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My History of Abuse

Apr 21, 2013 - 0 comments

Here is a history of my use:

-I was in the Marine Corps and did a lot of physical activity.  This caused bilateral patella femoral syndrome.  I was given Tramadol and abused it.  Instead of one, I would take 8.  I did this periodically until November of 2009 when I was in a car accident and had severe neck and back injuries.  Since then I have heavily abused prescription medication.

- I have been prescribed and abused Percocet, Norco, Klonopin, Soma, Neurontin, Adderall and Lunesta.  I always take more than the prescribed and always run out early.  I "lose medication" and get doctors to authorize early refill for controlled meds or I pay out of pocket for a refill.

-I would get 120 Norco (or sometimes other pain meds) at a time and burn through them in 7-10 days (although lately it's faster).  I would experience mild withdrawal, but it was manageable.  I never used to illegally purchase or doctor shop when I ran out, but that all changed about 10 months ago.   I started getting desperate when I ran out of meds so I was submitting my online requests for the Norco refill early.  Even though the doc included a note that said "do not fill before X date", I could usually find a pharmacy that didn't see the additional instruction and filled it.  A couple of times I got a script for Tramadol from my primary care doc and I went to Urgent Care twice and got a script for Percocet.  That was my fatal error.

My Doctor noticed that I was filling scripts early.  This prompted her to run a report through the Virginia Prescription Monitoring Program (PMP) and she saw the two scripts I got from Urgent Care.  She gave me a final script for 120 Tramadol and dropped me as a patient.

After that I got a couple of scripts from my primary care doctor for Tramadol for knee pain.  I also got another Tramadol script from another doctor that I used to see on occasion.  In Virginia, Tramadol is not "controlled' so it doesn't show up if a doctor runs a PMP report.  Eventually my main doctor sent me to a specialist for my knee pain (which is legit…I continue to have pain from the damage done during my military days and the VA has given my a disability rating of 20% for my condition).  I found an orthopedic surgeon and he has been writing my pain meds for several months (generally this is Tramadol and Norco).

At one point I needed meds and went back to my primary care doctor for back pain.  I told them I was receiving pain meds from the ortho, but needed something stronger for the back pain.  They wrote the script for Percocet.  On a couple of occasions "I lost" the script and they re-wrote it for me.  I pushed my luck too far because the last time I went in there, the doc was holding a PMP printout and asked my about the scrips I was receiving from the Ortho.  I told her that was for another issue which I had disclosed.  She said only one doc should be writing for pain meds and suggested that I have him treat my pack pain issues.

During my next Ortho appointment, I gave them a copy of my back MRI and told them that my primary care doc recommended that the Ortho treat all of my issues.

My Ortho did surgery on my right knee on 2/21/2013.  That was miserable.  I ended up in the ER twice for pain management and both times got a script for stronger Oxycodone.  At this point my insurance, seeing the multiple scripts for controlled meds, called my Ortho.  He was really cool about it.  He knew I went to the ER and luckily it was documented that I had seen my primary care doc for my back before I brought those issues to him.  He told me that from here on out, he is the only person that can write my pain meds.  Around this time I started buying pain meds from someone I know.  I've spent a ton of money doing this and I hate that I've been reduced to this.

I had surgery on the left knee a couple of weeks ago and that has been equally bad.  If I don't have a valid script, I am constantly thinking about where I can get some meds.

So the plot thickens a little.  I recently started seeing a psychiatrist.  My main reason for doing so is because I wanted to get a scrip for Adderall.  Suprisingly, he gave me one, but said it was a one time deal and that he wouldn't give it to me on a long term basis.  A few days days ago I went back to work following the surgery and then called my psychiatrist and told him I was completely overwhelmed and needed Adderall.  He said he would not write it, but if I really felt that it would help me get through the next few days, I could go to my primary care doc and ask for the script.  He said to tell them I was under his care and that he was ok with it on a short term basis.  Keep in mind I have two primary care doctors that I go to.  I went to one and they gave me the script.  I got the script on Monday and they were gone by Wednesday.  I tried to call and say I "lost" the script, but they wouldn't re-write it because it's controlled.

Here is where the drug addict does something stupid.  I went to my other doctor and told him the whole story (of course I omitted that I just got a script two days ago) and he wrote me a script too.  I'm worried my insurance is going to call the doctors and tell them what I've done.  I'm sure they already have me flagged from the last time with the narcotics.  What's worse is that the second script of Adderall is already gone.  I ate 30 pills in a little over 24 hours.

I just need to get a handle on this or I am going to end up dead.  Either the drugs will go it, or the depression that comes when I don't have any.  I am also worried that I am going to get in trouble for doctor shopping.  I want to quit, I just don't know how.

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