pain like that that many days after quitting,  I guess its possible it is the tram.  .  Everybody can be so different.   I've had aches and pains here and there, but nothing I couldn't and didn't ignore.  

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by booba77, May 31, 2013
Yeah I would definitely listen to Emily.  She is our foremost expert, and the.creator of this wonderfully helpful place. I do remember, my back wrenching up Weeks after I had quit the pills. Try to get in a sauna if you.can and try to.sweat out the trams. I've never done it, but people on here say it helps. Soaking in a hot bath with Epsom salts should help too. Make the.water as hot as you can stand.

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by L_Lady, May 31, 2013
Hmmm, I wonder if I'll develop this back pain at some point.  I'm having pain right now, but there's doubt where that's coming from...I totally busted it on my bike yesterday lol.  Road rash!  
I really believe exercising every day has been crucial for me tho.  Just maybe not on my bike for a while ;)

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by EmilyPost, May 31, 2013
Seven years.  How would anyone be ok after only 21 days?  Unless you're the Rolling Stones at a Swiss Medical Spa getting transfusions and special nutrition.  That I might believe.   ESP without any supportive care and so much frustration and complete failure of the very oath, "Do No Harm."  

In a weakened state, making decisions is rough.  Take it day by day and sometimes hour by hour.

Everything is going to be ok. Eventually.

This takes time, patience and faith.  The voice in you that says, "Maybe it's the poison Tramadol that is making me sicker ..."  I know that voice and I am thankful I listened.

Of course that being said, No one here is qualified to diagnose.  Like L_Lady has stated, Fibromyalia is a diagnosis of exclusion.  

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by hopingforhealing, May 31, 2013
Wow thanks so much for all the encouragement and responses.. it was more than I expected. I think im gonna try what emily says and just wait it out longer and try to keep my head up. Ive also started trying to exersize.. hopefully that doesnt backfire.  This is a good site.. I searched for hours last night looking for answers before I came across this forum. Thanks.

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by L_Lady, May 31, 2013
Hoping,  this site is such a blessing.   This journal,  Emily's journal, is absolutely awesome.   Its the only place you'll find that's overwhelmingly positive and supportive.

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by booba77, Jun 04, 2013
This place is so quiet. I hope everyone is okay.

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by L_Lady, Jun 04, 2013
I'm doing alright.  :)  how are u booba?  Taper going well?  Or just going?    

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by booba77, Jun 05, 2013
Slow and steady. Haven't increased dose and feel okay so far.

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by L_Lady, Jun 05, 2013
That's awesome.  Stay the course...never go blrack up, always keep going down

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by KC67, Jun 05, 2013
Halfway through Day 2.

Depression and anxiety have hit like a ton of bricks.  Cold/Hot flashes.  Sneezing.

I HATE THIS!  I HATE Tramadol!

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by briankoe, Jun 05, 2013
Hello,

Status update: Day 11 and going strong. All around, I'm doing really well. Still struggling a little with energy, but I'm still trying to kick this nasty cold, which I'm sure is playing a factor. I haven't really had any emotional issues, but for a long time I've been on Lamictal, which I take for epilepsy but is actually a potent mood stabilizer.

Sorry to hear that KC67, I'm sure it will get better soon!

Brian

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by L_Lady, Jun 05, 2013
KC, keep on keeping on.  The storm will pass.  Get out and exerkacise,  try to stay busy.  Congrats on 2 days!!!!

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by L_Lady, Jun 05, 2013
Brian, 11 days!!!  SO fantastic dude.  The energy thing is a pain for sure.  As another member told me, Fake it till u make it!  

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by LisaH_NYC, Jun 06, 2013
Hi All,
17 days no Tram or any other opiates. Taking my anti-depressant (though I went down to a lower dose, as the higher dose seemed to make me more anxious) and also taking a med for Restless Legs, which for me has been the absolute worst part of my withdrawal. Its only been a few days so its not helping much other than it does seem to knock me out for a few hours at night.  I can barely get more than 5 hours sleep a night, and I have lost 3 pounds from the rocking and bouncing.  Hot showers help but I do have to get out of the shower at some point!
Trying to get back into work, its been miserable. Concentration is nil, motivation almost nil, and I just show up when I can (I have called in ALOT lately) and pray it stays quiet at work long enough for me to be some form of ME again. I miss my Tram. I do. I know that's normal. I am far from "on the other side" yet. But I am starting to feel a bit of gratitude that the obsessive thoughts to get more pain killers have gotten way less.
I started praying again, to who, I am not sure. Maybe to anyone that might be listening, maybe to Karma, maybe to God, who I am not sure I like very much sometimes. But I am trying to be open minded.
I have been sober from alcohol for 17 years and I am sure my shaky faith in a higher power is what started me on this road of Tram abuse. I am not ready to go back to AA or NA... those happy, joyous and free people can be a bit much when you are having trouble sitting still because you are jumping out of your skin. but maybe in time. I am praying for an open mind.
GOOD LUCK to all who are working hard to stay clean. I thank every single person here who has posted, replied to my posts, sent me well wishes, etc. YOU are all my higher power for now.
xoxo
lisa


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by briankoe, Jun 06, 2013
Hi Lisa,

I don't want to sound preachy by any means, because I understand that's not the purpose of this forum. I have a wife who is my rock and has helped me so much. I had struggled with faith my entire life until I had some wild experiences that just seemed to bizarre for coincidence.

It always helps thinking there is something or someone out there who is looking after you. It could be because divine intervention seems like it can be the only way to overcome these seemingly impossible circumstances. I started searching around the web for some Bible verses of encouragement and I started memorizing them. Whenever the withdrawals got too difficult I'd start reciting them. It helped immensely. Who knows, maybe I'm praying to air, but it sure doesn't feel that way.

Just my two cents. Again, I don't want to sound preachy, but wanted to share what has helped me. Good luck!

Brian

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by LisaH_NYC, Jun 06, 2013
hi Brian,
I don't think you sound preachy at all! I have had years of solid faith, or thought I did,, or faked it until i made it... then I thought I knew better somehow, and took my will back, then I thought, someone out there is watching out for me, for sure, followed by thoughts of, "sure, there's some big grand man in the sky who gives us free will to mess up ourselves and each other, and he loves us but just watches"....So I have been all over the God map. The one thing I do believe: if he does exist, he knows my heart, he knows I am a kind person, and he understands I am just a human who is falliable, questions everything, and sometimes acts like a brat when he has been there for me all along.
I do know that right now, I am leaning on my husband, my mom, and those on these boards to be my uncouragement when I feel like giving it all up. So thank you for reading my post, and your reply. I will keep your words in mind, for sure.


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by briankoe, Jun 06, 2013
My pleasure, Lisa. I think those thoughts are all natural, too. And such faith is not easy when you haven't found the "proof" you've been looking for. That's why I always struggled so much with it. I'm a pretty analytical person, always looking for the "facts." I think faith in God, Karma, or any kind of theology is more difficult for some than others.

Anyhow, that's great you have the support system. I had been hiding the addiction from my wife for a long time and just told her a couple weeks ago. Talk about a burden being relieved!

I've just been trying to stay as busy as possible, and it seems to be working well. The second I start dwelling on it, I try to retrain my focus.

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by L_Lady, Jun 06, 2013
Lisa, are u taking extra potassium and magnesium /eating bananas or taking epsom salt baths?    The restlessness is really bad, I know,  but you're doing it!
Faith is huge in this fight.  I've lived my adult life with nothing but doubt and skepticism though I was raised Christian.   As a teen I stopped going to church and dropped faith.  But during this process, during my taper,  I had a friend who would not let up on me about God...even tho I'd told him many times in the past that I didn't want to hear it, and even made him leave my house last year when he wouldn't quit it.  A few weeks ago, he broke through bc I was in a place where I was broken and weak.  I started considering e God thing and made myself open just a tiny bit to it.  It wasn't until then I felt it just cone flooding in.  Not to sound cjeesy, but God is always knocking on our door. We just have to let him in.  He gave us free will bc he wanted us to live how we wanted, make our own choices.   But until we choose to let him in (and as a result respect ourselves and others) we won't feel God and we will never feel whole or complete or truly happy.
I really hope u continue to pray and open yourself to having a relationship with God.  

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by L_Lady, Jun 06, 2013
Brian,  12 days my brother!   Fantastic.   How are u feeling as a whole?  
I know what u mean about feeling like things are not just coincidence.   God has his hands on our lives for sure.  Anyway,  sorry everyone for taking over the journal with God talk, but if it helps even just one person,  score :)

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by chocoholic0211, Jun 06, 2013
Congrats Brian and Lisa! You are doing great guys.

I took my last dose last Thursday so it's been a week now. My symptoms have mostly been dizziness, insomnia and some (minor yet annoying) headaches so it's bearable. And no feeling nauseous and itchy from tramadol has been great:D.    

Good luck for the rest of your journey guys :).

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by LisaH_NYC, Jun 06, 2013
Brian,
WAY TO GO on your 12 days. I'm at 16 (I miscounted earlier and said 17) so we are in a similar place and maybe a similar state of feeling poo-ey. I can tell you day 16 has been the easiest so far symptom-wise. I read that Emily said it took her around 45 days to feel like the withdrawal symptoms/side effects from Tramadol were all gone. So we have a way to go, but we are closer now than we were yesterday, right?

Lady,
Yep, Potassium, magnesium, and started Iron today too at someone else's suggestion (I think it was Beach).  Showers help. Ice pack helped one night too to numb the pain in my knees I also am taking Requip (made for restless legs syndrome) because I have RLS symptoms ALL DAY LONG. I lost 3 lbs from bouncing, rocking, stretching and walking to try to get my legs to stop. I barely sleep. At work, I shake my cubicle. Its severe. Saturday I am going to my doc for a Dopler on my legs, he wants to be sure there is no other reason for the RLS as I had a clot once before, in my sub-clavian vein. I was only 36 at the time.
Today was the first day that I went about 5 hours without RLS symptoms. Its worse when I am tired as the day progresses. So I am seeing SOME light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks to both of you for your posts.

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by LisaH_NYC, Jun 06, 2013
oh, and Brian? When I told my husband about my pill addiction, he was furious, floored, and felt totally betrayed at first. Guess what he does for a living? He is an addictions counselor. LOL! What a tangled web we weave! But he is on my side big time now.

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by L_Lady, Jun 06, 2013
Lisa,
I certainly hope u don't have another DVT.  The restless body syndrome is definitely a part of this tramadol withdrawal tho.    I had trouble sitting still for sure.  I went on a road trip and actually put my car on cruise control,  turned up the music, and tapped both my feet.  At work I would get up and walk up and down the steps sometimes.   If u can't beat it, join it right?  Things have calmed down for me in that regard.my heart rate has chilled out and I'm not picking the life out of my fingernails anymore lol.  So there is an end in site!  I'm still getting out every evening and exercising which helps SO much!  
How ironic that your husband is an addiction counselor!  I know its probably a different dynamic when u have a close ralationship with someone in that position,  but he probably does have some tools or skills to share with u.  And if he's never battled addiction,  u can give him some insight into what its like that he can use on the job!

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by L_Lady, Jun 06, 2013
Choco,
U deserve a big hug :)  a week...be proud

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by LisaH_NYC, Jun 07, 2013
Choco,
Cheers, lady!! great job!

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by briankoe, Jun 07, 2013
Wow, Lisa, big time tangled web! My wife was pretty upset at first as well (naturally), but now she is very supportive.

Lady, my energy is definitely lower than it usually is, but overall I'm not too bad. All the very difficult withdrawals are pretty much gone. My focus is somewhat down, but other than that, things are going well.

Congrats to you as well, Choco. The one-week milestone sure felt like a good one!

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by KC67, Jun 08, 2013
Hi everyone.
Still here.  Still pretty miserable.  Hoping to send more positive posts out later, but right now, just too sad.

I had not logged in to my account since my last time quitting in 2010.  I saw my old ticker and almost cried.  I would have been at 1530 days clean!  It was so sad to change my ticker back to zero.  Yes, I am happy I have made it this far, but the reality of it was sobering.

This is a great place.

Thank you for your positive encouragement L-Lady.  Your earlier posts on this thread had an impact on my decision to get clean again.

And last, this drug truly is a devil drug.  It has pulled me so far away from my faith, its scary.  I too have found that in just the few days I have been clean, I have renewed my prayer life.  That is the only positive thing that has happened so far.  I know I have a LONG way to go, but I am thankful for that one positive right now.


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by Jbean77, Jun 08, 2013
Been absent from the journal for a bit. Great job to everyone who has recently quit and to those tapering. I know both are crazy difficult but you can do it.

This site & Emily's journal are amazing support/outlets. I stepped away mostly for a week, and got pretty stressed out & tired from work. I unfortunately went from my 2/day that I had tapered to, back to 3/day and then back to 4/day for just a couple days through the last week. I let the power of this drug overtake me at a time of weakness. But, I'm going to learn from my mistake and keep moving forward. I'm sure I'm not the first to have this happen. I cut to 3/day again yesterday and visited my doctor to talk about my plan. He wants me to taper slower so I can deal with the physical symptoms. 3/day for 3-4 weeks, then 2/day for a month then 1 for a month. 3 months seems like forever but it's good to have that long as an option. I keep thinking about it. I DO want to go faster, but def need to slow it down from what I was trying to do.

Loading up on vitamins too.....really seems to help with restlessness. Need to get some Epsom salts though. And then find time to take a bath by myself lol.

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by L_Lady, Jun 08, 2013
KC, I hope you've come to the realization that u can ALWAYS try again.   And the ppl here will ALWAYS support u in that.  Don't worry about the past, toYday is now and ur DOING IT.  Ur leaving that stuff in the past where it needs to be.  SO glad ur praying again,  and remember, u can never pray too much!  Its His strength that carries us and we definitely need it through this fight.
JB, don't be discouraged.   You're on ur way.  Stay in touch with MH and we'll help lift u when ur down.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 08, 2013
KC it's all ok,  the reality of it is just that you'll be at 1530 days in 1525 days.  You haven't lost anything other than a nasty tramadol habit and you can do this.  At 5 days the tramadol controls lots of our thoughts and emotions still.  It's rough but you can do it.

I remember talking to you about the Benzos, but it was in no way with any kind of Judgment or I-Told-You-So-ism. It's really just about the love that we all have for the fragile human spirit which is also huge, mighty, powerful and immortal.  The love is what it is about and I'm so glad you can feel it and be near to it again. Tramadol spiritually constipates its victims!

Side effect; Spiritual Constipation.


Love you guys!

You can do it!

Em



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by KC67, Jun 10, 2013
Hi again everyone,
Still struggling through week 1.  

Physical symptoms are beginning to subside.  Depression and anxiety are still VERY strong and I have to remind myself all the time that Tram is still inside my cells - affecting me and making me miserable.  Sleep is still terrible - but since I have quit so many times, I am comforted that I know my sleep will return after a few more weeks.

Emily, I like that.  I WILL be at 1530 days again and I am closing the gap all the time.  And please let me assure you that I never felt judged by you - ever.  I have felt nothing but love and understanding and compassion from you.  I have pretty much read this journal from cover to cover over the past 4 years and have been so encouraged to see that there is still kindness in the world amongst all the evil.

With regard to the benzo's, I am still FREE from xanax and I will always be grateful to you for sharing your story and encouraging me to be kind to myself throughout the withdrawal process.  I think that is what you meant when you said, "One thing at a time KC" - because you understood.  You had been there and you knew how difficult it would be to quit both Trams and benzos at the same time.

"Spiritually Constipated".  Yes.  That is exactly what happens while on Tram for long periods of time.  Tram is a love-blocking, soul-stealing devil drug that leaves you spiritually constipated.  

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by EmilyPost, Jun 10, 2013
KC good job on being benzo free.  I am too and ... it's a whole other nightmare.

http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=73599

This first post that I am linking is a really great encompassing post on PAWS.  Depression and opiate (tramadol is an opiate-anti-depressant) recovery ... I find the info there very helpful.  ESP in combatting the deep serious frankly ... um ... SATANIC type depression that comes after quitting this crap ...

(Satanic being an understatement)

:)

Much love and Healing,
Em

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by Jbean77, Jun 10, 2013
Hey tram fighters-- so I kinda unexpectedly have been able to push myself to almost 19 hours. I have been tapering for a bit now and had a slip up to 4/day from my 2/day I had finally tapered to. I met w/ my doc who said basically go slow but yesterday I only took two and at the 12 hour mark (10am this morning) I felt ok so I didn't see the point in taking any. So here I am at 19 hours almost- and starting to really feel it. One thing that's picked up that I've seen through the journals....sneezing. I am tempted just to go for it....but I'm wondering how long this is gonna be really bad for? I did take the step to put all my pills in an out of reach area. I go to work out in a class in a bit & I'm thinking if I can make it through that I could be ok tonight. Worst case, I could take a sick day tomorrow. Oh I don't know if I should just go for it or just try to go to 1/day.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 10, 2013
My opinion is that when you decide to stop, expect the serious symptoms to begin at about 48 hours out, depending on how much is on your system.  Half life. It will last 3-5 days with the first few days being bad.  Can you work thru it?  Depends on what job you are doing I think Dear Jbean77.

When I was done, I was done and I did a very fast run outta pills taper.

I do not know that tapering will save you from the Tramadol's last riot of pain.  But it could make it better.  There have been a few people on the journal who tapered and had no horrible days.  But they were few and far between.  

You can try to stretch it, but be safe ok Sweetheart?



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by Jbean77, Jun 10, 2013
Thanks Emily. It has been 24 hours. I'm functioning alright so far. But like you said, the worst is still yet to come. I am loaded up on vitamins and just took melatonin to help me sleep. My legs are starting to feel antsy so hopefully I can get some sleep. When I did this about 4 years ago (pregnant) I stopped from like 2/day....it lasted like 2 bad restless days/nights. But I was on 2/day for awhile.

I wasn't planning on stopping today....I just stretched it and it seems like the right thing. I'm
Tired of the constant (although mild) w/d symptoms. I'm not confident enough to flush my pills (I still have 70+ from my Rx) but I
Put them in a hard to access place. Took them out of my purse & away.

I'm sure ill be here a lot the next few days. I'm hoping I don't cave. Thanks for all the support.

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by tramuser99, Jun 10, 2013

I have lurked around here for the last two years or so, its nice to know others are going through the same thing I am.  My addiction started off with tramadol only for the first 5-6 months, then I got a R/X for adderall, those two are the main pills I have become addicted to over the past two years. During that time I have switched from tramadol to kratom for awhile, now I am on and off with DHC, using tramadol when I run out of those. I dont feel euphoria from tram anymore, it just keeps me from getting sick. I am already suffering severe depression because of this addiction, I know I am hooked on these drugs and I have become extremely recluse and cut off from the world. I work from home primarily with my job which has only made it worse.  I have a great six figure job, I have always been career minded and have worked my way up in my profession. My worst fear is the lethargic, unmotivational mood you suffer through when quitting, I just never have a good amount of free time to allow for a full detox.  I am in my mid-30s, I live alone, I have a GF but we are currently split because of this whole mess. Its just really hard to show love for someone else when you dont love yourself.

Before all this happened I was extremely fit but once I got on the adderall and then started taking the tramadol during the day the workouts stopped. I worked out consistently since 1996, so I am suffering from really low self esteem because I lost all that hard work. I avoid seeing old friends because I dont want them to see me like this, I have always been so in shape that it would immediately throw up red flags if they saw me now.

I constantly think about the best way for me to stop this cycle. Whether it involves tapering, going c/t, going to a quick detox center, doing it in house with OTC meds.  I tell myself that I need to get back in the gym first for awhile before I even try so I can at least help build some self esteem that way, however its so hard to find the motivation to stick with it when on the drugs. Its just so depressing when I stop, I mean every morning it feels like withdrawals have kicked in and it hadnt even been 24 hours, its just my mind making it so bad because of my overall mood already. The only time I feel any euphoria is after I take Adderall and if I am taking the DHC.

I have actually quit once before, it was only like 3-4 months after I first started taking the tramadol. I was scared I was becoming a "junkie" so I just quit cold turkey without really using anything to help with the detox.  I only lasted about 3-4 weeks before I used them again. I remember I had to do a bunch of stuff for work so I took them for motivation to get the stuff done.  Eventually I was once again hooked.

The worst part of the drug is all the poor decisions I made while high on it. I would buy random things that I would never buy if I wasnt taking them. I switched jobs and immediately regretted it once I started the new job and realized it was the tramadol that made me think it was the best move. I could go on and on, how it turned my personality into Jekyl and Hyde. It was like I was happy, yet I would get easily agitated and inpatient when on them. I have lost a lot of friendships because I closed myself off so much in the past year, I think my family knows something is going on even though I have only told my mother.

At one point I was taking 25-35 50mg pills in a day, and I still wouldnt feel anything from them. I am really surprised I have never had a seizure, I know a lot about the drug and its potential to cause them. Right now I take about 15 a day, along with 25mg of adderall in the am. This time last year I could take 8 and feel the high from it, at that time I wasnt using the tramadol all the time, I used Kratom daily and would go on a tramadol binge every couple weeks. I remember trying to quit just the kratom at that time and how hard it was, now I would pay money to only be taking kratom.

I am not really sure why I posted, its really just to kinda let it all out. I tried going c/t over the weekend but only lasted two days. I dont know why I even tried, I knew I couldnt miss work today or tomorrow, I guess I just did it hoping I would be ok to work. I caved today because of work, I had a meeting and a conference call I had to lead. I literally spent two straight days in my bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. I didnt even shower until today.  I wasnt at all prepared to try the detox, I didnt have much for groceries, laundry wasnt done, place was a mess. I know now that you need to have all that prepped before going into a c/t detox because you literally dont feel like doing a thing.

Sorry for the random long post, I guess having two days without taking anything reminded me how bad off I am. I need to come up with a plan to get my life back. First thing is to get back in the gym for a few weeks before I attempt a major reduction in doses. I dont know if I can taper all the way off, I can taper down but eventually I will have to just go c/t. Over the weekend I tried using large doses of loperamide (40-50mgs/20-25 2mg pills) and I actually didnt experience bad physical withdrawals but it was only 48 hours, however I do think high doses can mitigate a lot of the physical stuff besides just the bathroom. I had clonidine to take in the evening and that helps. Now that tramadol is a controlled substance I dont even try ordering it online, so eventually I am just going to run out and thats the end of it. I have enough to taper for a bit until that happens, but I am just ready for this to be over with.  Anyways, thanks for listening.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 10, 2013
Tramuser,  I am so glad you delurked sweetheart.  You're far too smart to be a slave to Tramadol.  I like your plan.  I know you can do it.  Be systematic, and start to enact the plan.

You don't deserve to be a Tram Robot ...  you can take your life back and we'll help you as much as we can.

You can do it.  It will suck, but it ***** now, so why not take your Life back from the pills that are trying to kill you?

Let it out ...

You can kick this.  I know it.



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by Jbean77, Jun 11, 2013
Wanted to update- I'm at almost 38 hours. Obviously I can't turn back now, right? I left the house for work with NO pills, thats a big deal of course. I have them all put up in my closet.... threw them way back there. I guess its a bit of a comfort knowing they are there but I DO NOT want them. I think I just want to make it a little longer then I'm getting rid of them. Flushing them or whatever... all 70+ of them.

So here's where I am. Last night at 10pm was 24 hours. I took some melatonin to sleep. I took potassium, magnesium, and caltrate (calcium & vit D) to help with restlessness. I woke up a few times with RLS. Yesterday I bought Hylands Restful legs which you can take every 4 hours so I did that 2x last night. That stuff is a miracle. Seriously a miracle. I slept a few hours at a time. Right now, I feel okay. WHY do I feel this okay? It doesn't make sense. Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling it... antsy, anxious, ect but almost less than I had been when I was tapering. I feel like I am just waiting to be hit by something like a ton of bricks. It has to be coming like any minute, right? I looked up the half life/excretion data for tramadol. I found, just like Emily Post said, between 26-48 hours the multi-dosed model in the clinical data was said to have excreted the drug. So.... 48 hours I'm assuming something is gonna get me.. get me bad. I am starting to feel a bit of a headache coming on... but heck, I got bad headaches while on tramadol and while tapering.

So today I'm working. Trying to move around. Making it a "lighter" day and visiting less clients. (i'm a sales rep) but I need to stay moving. I am going to get some of the omegas mentioned in some of the lists that are around here and have been recommended to me. I think that's all I will add right now.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 11, 2013
Jbean get some sublingual B-12 (under the tongue B-12) and some honey sticks.  If you need to stay moving those are my biggest tips.  I also was not short of coffee or energy drinks when working was necessary.  I was grateful.

Just stay the course darling!

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by Jbean77, Jun 11, 2013
Thank you Emily! I actually do have some b-12 sublingual in my car! I will have to find some honey.... although I remember now reading about that earlier in your journal. I did drink a 5 hour energy last night before I went to work out. While I was a little nervous the caffeine may make me extra jittery it is loaded with b12 and b6 as well. It gave me a nice boost & didn't seem to cause any issues. I am slowly making my way still through my morning coffee even though I just ate my lunch.

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by tramuser99, Jun 11, 2013
Jbean77, the first time I went c/t off tramadol I didnt know what to expect. I had never used anything else so I had no idea what a detox would feel like.  At that time I was taking around 9-12 a day for about 3-4 months.  I didnt really feel much until the morning of the third day.  I remember I couldnt sleep at all the night #2, but I thought I just had a restless night.  I went to work the morning of Day 3 but left in the morning because I didnt sleep and was kinda out of it.  That day I remember it kicking in, it was more anxiety than anything else.  I had to walk around the neighborhood like 5 times and took a bunch of hot showers, I just couldnt relax.  It was a tough day but Day 4 was better because the anxiousness wasnt as bad.  I actually only missed work on Day 3 and 4, I could of went to work on Day 4 but I didnt sleep much the night before so I stayed home.  

I honestly think that I freaked myself out a bit on Day 3 once I started to feel it and started reading stuff on the internet about it, but I was easily able to work out on Day's 1,2,5 & 6 (my first detox day was a Monday).  The last symptom to go was insomnia, it took me about 10 days before I could sleep 8 hours again.  At that time I was only using tram in the evenings purely for recreational purposes, so it was easier to detox because I wasn't used to using them to actually function at work.

I know over this past weekend when I tried to go C/T taking a higher dose of loperamide (immodium AD) + Tagament every 12 hours took away a lot of the symptoms and almost made me feel more relaxed.  I took around 25 of the 2mg loperamide pills. I know it seems like a lot but loperamide isnt toxic like other meds, its not like taking a ton of aspirin or something.  If it gets really bad you could try like 8-10 loperamide pills with normal dose of tagament and go from there.

I also think if you make yourself go to work it will keep your mind off it and the time will go faster. Clonidine (spelling?) also helps keeping the body relaxed, but you need a script for that.

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by serenenow, Jun 11, 2013
I was trying to post.  Hope this works.  It's been a year since I've been on this site.  Feeling great.  No Tramadol since last year at this time.  Life is getting better every day.  Those of you who are trying to get off it keep on working at it.  It is possible.  I promise you life does get better.

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by Jbean77, Jun 11, 2013
serenenow- great job on 1 year!!! thats amazing!


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by Jbean77, Jun 11, 2013
tramuser- thanks for sharing your w/d experience. I'm hoping since i was not taking a whole lot that perhaps my w/ds will be minimal. However, I'm not naive enough to believe that its not gonna get worse than this. I definitely know I need to get through a few more days until the worst is over.

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by Jbean77, Jun 11, 2013
Question: has anyone else ever taken 5HTP after quitting tramadol? If so, how long after quitting did you start it?

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by KC67, Jun 12, 2013
Hi Everyone.

Still here.  Still struggling with NO energy, NO desire to be around people, heavy anxiety and depression.  Sleep is poor.  Still sneezing.

I hope to be able to post more positive things soon, but I am still in the strongholds of this drug.  Just doing anything productive is difficult – so I am trying to be kind to myself by only doing the things that are necessary to care for me and my family.

tramuser99 -
I have quit / restarted so many times before,  I was prepared for the depression and anxiety, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  And it is terrible and terrifying.   Tram is a love-blocking, soul-stealing devil drug that leaves you spiritually constipated.   You can do this.  Go to war against it!   As for me, I am sick and tired of going to battle with this demon drug and losing!  This time I am going to win.


Something really resonated within me when you said “satanic”, Emily.  Then earlier in this post, LLady encouraged me to get rid of my “stash".  Well I still had 1/2 a bottle left.  My "stash".  I justified keeping my "stash" as one day I would have normal thinking and would use Tram like a normal person - that I could just keep those pills for potential emergencies.  

The tram voices were VERY strong today.  Telling me how weak I was.  Telling me that I needed to take them again because this sadness and this anxiety is just unbearable.  Truly unbearable.  That my brain will NEVER rewire because of how many times I have quit and restarted over the past 10 years. That I was not worth anything without them.

So I thought about those voices and they really ARE satanic.  

So for the first time EVER....I flushed the devil pills.  My “stash”.  

Even way back to the first time I quit (right here in this journal) I have always kept a small stash- for when I would use it "like a normaI person would" for emergency pain or social situations.  When I flushed them, I felt such mixed anxiety, terror, and freedom all at the same time.  A very weird experience.  

But I did it.  

Another day forward.  Huge accomplishments today.  


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by Jbean77, Jun 12, 2013
Kc- great job on flushing them!!!! It is a really hard thing to do, as I just did the same to over 70
Pills yesterday. I'm so happy that I did and I know you will be too down the road. Hang in there. Things will get better.

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by KC67, Jun 12, 2013
Thanks Jbean.  Great job on flushing yours too.  One of the hardest things I ever did, but very liberating.


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by tramuser99, Jun 12, 2013
Does anyone in here have experience with Detox programs, ones lasting 8 to 10 days? I finally have a break in my work schedule and am thinking maybe I should put myself in a 8 to 10 day detox program just to better my chances of not caving in.  I know its better to do a 28 day or more rehab, but I am really trying to keep this under wraps from my job.

I am looking for a place that will give you medication to help through the process as well. Does anyone have any idea what these types of places cost? Any recommendations on facilities or recommendations on what I should look for in one?

I think I could do it on my own but its been going on for too long and if its not going to cost me an arm and a leg then I would rather just commit to it and know I will have support through the process.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 12, 2013
The main problem that most people have with going thru a Detox is that more than half of the Doctors and Health care providers still insist that Tramadol is not addictive.  That is still happening Tramuser99.  But, since you have said that the Trams are about to be regulated, I am hoping you are in a state where the Doctors know better.  So, hopefully that's one hurdle down.

It costs thousands.

If you put it thru insurance, some companies pay but they need pre-authorization usually.

The best thing you could do is start an internet search in your State.

Hopefully someone will have more information.  I know that if you are taking more than "Just Tramadol" they'd probably be fine taking your cash.

I hope that's not ... discouraging.  I mean, think about it, the people I would have heard from are here cause they usually can't get help elsewhere. So my information would be seriously skewed.

I actually know you can do this Tramuser99.  I know you can.

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by KC67, Jun 14, 2013
Wow.  Depression and anxiety are htting so hard right now.  Feeling despair at times - other times just sad.

I think Tram knows I am quitting for good this time since I got rid of my stash.

And it is fighting me right now.  I hate this.  

Hope everyone else is having better days.

This drug is so horrible.

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by ImDONENoMore, Jun 14, 2013
It is horrible, which is why, KC67, it's SO wonderful that you quit.  I promise you, these feelings will pass.  Just hang onto that "blind faith" for a while, and you'll see for yourself.  Give this the time it deserves and you won't be disappointed.  :)

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by EmilyPost, Jun 14, 2013
KC when the depression and anxiety hit, lay low.  Distract yourself.  Watch a movie quietly, do anything else to just distract.  Because it passes.

And then one day you will have a day with no weird Tram detox or anxiety and you can remember how truly great it is not to have to have this stuff for "energy" or "legitimate pain" ...  Tram is a liar.  When it hits too hard, just lay in the Foxhole and wait it out.  It's War and some times in War, you just wait and bide your time.

I'm so proud of you for flushing your pills!  Good Job Guys!

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by Brainfog101, Jun 15, 2013
Hi Emily and everyone out there getting off tramadol
I have been on tramadol for a ruptured disk in my lower back for the past 3 years.I have had the same experience as everyone else,great pain med,energy and tons of motivation and off course it turned on me as well.I had a feeling that if I did not stop that I would end up with some type of neurological disease.
I got addicted quickly and was taking up to 30 50mgs daily.I went from 30 to 15, no withdrawl.Then went from 15 to 12 some withdrawl.Went down from 12 to 6 pills and had bad withdrawl for 6 weeks.I jumped from 6 pills daily to 0 and had terrible,severe withdrawl.The physical withdrawl was severe for 4 days,but the **** hit the fan a week later.I ended up in Ed with anxiety,chest pain and severe palpitations.Lucky for me my heart was ok,all these symptoms were from withdrawl.I was referred to chemical dependency,which did not help at all.I tried topamax,gabapentin and increase of zoloft(was on 25 mgs for peri menopause symptoms)All these meds made the anxiety/depression worse.what helped me was reducing caffeine,taking vitamins,green tea and restful legs,acupressure points(found on YouTube)and deep breathing.
I am about 66 day off tramadol and although it is better especially the physical symptoms the anxiety depression,brain fog and lack of energy persist.What is helping the most for me is coming on here and reading success stories.I just cannot believe how SLOW and RANDOM this withdrawl is.This is one of the most TERRIFYING things I have been through.I am 48 yrs old and have been through some difficult periods in my life,but this is ridiculous.
I know that it is the withdrawl because when it lifts I am myself,happy,strong and optimistic and looking forward to life,but it doesen't last ,although better the symptoms come back.
I would love to hear from someone who has been off for a long time about how long more I can expect the withdrawl period to last before everything is completely back to normal.

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by mimi0127, Jun 16, 2013
Hello all...this may be a strange question but has this happened to anyone else?  I have been taking Tramadol for four years and then one week after mastectomy surgery for breast cancer I forgot to get it refilled and went without it for three days...on the third day starting having severe anxiety and panic! Got it filled the next morning and continued taking the 200 mil that I had been taking but the symptoms have continued for four months! My Dr. recently put me on Klonopin for the anxiety and it helps but not totally....My question is does amyone know if you can continue w/d from tramadol even though you start back taking it as usual??  Please help if you can....thank you

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by acaz, Jun 16, 2013
I am very grateful to have found this board. I have been on Tramadol for almost 3 years, and addicted to them for about 2. I have Chiari Malformation and had to have brain surgery, so going without pain meds wasn't an option for a long time. I am prescribed 8, 50mg pills a day, but at my worst, I was taking up to 30 a day. Because of that, I have had 3 seizures/blackouts, with my most recent this past Christmas (in front of my family). That was a wake-up call for me. I tried to go off of them cold turkey and it was one of the most miserable experiences of my life - worse than the Chiari issues. Severe sweats, fatigue to the point that I had to crawl up my steps, diarrhea, aches...but after a week, I began to have more energy and felt so well mentally that I could not believe it. I now know it was causing depression as well. The sweats were honestly the worst part and continued for almost 3 weeks. Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon after making it a month. The post-surgery pain caught up with me. I do not take nearly as many as I used to thankfully, but being on them period is not good. I am now doing a taper plan (along with a lot of prayer!) and I am scaling back each week. It seems to be working so far, but I will not be happy until I am off this terrible stuff.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 16, 2013
Acaz, I know you can do it.  Isn't it some terrible withdrawal?  Three years is a chunk of time and it may take some time to taper down, but you can do it. I like your current plan and I know it will work. What a testament to the Horrible Tram withdrawal is the fact that having Chiari Malformation and brain surgery was less horrifying that cold turkey withdrawal.  Scary scary.  Your energy will come back, you will be happy again!  Promise!





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by EmilyPost, Jun 16, 2013
Hi Mimi,

So sorry for what you are going thru.  So basically you went thru a very difficult shock to the system which is a cold turkey withdrawal of three days no tram.  I am sure that shocked the heck out of your brain and your guts and all your opiate receptors.  If you have never had a break in four years ... I would expect three days with no pills would be a huge anxiety provoking situation.  

You've gone back on ...

The thing about anxiety is that it does get triggered, by anxiety.  So it feels like one huge attack.  Are you in withdrawal from Tramadol?  No.  But now you have added Klonopin which (for me) eventually caused me more panic.  Benzos turn on people also as they are not meant to be taken more than two weeks.  

It sounds like you want off the pills, and I hope you can figure out a way to make that happen.  Once this stuff turns on you ... it's usually the way out.

I hope you are ok.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 16, 2013
Hi Brainfog,

You're doing well!  So well!  I have been off the pills for a long time.  It took me 3 months to stop feeling the Tramadol withdrawal.  But it was complicated by me still needing off benzos.  So it may be faster.  How long does it take?  Too freaking long.  But as you know you will have perfect happy hours again of feeling true joy and connection.  You won't feel like a Tramadol Robot.  

When the random withdrawal hits, assure yourself that *this* may be the last time you ever feel it.  It will be ok, but it takes time for the brain and the Nervous system and the guts to remember what they did before Tram Flooded them.

Real answer is, it takes longer than it should.  Most encouraging answer, it WILL end.  Never start again.  

Many people can tell you ... it will end.  And you will be ok, healed and whole and even better than pre-tram!

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by Brainfog101, Jun 17, 2013
Hi Emily ,
I want to thank you for responding and for starting this site in the first place .You seem like a very strong ,caring and compassionate person.I hope the good karma comes back to you a thousand times!

My story is similar to yours.I ruptured a disk in my lower back,L5 when I was 39yrs old(on my b-day) in the hospital lifting a patient.I am an RN.I was on/off pain meds,Vicodin,muscle relaxants and prescription NSAIDS.I was always afraid of getting addicted to the meds but actually never had a problem with them until I took tramadol.Vicodin I only took when I was desperate.I fought the pain all the way.Three years ago I took tramadol for a flare up off back pain.I also had some very stressful events in those 3 years;husband lost his job,foreclosure,death of my father,bankruptcy and my husband lost his best friend to suicicide,because of these events and back pain I was taking more tramadol and for longer than I needed to because at the time it helped me deal with the stress.

Problem right now is that I can't exercise.I am having more back pain and tingling/burning in my leg which I have not had for years.I have a feeling that it has something to do with the tramadol withdrawl because I have not had this particular type of pain in years.The pain is milder and comes and goes throughout the day and it just feels very strange and comes and goes,it almost feels like a memory type of pain?I only hope that it is part of the withdrawl because I really need to get back on my treadmill for my sanity.Does anyone know or has anyone had similar experience with pain after tramadol withdrawl.
I would love feed back from anyone with similar experience.Thanks a million.


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by KC67, Jun 17, 2013
Hi everyone battling this INSIDIOUS, evil drug,

I am still here, but have taken Emily's advice to lay low.  The depression and anxiety are so very strong right now.  I have quit Tram cold turkey in the past (about 3 times - with the average quit time about a  month) - but this withdrawal is by far the worst.

If I can encourage anyone out there to NOT start back up on Tram again EVER, I want to do so.  It is awful.  

Sleep is still spotty.  I usually wake up at 4am and cannot go back to sleep.  I wake up with this awful dread for the day - even if I am doing things I typically enjoy.  Crying a lot.  So very sad that I am in this situation.

Had my entire family over for Father's Day and had to retreat to my foxhole before we even got dinner on the table..  Thought I was going to have a panic attack.  I have never done this before.  It is not me.  It's the Tram.

And yes Brainfog101, Tram causes MORE pain in withdrawal.  Each time I quit, my back pain and sciatica got worse.  Every time.  It's the drug "leaving the building".  But it does get better with time.  A lot of time.

One day at a time.  

Thank you for all your encouragement Emily.  You are so kind and I am so grateful to you.


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by KC67, Jun 17, 2013
Sorry, had to post my ticker.  It means so much to me to see each day increase.  Each day I am getting further and further away from Tram and closer to the real me.

Keep fighting everyone!  It is a battle for your life.

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by Brainfog101, Jun 18, 2013
Hi KC67,I am 69 days post tramadol withdrawl.I know how you feel dealing with the anxiety and depression;this was The WORST for me ,far worse than any other symptom for me and believe me I had them all!Even at this late stage I am stilling having anxiety/depression and some brain fog.These symptoms are getting better and not lasting as long at this point but they are still there but weaker.

What is really helping me is going on YouTube and listening to meditation/relaxation videos.They do not seem to help at first but the more you practice the stronger effect they have on you.PRACTISE,PRACTISE and eventually your subconscious will respond and you will feel your body responding positively and the anxiety will subside.

For me meds made my symptoms worse.I tried gabapentin,Zoloft and topamax and found that the flare-up's were worse when using them.This was just me though.I know meds have helped other people on her.I was extremely sensitive to everything,even Tylenol and Advil seemed to worsen everything
What did help was vitamins,green tea,very good quality calcium/magnesium from "new chapters" found at the healt store,acupressure points for anxiety,found on YouTube, and of course sunshine.I am lucky enough to live in sunny California.

Hang in there ,it will get better and you will feel stronger and happy when you finally beat this terrible withdrawl.I know I still have some rough days ahead,but it getting weaker and losing it hold on me;I had a 3 year heavy addiction to this nasty drug.
I am 48 yrs old and in peri menopause and the flare-up's are worse around this time of the month and mid month,but I am preparing myself for it each time .I try to eat as healthy as possible ,avoid sugar and caffeine and be nice to yourself,it makes a difference and KNOW this will not last ,I know it is pure HELL but it WILL END.
I wish you and every one else on here the best of luck.I am sending positive energy your way and every one else's.




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by lamom33, Jun 18, 2013
Hi all,

I've been on and off this board since Nov. 2012.  Stopping Tram then going back on it.  I think the longest I made it was 6 weeks.  Since my last post, I started taking tram again, but I got cut off from my supply in May.  I freaked out and went to Urgent Care.  I'm sure the doc could tell I was a tram junkie.  Anyway, he prescribed me neurotin for pain.  My deepest desire is take nothing, but I have fibro so I'm not sure that is an option.  Anyway, this withdrawal period has been so much easier.  I'm over three wks clean and rarely think about tram or how I'm doing.  The med does make me a zombie and has some side effects, so praying I can stop it in about a month or two and go from there.

Love to all of you,
LA

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by LisaH_NYC, Jun 18, 2013
Glad to see you back! Keep on going forward. This is your time.


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by Brainfog101, Jun 19, 2013
Lammon33--that's great that gabapentin is working for you.Stay on it because it is a much better med and safer than tramadol and will be easier to get off.Believe me I would have taken it when withdrawing if it helped.I would have taken anything at the time.

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by tramuser99, Jun 19, 2013
So I am on another C/T detox, I finally got enough days off work to make sure I have the time to get through it.  I have successfully c/t detoxed off tramadol in the past, and have had other 2-3 day detoxes in which I ended up caving because I had to interact with people and didnt want to be shaking and sweating in front of them.

I have done a ton of research over the past 2 years on ways to get through w/d, and have tried all the different methods I have read about.  I used to be hooked on tram, it was my DOC for the first year until I started to build a tolerance and didnt get euphoria anymore.  I was easily taking 35-50 50mg pills a day, its crazy that I never had a seizure.  I also take adderall so maybe that prevented seizures, im not sure.  I also was a big bodybuilder and weighed 220lb at 6'0" without much fat, so my tolerance is probably just naturally higher.

Anyways, there are a couple things that really do help with the W/Ds, most are not OTC items though so take at own risk.  Some are addicting so DONT take past a week.

1.) Immodium AD - I am not talking normal doses here, taking a couple pills wont help with diarrhea or anything else.  Personally, when I take around 20-25 pills per dose it brings a bit of calmness over my body. I can still use the restroom, it actually makes it more normal in that respect. It also just seems to relax your body and can help you sleep some. It is an opiate that does not cross the brain barrier, but it does do more than just help with the restroom issues.  Take the high dose once in the morning and once at night Day 1, then just do it once a day for 3 days. On Day 4 you can cut the dose in half, Day 5 another half, then stop or you could taper it even more.

2.) Benzos - With me personally, OTC sleep aids do nothing but make my legs more restless. Dont take Benadryl, Sominex, Nyquil, etc, unless they have already proven to get you sleep.  Benzos like Klonpin, Atavin, Valium, and Xanax are best.  Take as many as you need for the really hard days, like days 2-4.  DONT TAKE THEM LONGER THAN 5 DAYS. I once was completely naive to Valium, I was working overseas and used to take 50mg of valium to sleep at night. I didnt even bother to bring them back to the US when I left my job there. About a week after I returned I couldnt sleep a wink, I just started a new job as well. I had to go to work during a cold turkey withdrawal off a 8 month 50mg valium habit, and I honestly didnt even know why I couldnt sleep. I figured if a week had past then I was good. Once I read about valium withdrawal on the internet I realized it takes a week to kick in.  Anyways, it was a sucky withdrawal (not as bad as opiates even though its longer), I couldnt sleep right for 3 straight weeks. You dont want to get hooked on benzos.

3.) Clonidine - I actually ordered this off the net, its not hard to find but its not OTC either.  When you first take it, it makes you really sleepy which is great. I can tell when its working because my nose and mouth get super dry, I will wake up that way as well, it lasts for awhile so you dont need to dose much.  It really helps with the shakes, chills, and anxiety. It basically lowers your BP, so its not a drug to mess around with, make sure you read about correct dosing.

4.) Kratom - I hesitate to put Kratom on here because its basically an opiate so it will really only prolong the W/D. I have been addicted to just Kratom and it ***** to try and stop.  However, if during your withdrawal you have to feel kinda normal for a work or family event, having some kratom is better than relapsing back on tram or other opiates. Its expensive but legal to get off the net. Get the lightest stuff which is the Bali, you can make some tea with it. DO NOT KEEP TAKING IT, all you are doing is prolonging it all, so only take if desperate.

5.) Exercise - This should really be #1 because once you get to the point where you dont want to lie in bed anymore, going for walks, yoga, cardio, etc, is the best for getting you back to normal. You WILL feel 10x's better after going to the gym and sweating, or walking around the neighborhood. Its also just a positive thing you can incorporate into your life to help keep you from caving from boredom. I remember the first time I went C/T, I never wanted to leave the gym because I knew I had to go back to an empty boring home and it would make me want to take some tram to kill the boredom. I have been into training since 1996, I have seen so many examples of exercise completely changing someones life for the better. It can be just as beneficial as rehab/therapy.


Some of these are debatable methods of easing withdrawal, you should always go with the Thomas Recipe first and only use that. The above methods work for me, and I have more confidence going into a w/d knowing them.  However, I c/t off a 15 pill tram habit and I didnt use a single prescription to help, I really didnt even use all the thomas recipe, I just talked to people when it was bad.  Support is the best thing in the world when you start getting really depressed and anxious. Tell someone about what you are going through.  I remember on Day 3 calling different therapists to see if I could get in that day, I was such an emotional mess.

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by ImDONENoMore, Jun 19, 2013
You have to learn to do this differently after each relapse, or you'll continue to fail.

I'm sorry, but benzos AND kratom when withdrawing?  Bad idea.. you'll only risk yourself for trading addictions.  We have to get through this the hard way.. there's just no easy way out... and you will be grateful later that you didn't choose to use another med to get through this.  Tapering is the preferred method when quitting tramadol.  But I absolutely do not agree with taking anything else that's considered highly addictive to get through this.

I know I'm going to take some slack for my comments.. and that's okay.  If it helps one person, it was worth it.

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by chocoholic0211, Jun 19, 2013
I also agree that tappering is way better than ct. I know for me it was a huge difference in how I was feeling when I stopped from 5 to 0 and after doing a quick taper. But then again I don't think my 5 pills compares to 30 pills. It actually sounds quite silly to be even complaining about any withdrawals from that ;). So I feel for anyone who has been taking so many pills and has to stop cold turkey. Using prescription meds to help through withdrawal sounds like a very humane idea in this case but one has to weigh it against the likelihood of another addiction. Some people can do that safely, others cannot so it's up to each individual to judge because we all know ourselves best.

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by Jbean77, Jun 20, 2013
I've read some bad things about the kratom, but don't know anything about it first hand. I did use a little bit of xanax to help me through some really anxious times last week when I stopped but xanax is something I always have on hand and hardly ever use. I think choco said it best as we know ourselves the best. I knew that I wouldn't take too much in a row to cause an issue.... but with most people in this situation, I'd say that's probably not the case the majority of the time.

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by KC67, Jun 20, 2013
Horrible anxiety and depression and lack of motivation to do ANYTHING....yet feel trapped inside my depressing house.  Bored as tramuser99 mentioned, but no motivation to get up and do something.  

Tram voices are telling me that I am crazy - and it is painful.

Lots of tears this week.  Lots of emotion coming to the surface.  

I force myself...and I mean FORCE myself to exercise 3x per week.  Exercise is good medicine.   Endorphins and serotonin production.

Eating a LOT.  Especially a lot of carbs and fattening foods.  I have gained 5 lbs - which I have experienced every time I have quit tram.  I think my serotonin is so depleted, my brain is screaming for carbs, which seem to give me a bit of temporary lift.

Thank you all for the encouragement and advice.  I appreciate it so much.

I will be thinking of all of you as we take this journey one day at a time.  


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by brokenhearted0909, Jun 22, 2013
Well, i havent been on this thread for a very long time looks like. But I have been off trams for about 33 days now and things like low energy, hopelessness, anxiety, pain and so on seem to be getting better.  I did the taper for about 3 to 4 months and them jumped from 1 to 0. It seemed like the first 4 to 5 days were not bad at all then everything hit at once. Believe me when i say i dont do pain very well.  But i took tylenol a couple times a day and it helped.  It also helps to give yourself a break and take things slowly.  Exercise, eating better, vitamins meditation and reading on here is a BIG help. You can gain a lot of insight from all ex-tram users. Everybodys experience is different as no 2 people are the same. Good luck to all.

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by restmom1, Jun 22, 2013
Day 35 and it's the first day I feel good.Not just better, good.I know that may not be the case tomorrow, still I feel hopeful.One day at a time.I'm not very good at expressing myself but I don't think I would have made it a month without this site.Thank you all.knowing you"re not alone makes all the fifference.I don't know that I have any wisdom to impart.I would say however to be truthful with at least one person.The lies have been eating me alive.Exercise, exercise, exercise. When you think you can't till you think you can't. Then do more.Water all you can drink..EAT!even when you can't stand the thought.Music has saved me through this.Get lost in it.HANG ON.And come out the other end.I realise I have a long way to.go.yet bit today I'm feeling like I.can get there.

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by EmilyPost, Jun 23, 2013
RestMom1 you absolutely speak the truth.  

I will add ... when all that gets to hard, rest and hunker down, distract yourself and live to fight another day.  This is a long haul but the restoration of the ability to be a real human with love and joy in your heart instead of a Tram Seeking Zombie .... all worth it.

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by Jbean77, Jun 24, 2013
You are right on brokenhearted.... no two people are the same and we all experience this differently.
Day 15 here... crazy because it doesn't seem like that long ago. I feel good still. I tapered a bit until I couldn't really control my tapering anymore because being in a state of somewhat "constant" withdrawal that was just really getting to me. I have low energy at times, not sure what is "normal" and what is tram related but I am turning to vitamin water Revive.... lots of electrolytes, potassium and B vitamins. Thats on top of my multi vitamin, b complex, ect that I'm still taking. Exercise I definitely think helps a ton!! I am 4-5x a week.

I have had some anxiety too.... but handling it ok so far. It seems to come at night, before bed. My "annual physical" appt is next week with my doctor. I'm looking forward to telling him I kicked tramadol to the curb!  


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by KC67, Jun 28, 2013
Still here.  Still Tramadol-FREE.  Still struggling.

Day 25.  It's hard.  Still.  Depression and anxiety and a new one....ANGER.  Low patience, easily irritated.

Once again, I know this is not me.  It is the Tramadol leaving my cells.

This is one EVIL drug.  And I mean that with all sincerity.

I work 3 part time jobs.  I don't know if it was partially tram-withdrawal related, but I quit one of my jobs last Friday.  I remember someone giving advice on this journal (earlier) to never make any life changing decisions while on tram.  

I hope I did the right thing.  Outside of the money, there is nothing else I will really miss about that job.

So, Tram withdrawal brings up lots of emotions and feelings.  A LOT.  There have been moments this week where I thought I might even have a nervous breakdown.  Lots of pent up emotion that Tram suppresses.  Also my brain is rewiring.  I am not myself right now.  I hate Tramadol!  It has stolen so much of my life.  

Time is absolutely dragging by.  I feel like my day 20+ days have been like sludging through wet mud or sand.  In the past, I remember around 30 days or so, I felt better.  Not good, but better.  

Trying to distract myself with funny movies or Cooking shows.  Mindless stuff.  

Here's to hoping all of you are having better days.  

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by hatetram, Jul 06, 2013
Hi everybody! I am REALLY hoping somebody will know what I'm talking about or can relate to it enough to give me some suggestions. Here's what my stupid self did. I was messed up with tramadol on and off ( mostly on) for three and a half years. I took my last pill on January 29. I tapered down to one a day and jumped from there thinking that I would not have withdrawal, but trust me when I tell you, it really kicked my butt for about a month. By the end of February, beginning of March, I was pretty much back to normal. Then in the middle of April, six weeks after ending tramadol, I tore a tendon. It was horrible. Unfortunately, I cannot take NSAIDs,which I KNOW would have helped, because of stomach ulcers. So for approximately 5 weeks they had me on Percocet. I feel like an absolute idiot, because I guess I should not have taken Percocet even though I did not abuse it. I only took them the way it was prescribed, four a day, and when the physical therapy started to help I immediately did a very fast taper and got off them, because I know that even though they are not as bad as tramadevil, they are still a narcotic. I had restless legs for a few nights after stopping them, and that was about it.

However, a few weeks after I stopped taking the Percocet, I suddenly woke up one morning feeling like I was right back in the middle of tramadol withdrawal. I was anxious, mood swings, felt like crying all the time, and it really felt like post acute withdrawal syndrome. But what I don't understand is how could that happen when I have not taking tramadol since January 29? Could taking the Percocet for those five weeks have somehow caused a PAWS episode? I'm having a horrible time finding a forum anywhere where people even know what PAWS is, let alone what to do about it.

I understand the syndrome itself, but I don't understand how I could be having it in July when I haven't touched tramadol since January 29. The only thing I can think of is that somehow the Percocet, since it's a narcotic, triggered those symptoms again. Does anyone know anything about post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) and what to do about it. I have Xanax that I have used for the past fifteen years only occasionally for anxiety. I have never in the whole of my life been tempted to abuse it because to me it is nothing more than a glorified sleeping pill. So every few days I take one of them when the symptoms really get bad, and it kind of takes the edge off, but I wish I knew of something natural that treats PAWS because I'm almost positive that's what this is.

I know when you go to a doctor with symptoms like this all they want to do is load you up with antidepressants, and I know I will take a lot of heat for saying this, but I think those drugs mess you up worse. I am not a big proponent of exchanging one addicting substance for another, even if it is an antidepressant. And I know that that's usually what they shove at you when you're suffering from PAWS. That lousy SSRI component in tramadol caused a lot of suffering for me, so I definitely feel like I can't go to a doctor for help because I know that's the kind of junk they're going to prescribe.

I just wish I knew number one, why this is happening so late in the game? and number two, what can I do to make it go away? I know a lot of people might suggest an herb called St. John's wort, but for some reason I had a bad reaction to that and makes me worse. And I tried it on several different occasions just to make sure it wasn't a fluke. But it's definitely not the right herb for me. Is there anyone out there who knows anything about post acute withdrawal syndrome and what you can do about it? And if it can happen this far down the road? Did I bring this on myself by taking stupid Percocet? I know this is a jumbled mess of a post but I'm desperate.

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by VICourageous, Jul 06, 2013
Hi, Hatetram. Even though I came off the Methadone I like to hang here to sometimes. As far as I am concerned  the two go hand in hand as far as the Horrible w/ds and bouncing back. They do not like to let go.
Here is some info I have on a piece of paper from a addiction specialist
After a person has become adjusted to a certain level of drug/experience removal of it affects the emotional/biochemical balance that has been established. The person then has to readjust to living without the previous level of stimulation,etc. Post Acute Withdraws can last up to 1-2years or more. It also has emotional and physiological aspects that are very difficult to endure.
I wish yo the best and good job!!!!

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by hatetram, Jul 06, 2013
THANK YOU! I know so little about all this stuff because the only thing that I ever got messed up with was tramadol. I never abused any other medication ever. In fact, the only reason I got into trouble with tramadol is because I was told it wasn't addicting, and when it got to the point where I had to take more and more to kill the pain and then tried to just stop, I realized it most definitely WAS addicting. They pass that stuff out like it's the cotton candy of painkillers and it's poison. I also didn't know it had an SSRI component in it either. So I am SO grateful to know that post acute withdrawal can last a long time, because somehow I thought it was only a few months and then after that you would not feel anything at all ever again. I'm beginning to see how naïve I am about this whole thing. I can't thank you enough for telling me about that. I am now completely convinced that this is PAWS. Thanks again!

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by FourJays, Jul 06, 2013
Hello hatetram and welcome!  

Wow, I am shocked at how much your story resonates with me.  I also quit Tramadol several months ago (December 1st was my first "clean" day).  Given that I took it daily for over 15 years, it took a little longer for me to feel "normal" again.  In fact, to be honest, even at 7 months clean I still consider myself a work in progress for sure.  But absolutely a SOBER work in progress and feeling 100% better than I did on December 1st (I certainly don't want to deter anyone who is early in recovery or just starting out).  My case IS an extreme.  I used for a LONG time at very, very high doses and quit cold turkey.  I am lucky to be alive today and know that my recovery is going to be a little more 'intense' than the average user.  Anyway, that is a another story for another time.

I have had back problems for years (thus what started my tram 'love/hate affair' many years ago); and in fact had to have cervical spinal fusion surgery last summer.  Since I quit the Tramadol and any/all other opiates months ago I have had to find other ways to deal with the pain, i.e., physical therapy, exercise, healthy eating/living, etc., all of which had been working well until about 3 weeks ago.  I woke up one morning and my neck (where the metal plate & screws were implanted in the surgery), AND my lower back were completely frozen up.  Like I could not stand or straighten myself out; the pain was off the charts.  I had been doing a lot of lifting and physical straining the week before during a massive basement clean up and garage sale that we did; I must have pulled or aggravated something.  Long story short, my dr. knows my addiction story (came clean to him on the 4th day of my detox back in Dec.).  NSAID's of any kind are not an option for me either due to liver/kidney issues (from taking too many of them over the years).  My choices were a (short term) narcotic and/or an epidural injection.  So, I was rx'd, of all things, Percocet!!!  I only ended up needing it for a few days, Thank God.  I did have an injection as well, and fortunately my doctor did it right away and it kicked in pretty quickly.  I am very lucky, my doc is really 'with it' regarding addiction.  Believe it or not he actually KNOWS that Tramadol is highly addictive and very hard to w/d from!  Anyway, he wrote the script for only 20 pills (knowing the shot would not kick in for at least a few days or even up to a week), and I gave them to my husband immediately to give to me only as prescribed (where I got that will power I really don't know - guess I just didn't let myself think about it).   I only took the Percocet for about 4 days, and only as directed.  Never felt any kind of buzz or anything like that.  The shot slowly kicked in and I started to feel better.  

So, Fast forward a few days and I suddenly started feeling the sweats, some RLS and a little of that overall crappy, w/d feeling.  I could not believe it!  Was this w/d symptoms from only 4 days of Percocet, and at such small doses, especially when compared to what my body was used to?  I was absolutely shocked.  No way could this be - after over 6 months clean and now I had to start over again?  Fortunately it only lasted a day or so.  But I still do have some lingering symptoms that, now that I really think about it and look back, have never really completely gone away (lack of energy is my main issue, occasional sweatiness and some sleep problems).  I do know all about PAWS, having first heard about it years ago during one of my many failed attempts at quitting the Tramadol (never made it more than 47 days until now!).  I DO believe that this is exactly what I am experiencing and it is really possible that you are too.  It is my understanding that PAWS symptoms can last for up to a year (according to the research that I have done).  It can come and go and can be triggered by various events.  I think it might be related to the brain receptor thing - when we use opiates, new receptors keep opening up, and then when we stop they freak out because they are still looking for the 'fix'.  Maybe when we took the Percocet these receptors opened back up and triggered some old skeletons or something.  I know I have greatly oversimplified this (my background is in law, no science whatsoever!), and I hope I have not totally butchered the terminology or anything.  Bottom line; I do believe in PAWS and I do think it can pop up even months later.  The really great thing (at least from what I understand), is that it IS temporary.  It does end and we can get our brains back to normal.  It just takes time.  Time - the word that so many addicts hate.  

As far as something 'natural' to help you out now; have you ever tried 5HTP?  My doctor suggested it way back when I first quit.  It has something in in that works with serotonin levels similar to the way Tramadol does.  I started (per his suggestion) at 300mg per day, 100 3 times.  I now just take 100mg at night before bed.  It has seemed to help me with a lot of the symptoms.  I have never really had much trouble with depression and I believe it helped with my energy and definitely with the sleep issues.  I also still take magnesium (also per dr. suggestion); this seems to help the RLS and sleep as well.  

Please forgive my jumbled mess of a post too.  I really can feel for you and just wanted you to know that you are not alone.  I'm really glad you posted because It made me realize what happened to me was probably just the PAWS thing too and completely normal.  In any case, I hope you feel better very soon - and a HUGE congrats to you on all these months clean and free of the evil Tramadol!

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by hatetram, Jul 06, 2013
Wow! This is almost eerily similar, isn't it? Now I am absolutely positively convinced that when I took the Percocet for that amount of time that that is exactly what happened. I think messing around with the Percocet caused a problem for me. I think it made my brain believe I was backtracking to tramadol days or something and now I'm starting all over. Well, not exactly all over, but dealing with a PAWS episode. I don't know what I was thinking about the Percocet. I guess somehow I thought because it wasn't tramadol and I was only taking it as directed that it wouldn't cause any problems. But after reading your post ( and thank you SO much by the way) I am positive that it's PAWS and in a way I'm glad, because I know it will pass. I have just made a hard and fast decision that regardless of what happens, I am not going to take narcotic painkillers. I think all they will do is take my brain backward to where I don't want to go. As far as tramadol, I would not take it again with a gun to my head. I don't know… something just turned over in me back in January and I just know deep in my heart I am so finished with that drug I can't even explain it. In fact, before the bone specialist gave me the Percocet he offered tramadol and I just made up a story ( because I don't want to tell him about my sordid past LOL) and said "oh, that one made me really sick to my stomach… can you give me something else?" I did not even want to LOOK at it! So one thing I am trying to encourage myself with is the fact that the longer my system is completely narcotic free, the closer I will get to the point at which even PAWS doesn't flare up anymore.

Since tramadol for me was only on and off for a little under four years, I don't foresee myself as being one of those people that has PAWS forever. Your post was an absolute encouragement to me. I feel like I can handle anything that comes my way if I have an explanation for it, but when you don't understand what's happening, you think you're nuts or something. I tried five HTP back when I was withdrawing from tram and it seemed to help, but the more time went on, the more I felt like it was jacking me up a little bit too much, as I've never been prone to depression, so I stopped using it. And this episode was a lot more anxiety than depression so I've just been occasionally using this Xanax and meditating really, and that's about it. I know this won't last forever, but it really helps to hear stories like yours and know that it's possible to, as you put it, "stir up old skeletons." I think that's precisely what I did and I'm going to beat it! A lesson learned. Thank you again very much!

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by EmilyPost, Jul 06, 2013

http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=73599


This is a great thread on PAWS ... I like this one quite a bit





http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/626474-Opiate-Withdrawal-Resources-amp-Helpful-Tips



This is interesting reading.  Obviously ignore all that doesn't apply HateTram


But yes, you have PAWS.  3.5 years on Tram, and then 2.5 months without, a serious injury and more opiates.  Your opiate receptors got reminded of ... Hell.  The interesting part is that Tram isn't just an opiate in action, it's an antidepressant as well.  SO you get two massive withdrawals in one.  And the same thing would have happened if you had taken codeine, or say ... started drinking.  It wakes the withdrawal back up.  It doesn't go back to square one ... but I mean ... you're so exhausted that it feels ... exhausting and hopeless.


PAWS is not much talked of cause I mean ... they didn't even tell us how dangerous Tramadol was.  So ... I doubt they go around insisting that some people can suffer so badly.  It's bad medicine.  But Sweetheart, I don't really think you need to blame yourself or ... that you brought it on yourself.


You got injured.  It happens.  I mean we're not all able to be Boy in the Plastic Bubble.  


Given your choices, I think you chose well.  You could have been all ... "OK ... MOAR TRAM!  COME AT ME BRO!"


So ... be gentle and easy and calm.  You did a good job and sometimes we're forced to be really uncomfortable.



Anyhow I hope you find a few coping mechanisms to help you.  You already knew what was happening.  It's just nice to know that others see it too and agree with you and that you will get better.


:)

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by brooklinefred, Jul 06, 2013
Hello I am so glad I discovered this site. I will post more tomorrow but I just need to note or outline the particulars of my Tramadol addiction. The last pill I ingested was last Saturday, so it's been a grand total of 8 days now. I have been addicted to Tramadol for close to 4 years. In the past 2 years I have ingested on average 30 to 40 Tramadol a day. It would be difficult for me to "stretch" 2 scrips of 180 per past 8-10 days. Ordered them online via my "friend" Chris. Sent Priority Mail. The 360 per week approx. This may or will sound stupid, but originally I was not in any pain. I just liked the "high". How I felt.
One week sober. Sleeping is hell, my joints ache...my feet and hands ache and are always "asleep". I have high blood pressure.Any sense of energy is gone. I lost everything. Monetarily and the love and respect from my family. Last week I moved in with my elderly Mother (I am 60) or wind up on the streets or in jail. I have researched this and sort of know or what I can expect in the following days/weeks.  Please..any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I will be posting on this site almost daily.

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by hatetram, Jul 06, 2013
Thank you Emily! I really appreciate what you wrote to me! And the threads! I want to go check them out right NOW! LOL

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by EmilyPost, Jul 06, 2013
I am so glad to help hatetram.  I freakin' hate tram too.  God.  What crap on a cracker. The most interesting part of increasing coping is endorphins.  Did you know that laughter increases endorphins?  Just the anticipation of joyful mirth ... increases endorphins.  We're so complex and beautifully made creatures and we can help ourselves thru many a mess.  I thought it was amazing that anticipation of joy makes us ... chemically happy again.  

Oh brooklinefred I am so glad you posted.  Thank goodness you had a place to move in to and you will be safe.  That's so much tram.  I would hope you are stocked up on Epsom salts and have a bathtub so you can soak.  8 days is awfully amazing.  You're holding steady I hope.  

Words of encouragement.  The worst part is now done.  You are safe and you will be whole and tramadol free.  And you are still alive, didn't suffer any huge seizures or crash a car and kill anyone while on that crap.  I am so glad for you.  That is really amazing, that much tram.  Do you have people you have confided in in real life about this?  I hope some support surrounds you.  You can do this.

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by FourJays, Jul 06, 2013
Hi brooklinefred and welcome!  So glad you found this site and posted.  Congrats on your 8 days free of Tramadol - that is amazing!  I just want to send some support and encouragement your way.  I took Tramadol at the same dosages as you for several years.  I too lost many, many things due to my addiction to this medication; monetarily, emotionally and  physically.  I was able to break free and have been clean for about 7 months now.  Quitting Tramadol was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, but it has been the BEST thing I have ever done in my life.  It is no cake walk, but you CAN do this.  You have survived the worst of the acute w/d's - you NEVER will have to feel that pain/discomfort/overall crappy 'I have died and gone to Hell' feeling again . . NEVER!!!  I am not going to lie; Tram does NOT like to let go.  There will be some tough days to come, but you will get through it.  This site is a life saver - tons of support and great people who have fought this battle and can share experiences and offer suggestions and encouragement to help you through this process.  You have definitely come to the right place....keep posting; we are here for you :)

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by brooklinefred, Jul 07, 2013
I was told that the pain in my joints, hands, and feet would be getting worse before any semblance of getting better. So true. My lack or energy is ridiculous I force myself to take the stairs instead of the elevator. I am going to begin taking multi-vitamins. And this is after 8 days of no tramadol.  My kingdom for a good night's sleep.  I have to finish my long journey. THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE.

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by FourJays, Jul 07, 2013
hey brooklinefred,  same for me on the pain thing AND the energy.  I had (still do occasionally) a lot of numbness and tingling in my hands too - do you get that one?  SO frustrating.  Can you try some OTC remedies for the pain (Tylenol or Advil, etc.).  And the lack of energy - absolutely my worst symptom too.  And Geez, you are already taking the stairs at 8 days?  I am in awe of you.  It took weeks for me to even THINK about stairs!  I finally did, and even dusted off the old treadmill (literally) and it sure has made a difference.  The natural endorphins I got from starting the exercise was the first real 'game changer' for me; things drastically improved from that point on.  So, good for you, keep that up!  Something else that REALLY helped me a lot in those first few weeks with SO many of the ugly w/d symptoms and overall anxiety was just good, long, hot tub soaks.  Add some Epsom salts - Heavenly!!!  Major attitude adjustment material :)  The sleep will come too, I promise; you just gotta hang in.  That one took a while for me, but it DID happen!  I agree with you about the "long journey", and I believe that every minute of it is worth what we will get in return - a lifetime of healthy living - tramadol FREE forever!!!  



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by brooklinefred, Jul 07, 2013
I will be waking up at 8:15 in am tomorrow (Monday). Hopefully I can lie still and sleep at least 3-4 hours tonight. Take a shower ,shave,and drive about 20 minutes to work. I am still in so much joint pain. If you want to see what a tram zombie looks like after 9 days tram free...hey tag along.

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by hatetram, Jul 08, 2013
Well, I am happy to say that this PAWS episode is fading very quickly all of a sudden. Yesterday morning I felt great in church, and before that it had been a while since I felt great in the morning. Then this morning I actually woke up normal instead of that horrible feeling of doom. Tomorrow morning I have a dentist appointment, which if it were a week ago I would not have even considered going because I would know I would feel too horrible in the morning to do it. I'm so happy this is coming to an end, and so sorry that I messed myself up, albeit unintentionally this time! But having tramapoison out of my life is a feeling that is ten times better than anything I ever felt when I was on it. That drug is the weirdest thing. You THINK you are functioning better, you THINK you feel better, you THINK you are enjoying life more, but you really are LESS effective at whatever you're doing, LESS ambitious, LESS mentally aware, and not nearly as happy as you can be without it. It's a strange phenomenon that you don't realize until you're completely off it and say "hey, I feel great! I never felt this great on tramadevil."  I know there is a "honeymoon phase" with all drugs I guess, where you actually DO feel all those things above, but once that's over in the drug turns on you, your miserable person thinking that you're happy person. That's messed up! All I can tell anyone who has ever been tangled up with that horrible drug is that once you see the light about it, you will never ever ever want to go back to it again. So everyone who is still in the middle of withdrawal, take it from someone who's been there… It is SO worth it to reclaim your life from this horrible poison. And I would hate to be the manufacturers of it and the doctors who prescribe it without thinking or researching it and have to face God one day. Shame on all of them.

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by hatetram, Jul 08, 2013
PS... And thanks again, Emily and everybody else who gave me helpful input for this PAWS episode. PAWS is every bit as scary as the withdrawal process, and sometimes even more so because it hits you after the fact when you think you're just fine. So thanks again to everybody who gave me support when I popped out of nowhere onto this forum! I will definitely still be visiting frequently in the future.

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by waterview4326, Jul 09, 2013
I just joined this forum and have a question. I was taking tramadol for 1 year at 4 pills 50 mg per day, I became addicted fast. I have slowly tapered down the past 2 months all the while having withdrawls. I read over all the older journals and for my life a slow taper is best and I am not young. I am now down to 1/4 tab in the am and 1/4 tab in the afternoon, do you think my withdrawls will be less this way? Any advice will be helpful

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by EmilyPost, Jul 09, 2013
Hi Waterview,

I am so so sorry to hear that you are having to go thru this.  Slowly tapering will probably make your withdrawal less acute.   Your brain and guts will have time to have readjusted to functioning without tramadol.

However I would still plan a time to discontinue when you can really be calm and rested and have supplies laid by.  Just in case. And because it's unpredictable what will happen.

To me, that just seems like good planning, you know?  You can do it.

Love,
Em

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by waterview4326, Jul 09, 2013
Thank you Emily. This drug has taken so much from me. I lost myself in it even on just 4 pills. I have fibro and arthritis and I am in my late 50,s. I realized I was ADDICTED when I missed even one dose as I had terrible achiness and lets be REAL here HORRIBLE anxiety. That is why I dedided to taper. I read ALL the old posts from 2009 and ARMED myself with a proper taper, I have told my Dr. and of course yep non=addictive, right!!!!  Any way I bought a pill cutter and have been reducing by 1/4 a tab every 7 days. Well the time is here for me to do the final cut tomorrow to only 1/4 tab and then off. Emily I am scared, I am older than most here, I think. My pain is really not the issue, I took them because in the beginning I thought I was super woman but in reality it sucked my life away, I ended up counting pills, calling in early, everything I never wanted to be.

   I am ready and armed emotionally but the RLS gets me bad, my doctor gave me clonidine a BP med to take in case I needed it, I have all my supplies and my husband is aware , but honestly he has no clue. I have had minor withdrawls all the way through and the fatique , like walking through quicksand at times. I walk in the mornings to help with the fatique and the crying spells that have come over me. My plan is in place but thank you for this forum, Emily it has given me such comfort in knowing I am not crazy or alone, thank you for that. I am scared but I no longer can have this in my body, I became an emotionless person, an addicted person and I no longer liked myself. The taper has mentally helped with KNOWING the high so to speak was over, that ended 2 months ago when I began this taper. Thank you for the support Emily

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by hatetram, Jul 09, 2013
Hey Waterview! I did a very slow taper, and still had full-blown withdrawal. So don't feel discouraged, because that happens sometimes. Some people when they wean off slowly don't feel very much withdrawal, but sometimes it kicks their butt anyway. So do your best not to freak because IT WILL PASS. I jumped from about three quarters of one pill a day and had massive withdrawal. And let's face it, three quarters of one fifty milligram pill is not that much to jump from, and it was still full-blown withdrawal for two and a half weeks. Granted, that's a lot less time than what it probably would've been if I had jumped from like, say, six pills a day. But I was kind of expecting nothing because of how low the dose was when I quit but I got my butt kicked. Going from 1/4 of the pill, you may only have a little bit of time in withdrawal. Certainly much less than those who jump from high doses. So hang in there, because believe me it gets SO much better, and then you get your life back. I'm forty-three, and wasted almost 4 years of my life on that garbage because of course no one told me what it was all about until I was addicted. I took it for Fibro, plantar fasciitis,  and complex ovarian cysts. They tout it like it's the cotton candy of painkillers and it's poison. I know none of this will necessarily help you feel better today, but sometimes it helps to know that what you're going through is normal. I think a lot of people taper and expect to feel nothing and then they get whacked in the face with withdrawal and it's scary! But WHATEVER you end up feeling… It will not be forever! Just keep thinking of the end result! Hope this is a little bit of encouragement!

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by EmilyPost, Jul 09, 2013
I understand that you are feeling scared waterview, but really you already have been living in a half dead emotionless hell and to be honest, Tramadol has probably given you more pain than it took away.  Once the drug turns on you, it starts to cause pain.  And it will cause a bit more pain, but then it will be gone and out of your life.

If I were you, I'd get pissed off.  

Like ... angry because it's a better stance and a more powerful stance than being scared.  It won't get worse than what was probably stealing your soul.  And causing you horrible pain.  Everyone I have met who became dependent on tramadol is always amazed at how little real pain they have after quitting tramadol.  Because Tramadol causes pain ... eventually.

Tramadol tapers bring out the negative voice of the drug.  "You can't do it, you're too old, you need me, I made you better.  Why would you stop when the doctor says you can take me forever?  You're going to regret getting rid of me and you'll comeback ..."

LIES!  It's a liar.

Most people who were at your level of use, report 3 days of bad withdrawal.  I am sure you have had a terrible flu for three days before?  And if you would like, you can ask the Doc for three days of a benzo as long as you are not concerned you'd get addicted.  It helps.  

Seriously, the biggest worst thing would be staying on it ...

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by waterview4326, Jul 09, 2013
Thank you Emily And Hate-tram


   I am so greatful you took the time to answer me. I will be honest HEARING I may experience full blown withdrawl does worry me, HOWEVER I so appreciate hearing from people who have concered this drug. Yes Emily this drug has caused me pain and since I began this taper and I am now more present in my life, I SEE what I have been missing. Hatetram if you don't mind will you share your withdrawls feelings with me. With my taper with EVERY drop in dose I have had chills, hot flashes. very irritable, very sad as I NEVER cried on tram. Most of all I STOPPED sharing my feelings with my husband and friends kind of robotic in a way. Also Emily you are right I found ways in my brain to justify staying on the trams, mostly I kept saying my age was the factor, so crazy. Yes I am afraid and yes I need to get mad at this drug. Also Emily my Dr. was great about the fact I no longer wanted the pills BUT he does NOT think I am having withdrawls. He gave me clonidine said they will help with the creepies I get and she gave me only 14 Xanax. There is no need to worry about the Xanax I have no access other than the 14 pills.

  Yes Hatetram I am shocked you had the full blown withdrawls, really shocked, I really thought a taper would buffer them, however I am ready and have been walking daily, taking the sublingual B12, also a good multivitamin , and magnesium. Also have been doing the Epsom salt baths, I have a low case of withdrawls daily now since only on the 1/4 pill in the morning and 1/4  early afternoon, the fatique is already bad so I fear this most but I am being proactive in my recovery. I want this, I have cut off my only access, and I NEED to get my life back, it is passing me by and I want more for myself.

  Hatetram I hope you will share HOW you got through your withdrawl maybe I can do more to help myself. Emily THANKYOU for this site, I don't feel so afraid now, I don't feel so alone now, I just pray that I can at least function to a degree. My children are grown and I can lay low when I stop the 1/4 pill. Do you think I should stay the full 7 days on the 1/4 pill or should I jump now? Just your thoughts on it, I thank you so much for reaching out to me. Yes the WORST thing would be staying on it, your absolutely right. However I so envy you both you made it to the other side, can't wait to join you
    

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by EmilyPost, Jul 09, 2013
I think staying on the full seven days will give you the reassurance that you did everything you could and I think it will give you time to stock up on funny movies, soup, Epsom salts, vitamins, honey sticks, b-12 sublinguals.  or anything you find soothing.

The Xanax will help, if you happen to need it.  

Teas, lots of chamomile tea.

If you decide you are done ... before 7 days just be sure you have that 3 day window open.  In case you need it.  None of us can tell you what will happen.

Understand that it is actually deeply infuriating that anyone should find themselves in the position you are in.  It's unfair.  Unjust.  Anger is active and helpful, fear is debilitating and makes you weaker in many ways and Tram feeds on people's fear.  It's evil.

And yes, Tramadol goes for the weak spots.  But you'll win!

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by waterview4326, Jul 09, 2013
Emily reading your words tears are falling out my eyes, yes I DO feel it has been unjust I NEVER abused this med, ever. However I am here now and I do believe that the fear is debilitating me. I too believe I will stay the full 7 days on the 1/4 pill as I think you are right I kind of NEED the reassurance, I think most of it is mental. THE WORST part is next week we are getting a new AC unit put in and it takes 2 days to put it in and I am ALREADY so irritable and no AC for a night but hubby is putting window units in for us for that night. Anyway I WILL do this and I will take your advice and ALLOW for the bad days. I will cook in advance for hubby etc. Emily what do the honey sticks do and where do you get them? I have EVERYTHING else as I have been reading this forum for 2 months.  Did you feel like you where walking through quicksand at times, even at my low dose I have zero energy. Yes the TRAM has FED on my fear, Emily I BELIEVED the tram UNTIL I got to this low dose, Tram made me feel like I could NOT function without them, yes it fed on my fear.

   I can't tell you how much your responses have meant to me, nobody understands unless they have been here, I can't believe what has happened to me but I WILL do this and get to the other side of this

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by hatetram, Jul 09, 2013
One thing that helped me, Waterview, in addition to the things you already know, was just telling myself over and over again "this is not real." I know it sounds crazy, but the more I kept telling myself "this is only a physical reaction and in a few months it will be a distant memory" the better I felt. If you start to identify with it as YOU, it will be severely depressing. At least that was my experience. Just like if you have bronchitis or the flu....you expect to feel like  crap for awhile but you KNOW it will go away. Don't identify with it as YOU....see it as the tramadol and what IT caused and keep saying "this is NOT me, this is one TINY part of my life but not my WHOLE life". And keep picturing the end result.....a clean, sober happy YOU!!! Don't dwell on your symptoms because that will make them seem even worse. I use to read Psalms and listen to soft music or watch the animal planet on TV. Anything soothing. And I just kept saying "this too shall pass." and it DID!!!! Hope that offers at least a little comfort or help!

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by hatetram, Jul 09, 2013
Bye the way....I understand feeling scammed b/c I never used ANYTHING to get high or for the wrong reasons. I used it because I thought it was a "safe" painkiller, and then found out to my own detriment that I was lied to. You have every right to be enraged!

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by FourJays, Jul 09, 2013
Hello waterview! Just wanted to lend some more support and encouragement your way.  You can do this, and like hatetram said, it (the detox period), is just a 'physical reaction'.  I have always called it a 'SYMPTOM'.  Because that is all it is.  It is your body reacting to the removal of the evil tramadol from your system.  I tried to think of it as means to an end, the END of your tram Hell forever.  It is temporary.  Once you have taken that very last pill, it is a matter of days and it will be out of your system; GONE.  Forever.  For me it was about 3 to 4 days.  By the 4th day the "symptoms" began to fade.  Not like I suddenly felt fine, but more like I gradually felt less crappy as each day went by.  And I understand the fear thing too.  I am 51 (was 50 when I went through detox).  I was so scared; I just dreaded it.  But you know, you have already been dealing with these symptoms as you have been tapering.  It sounds like you have all the remedies in place and you are ready for this.  Try not to be scared.  For me, the fear was WAY worse than actually living it.  Like Emily said, it is SO like the flu; a bad flu for a few days.  I would bet you have survived much worse than what is in store for you here . . a few days with the flu.  

And I totally agree with the anger thing too Emily!  It is infuriating what this med has taken from all of us.  Waterview, get really mad, get really angry, and get EVEN.  You WILL win this.  You are armed with all the tools and are blessed with a supportive husband.  Once you take that last pill it is literally a matter of days before the acute stuff is OVER.  This is temporary - symptoms only.  They will be GONE soon.

You are going to do great I think.  It is not a cakewalk by any means.  The lovely anti-depressant additive in this med (that none of us were warned about either), does not like to let go.  The emotional ups and downs can be tough and can linger for awhile, but there are tons on natural supplements and/or meds that can help if and when those issues arise for you.  The fact that you are exercising and taking vitamins now, and have done a slow taper will ALL help to lessen the likelihood of problems.  I took tramadol for over  10 years and quit cold turkey from way too high a dose (@ 50 yrs old).  It has not been easy, but it has been SO rewarding and SO worth every single second of pain and/or discomfort.  Trust me, you CAN do this!  Stay here and keep posting.  This is the most wonderful and positive place; full of supportive people that have been through this process, are doing it now, or are making plans :).  I am so thankful everyday for MedHelp and for Emily; and so happy that you have found us!  You are not alone :))


Hatetram - So, so, so glad to hear you are feeling better and I love your positive attitude!  You are SO right, "this too shall pass".  Love it, thank you for reminding me :)

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by waterview4326, Jul 09, 2013
Hatetram and fourjays

     Thank you so much for the encouraging words, I plan to keep posting all the way through this detox. I have been planning this for 2 months and have been reading for many months. I love saying this is not me, you so get where I am at. I mean even now I have moments of complete meltdowns and I have to remove myself from my family, I have to go in the bathroom break down and sob like a baby and then just like it came over me it leaves me. I know it is the tram talking, trying to get me to feed it more, thank you both so much for understanding where I am in my journey to recovery. I simply feel so blessed to be able to go through this with all of you, this secret has been secretly destroying me inside. I KNOW the AD part of the med is the WORST, I mean I completely melt down now on this low dose.

   I will be back on in a bit as I need to get dinner on but just knowing I am not alone and I have new friends on here is so helpful to me. I will win this, my plans have gone EXACTLY as I planned them, I NEVER cheated on my taper because I want freedom so much, I am so thankful I found this forum

                                              See you very soon

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by FourJays, Jul 09, 2013
Waterview,

You are right, it IS the tram talking.  Don't listen.  You are going to be just fine; freedom awaits you and is yours for the taking!  Stay close to this site - we are here and will be as you go through this process :)

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by hatetram, Jul 09, 2013
Thank you Fourjays... I appreciate that!!!! I just found that attitude was EVERYTHING when I was in the mess of withdrawal.

And to Waterview, one thing I forgot to mention that may help a LOT is that it is NOT a linear process. Unlike regular narcotics, tramadol does not affect your neuroreceptors in a distinct pattern, but rather in a random pattern. And apparently, according to almost everyone who has withdrawn from it, the withdrawal is ALSO a random pattern. It jogged my memory when you said that the crying spells ( or any part of it really) come on all at once, and leave all at once. I remember that. I would think to myself "oh I'm starting to feel better, great! I'm over the hump." Then the next day... oops...there's another hump. It can have a tendency to make you feel like you're bipolar or something and it's actually normal for tramadol withdrawal. So it is somewhat of a roller coaster. What I used to do when I would spiral down into depression or have uncontrolled sobbing or anxiety ( without ever having been prone to depression or anxiety before in my life I might add) I would just tell myself "this is going to suddenly disappear, and it won't be that long until it does." And it was true. Then of course, eventually it goes for good. But don't get worked up if it seems like you are making progress and then suddenly you're not making progress, just remind yourself that the process is NOT linear, but rather a roller coaster type pattern. Just keep your hands inside the ride! ( a little dark humor)

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by EmilyPost, Jul 09, 2013
LOL!!  Keep your hands inside the rise is right!

Gotta love the dark humor cause omg Tram withdrawal is so horribly grim.

I agree with amazing Four Jays and Hatetram ...  

It's not linear, it's good to be mad as a camel!

By Honey sticks I mean ... like honey that comes in tea places like Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.  I used to carry those in my purse, because when my energy would crash, I could grab one and it would perk me right back up.  Lots of good things in Honey.  It stabilized me durng the many many freakouts.

And Hatetram also says something that I really have to agree with that is ... The Tram is talking.  The tram is lying ... it tries to present it's Agenda and the "Real and True World"... It's the Drugs Man, it's the Drugs.  A Bad Trip indeed!

And really no one but anyone who has tried to get off this crap can understand.  I mean... it defies the imagination.  I remember being so pissed off that none of my Family or Friends could understand.  But I mean, now hat I am far from it, I can see that it would be impossible unless you had been entrenched in Tram Land.  This stuff really is foisted off as "Safe and Non Addictive and like-taking-a-safer-form-of-Tylenol ..."  So I mean ... yeah that' a Big Fat Lie.

You were tricked.  It's annoying and it STILL pisses me off!  LOL!  Seriously all this time later I am still mad about how many people I see who are lost Tram Zombies.  Horrible.

Oh I was going to say that you should get some ice packs ... I like these big ones called Soft Touch ...
http://www.colonialmedical.com/soft-touch-hot-and-cold-packs-P-1730.html&ref=shopping.google.com

You can re-use them and they are nice and heavy which is so relaxing. Covered in soft cloth, they will not give you freezer burn.  I use them when the air conditioning fails and when I have pain.

They are great for the no air conditioning and later they will be nice if anything aches.  You may need a heating pad too.  If you have a TENS unit ... all the better.  I adore that now Tylenol pain balm ... it is called Tylenol Precise.  There's also Salon pas patches.  those things are at the drugstore. easy peasy.

I promise there is so much you can do about the symptoms!  You are not alone and believe me when I say years from now when some poor soul finds your messages here, it WILL help them.  The connection and understand is invaluable and actually STILL hard to find.

Sorry I made you Cry Honey.  :)  I know how that is when you find someone who helps ... it makes me cry too.

And thank you so much FourJays you are so kind and I so appreciate your wisdom and compassion.  you are a rare person, and it's beautiful to see!

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by waterview4326, Jul 09, 2013
My heart is so touched by all of your wonderful suggestions, literally I am like a babbling crying idiot!!! I mean you girls UNDERSTAND me. FourJays you are so right about the tram talking to me, I KNOW it's TRAM, yet I have to FEEL the feelings now, there is NO buffer now, the only way out now is to finish my taper with my 1/4 pill for 7 days, then I have to deal full force with what awaits me. I take so much wisdom from those that went before me, I HAVE to realize when I am completely off them that it is only temporary. Hatetram I LOVE what you said about the not linear because I feel you are here with me, I can change in a second from hey I feel pretty decent to a full blown meltdown crying about stuff a year ago, it's the tram talking, I do recognize it but when I am having an episode it's SOOOOO real. It is crazy random and honestly it scares me. I was in the nail salon yesterday and the pins and needles feeling came at the bottom of my feet and I wanted to run out kicking and screaming, it was awful, my bra was all wet from the sweat LOL!!!!!!!!

   Emily you are such a wonderful person to have started this forum, trust me I have felt like I have known you, I have been getting all my information here for 2 months. I will definitely get the honey and the ice packs I will purchase this week before my last cut of pill. Let me share with yall how IRRITABLE I am. Well I LOVE my dog, he is my baby, and when I get the tram fits, his panting sends me into a tailspin!!!! It is AWFUL, he is kind of big and well he is HOT and he pants, I NEVER used to get mad at at him but since I got to my low dose it drives me nuts. So Emily I can only imagine when the day comes with the no air to get the new AC I will be piling on the ice packs. I also put the heating pads under my feet already when I sleep as the RLS comes around 8 every night.  So many helpful hints I have gotten here like the clean pajamas by the bed because once I got below 1 pill the night sweats got me. I feel AWFUL every morning like walking through quicksand awful, every single day, then around 2 I start feeling human.  I am already PUSHING myself to walk, clean, cook. Emily you are right nobody understands Tramadol unless they have had to get off it, it's really awful. I to never had depression before, I have NEVER had FATIQUE like this, I mean I have to really PUSH myself but I will beat this, I have no other choice, I will not let the tram voices win.

  Once again I wish I could reach through this screen and thank yall for reaching out to me. I feel hopeful to know you have all been there and sober today. I feel somehow empowered by you girls and I too feel like I can do this. Tomorrow brings my final cut of my taper, I hope taking the dose so low helps me out but I am ready for the battle. I have EVERYTHING except the honey and ice packs but I will get those this week. I am cooking several things this week to freeze so my family will be fed, because I will prepare for the worst in case it happens, yep better to be prepared. I still think of my Dr's face when I said I am addicted to the tramadol and knowing he did not believe me, I mean nobody but yall get it.

  Emily you did make me cry but in a good way, I  am here to get through this and get to where you ladies are, Hatetram, FourJays AND EMILY I am so proud of you, can't wait to get through this detox and to the other side. I will be posting daily and I am going to journal my days here, I feel empowered by all of you and I thank you so much.

  Well off to lay out my clean pajamas in case I sweat through them again, I feel better at night than I do the whole day long. Kind of sad all day from 7 to 2  I feel like doom and gloom, then it kind of leaves for awhile only to start all over the next day LOL!!!!!!!!

   Thank you for the hope and friendship I will be here every day!!!!!!!!!













    

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by Brainfog101, Jul 10, 2013
Hi waterview4326.I am aprox 92 days off tramadol and OMG is it random.For me understanding that the withdrawl would come and go and accepting it made a huge difference but it was absolute HELL.

I think you will do ok because you were not on it that long and your dose was low.I was on it for 3 years and for a while very high doses.In the end I jumped from 6 50mg pills to zero because tapering any lower just prolonged the agony for me.
I am 48yrs old and yes maybe the psychical withdrawl would be easier if we were younger but I think that psychological withdrawl is easier to handles when you're older because by this time we have been through many life stresses and know how to handle it better.This at least is true for me.I cannot imagine going through this hell if I was in my 20's.I'm not sure that I would have made it?I would say I'm now at 90 percent normal.Poor sleep,lack of energy and some restless are still lingering.Thankfully the terrible anxiety,depression and brain fog are almost gone;these symptoms were by far the worst for me

I tried many supplements and amino acids.The only one that worked for me was l-thenine;this supplement is AMAZING,it REALLY helped with anxiety/depression.I would definetly recommend it;it is very effective and very safe and I had absolutely no negative side effects only positive.If you do decide to try it make sure you get the l-thenine(sun-thenine)this brand is the only one that has been tried and tested and proven to be effective.There are many out there don't even contain l-thenine.I got mine at the health food store.Calcium/magnesium was another good one for me;it will help with pain and help you to relax,the brand "new chapters" is the best quality again found at the health food store.

Just remember each time you have paws it will pass and you will get closer and closer to freedom and peace.Try if possible to watch it rather than react to it.I know it may be easier said than done but it will help.Meditation and positive thinking videos (found on YouTube) also helps.What helps the most in the end is TIME and this amazing,helpful,supportive site.

Thanks again Emily and everyone else that has posted on this site especially the veterans that were months out and came back to post and offer hope;this is what kept me going throughout this hell and without knowing what to expect would have made it WAY WORSE for me.

The one great blessing about tramadol withdrawl is that I had and still have absolutely NO CRAVING for it what so ever;the though of it absolutely Sickens me and did almost immediately after withdrawing;this at least is one less nightmare to deal with.

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by waterview4326, Jul 10, 2013
Good Morning

   All through my journey of getting off these pills I wanted to follow someone who did a super slow taper. I realize the way we get off ultimately does not matter as long as we get off the trams. I am going to post my feelings here in case there is someone out there just like me. I feel this morning and every other morning since my dose got this low like a truck has run over me. I awake to a terrible headache EVERY morning so now I just treat the symptoms as they come, I lay my Advil out by the nightstand and some water to take as I wake up lay there 30 more minutes until the pain eases and it always does ease so I am greatful for that. As I arise I feel as I have lead legs as I go down the stairs to retrieve my coffee. The mornings are the worst for me, every morning BUT as the days goes on I do start to feel better slowly so I just somehow know it will get better.

   All my symptoms are very treatable and most are mild except for the fatique. Just the thought of blowdrying my hair seems like a chore HOWEVER like Emily said I will just treat the symptoms as they come. I know from my friends here that this will pass. I will not sugar coat this it is hard and knowing it may get worse enters my mind BUT I will not let it consume me because I know tramadol recovery is different for everyone. So here I sit getting ready to start my very busy day, the busier I am the better it is for me. I am greatful that my symptoms are tolerable so that I can continue my daily life, that was my plan, that is why I chose the taper method. So I know I can do this and anyone out there like me well you are not alone, I sat in silence for months letting the tram brain take me over but not anymore I am down to the end and READY to let it go.  Yes it is definitely a roller coaster ride NEVER knowing exactly HOW I will feel but I am WALKING through it closer to being free, thanks for letting me vent this morning.



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by waterview4326, Jul 10, 2013
Oh brainfog I love your name it describes my brain perfectly right now. Thank you for your suggestions about the l-thenine, I will get some. Right now I have been doing the multi vitamin, b-12 sublingual, magnesium, calcium I have to for my auto-immune disease, which by the way contributes greatly to the fatique for me. I do force myself to walk and do my treadmill if it's raining and trust me it is a FORCE to do it.  It means so much to hear how people overcame Tram because to be honest this has kicked my butt, the emotions that are coming to the surface come out so unexpectly, I am an emotional mess, however this forum and everyone who offers suggestions to me, I feel so lucky. Congrats on your clean time and I will be back this evening to check in, lots to do today and glad that at least I am able to do them. Thank you so much

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by dm3410, Jul 10, 2013
Well im back here again since March of 2009. I got off the trams then but relapsed July of that year. Ever since its been a struggle to stay away from them.Today is my 4th day without taking trams and this time IM STICKING THRU IT!!! Im 34 years old and if i dont have any trams my body feels old and stiff and I feel trapped in the body of a 90 year old. They made me feel young and youthful and in good shape but i guess thats the tram lie. I want off this crap forever but theyre so easy for me to get. This time i tried the loperamide during withdrawal and ill be damned it actually helped a lot! Ive also been taking the Hylands RLS medicine plus multivitamins and calcium, magnesium and calcium. plus my usual meds like paxil, xanax, klonopin, and trileptal which calms my anxiety and helps me sleep. Id love to get back in shape and be more active and lose about 50 pounds but I have no energy(physical or mental) and ive been taking the tyrosine with B vitamins and coQ10 and still no energy to do anything. Well i wish everyone good luck kicking this nasty poison and staying off it.

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by waterview4326, Jul 10, 2013
Hi dm

     I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I am really new here and really have no advice to give because I have slowly been getting off trams, I started tapering and now am down to 1/4 of a tram every morning. I am 20 years older than you so I chose the taper vs cold turkey either way our ultimate goal is to be free right? I know EXACTLY what you mean that you feel 90 years old without trams, me too. I am usually very active and the fatique has really taken it's toll on me. I have done this very seriously and planned several months in advance for this, I am hoping since I tapered so slow and did it exact at least exact to minimize the withwdrawl for me, that I will not have the terrible withdrawls. However I have been reading for months on here and I am still taking the down time if I need it, however I am hoping it won't be terrible. I have had really nice people reach out and help me, read all the previous posts, I believe we can get to the other side, I am NOT letting the tram get me. Follow those who came before us, really the CT people AMAZE me, I mean I could never do that. I have spoken with both cold turkey people and slow tapers, etc, and ultimately I think you are near the turning point of getting better. I think from what I have read day 4 seems to be a turning point for so many people.

  I of course am in no place to offer any advice but if I were you I would cut my sourses of the pills. I had to do that because I would fail if I had easy access to them. How much of the loperamide helped you? I to have ZERO energy but I really am ready to be done with Tram, it has taken so much from me, my personality kind of vanished. I just wanted to cheer you on and really glad day 4 is really great!!!! Keep reading and posting, okay?

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by brooklinefred, Jul 10, 2013
Hi everyone. First of all thank you for all the support and guidance. I have been basically waiting for the proverbial other show to drop. Am I a test case ?  I don't want to be and it's frankly scary. The crazy point of my tram addiction is that I was never in any pain. I just enjoyed how they made me feel.
The 280-300 + trams I ingested weekly over a 2-3 year period personally gave me presents of severe hypertension and a damaged (enlarged) heart. I will be needing a defibulator in my chest to ensure my heart is beating properly. I was in the local hospital a couple of times. When my blood pressure was something like 240 over 140.  I had several tests. What is causing the severe hypertension? Blocked arteries ? I was so addicted to the trams I was not honest with my doctors. I was just could not give up the trams. Possibly I was embarrassed, ect. Possibly a combo of all the above.
My life/health was not worth more than a tiny 50 mg white pill.
This decision (clouded by tram) cost me monetarily and the love and trust of my family. Which "was" important to me.
I hit rock bottom so deep the dirt was figuratively shoved up my nose. I said **** it....I quiet cold turkey.
It is now nearing the completion of day 11. My hands, feet, and back is in a hell of a lot of pain. I can not sleep more that 1-2 hours at a time. My leg muscles are in in quicksand.
In weeks 2,3,4 ect...what can I expect ??  I am no more miserable, or anxious, or having a temper more than I always had so that to me is no big deal. Eventually I will be coming through to the other side. I would like everyone there with me.

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by brooklinefred, Jul 10, 2013
I might have forgot to mention that coming up in August I hit the magic age of 61. So I am sure my recuperative powers or prowess, or lack thereof  will unfortunately reflect that state of affairs. I began taking a multi-vitamin and a couple of supplements.Drinking plenty of water..plus my regular heart pills. When I see stairs I still break out in a cold sweat however. Like Mr Cruise said in "Risky Business"...."Sometimes You Just Have To Say, What The F_ck ".

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by waterview4326, Jul 11, 2013
Brooklinefred,
  
  I can so relate to the legs in quicksand as that is exactly how I feel every morning. You know my approach is different as I tapered but I too stayed taking the trams in kind of an embarrasement because I did not want my family to see me sick but the real problem is if we continue to take the trams. I am sorry you went through so much my situation is a bit different but the bottom line is I KNEW what the TRAMS were doing to me, but I did continue to take them. I so envy those that can cold turkey it, I had to do it the softer way and I still take 1/4 of a tab in the morning only 5 more days.. I just wanted to send you support as day 11 is so great!!!!! All I know is I NEVER had depression or fatique like this but I KNOW it's the tram talking, I am NOT this person. I look forward to day 11 so be proud of yourself, day 11 is great. I have been reading here so much and continue to take your vitamins and I hear sleep seems to be the last to come back but as those before us say it does come back. Everyone with time tells me the SYMPTOMS do go away and I have just kind of started to accept them and treat them as they come, the emotions come out for me out of nowhere but I just try and find a quiet place, cry it out and move on. I too break out in cold sweats, hot flashes all of it but you are well on your way. Others with clean time will be on, but I get where you are as you are not alone, I am going through the same thing.











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by waterview4326, Jul 11, 2013
P.S.   I am in my 50,s so I too am no chicken!!!!!!!!!

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by dm3410, Jul 11, 2013
Well im officially 5 whole days off trams. I swear i slept for about 14 hours and i still feel tired and exhausted! Besides taking a multivit/mineral, b complex, b12 sublingual, iron, coQ10, and 1000 mg of tyrosine during the day and calcium, magnesium, potassium, and 5htp at night. I just hate this tired exhausting feeling all the time! Thanks for the encouragement waterview4326. As for the loperamide i took like 20 at a time and it binds to the opiod recepters which helps with the worst of the withdrawals but you have to take large amounts and only for a few days at the most. As far as cutting off my source i dont think thats gonna help because its my mom who gives them to me. She gets 180 a month but dosent take all of them so she gives some to me for my back and knee pain. Well im gonna try to get some exercise and do some stretches and walk a little bit and do some jogging. Anything to get the old endorphins pumping. I wish everybody good luck and hang in there. Tramadol is a worthy adversary so be tough and strong and NEVER GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION!!! Our lives, health and family are more important than the evil manipulative "devilpill" Til next time

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by waterview4326, Jul 11, 2013
Just checking in and reading some tonight.DM I get the exhaustion it hit me pretty bad today. I thought I was covering it up well and my hubby looked over at me and said you look terrible LOL!!!! Well of course that made me feel that horrible crying jag I get, so I started sobbing, it's crazy. Usually mid afternoon I feel good but not today. I literally felt like I had bowling balls on my feet off and on all day, however I am just riding it out, trying not to over-react to the symptoms but it is really hard.  I know and expect all these symptoms however I will be quite honest I thought with the taper I would get off easier than I am.  I have all my supplies but by far the fatique for me is the WORST!!!!!  I wish everyone well tonight on this journey off getting off tramadol. However the positive side is my mind is really clear and I remember EVERYTHING now, I forgot EVERYTHING while I was taking several trams a day. So there is some positive here!!!

  

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by FourJays, Jul 11, 2013
Hello everyone!

Just want to send some support and encouragement out to all of you detoxing, tapering or lurking (in which case, welcome!).  I hope everyone is doing well in our common battle against the evil tramadol, or "crap on a cracker" as Emily so PERFECTLY describes it :)

Waterview - the big day is coming soon, right?  You are doing great and sound really prepared - I love the prepping meals and such  ahead of time; what a great idea.  I found that having things (in general) cleaned up, neat and organized really helped the stress level so much.  I wanted to suggest something that helped me.  Before the 'big day', I made piles of clean towels & washcloths, t-shirts, underwear and shorts, and (& the PJ's of course!), and stacked them in my bathroom and closet.  I did the same with extra pillow cases, sheets and blankets.  That way, when a hot flash/meltdown occurred I could just strip off the wet clothes and change in to clean and dry things and/or bed linens.  I also had some body spray/perfume/soap all set out ready for use.  Each time it was like starting all over fresh and it was GREAT.  Both physically and for my attitude in general.  And - the irritability thing - OMG, you are SO funny about the dog panting thing.  But even funnier - I can completely understand.  Same exact situation for me, except it was my cat meowing and/or scratching!  And I didn't even want to pet him because his fur just drove me nuts (the shedding).  Poor Kitties....LOL.  Love them but during detox they annoyed me (well, pretty much everything did!),

brooklinefred - congrats on day 12(?).  You asked about what is to come in weeks 2, 3, 4 . .  for me it was a gradual reducing of my symptoms.  It was kind of like little 'windows' of light that would open up.  Moments of clarity that got a little bigger and bigger each day.  Not always consistent, but definitely there.  I had a lot of sneezing and runny nose.  This slowly went away during that time.  Sleep started to return to some semblance of 'normal' about the 3rd to 4th week.  I quit cold turkey like you did, and from very high doses.  On the 30th of November, 2012, the last time I took tramadol, my daily doses were approx. 45 to 50 pills PER DAY.  Yes, PER DAY, and I took them for over 10 years.  Not one bit proud, but true.  I am also 50 years old and have high BP as well.  This recovery has not been easy, but at 7 months clean I feel better than I ever thought possible.  So, please, hang in there.....it will get better!

brainfog101 - Love, love, love your user name!  What a perfect description!  Congrats on 93 days clean; that is awesome.  I loved what you said about it getting a little easier (the mental/emotional part) as we get older.  I totally agree with that, but had never really thought of it before you put it that way.  It is so true....isn't it great - something GOOD about being older :)  I also understand what you said about tapering and jumping off at 6.  I could never taper either.  I am in awe of people that can.  At least you did some, and I am sure it helped overall with the symptoms and will help in the 'big picture' of your recovery.  

dm3410 - Wow, it is great that you are doing this and congrats on 5 days . . . I know I slipped so many times over the years before I finally got it.  And, believe me, I have learned to ALWAYS have my guard up; despite having 1 month clean or 100 years clean.  Do you know what triggered the slip?  You mentioned that the pills are easy for you to get.  is there any way you can cut off this source?  I know for me, there would be NO way I could do this if I had constant access to pills.  In any case, I'm happy you found your way back and hope that you stay with us and keep posting...you CAN do this!

Thank you to all of you for the support and inspiration for me and each other.  When I first found MedHelp several years ago I went right into Emily's journal pages (an event that changed my live and for which I will be forever grateful to Emily!).  I'm not sure how I found it (Google search, etc.).  In any case, I was not aware of the enormity of this site and/or all of the different forums and health pages.  There is SO much information here - just about any medical topic you can think of.  And you know what they say - "Knowledge = Power"!!!  If you haven't already, check out the Addiction, Substance & Abuse forum.  This one is very active 24/7.  You can post questions, comment on the misc. topics/threads, or just read, read, read and learn!  It is not limited to tramadol, but includes any/all addictive substances.  And the people are GREAT.  Perfect place to learn more, get support and GIVE support - pay if forward!  

Good luck everyone. . . hang in there and keep fighting the fight.  You are NOT alone - ever :))

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by waterview4326, Jul 11, 2013
Four Jays

   You made me cry!!!!  I LOVE what you said about stocking the linens etc, thank you. My 1/4 pill taper will be ending on Tuesday. Thank you for the support as this whole detoxing emotionally drains me but I LOVE the suggestions, thankyou for sharing. I love the feeling of clean clothes and linens and the perfume a great idea. I think that will kind of trick my mind into feeling better. You are a really great person, thanks for checking in and the info on the substance abuse forum, and also reminding me I'm not alone, you put a smile on my sad face LOL!!!!!!!!!!

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by KC67, Jul 12, 2013
Hello everyone,
I am so happy that I am still Tram FREE.  

Haven't posted in awhile.  I have been feeling too poorly - got a nice case of bronchitis and it is slowly going away.  In July too!  What???  I am blaming it all on the Tram withdrawal.

Been lurking though.  This site has got to be one of the kindest, most encouraging places to get off these evil pills.  And it is just so nice to see people like Emily, FourJays, and all of you other saints who come back to encourage.  There IS still kindness and compassion in this world, and you can find it right here.

Day 39 for me.  I am better, but still so far from the real me.  I don't want to come on here and be "Debbie Downer", but for me, this drug is still in my cells and it beats me up daily.  I can feel it.  I can still hear the Tram voices.  Today I am having weird auditory symptoms - kind of like an echo in my brain and ears.  I experienced it earlier (around Day 30 ish I think).  Also, depression and anxiety are still present - much less than in the earlier days, but still there.  :-(

I have been on Trams since before 2008 - not exactly sure how long - but probably started some time in 2006.  That's a lot of years.  Also, I have messed with my body's chemistry by starting/stopping many times.  So, maybe my withdrawal is taking longer.  I don't know, but I am through with Trams this time!  Never again will I start back up on them.
I don't care how long it takes me to get back to normal.  I will get there this time.

Things that have improved since Day 1:
*Sleep - getting about 7-8 hours per night (and only waking 1-2 times per night, but able to get right back to sleep)
*Energy - getting better - still having some problems with this, but I do see improvement
*Anxiety/Depression - also getting better.  But VERY slowly.
*Anger/Irritability - getting much better - I know this because I don't want to rip everyone's head off anymore.  LOL.  

I have now gained 10 lbs.  I am not worried about this because my body is craving things that increase my serotonin and energy (like potatoes and pasta and bread).  I will worry about the weight gain later....right now my #1 priority is getting off Trams FOREVER!

My husband knows about my withdrawal, but he keeps asking, "Why is this taking so long?  Shouldn't you be back to normal by now?"  Thank goodness for this journal, or I would think I was crazy.

Interesting what was written above about PAWS.  I had major surgery to remove a benign (but aggressive) tumor in my abdominal region in 2011.  I quit the Tram cold turkey about 20 days before the surgery so I wouldn't have drugs in my system.  Ha!  Well, I know now that 20 days off Tram is still a living Hell.  Anyway, I was given Fentynal (not sure of spelling) for pain, and it didn't work!  Omg.  I had pain the minute I woke up from surgery and felt this horrible burning where the incision was.  My oncologist said, "I had to give you a truck load of Fentynal to stop the pain.  It was a LOT".  

Then when I was released from the hospital and got back home, I had this HORRENDOUS bout of anxiety, depression, and panic.  Crying for days.  Deep, dark sadness.  Now I am certain that the Tram triggered this response.

Thinking back, I am wondering if Tram somehow blocked my receptors into not allowing the Fentynal to work???  Heck, Tram probably caused my tumor in the first place!  It was very scary and I am lucky to be alive right now.

Again, I have to say it....Tram is pure EVIL.  The evil people who created it knew exactly what they were doing.  It's all about the money and getting people hooked until they eventually die from it.  As so many have said, "Tram wants you dead."

For all of you getting ready to jump - or in the midst of withdrawal - you can do this.  As many others have testified, there will be a day when we are back to ourselves and our Tram use will be a distant ugly memory.

Here's to hoping that all of you are having better days very soon!

KC



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by KC67, Jul 12, 2013
Sorry, I forgot to post my tracker again.  I do this for me because I know how much effort and fight it takes to get through each day.  I want to remember.

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by FourJays, Jul 12, 2013
Hi KC67,

HUGE congrats on your 39 days!  And seriously, bronchitis, in July?  I'm sure it was the dang tramadol . . it truly IS the root of ALL evil, I believe!

It is good to hear that the depression and anxiety are starting to lessen for you, and I don't think you are being a "Debbie Downer" at all; just being realistic.  Like you, I took tramadol for a long time (in fact when I started, it was "Ultram"; no generic yet).  I also did the stop/start thing a few times as well.  I took the awful stuff in massive doses and quit cold turkey too.  I think it makes sense that our detox and withdrawal process may well be more intense than for those that are able to taper and/or didn't use the med for very long or take large amounts.  Hopefully our 'extreme' stories will motivate others to taper; especially if coming off long term or high volume use, or even help to deter someone (anyone!) from taking the awful crap to begin with or to get the heck off of it asap!

In any case, it IS going to get better for you, and hopefully very soon!  Just hang in there and keep doing what you are doing . . every single day is a small victory in the WAR against this insidious evil; a war that you are WINNING :))





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by waterview4326, Jul 13, 2013
Good Morning My Tramadol  Friends

    I just wanted to take a moment and post a bit about some of my feelings along the taper. I wanted to post because the 2 months I spent reading all the tramadol posts there were so many people I started following that were doing the same approach as me and they just dropped off the forum, that always frustrated me at the time. For anyone out there tapering I will say that going from the 1/4 pill 2 times a day to only the 1/4 in the morning was the HARDEST of all my drops. Does not seem 1/4 of a pill could cause that much discomfort. Now anyone reading let me say although it was hard I could still function, not at all 100 percent, perhaps maybe 70 percent, I was very slow in moving , I was stiff and sore, and I had the pins and needle feet, and HEAVY legs at times, now just like so many have so graciously said to me those feelings are TERRIBLE  when they hit but they are temporary, it's very random and I thank god that it is not 24/7.

    Now the reason I am posting all my feelings out here is because I have been reading here for 2 months and I seem to FOCUS on reading about the TERRIBLE withdrawls of others, now first let me say this is MY fault, NOBODY has tried to scare me, this forum has been my saving grace in preparing to accept what may or may not happen to me as I leave my 1/4 pill. I believe so much what Emily so KINDLY told me that the TRAMADOL lies to you and I KNOW this is the TRAMADOL making me focus on the terrible stories as if to say if you LEAVE me THIS WILL happen to you. Now I feel I must try to not read as much on here and  not post anymore until my final drop. I have been given a WEALTH of information and trust me I am ready to get to the other side. I planned this so long in advance that mentally I feel ready, I feel like I did everything I could to help myself prepare for this journey. Starting tomorrow I will be crazy busy and then Monday and Tuesday we are getting a new AC system put in, while I am looking forward to the NEW COOL system it will take 2 days for them to install it which will leave us with NO AC Monday evening, I KNOW I will be a bit say WITCHY, anyway I am trying to look at the AC installation the same way as my recovery, I WILL have to go through a bit of discomfort to get to the other side, anyway it will be hard for me to post until Wed. and I did not want to be one of those who just dropped off the forum.

   I will say and I know this is not for everyone but when I experienced such discomfort dropping the 1/4 dose 2 times a day to just once a day, I decided to take my taper down even lower I will do 1/8 of a pill Sunday through Tuesday, I know it's basically pill dust but like I said I am really trying a gentler approach, so I will be back to post when I am completely off in case someone may be doing or thinking of doing the same as me. My stop date is the same and I feel I have done everything to help myself transition to being free of tramadol. I flushed my remaining pills a month ago because I never wanted ANY extra in the house because I have read here of people tapering UP and I want success.  

   Anyone reading this I just want to stress although yes uncomfortable I have been I have  able to do all my regular activities through my taper, I will say the LOWER you go the more you FEEL the withdrawls. If you think about what we have been doing to our bodies it really makes perfect sense we will be uncomfortable.

  I wanted to thank you Emily and FourJays for following up with me. You both gave me a WEALTH of information and encouragement to pursue this journey. You have both been so encouraging and I really needed it. I am prepared I have done everything in advance and I just need to stay positive from this point on, I find myself DWELLING in the withdrawls of other people and it's not good for me. Like I said it's ME, it's the final grips of TRAMADOL screaming at me and I will NOT do it anymore, I WILL win this battle. I wanted to thank everyone who responded to my posts, I feel desperate at times. Emily I ordered the ice packs for my NO AC night and supposed to be here today, Fourjays I have clean linens and clean clothes all lined up, and all my perfun\m's lined up LOL!!!!!!!!  I am doing this to set myself up for success, because I know I am BEYOND ready, my choice to taper so far down may be a bit extreme but I will be back so tell how the transition is, just in case anyone out there is doing the same as me.  Also Hatetram love the not linear, tramadol withdrawl is so crazy and random, and to be honest it FLOORS me HOW much even 1/4 of a pill can effect a mood.

  Okay my friends thanks for letting me vent, I know I would probably not even be missed here but just in case anyone if following I will be back after the detox to tell any taperers out their how MY experience was, I love this forum and I thank all the veteran members who come and help us newbies get through this, Until Next Week my friends

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by brooklinefred, Jul 13, 2013
If I am taking away one constant in this forum is that no two addictions are alike. No two body's chemical makeup are alike or even similar. I was so apprehensive or let us say scared ********, when I fell of the Mt Everest of addiction....from over 300 trams a week to zero, I thought I would be in the proverbial rubber room after 15 days tram free.However my legs have graduated from being powerless in quicksand to making it in regular mud. Eventually the curtain encompassing my soul will commence to rise acknowledging the balance of life process of reintroducing myself to the world.

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by flippers, Jul 14, 2013
I'll make this short. Been on Tram for 7 years, quite for 3, 4, and 8 months only to come back. My main focus has been on the drug itself: it's properties, effects on the body, easing withdrawals, tapering, using DXM or Loparamide for withdrawals, low dose vs high dose, staggered dose, and on and on and on. I never once explored the root of addiction and always thought genetics were in form control. I cannot recommend anything more than this video. Without question the greatest hour I've ever spent on the computer. Please do so only when you can devote enough time to watch the entire 64 mins. For me, it's quite simply "the answer to everything"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpHiFqXCYKc

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by hatetram, Jul 15, 2013
Sorry I have been MIA everybody. This is almost too horrible to even visit on anyone here, but I just found out one of my family members (who unlike myself has an EXTREMELY addictive personality and problem with pills) has gotten her hands on tramadol and is now coming up with excuse after excuse why she needs to take 6 to 8 every day. The rest of my family is completely hoodwinked by the stories she makes up to abuse this pill and I never knew this was going on until a few days ago. Absolutely nothing I said has convinced her or anyone else that there is a problem. However, I know her, and she has a long history of abusing medication, why I don't know. I am just devastated. I got on that drug by accident and when I realized what it was doing to me I got rid of it. But she has had substance abuse problems ( not with illegal drugs, but nevertheless…) for a long time and I am just petrified that something horrible is going to happen now that she found the devil drug. Sorry to dump this on everyone else, but honestly… who else would understand how I feel?. As far as me, my PAWS episode is apparently over and I am back to my wonderful, energetic, happy, uplifted, NORMAL pre-tramadol self. Just very worried about my family member.

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by movingrightalong, Jul 16, 2013
HI. I'm on day 10 of a slow taper, down to 7 per day. I've been trying every single day for about 4-5 years to stop this drug. At one point I was up to 25-30 per day, sometimes more. In the last year I've managed to get down to 10-15 and now I took another big drop and will deal for awhile. CT will not work for me, I just don't yet have the resources, strength, self-confidence, to deal with my emotions. But I'm slowly gaining them. I've been in OA, AA, NA off and on for 15 years (switched addictions), so I've suffered with the disease of addiction basically since I was about 12 years old. I am 44. I'm a successful business owner, wife, and mother, but at the point where I'm about to lose everything to this drug. It's only going to get worse. They lying, hiding, deception, self-loathing, inability to be present for the ones I love because I'm so ******* caught up in the drug, it is not for me anymore. I've been through w/d many times due to limited tramadol supply. I'm not afraid of that. I'm afraid of relapsing. AA/NA is giving me some tools to cope with the reasons I pop those pills everytime I don't want to deal or consequently, heighten the good feeling. Whatever, I don't need a reason to take them. I'm just an addict. I'm still having trouble envisioning my life without tramadol, and I have to coommit to the fact that I have to stop altogether. Step One. Thanks. BTW. I've been lurking here for about 3 years and even started posting  once in a moment of clarify, but quickly relapsed and haven't felt in a good enough place to post again.

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by waterview4326, Jul 16, 2013
Just wanted to say to flippers really good video you posted. I am currently only on 1/8 now of a tramadol been tapering for 2 months. I do have to say that the video EXPLAINED WHY I feel so fatiqued and irritable, anyone here check out this video. I mean it really does not help us during the withdrawls BUT it EXPLAINS WHY we have them. I get fits of rage and anger that come over me now, my dose is at the most minimum amount and I FEEL awful, the video so beautifully explained addiction and our MIND set. Somehow when the crying comes over me, I KNOW WHY my brain is NOT getting what it wants, it is temporary but I appreciate the info on it.

   Many thanks again LLady and Emily anf Fourjays I am still here. I have rage over me now the Air People are here and well I will have no air for 1 day and a half, so NEEDLESS to say I am over=reacting, my whole family is coping well except me, it's more the tram withdrawl and not the air, well it is 96 here, they gave us 2 window units and well our home is 2 stories and unless you sit in front of them it's not much relief. I am so emotional yet proud I have tapered to 1/8 of a pill, since I was on several a day. My pharamist thinks the lower the taper if you can the better because of the dual properties in tram, however I know I only have one more day on this. I have no pills left because I want this over so bad, cut my connections to my Dr. and I am more than ready for this. Crazy holding on to the 1/8 of a pill but it is what I chose to do. Okay pray I keep my cool today, I OVER_REACTED yesterday due to withdrawl and had the AC people post=poned, this tramadol withdrawl is a witch, it really is. The video really helped me to SEE WHY I FEEL this way and thank you to everyone for reaching out.
   Moving Right Along you will get there I tapered and it's not for everyone, it takes TONS of patience but I believe if you do it right and NEVER go back up, keep going down by every few days you can fuction at a decent level. I wish you much luck, now back to trying to control my emotions for the day, my dogs are INSANE with the people here and PANTING everywhere due to the heat, I am a mess because I am hot, but by tomorrow brand new AC so that's good, love to all here today

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by hatetram, Jul 16, 2013
Hang in there everybody! Anyone who's going through a tough time right now, rest assured it WILL come to an end. I was just sitting here today thinking about how I felt when I took my last pill in January. The depression I spiraled down into was awful, followed by horrible anxiety and a lot of the things you guys are posting right now. But it does end. Obviously, you have to watch out for PAWS, but the relief you will feel when you finally get the demon drug out of your life is incomparable. Hang in there everyone. I am approaching six months tram free and have never felt better!

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by Brainfog101, Jul 16, 2013
Hatetram-thanks for your encouraging words.I really need to hear this today.I am 99 days into tramadol withdrawl and thought I had beaten the 90 day paws,but I'm having a pretty bad day with depression mainly.I don't like to post unless I have something  positive to say but I'm a little worried that I feel this bad so far out.

How long did it take for your depression/anxiety to go away completely?

Thanks again

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by hatetram, Jul 16, 2013
It was a long haul believe me. And the more you took and the longer you were on it the longer it can take. One thing that I hope will be encouraging is if you remind yourself that it is NOT a linear process. When you get about two or three months out you start thinking "okay, I'm over the hump, back to normal" and then two or three weeks later all of a sudden there's another hump. It can get VERY discouraging because of its roller coaster characteristics. I am just starting to feel consistently happy and energetic and I am about five and a half months out. So believe me, it can take a while but every day that passes is one day closer to feeling permanently better!

Ps. How much were you taking before you quit?

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by chocoholic0211, Jul 16, 2013
Hi guys,

I just wanted to give a quick update on how I was doing. I stopped taking tramadol around a month ago, I haven't been counting days, though. The withdrawal part was very easy on me, compared to what most of you have described here, and lasted around 5-7 days. In my case the only emotional symptom was heightened emotional lability but it went away pretty quickly and was soon replaced by an even calm feeling. I am feeling so much better (both emotionally and physically) than I used to when I was taking tramadol and I can finally enjoy doing all the things that it prevented me from fully participating in.

I'm guessing that the reason why my withdrawal was so short-lived is the fact that I "only" used it for a year and in relatively small doses (most of the time 100mg  but never more than 250mg per day). Some of the things that helped me through the worst of the symptoms were sunlight, music, dancing, exercise during the day, meditation at night, connecting with my friends and watching funny videos.

Flippers, that video is spot on, thanks for posting it here.

I'd like to thank everyone who supported me here on this site. I really appreciate all of your kind words and wisdom of your own experiences!

Good luck to all of you who are still struggling to get better- it might  not be tomorrow, but that day will come. Hang in there in the meantime and always remember that there are kind people out there who can help you- you just need to reach out to them and let them help you.




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by Brainfog101, Jul 17, 2013
Hi hate tram--Thank you so much for responding.I was on tramadol for 3 yrs.I was taking on average 12 to 15 pills daily and for a few months I was taking up to 30 50mg pills daily.I did taper and eventually went cold turkey from 6 to zero.

Flipper--thanks for the video.I did find it very interesting but what about the people like me and I'm sure others on here.I never took a pain pill in my life until I was about 40yrs old.I also came from a loving family and was never around any kind of drugs in my life until I injured my backI.I initially hated the way I felt when I took my first narcotic ;I felt it changed me in a negative way.I believe no matter who you are or where you came from if you take narcotics whether it is for pain or recreational use that it will eventually change your brain chemistry if you take them for a long time on/off or daily.

I remember how I felt before pain pills and it was so much better than any day that I was on pain pills.The natural high is so much better than any high I ever got from taking meds.They will so totally destroy you spiritually.

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by Brainfog101, Jul 17, 2013
I really hope the above post does not discourage anyone;It was not meant to.I am just stating what I believe to be fact.

I am a little over 3 months out and feel better than I did at 2 months.It's like what hatetram said it can be frustrating because you expect it to be better and think you have finally beaten it only to have paws attack you again and you wonder what did I do?what brought it on?but again we need to remember that it is random.Remember for those who took it small amounts for short periods it will not last as long as It is for people like me that took it for a long time in high doses.

Even though it is a long hard journey to endure ;it is WELL WORTH getting off and staying off.This make take me 6 months even possibly a year?I don't know but I'm extremely determined to stay off.You have to be really determined ,it has to be the most important thing you EVER do in your entire like.You have to be the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE because if you're not then it is impossible to help or be any good to anyone else in your life

I have days when I feel good and remember what I was like before I took tramadol and I love the feeling and know that eventually these days will be more consistent.I also know that this journey will definetly make me stronger and better although I am a strong person anyway

I was raised catholic and went to an girls convent/school but to be honest I am actually in no way religious but I am spiritual.I believe in something bigger and higher whether it is within myself or outside myself ?it exists and will help on this journey.Listening to meditation/relaxation videos helps a lot if done daily;it puts me in a much better frame of mind and helps me to be more positive.Daily practice is essential.

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by flippers, Jul 17, 2013
Brain - it's a good point, but I'm still convinced this is addiction all the way. You can goole loparamide (Imodium) or robatussin, or Benadryl with the word "addiction" or "withdrawal" and find these same forums, with everyone talking about how horrible the drug is and how no one saw if coming. In the video he mentions that 20% of the GI's coming back from Vietnam were heroin addicts, and 5 years later, only 1% of them were addicts tells a lot about addiction and not the drug. BTW, one of his main claims (and other neuroendochronologist shared the same belief) is that a stressful environment, particularly in early development, is a significant factor in addiction.We all know that millions of people around the world will use tram and never get addicted to it. BTW, tram addicion is highest in the middle east. If you google tram (and we have all done it) most of the "news" is on tram being smuggled into the middle east. Its a massive problem there. (wonder why)

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by Brainfog101, Jul 17, 2013
Flippers---very very interesting point and it may be true?My mother did tell me that after I was born that she did suffer from postpartum depression.For the most part of my life I would say I have been a happy,stable,strong person with ups/down like everyone else.

I am a registered nurse and injured my back when working in the hospital at the age of 39yrs.Like I said the first time I took a narcotic/opioid?the feeling that I got from taking it were negative;I did not get that good loving feeling from them at all.I felt depressed ,irritable and psychically bad.My pain was initially very severe.I was a single parent and owned  a home and had to take the pills to function.I only took them when I was desperateThe pain got better and I was happy to be off them then the pain would come back and I would be on them.On/off for years until I eventually felt I needed them to function and be normal.I have felt more positive,relaxed ,loving,happy feeling from Accupuncture and exercise initially than I ever did from pain pills.When I was younger I smoked pot twice in my life and also hated that feeling.
  
I would not be surprised at all if the above were true.What happens to us in the early years of life builds the foundation for the rest of our life and everything we do is driven by our subconscious:this I absolutely believe is true.So what does it mean?does it mean that those of us that got less nurturing as babies than others are going to have a lifelong fight and struggle to find peace and happiness.I sure hope not.

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by flippers, Jul 17, 2013
Very interesting Brain. I'm no expert, just a "student" trying to learn as much as possible. If you Google "The Robins Study" you can see for yourself about whole war vs herion addict vs low rate of addiction after 5 years/at home. And I think we can all agree that herion tops the list as one of the most addictive drugs out there. I also know a fair amount of people on this forum replapse (myself included x 3 times) but I'm not judging anyone, just trying to make the point that, IMHO, we are talking about addiction here.

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by EmilyPost, Jul 17, 2013
This thread is closed.

Please move to Part 59!


http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/822669/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-59

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