Mar 22, 2009
After being hypomanic for 4 days, I think I'm coming down. Spent the whole day out with friends yesterday, and managed to avoid any trouble... even made it through Oxford St without going bankrupt ;). Today havent necessarily felt manic, but I'm still feeling good... normal even. I was hoping that it would stay that way, though after helping a few friends through their various "crises", I fear I may be coming down again.
Why is it that I'm the one they always come to?
None of them really know that I'm bipolar, most just see me as moody, though two know something isnt quite right after a big emotional outburst as I went from hypomanic to depressed in front of their very eyes (by the look on their faces, you'd think I was transforming into a werewolf! lol). And one of them later called me a manic depressive... though I'm not sure what he meant by that or if he even knows what it means, but the point is I still couldn't tell him.
I think that's why I always try to act emotionally detached... my emotions kept safely behind a dam and opening the floodgates has disastrous consequences. I think that is why they all come to me with their problems, they never really see the pressure that is built up behind that dam. I love helping people out, (hell, if I can't get my own life in order, might as well help out someone else!) but I need to learn to stop, or at least pull back when it starts affecting my stability.