What is going on?

Well I spent Easter night in the ER until Monday morning. I have had these cramps for almost three weeks and I thought I was good. Reading all the material and taling to my Dr. Office. I figured no bleeding no problems. UGH! Sunday evening I went home. Went tinkle and wiped and noticed bright red blood. I was sighed and a feeling of sadness came over me.I called my husband as I sat on the bathtub and he came in and I said, "We lost another one." He immediately went to the commode and looked. He came out and said, "Baby it's okay, aren't you suppose to bleed?" I told him not at almost 2 months of pregnancy along with cramps. I sat in the tub and asked him if I could be left alone. He left...I wondered. Will I lose it this time.  tried to be hopeful. I talked to God and told him that if this is it, I am not going to do to well. I wanted to cry but I didn't.

There was bright red blood and what looked like a clot at the bottom of the commode. I got bold and stuck my hand in the toilet and picked it up. I dissolved. It was not a clot nor was it tissue.

I laid in the bed. Asked my husband to bring me some anti-anxiety medication. He was hesitant, he said, "What if nothing is wrong, I don't want you to hurt the baby." I said he needed to bring it because I want to go to sleep and I do not want to think about it. I began to think as he didn't do what I asked him to do as quick as I wanted him to. I said I can wait til morn or I can take myself to the E.R. for some peace of mind. It is what it is and if it is what I think or it is what I don't think (confusing I know.) then I can be put at ease with the ending reults if I go to the E.R. rather than wait to go see my Dr. then they send me to do an ultrasound.

I got up got dressed and my husband followed me down the stairs and said wherever I was going he was going to. See, I tend to get a little honorary when things are going bad or I am in pain. I clam up and don't speak. So my husband new something was up. I got in the car, he jumped in the car with my 10 year old. He drove and I rode.

E.R was not fun. I left a urine sample, had my blood drawn did and ultrasound. This all took 5 hours. By the sixth hour I was ready to leave. UGH!!! The ultrasound which was done in my firs 2 hours. I was able to hear a heartbeat. Couldn't tell if it was mine, because it seemed slow. I asked the little rude tech, Was that my heartbeat? She said, "Um, E.R. doctor will talk to you." I was disappointed that she could not answer such a simple question. Well 4 hours later I got an answer handed to me on a piece of paper.

Good news embryo is in the uterus and is measuring about 7 weeks. Cardiac activity noted. There is a small hemmorhage noted. "Threatened Abortion"

My little bean is sticking, but my body is not acting right. I am still cramping and that scares me.

I went to my OB today and she said there is nothing that can be done. She wishes she could give me a little pill that makes it go away. She promised me an ultrasound next Wednesday. To see if the bleed has grown or has clotted. I pray that God puts his hand in it...I am just wanting this to happen and so is my husband.

I am going to stay home until next Wednesday. I got chewed out for going into the office after my appointment today, but I knew if I stayed home I would worry and my mind would run a thousand miles a minute. So I got a lot of work done. Didn't stress, or at least I don't think I did. I figured I completed enough to last me until next week. So I am going to kick it at home. Rent some flicks, get my bible and read and maybe even have my husband find a masseuse that can come over with HIS table and oils and music and give me a good massage. LOL!