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Tramadol & Ultram Withdrawal & Taper Recovery Room, Part 5

Mar 26, 2009 - 136 comments
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Howdy Tramadol Warriors!

New space

New day!

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by KC67, Mar 26, 2009
Noodle,
You are doing great.  Day 1.  (((((((((((((Big hugs))))))))))))))))))))

The nerve tingling and shortness of breath is normal and does eventually subside.  Hang in there!  You can do this.  
Focus on the prize...being Tram FREE and being able to come to this site and say:

"I am officially XX days FREE of Tramadol!"

You WILL be able to say this.  I have faith in you.

Sincerely with hope and love,
KC

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by noodlegrl, Mar 26, 2009
Thank you KC!

I guess its been about 31 hours since my last Tram-pooh. I took a xan at about 1 because I was starting to have anxiety.

When should I expect the worst to begin? Tonight or tomorrow?

I have pains in my head. I don't know if its what I heard call a zap. Its started as just a sharp pain happening randomly on different spots in my head, now as I am sitting down, its like a dull pulsing, and when I stand up its like a release of blood and it pounds for a couple seconds then goes back to the dull pulsing... I guess its just a headache.

All I wanna do is go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

noodle

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by KC67, Mar 26, 2009
Noodle,
Days 4 and 5 were the worst for me, but your journey could be different.

The brain zaps are the antidepressant in Tramadol,  "leaving the building".  Those happened randomly for me for about 2 weeks.

Day 1 - almost over for you....Day 2 - bring it on!!!!

You can do this!

KC

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by EmilyPost, Mar 26, 2009
(((noodle))) The other shoe may never drop! You tapered, so hopefully this is the worst of it. I'm glad you have some relief from your anxiety. It's going to be ok. I'm ok now from the Tramadol. It did not do perminant damage or anything :D

KC you're such a sweetheart!

Thank you all for being here!



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by bodegirl, Mar 26, 2009

Noodle, you will be ok.  The worst may be behind you. Good for you for taking that brave step to being tram free!  Keep going, you can do it.  We're all cheering you on.


Day 26 and Im still going.  I realized today that my energy zap may be partially related to other major stressors I have going on...things I have yet to talk about but I will when I feel stronger, I promise.

I hope everyone is having a "good" day.  Thinking of you all.


xo
bdgrl


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by Aleisha, Mar 27, 2009
Hello All,
Wow, I never realized how many people suffer with addiction to tramadol.  Like so many others, I was told it was safe, and nonaddictive.  After being sick for a few days, thought I was going to die, I researched tramadol, WOW, is all I have to say.  I am a registered nurse, and I never knew half of this stuff about tramadol.  I was in a car accident when I was 17, and have herniated disks in my neck, so I wanted something to take for the pain and this was what was prescribed for me.  I think it's almost better to be in pain.  I am tapering down, I tried cold turkey, not realizing that's what is was (that's when I was sick for a few days).  I couldn't handle it.  I go to school full-time and work full-time, so I couldn't go c/t, because I can't take anytime off.  I've worked out a six week taper, I am on day two, week two, and other than this horrible headache, I have no other symptoms.  I'm very stubborn, and I'm hoping that this will give the force to get out of this tram-mess I have gotten myself into.  I wish all of you so much luck, I can't believe how strong you are for going c/t.  And, for the lack of knowledge in the medical system, I'm thinking about doing some local education.  Tramadol is one of the only pain medications prescribed in my area, because the physicians here thinks it's safe, well, someone needs to tell them it's not.

This forum is great, I love to read everybody's progress, it gives me encouragement to keep going and fighting!

Aleisha

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by FinallyFred, Mar 27, 2009
Aleisha - Hey you.  Yes, welcome to our world.  You'll find that there are all sorts who post here.  Me, I just sort of beat a drum.  Others here have some great practical and medical insights.  Surprisingly, we have had a great many nurses here who have become slaves to this terrible drug.  Yes, "local education" is needed.  

***

The thing with this drug is that it is fairly new on the scene.   The available information is largely defined by the drug trials run by "researchers" paid for by drug manufacturers.  The warnings about "tolerance' one WILL build up over time and the WITHDRAWAL symptoms ANY person will experience are minimized.  "Synthetic" opiates may be man made, but they are opiates with a bit of a twist...like the antidepressants that are thrown in to keep us happy while we slowly kill ourselves.  yummy yummy, taking em like candy.  

I'd like to take all the drug manufacturers, marketing reps, and physicians who prescribe this as a "safe" alternative to REAL opiates out on a field trip for a few weeks.  Feed them tramadol with their marshmellows for a few weeks even, and then send them back to work and take this drug away.  Suddenly, a rash of "the flu" would break out for every one of them.

This drug takes us all down the same way.  It's physical.  Physical withdrawl with remarkably similar symptoms.  

Doesn't matter how smart a person is...

Or what their education may be...

Or whether they are blue collar, white collar, or no collar...

TRAM KILLS...  

Gradually the TRUTH is becoming known.  

Too late for me and you.  

But I predict that the TRUTH about the drug that has now gradually becoming "scheduled" in some states, will be fully known.

Too late for you and me.

60 minutes WILL one day expose this drug for what it is.

But that will be too late for you and me.

But we have these friends.  Others who know me as I know them.  Who feel that common aweful dawning of being poisoned, hooked and snookered by people getting fat at our expense.  


KA THUMP...jumping down off the old soapbox.  It's really all I can share though.  What it was like for me on the trams, what happened(this place gave me the hope to STOP) , and what it's like now for me (YAY, freedom from the damn tram).  

Courage, Strength and LOVE.

Fred

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by ScottRbrained, Mar 27, 2009
Well everyone,  Day 9 down and out!       Cold Turkey!      Still getting those kind of cold aches in my skin, but sleeping a whole lot better.   I sleep during the day due to my night job. I even stay up on my days off.  Being absolutely alone at night is not so good when you are going through withdrawals, but I have not suffered as much as alot of you guys have.  I guess it is different for each case.         I hope that you are right about 60 minutes Fred.    I don't want much from a clas-action lawsuit, no money, no apology,  just make all of the doctors take Tramadol till they lock themselves up in a cold, dark room, curled up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth in a pool of their own dirty sweat, because they have not slept in four days and want to gouge their own eyes out with hot poker!   AND I WANT TO WATCH!          Revenge is sweet when served up cold,          Scott.  

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by Shadetree, Mar 27, 2009
Dear Luckytobehere,

Welcome, and glad you found us. How did you o/d ? was it a result of just using or did you take to much? I got into a car accident after I took to much...I blacked out and woke up upside down. I flipped my car! Lucky no one was hurt.

So I am tapering right now. I couldnt see my self just quiting c/t or putting my family through that. But I think tapering might be worse! No one knows, or would guess for that matter.

This is an awsome place to be for support. We all have the same miscreant little white pill in common... :(

Talk to ya soon...

~Shade

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by noodlegrl, Mar 27, 2009
Hi all...

Welcome ALEISHA! Even though this is such a grueling thing to meet for and have in common, it is exciting to see people come and join the war. We battle together! CHARGE!!

YAY Scott! 9 days CT! Whoop Whoop! Congrats! You are very WELL on your way to being FREE and NORMAL again :)

Em, Bode, KC, everyone - Thank you so much for your support. I logged on last night when no one was looking to see some encouragement. It really really really helps. I am glad I found this place and decided to take the steps to join because I would probably be freaking out way more!

Fred - always love reading your posts. My sage *grin*

It has been 49 hours since my last Tram-pooh, day 2 is well on its way. I woke up with more anxiety than I did yesterday morning. I couldn't get out of bed when the alarm went off. I had to sort of ease into waking up, so my hubby got the kids ready. I took an L-Theanine once my feet hit the floor and then another one shortly after that because one wasn't doing the job quite so good. That stuff really does help. BUT I am kinda "jittery". I dunno if its the nerves/anxiety or taking 2 L-Theanines so close together, oh plus combined with a 5-hour energy (that could be it too). Either way, its better than the intense anxiety (except for the jitter crack in my voice that happens). I am SO GLAD its FRIDAY! And I can spend the next 2 days in BED if I need to.

Some physical symptoms have presented themselves, but randomly. The headache (I got yesterday stayed with me and went away during the night while I was sleeping). It was unlike any other headache I have ever had. It was like the left half of my brain was being "burned" by a chemical, hot poker into temple, but not so bad I couldn't function, because I had no other choice but to kinda function with housework, homework checking, dinner, etc etc. My hubby helped out though so I could do a little, go lay down for a few, and then get up again, repeat. My knees and random places started aching yesterday afternoon but it didn't last long. Skin is "sensitive", that doesn't describe it well, but that's the only word that comes to mind. Parts of me are coming back though, like last night, hubby said something goofy and I laughed, hard despite the headache (haven't done that in a while, like, I would laugh but it wasn't MY laugh, until last night).. it felt good. My stomach is messed up this morning, as in I'm about to make my 3rd trip and I've been up 2.5 hours.

Well, yes that 3rd trip must come now.

I am thinking of you all and sending positive energies :)

~Noodle

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by noodlegrl, Mar 27, 2009
I suppose it all depends on the person, but for me, I think the taper was definitely better than CT. I had a taste of CT when I missed that one dose that spiraled me into oblivion. Even once I resumed my dose it took a week to get back to where I was. I am too much of a mental mess for CT.

Something else thats going on with me that I keep forgetting to mention is... short term memory FUBARED right now. Actually I may have mentioned it.... I dunno.... but I feel like I am losing it... seriously... like hmm.. example - Hubby says "Can you get me the big cookie sheet?" I say "Sure" walk to refrigerator, open door, ummm "What was I looking for?" Hubby says "Um - COOKIE sheet?" Me - "Oh yea" ..... stuff like that.. some worse, some better... but memory? Whats that? I had to tell hubby last night about it. Plain and simple - I am slowly going crazy, 1,2,3,4,5,6 Switch! Crazy going slowly am I, 6,5,4,3,2,1 Switch! But yes, it will get better soon. I have faith. If Emily says its so, its so!

Work /le sigh

~Noodle

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by yellowlabmom, Mar 27, 2009
Hi,

I just stumbled across this site when researching the effects of sudden discontinuation of Ultram.  I have been taking one to three 50mg Ultram per day for going on 3 months for a ruptured disc.  I had my discectomy last week.  I had a follow-up appointment yesterday, and since I am feeling ready to drive again, I decided to discontinue the pain meds in order to get cleared by the doc for driving.  Last night I began to experience cold sweats, headache and diarrhea, and all but the diarrhea persists.  My last dose of Ultram was about 36 hours ago.  

Post-op, I took Vicodin at night for 5 days or so, and then quit that and resumed the Ultram the following day.  Therefore, Ultram had been out of my system for almost a week before taking my usual dose again.  I then took two 50 mg doses for just two days and nothing since.  

My incision looks good.  There is some swelling, but the doctor thinks it is normal and not related to infection.  I do not have a fever, just persistent cold sweating and headaches.  It seems more like physical withdrawal than a surgery complication, but it seems almost ludicrous to be going through withdrawal after taking the medication at an even lower than prescribed dose for a relatively short period of time.  YET... logically, this does seem like withdrawal.

Is there anyone here who can relate to my experience?  I'd like some idea of when I will feel better again.  Should I taper?  Any other suggestions?  It's difficult to bear the thought of dealing with withdrawal symptoms in addition to surgery recovery and lingering nerve pain from the disc rupture.  I'm supposed to be resting!!    

Thanks in advance for any help...

yellowlabmom

  
    

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by noodlegrl, Mar 27, 2009
Yellow - I think it would be better for me to leave this one up to someone more knowledgeable. Welcome to our little slice of the interwebs.

Well, I made it to 11:15 and bam. ANXIETY HELL. I just about had a break-down. If a customer had not come in I would not have been able to ground myself. When they left I had to run to the bathroom to calm down. Had to take a xan. It is starting to work now. The L-Theanine does not last very long. Yesterday I only made it about 1.5 hours longer than today. Time is going so very very slow. Can't wait to be home in comfort. This is like a roller coaster when you have motion sickness (which I do, very easily, no planes, no backseat car rides, etc without Dramamine).

The wacky thoughts that everybody says they have... I am having those too now. And usually I'd be able to refrain from saying something about it to my husband. But I have not.. sometimes stuff just comes out of my mouth like my filter is broken. I dunno.. not feeling so hot anymore...

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by EmilyPost, Mar 27, 2009
Yellow it sure sounds like Ultram withdrawal to me. You were taking a medium dose, for a short time so I am hoping it will be short lived. I am also thinking about the young man I was in withdrawal wth many moons back. He had a back problems, herniations, not ruptured discs. He was on a  small does for 6 weeks and had withdrawal. Hw was 19 and his father was an MD who told him there is no withdrawal from Ultram/Trammadol. It was unbelievable. Despite seeing his son on the floor of the bathroom, he had to side with the Tramadol/Ultram because his belief and denial are stronger than in his own son? Sad.

Sidetracked.

So yes, yellow, sounds like withdrawal to me. Tapering is a valuable option, so is ralling your Doc!

((((Noodle!)))) You are so near home! Breathe, long slow inward to the count of 5, longer slower outward count of 10. Take whatever you need to get thru, Do you have any honey? Or b-12 sublinguals? They realy helped me :D

You all are getting this done! So proud of everyone!

Em

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by yellowlabmom, Mar 27, 2009
My doctors don't know much about this med.  Thank you, Emily, for addressing my questions.  I spoke with my neurosurgeon's nurse and she gave me a recommendation for tapering.  She was actually surprised by what she read concerning sudden discontinuation of the med.  She said she had never heard of it, but read my symptoms right back to me from her prescription book and conceded that "everyone is different".

I'm so sorry to learn of the problems everyone here is experiencing.  Not sure I would have taken it if I had known.  However, when you are in excruciating pain and are prescribed something that you've never heard of, with a benign-sounding name in a quantity of 200 (wow!), you tend to believe your doc that they are safe.  Hopefully I've opened someone's eyes.    

I'm going to take 50 mg per day for a few days and then go from there.  Thanks again for confirming what I had suspected.



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by KC67, Mar 27, 2009
Welcome Aleisha and YellowLabMom!

Aleisha:  Sounds like you have a good taper plan.  Keep us all up to date as to how you are feeling.  I thing the most asked question on this forum is:  "When will I feel NORMAL again?"    The only answer I have is "Time...it takes time for our bodies to heal and restore and re-wire our brains."  When you get time, read Emily's entire journal and you will get all different kinds of timeframes for WHEN people felt normal again.  The only predictable thing about Tramadol is its randomness.

YellowLabMom:  From everything I have read on this journal, you CAN get dependent/addicted to Tramadol during a short period of time (there was one fella who got dependent from only taking it for 2 weeks!!!).  Advice on C/T vs. tapering...I think it is a personal decision.  For me, I am very impatient and I was experiencing withdrawals while reducing my dose - so I just jumped off and decided if I was going to experience the withdrawals anyway, I might as well go 100%.  However, there are others who have had a very positive experience with tapering.  Do what is best for YOU.  

ScottR:  GO SCOTT!  Day 9!  Wow!  You are probably beginning to see a light at the end of this Tram. tunnel by now.  Keep going!  You can do it!

Shade:  Good to see you post.  Hope you are feeling ok and that your taper is progressing.  

Noodle:  You are doing great!  Day 2!  Be strong and keep fighting.  This is WAR and you WILL be victorious.  Anxiety (esp. in the A.M.), aches & pains, intestinal discomfort, and memory loss, are all VERY typical.  It DOES get better though - promise!!!

Kev:  Keep hanging around.  You made it to Day 60+ and that makes you a Trama-vet - full of valuable wisdom (and humor too, I might add).   Glad you are stickin' around!

To all:  It is Friday and I hope that we all experience good sleep, rest, and relief from our withdrawal symptoms - whether it be Tramadol, benzo withdrawal, or any other substance that controls us - I hope that we all experience "windows" of peace and sanity this weekend.

Sincerely with hope and love,
KC

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by luckytobehere431, Mar 27, 2009
Hi All,
I don't know how to maneuver my way around computer stuff when I'm NOT in a tram w/d daze, so this should be really interesting!!  I hope all can see my comments, or are they just going directly to KC67?  (i think i could use some guidance here!)
Today's day 8 w/out tram after waking up in the ER following an o/d seizure.  i actually got a decent night's sleep last nt.!  My husband's been counting seconds betw. my leg movements and said i got all the way up to 1 min. 40 sec. at one pøint last nt.  To me, this is a tremendous victory!  (i'll take them wherever i can get them.) i want back to the dr. yesterday for help sleeping and she presc. seroquel, 25 mg. ( i can take as many as three at bedtime) and tizanidine, 4 mg, (can take as many as one 3x per day) to help the muscle twitching. i also took one trazodone 50 mg. at bedtime to help sleep also.  after taking 3 1/2 hrs. to fall to sleep the last 4 nts., i think i was out in less than a minute.  PARADISE.  i also have hydroxyzine pamoate, 25 mg. on hand to help w/the anxiety (1 3x daily).  i couldn't have klonodine b/c i already have low blood pressure and that would have made it too low. i'm forcing myself to putz around the house (laundry, etc.) but am really nervous about returning to work mon. and how i'll handle the stress.  my loved ones have been wonderful. i feel the most fortunate there, b/c i know b/c of them (especially my son who had to witness the seizure) i will never put that poison in my bod again. i couldn't do it w/out seeing my son's face everytime and overhearing his words to his dad, "I wish i could burn that image of mom on the floor out of my mind forever." again, i hope for all the best for all of you. you deserve it! you are in charge! you are so worth it.
Luckytostillbehere431

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by KC67, Mar 27, 2009
Lucky,
No, your posts are going to everyone - not just to me.  But I have to tell you that Tram. withdrawal is horrible.  Especially the first 5-7 days.  I am so sorry you had to endure a seizure in front of your child - hugs (((((lucky)))))).  

This is incredibly difficult and I hope you can find the inner strength to FIGHT this drug.  

It is so much more than a part-time battle.  

It  takes ALL of everything you have to fight and to eventually win this battle....one day at a time.  

You can do this.  You are too valuable to let the Trams win and take over your life.

Stay strong and win this battle.

KC

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by kevzx81, Mar 27, 2009
Hi All, its hard to keep up again, people are coming here and getting weller, faster than I can count!!
This is one hot room right now,Tram is taking the kicking it truly deserves: WELL DONE ALL.
I think that like most damaging influnces, Tramadol sows the seeds of its own downfall. Yeah, go on,reduce us to a sweaty shaking heap of anxiety and drain our energy. Then we'll be reduced to quiet determination. Bad move Tramadol, take a look at the quiet determination in this room and crawl off terrified, back to the hellpit lab that spawned you.

Tramadol is a monkey for our backs. An unusual quote on the subject: "The way of the monkey is to play the fool, then bite you from behind. The key to defeating the monkey is to never turn your back." From the film ' The Silent Flute'.
Gotta love those cheesy old martial arts movies.........so much truth in 'fiction'....too much fiction in 'truth'.....
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Emily- Hope things are managable for you right now, preferably better. Could you tell me how long opiate receptors in the stomach stay sensitive for? I had a 36hr puking jag cos of bad late night eating the other day. Id usually be back to sleep in 10mins after something like that!
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Post Tramadol Pain Diary Part.....? (someone stole my beans and now I cant count!)

Ive been trying to be more comfortable with discomfort, having come across the concept via Emily some time ago.
I had to have a good think about this one...I dont want to abuse myself...but I dont think that was the idea....I had to find a way to present this idea to myself before trying it. At first it souded a bit like 'put up and shut up'...but I dont think thats an idea Emily would advocate on her site either. The best interpretation I can come up with is 'try to be ok with the fact that you are not ok'.

Emily-this spills into 'things that bring us into a closer relationship to our higher power'. So add one to the list!

None of this decreases pain much of course but it does change suffering. Suffering is 'discomfort that is impossible to accept'.If I can better accept even a little of my pain, I will 'suffer' a little less. Room for some progress there....

I dont expect big improvements from this strategy or any other. Im trying to 'chip away' at the problem with several strategies simultaneously; Appropriate exercise, better food, being kinder to myself, being firmer with myself, visualization ,self-talk......you name it....I'll try whatever could work. I'll search for answers in a witch-doctors jockstrap before trusting meds again.

To be honest none of my strategies has as much effect as damp weather can, or freezing winds where my pain is concerned. But one thing is changing,slowly...Im managing my pain more than being managed by it.
That said, my actual physical activity is comfortably increased by about 50% as compared to when I was on Tramadol.
Too early to really measure my progress but the pointers are good,especially mentally. No sign of Tram. Guard still up.

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Keep it coming all!!!



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by Caliope2009, Mar 28, 2009
Hello all.  I sat down nearly 5 hours ago to start what I thought would be a 10-minute internet search on the topic of Tramadol withdrawal. I never imagined I would stumble upon such a wealth of information and experience!  I've been taking Tramadol for about a year and a half (300-400 mg per day). About three weeks ago, I started tapering myself off and today I decided I was done. I took 25 mg this morning and another 25 mg around lunch time and haven't had anything since. I'm already experiencing some pretty intense symptoms of withdrawal. I'll be honest; the thought of not taking a Tramadol when I wake up tomorrow morning terrifies me. But I simply can't continue with the way things have been. It's time to close this chapter in my life.

With that, I'll close by saying thank you. Somehow the difficult journey ahead looks a little less scary knowing that so many have successfully travelled it before. Wish me luck!

Calli  

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by savingmylife, Mar 28, 2009
Hi Everyone

I just wanted to say I know what you're all going through, or have been through coz I was there myself not too long ago.  I was a tramadol addict for about 4 years, I was taking for most of that time about 4-6 of the 200mg slow release tablets a day.  Initially I was prescribed them for migraines but I kinda got hooked badly & loved what they did to me.  On them, I all of a sudden lost all the weight I'd carried since I was a teenager & within about 6 months went from 80kg to 57kg & I was looking incredible.  I loved my life & I felt more confident, but it was all false.  But then as time went on, getting hold of them was getting more difficult & inconvenient seeing as I was using a box every 3-4 days & I hated having to Dr shop to get scripts.  So I started stealing prescription pads to printing my own scripts, that's how bad my addiction to them got.  I tried to get off them so hard, but the withrdrawals were so bad (shakes, sweating & shocking body twitching, I just couldn't stand it) so every time I just went back on.  But it didn't stop there............. the tramal were no longer enough, so I moved to morphine where for 5 months (Sept 08 - Jan 09)  I started writing scripts for that.  By the end I was injecting a box of morphine at a time, that's 150-240mg a day, usually in one dose.  Or Id get Ordine, liquid morphine & drink 100mL of the 10mg/mL bottle.  I even got caught by a Chemist in Nov 08, then was arrested & interviewed by the Police (where I lied & said it was a one off) but couldn't stop til I ran outta the stolen prescription pads, so I kept on going & risking getting caught again.  It was when I ran outta scripts & couldn't get any more that things unravelled.  Although I replaced the tramal addiction for morphine, when I ran outta morphine the tramal was all I had to go back to which I did briefly before finally coming clean with my husband and a couple of close friends.  My husband forced me to the local Dr & finally I got help.  It was a week before I could see the Drug Addiction specialist Dr & so my GP prescribed another box of tramal to get me through the week, along with diazepam.  I'm now on Suboxone, which can be used for opiate withrdawals, including tramal, & it's been a life saver.  I reached a top dose of 16mg per day & about a week ago I cut it back on my own accord to 14mg.  I've been on it 2 months now & my Dr is letting me do double doses & I get 2 take away doses each week, so I only have to go the chemist twice every 6 days, doesn't quite work out to be twice a week, yet. She's wonderful & supportive & letting me have the take home doses so early coz I'm not linked to the illegal drug trade (to be honest, I wouldn't have a clue how to get illegal drugs even if I wanted to - I don't know anyone else addicted to drugs).  I don't get the highs I did with the tramal or morphine, or the lows of withdrawal & I am living for each day - yet in the knowledge that I have to get 'clean'.  I just couldn't do the cold turkey so I really admire those of you who are doing that & have the strength to go through with it - bravo!  Now my mind is clearer I deeply regret everything & would hate to see anyone spiral as outta control like I did.  I still have to face the Police who I'm awaiting contact from to face all the charges I'm up for, including stealing the scripts, & fraud.  I don't know if I'll go to jail or not but I do know that even if I do my life is back on track.  Hopefully for the sake of my 2 yo son I will get off with a suspended sentence or better still community service & a fine.  At least I can show I've made a huge effort & have not taken any form of opiate other than the suboxone since seeing the addition med Dr 2 months ago.  

If it wasn't for tramal I wouldn't be in the position I am in today.  Here in Australia tramal is now a schedule 6 drug I believe. It's not that easy to get - thus me illegally writing my own scripts.  Nevertheless it's pretty easy to go round Dr's & tell them some story about pain & get it prescribed.  Of the 40-50 Dr's I went to only 2-3 wouldn't give me the strongest 200mg tablets. It is a real problem that needs to be addressed.  Although at first when i realised I was addicted, I thought it was just me.  But the addiction is just so strong & most people don't realise this - I even took them all throughout my pregnancy although they're not recommend - I took a huge risk & thankfully my son had no ill effects although people were wondering why for about a week after birth he was continually shaking - I'm thinking it was withdrawal - like they say can happen with morphine/heroin addicted babies.  I feel so guilty for this.  

Good luck to everyone.  And seriously, if you are struggling I really do recommend seeking out professional help from a Dr or drug help centre & finding out what your options are.  Like me, you might find that something like Suboxone helps - not just the physical withdrawals but the mental ones, as they are the hardest to get over & well Suboxone or methadone if you choose is legal & the length of time you take to taper it back is up to you largely.  I've found that being able to move at my own pace has led me to be able to clear my mind a bit better & I've slowly been able to get used to the idea that never again in my life can I have an opiate.  

I've also been recommended to place a card in my wallet & says "no opiates" thus if I'm in an accident or something the Dr's/ paramedics know that I cannot have it them - apparently if there's wallet around they always check it if possible before starting treatment incase of allergies & well additions etc.  I've been told that once I'm clean if I get even a taste of it (morphine or tramal or even another opiate I've never had), I'll be back to where I started & I think this is something many people don't realise.  You cannot have tramal again even for pain, you'll have to use another pain reliever such as panadol, paracetamol, neurofen etc. & if you're in pain - too bad - it's better than having to battle through addiction again. So many times I've seen people ask the question on sites like this "what do I do if I'm in pain again & have to take whatever drug it is they've been addicted to again for that"....... the answer is simply... tough, you don't take it, you replace it for something else or go without & endure the pain.  

Again a huge good luck & if I can assist anyone with anything then please feel free to ask.  

Cheers guys,

Alexis, 26f, Melbourne, Aus

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by priceiswright, Mar 28, 2009
welcome everyone. we are are all hear to listen. i am 31 days tram free. best thing i ever did for myself. its called saving your life and the war is all worth it! lots of hot baths with epsom salts for those in days 1 -5. i LIVED in the bathtub!

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by EmilyPost, Mar 28, 2009
Kev asks, "Emily- Hope things are manageable for you right now, preferably better. Could you tell me how long opiate receptors in the stomach stay sensitive for? I had a 36 hr puking jag cos of bad late night eating the other day. Id usually be back to sleep in 10ish after something like that!"


The opiate receptors in the gut are probably hypersensitive for at least 6 months post Tramadol, as they try to recover from the insanity. When I google that I get  studies on Guinea Pigs and Rats and information about the 1.5 million opiate receptors in the gut. However, the fact that ya spewed, means that it only got as far as the stomach and then came back to haunt you. 36 hours may mean a virus though. I do know that my system is now more immune compromised. Protein rebuilds the immune system, specifically the T-Helper cells which are kinda ummm ... the Marines of the Immune System?

A little protein does help! The short explanation is that Opiate receptors are physically located in the Circular cells and not the Longitudinal aspects of our intestines. See;

http://www.biomedexperts.com/Abstract.bme/2864624/
Selective_presence_of_opiate_receptors_on_intestinal_circular_muscle_cells

(Need some sleep? Try and read that article!)

And yes, Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable is so not "S-U-C-K it up Buddy!" I'm absolutely not a "Come on, move on ... invalidate ... invalidate" kinda person. Not at all. I actually think that the "Tough Love" concept that most people seem to embrace leaves out that LOVE portion. Telling someone to "get over it," is classic invalidation.

The whole concept of being uncomfortable and becoming OK with that feeling or emotion is 100% Validation. You aren't going to be comfortable during withdrawal from any drug. You are going to be forced into discomfort and held there for what seems like ages and ages. It really is not forever. But it feels like forever. ESP with Tramadol

But the thing that trips up most people is that they have an idea that Healing is a straight line. It isn't, It's three steps forward, two steps back, one step forward, one step back, four steps forward and then five steps back. You go back to Ground Zero. You do. And most of us will freak out when we have a relapse or backwards motion. Because we have an idea that we're supposed to always be comfortable.

It's just a way of thinking that is not useful or validating when you are in withdrawal. It's perfect ok to be afraid, freaked out, uncomfortable, angry, irritated and not in control of your thoughts. All of that is the Process of Withdrawal.

Many sites go into an area of Invalidation. Like, "See your Symptoms As Healing Symptoms." Ok well, I'll be needing a new brain to do that because that's asking me to deny reality and invalidate my experience and I'm not able to do that.

Some of my most uncomfortable times in life have been when I am in a Yoga class. Bikrams is yoga done in a super heated room. It's 105 F in there. You are having to work between strength, balance and flexibility. You ask your body to do things that absolutely seem both impossible and Uncomfortable. When you get into the Uncomfortable Position you willingly hold the position for as long as you can. While your mind is yelling"I am uncomfortable." And the response has to be .. "Yeah, I know you are Uncomfortable. Because Progress is Uncomfortable."

People have this idea about their bodies, that "healing" will be nice and comfortable. Or that gaining strength will be painless. Most of us have gone to the gym and know that there's actually pain, legitimate non imaginary pain involved with gaining strength. I mean, you're really talking about muscles being challenged and injured, and then being rebuilt.

I think that the same concept applies to our minds. I don't really believe in anything but the Validation of Emotions. Emotions are tricky, slippery little things. They respond very very well to 100% Validation. As in, "Yes, I know Honey. Of course you feel sad, or angry or lonely. That's so valid."

Resistance, and pain is created for you and everyone around you when you try and make yourself or others feel XYZ when they said ABC. You make yourself or others feel alt worse if you say, "Yes, I know you are angry, but you SHOULD NOT BE."

Invalidation. The world's fastest way to go mad!

OK so that's a long rant! And basically yes, Kev, you are right about the way I see thing in Recovery. 100% Validation because this is hard enough. No one needs me to tell them how to feel.

Hi Alexis, that's a terrible story. I sure hope you will be ok. Let us know how you are. Tramadol is evil stuff. I'm not amazed that it lead you into Criminality. I hope you will be ok. I'm amazed and impressed that Tramadol is so tightly and rightfully controlled in Australia. (((Alexis)))

The guy I told you about awhile back, the one who was taking Tramadol "In a small dose" who basically vanished is three weeks into his withdrawal. Because of the attitude that "Tramadol is no big deal" he's absolutely unable to hear me when I tell him that his sleeplessness and other symptoms are being caused by Tramadol withdrawal. He's now onto more pills. This time an antidepressant. That of course, he has from a "friend." Lord save us all from such friends. Outta the Frying Pan into the Fire. He seemed a little better and then he couldn't stand the discomfort, and has made the executive decision to go on more pills.

You really need to be ok being uncomfortable if you want off the merry go round.

For me, and many other successful people, that really does mean an Attitude of War. You can't afford certain attitudes. It's Your Life, ya know? You risk your Life!

Hi Calli ... actually this is probably one of the only "live" communities that exists online about Tramadol withdrawal. Thank goodness you found us. I think your taper is really fast. It sounds like cold turkey Hon. You are going from 6 to 8 pills to one pill in three weeks ... that's ok that is what I did. I went really fast. I just HAD TO NOT TAKE THEM. And the only danger is if you have tapered thus, and then take your "normal" dose ... that would be a disaster! And a Seizure risk. The spiking of various doses or high doses seems to put people at risk. (((Calli))))

(((Luckytobehere)))) We can all see you! Yay! Thank goodness! You are lucky to be here. One word. Be careful with the seroquel. It's an a/d and I'm not happy with what I have been seeing on it. Just maybe plan on not getting hooked on that for sleep? I am so glad in a way that .. you had to stop. I am so sorry your son saw you on gthe floor. That is SO SCARY!!!

YellowLabMom ... yeah, except ... everyone here has had severe withdrawal that is physical from Tramadol. Everyone is different won't cover the massive Lawsuit that will eventually be filed against Tramadol.  am glad that they gave you a taper.

(((noodles))) (((KC))) (((Shadetree))))

Ok

((((Everyone))))

as to the Klonopin Benzo withdrawal. Yesterday was quite easily the worst day EVER for this "Long slow taper." 100% Disability. As in even getting up to go to the bathroom was bad. I'll have to go to the store today to stock up on water and supplies. I will have to make a list. It sounds ridiculous because all of that should be EASY? But I have a broken brain. So ... I'm looking at my messages written recently and kinda laughing because the word recognition is SO OFF! Ahhhhhhh .. man. Drugs are BAD!

Today I am functioning and at work. I have one or two more cuts to make. Each has to be held for a bare minimum of 7 days. It's very apparent to me now that ... one reason people go back on Benzos is the EXTREME MEMORY LOSS you experience during withdrawal. I remember yesterday ONLY a little. I remember two massive meltdowns in one day. This junk makes you feel 100% Insane as it leaves.

People keep asking me if "it's worse than Tramadol."

Tramadol has the unique characteristic of "SEEMINGLY HARMLESS" and the medical establishment denies it causes more pain. They deny that it even has withdrawal. You could find plenty of Doctors who may do the same with Benzos. But the Benzo support and information is much more vast and easy to find.

They are simply different drugs.

Big Love Chica-booms!
Em




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by Dylan465, Mar 28, 2009
I have been tapering this month and it's been going well, thank God. I was wondering, if there was a place to post a poll. I am very curious about this. I have heard more than once that ttrams will make your body actually hurt more. I would love to know how many people have experienced less pain being off of the pill. I am not off yet, but soon and I could swear I feel less pain.
If someone reads this let me know personally if they have less pain and if anyone knows where or of I can make a poll.
Bless you all. Have a great day.

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by Hope91171, Mar 28, 2009
Day 11 annoying weird sensations in my legs...crying off and on...still no appetite force myself to eat..concentration off. Hope everyone is doing better.

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by Caliope2009, Mar 28, 2009
Thanks, Emily, for the note and warning against jumping back to my "usual" dose. The idea of having a seizure terrifies me.  Definitely won't take any unnecessary risks.

I've passed the 24-hour mark and am feeling pretty yucky.  It's empowering to read through all the past entries and hear how so many people have tackled this thing and won.  It's terrifying to me, though, to hear that people are still having significant withdrawal symptoms at day 11 and beyond.  I psyched myself up for the 1-2 days of hell I was anticipating, but I really can't imagine feeling this way for weeks.  I came close to "changing my mind" this morning - not about wanting to quit, but about my decision to do it right this second.  I had originally set out to taper over a period of 6 weeks.  But yesterday (at the 3-week mark) I had this overwhelming feeling that I didn't want to take these damn pills any more.  And I wondered if perhaps I was just drawing out the withdrawal process by tapering.  I mean, which is worse?  Feeling really crappy for a short period of time?  Or feeling kinda crappy for a much longer period of time?  In what I hope was a moment of clarity yesterday afternoon, I decided it would be better to feel really crappy for a shorter period of time.  And so I am here.

I thank you all once again for the information and for providing this community of support.  This addiction is something that I truly thought I would never, ever admit to another living soul.  I suspect that such a secret could only make things worse, so I thank you for lifting that burden from me.

Calli

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by Hope91171, Mar 28, 2009
Calli hope I wasn't to doom and gloom...just being honest. Everyone has different symptoms. I should be happy considering I took the shyt for about 10yrs, daily for the past 6 or 5 can't really remember- but I know it was 10 yrs to long!!! In addition to going cold I have had some major projects to complete (major deadlines) which doesn't help with the anxiety and stress level. Well I should be a little more relaxed in the days to come..projects just about done. best wishes to all!

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by travelingmom, Mar 28, 2009
Wow!  I just happened across this website when my dad warned me about becoming dependent on tramadol. Googled it ad found you. I have fibromylagia and the doctor gave me tons of it.  I never really took much until I got shingles six weeks ago.  Now I need 50 mg twice a day and after reading this, I'm realizing I might not really "need" it but want it.  The shingle pain is gone but every six hours I get this weird discomfort that tramadol takes away.  Is this addiction?  What should I expect from withdrawing?  I cannot afford to be down and out for days as I cut it out. Will I hurt all over? I handle achy pain becuase of the fibro but is it worse?  Interesting that both my rheumalogist and pain doctor DID NOT like tramadol and warned me to not use it.  So, there are some doctors out their that know the risks.  I had no idea.
Any withdrawal symptoms and tips would be greatly appreciated.  

traveling mom

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by bjb97, Mar 28, 2009
Hi everyone.  This is my first post to this site although I've been reading since Monday.  I cannot tell you how the cliche "Misery Loves Company" hits home with me and this site has been so therapeutic.  Just knowing that I am not alone trying to wage war against this debiliating drug, gives me temporary peace.

I started Tramadol two years ago for neck pain.  I suffered a neck injury 25 years ago and finally had two surgeries on it and have been on Tramadol, Vicodin and Percocet on and off for the past two years.  The Vicodin and Percocet were very sporadic but the Tramadol has been my consistent friend now for two years.  

I am a 12 year recovering alcoholic and my doctor knew that when prescribing the non-addicting, non-narcotic Tramadol to me.  I started off probably like most of you with 1 a day, then 2, then 4, then 6 and for about thepast 6 months eight every day.  The only thing that stopped me from taking more than eight was my fear of seizures.  Thank GOD for that.  I have a petite frame and only weigh 98 lbs so I was very fearful of exceeding the limit.

I went to see my doctor 9 days ago and he prescribed 20 tabs of Vicodin for me so I thought I would just take that and not the Tramadol -- all the while being totally ignorant to the hold that horrible drug had on me.  Saturday I started to experience mild flu like symptoms, Sunday -- even more and felt very depressed and sad.  By Monday the tear duct dam broke and I cried almost all day.  

Still, I did not realize it was the tramadol -- thinking it was hormonal or menopausal.  Finally in the afternoon I goggled Tramadol, depression, crying and that is when I encountered your site and all of the horrible things happened to people who used this drug.

I went to see a doctor on Tuesday -- a doctor different from the one who had prescribed the Tramadol and he assured me that I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  I said I had read if you quit cold turkey that you could have seizures and that scared me but he thought I was past that point.  I told him that most people tapered off the drug to avoid such severe symptoms but I did not want to go back and was afraid being a person who does nothing in moderation that I would have more difficulty psychologically with the tapering and just toughing it out.

It is now Saturday and most of the symptoms have subsided.  The huge problem for me has been insomnia and restless legs.  Monday night I slept 6 hours and ended up taking 1/2 Tram to get to sleep; Tuesday night -- 2 hours sleep/1/2 Tram; Wednesday 4 hours sleep, 1/2 tram; Thursday 1 1/2 hours sleep 1/3 Tram;  and last night 3.5 hours sleep NO Tramadol.  The restless legs don't seem to be as severe but I cannot believe I cannot just collaspe for 12 hours straight.  I'm getting so weak and vulnerable which prevents me from doing the things I need to get me through this difficult time.

I'm doing all of the right things -- forcing myself to exercise, sitting in the hot tub, sauna and steam room at the gym.  Taking my dogs on extra walks to get the good endorphins going, eating healthy and drinking protein shakes because not much food appeals to me right now.

Any other tips to win this battle?  All of your stories are so encouraging and I wish all of you well in conquering this demon drug.

The little red-headed warrior

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by FinallyFred, Mar 29, 2009
Dylan,  Don't know about how to set up a formal "poll" on MedHelp, but I'll give you my opinion.  I have WAY less pain since coming off trams than I ever did (1) before I began taking them or (2) while I was taking them.  I think that once you get off these, you will feel WAY less pain too.

I appreciate that there are conditions involving mechanical pain (pain from collapsed discs and vertebrae pressing on nerves, etc., etc.), But speaking only for myself, the "pain" that I originally had, THAT reason I was prescribed these devil damn pills, was for post surgical pain, which in all honestly, probably resolved close to the beginning of my six years on this drug.  Except how would I have know?   I was masking any pain that I thought I had with trams.

Tolerance, as I understand it,  is a term to describe the way our bodies "get used to" a particular dose of a drug, like tramadol, in affect, requiring a user to take more and more of a drug just to keep from experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  I don't believe that people who wind up taking 15-20 tramadol per day are stupid.  Rather, they are simply trying to take a sufficient enough dose to beat down the withdrawal symptoms, which DOSE increases with time on the drug.

I have come to believe that withdrawal symptoms are experienced at any time one takes less of tramadol than tramadaol tells us we need to feel LESS UNWELL.  This can happen while we are using this drug or as we are tapering.  The only cler way I know of to begin to feel better is to start putting time between yourself and the little white pill.  TIME + no tramadol = recovery.

The way I see it, people like me who were on this drug for a long time really only have three choices, (1) stay at the same daily dose and feel like hell (yes you can say that word here)  most all of the time, (2) increase your daily dose again and again to keep from being like you are in constant withdrawal, or (3) stop the madness and QUIT.

(1) Unless a person turns to multiple doctors or buying on line, you are pretty much limited to taking 8 pills/day.  The dose the good doctors feel is a "maximum safe" dose.  HA!  That 8 pills/day was me and I felt like I had most certainly developed fibromyalgia.  I ached in places of my body I didn't know could even hurt.  So did I take more than 8 pills/day at the beginning of each RX cycle?  Hell  yes.  That gave me a few days of comfort.  But I was back to "counting pills", looking under seat cushions, scrounging through my pill drug, for that "one that may have gotten away" tward the end of every RX cycle.    Show me a tramadol user who hasn't been on their hands and knees at their car door, looking for the "one that got away" under the seat".  I don't think such person exists!!!

(2) Increasing your dose beyond the "safe" maximum dose of 8 pills/day buys you relief as long as you keep increasing that dose to stay ahead of the tolerance that naturally builds up with time on the drug.  And then you wind up like one person I saw posting on another addiction site, who was going through 180-200 pills every three days.  Even such a person can recover, but I can't imagine it would be much of a picnic.  So clearly, this "option" of CONSTANTLY INCREASING YOUR DOSE isn't a good long term solution, even though I feel the pain of people who do these things.  I really can.

What most long time users will say is that the "PAIN" that we felt while on tramadol, was caused by the drug.  From not being able to constantly INCREASE our daily dose sufficiently to stay ahead of the pain.  

(3) Stop the madness.  I hear people occassionally report that they have heard a rumor that STOPPING TRAMADOL SUDDENLY CAN CUASE A SEIZURE.  BUT IHAVE NEVER SEEN A PERSON POSTING THAT THIS HAPPENED TO THEM.   What we DO hear frequently are people suffering seizures while on HIGH DOSES of this drug, or when they INCREASE their dose quickly, after stopping this drug.  Emily, Michelle, can you confirm this?

Dylan, this is a long convoluted way of saying I am certain that you will have less pain once you stop this drug.  In my case, I found that the original hip pain that caused my doctor to prescribe this drug in the first place had probably LONG since dissappeared.  I certainly didn't have it when I stopped taking the trams.  And that really aweful achy pain  - that we had most all of the time...it  dissappears too.  Thanjkfully, there is pain free life after tramadol.

Cali,  You said, " It's terrifying to me, though, to hear that people are still having significant withdrawal symptoms at day 11 and beyond.  I psyched myself up for the 1-2 days of hell I was anticipating, but I really can't imagine feeling this way for weeks.  I came close to "changing my mind" this morning - not about wanting to quit, but about my decision to do it right this second.  I had originally set out to taper over a period of 6 weeks.  But yesterday (at the 3-week mark) I had this overwhelming feeling that I didn't want to take these damn pills any more.  And I wondered if perhaps I was just drawing out the withdrawal process by tapering.  I mean, which is worse?  Feeling really crappy for a short period of time?  Or feeling kinda crappy for a much longer period of time?  In what I hope was a moment of clarity yesterday afternoon, I decided it would be better to feel really crappy for a shorter period of time."    

Cali, by the time you read this, you will be entering your 2nd day or so. Days 2-4 are tough, so hunker down and take this fight moment by But It is NOT realistic however, to think that you will be through the acute physical withdrawal in 1-2 days.  Complete recovery takes a lot longer than a week.  But the sort of withdrawal symptoms people experience/report at day 11, are far less disabling than the sort one feels in the acute stage of withdrawl in days 2-4.  Many do report sleeplessness, RLS, stabbing pains, anxiety, depression, and a lack of focus/concentration that takes "weeks and weeks" to full recover.   Keep posting Cali.  You can do this thing.  

bjb, welcome.  Iv'e been a friend of Bill W's. myself for eight years.  And like you, the same fellow who once told me that I needed to stop drinking, prescribed these pills.  Go figure.  I read the warnings, but discounted them I guess.  Tips?  I have tried Hylands Restful Legs for the RLS, but like emergee here used to say, you need to take a bunch of them.  Personally, I'd be talking to my doctor about the symptoms you are having and see if he/she could prescribe something for temporary relief. It sounds like you are in a good groove, albeit painful and crazy making with the sleep depervation thing.  

There IS life after tramadol.   That life begins in a quiet moment of clarity, when a little voice tells us that there just might be a way out of this thing.  HOPE that a higher power than ourselves can restore us to sanity.  For me, that higher power was the stories and people I found in this place.  Maybe later, I found that I also had another higher power, but at the start, it was this room.   I realized that if I would declare a personal WAR on this drug in my life, that tramadol might not continue to have it's way with me.  That I actually may not DIE addicted to this drug one day.  Some times people's lives  CAN have happy endings.  

I have told the story before of the boy who got into the cage with the gorilla. IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH TRAMS THAT IT BEARS REPEATING.  Boy disregards the signs and climbs into the cage with the "pet" gorilla.  Boy approaches gorilla.  This isn't SO bad, the boy thought.  Gorilla appears quite pleasant, friendly and playful.  They toss a ball to each other.  It felt so right.  Gorilla approaches boy and teh boy blows him sweet kisses. Gorilla blows kisses back at boy.  The warnings given to the boy seemed so absurd.

Then suddenly, the gorilla turns on the boy. Boy is locked in the cage and cannot excape.  Gorilla begins tossing tires at the boy.  Ouch, it hurts.  Gorilla climbs on the boy and has his way with the boy. (there is a more descriptive illustration of the story I could offer at this point, but I will leave that to your imaginations)  Boy is in aweful pain, but he remains entirely at the mercy of the gorilla.  And the gorrila roars in his best English, "it ain't over until gorilla says it is over, boy."

Miraculously, the boy sees the door, regains hope, and escapes just as the gorilla picks up yet another tire to throw.

I came here tired of being tossed about by this terrible drug.  I found hope in this place.  I found that for me, sliding through that narrow doorway of the cage I was trapped in, just might be possible for this boy too.

I will sign off quoting something KC said here Friday,

"It  takes ALL of everything you have to fight and to eventually win this battle....one day at a time.  

You can do this.  You are too valuable to let the Trams win and take over your life.

Stay strong and win this battle."

Courage, Strength and love in this moment.  

Fred  


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by bjb97, Mar 29, 2009
Another night of sleeplessness but no one ever died from lack of sleep, right?  The restless legs and twitching have subsided a lot so at least when I'm awake at 3:30 a.m. I can read, knit, watch TV without going into full blown twitch mode or wandering the house aimlessly for hours at a time.

Fred -- Thanks so much for your stories, thoughts and wonderful words of wisdom, hope, strength and encouragement on this site.  Do you still attend AA meetings?  I haven't been a faithful member of meetings for a very long time -- many years.  I used to go to one meeting a year so I could get my chip but I didn't even do that last year.  I absolutely hate speaking at those meetings.  I'm fine talking to people before the meetings and after the meetings but to speak to all those people and then just have silence afterwards -- no respondes -- terrifies me.  I do have a strong support in my family and several friends who are Recovering alcoholics and speak openly and frequently about my disease.  I never forget who I am and where I've been.Congrats on 8 years of sobriety from alcohol.  And what a Winner you are, now adding Tramadol to the list of demons conquered.  

Sometimes I feel like I should be the poster child for Addiction.  Nicotine, Alcohol and on my way to being rid of Tramadol in my life.  I'm sure I could easily add many others to my list if I would let them into this severely abused body of mine.  I grew up in rural Iowa in the 70's so was not exposed to a lot of drugs.  What a blessing!

I've been taking valerium, melatonin, advil PM, nighttime cough syrup, herbal tea, and even prescribed Trazedone to help with the insomnia and nothing seems to help.  I agree with Fred that it will get better and I need to put space between me and the little while pill but patience is not one of my virtues, esp. when I've had a total of 16 hours sleep in the past 6 nights.  

But the good news is that I have only have injested 2 Tramadol since a week ago Friday and none at all since Thursday 2 a.m. so 48 hours completely Tram-free.

This is a wonderful site and place to vent and get suggestions and support.  Thanks so much to Emily for getting it started.  You have helped/saved so many and will continue to do so.  What a LEGACY for you!!

May you see a little more of that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel each day.

The little red-headed warrior.

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by Caliope2009, Mar 29, 2009
Good morning my new friends.  Well, one day down.  Last night was BAD.  I don't recall ever being as uncomfortable as I was last night.  I would have given just about anything to crawl out of my own skin.  And again, I struggled with whether I should maybe take just a little teeny weeny bit of Tramadol so that I could sleep.  But I didn't.  I figured that taking more Tramadol would limit my choices to two: 1) continue taking Tramadol for the rest of my life; or 2) have to go through another "day one" at some point in the future.  Even in my sleep-deprived stupor, I realized that neither of those options were acceptable to me. I do think I could have done a better job of tapering to begin with, but now that I have 40+ hours between me and my last pill, I can't imagine ever going back and having to endure that 40 hours again.  

Hope, you absolutely were not being too "doom and gloom."  I hadn't realized prior to finding this community that Tramadol withdrawal lasted more than a few days, but it is so helpful to have people ahead of me on this path who can tell me what's coming next.  If I hadn't found this site, I think there's a good chance I would have gone back to the Tramadol after day 4 or 5 because I would have thought that something was really wrong with me.  Thanks to you all, I now know that what I'm experiencing is "normal."  I have a much better idea of what to expect and I feel like that can only help.

Fred, thanks for your response and for your words of encouragement.  I want you to know how helpful I have found some of your earlier posts.  I spent nearly half a day reading through the posts on this site before deciding to actually post something myself.  You have a gift for the written word, my friend.  You and Emily both seem to have an uncanny ability to share your experiences and make people feel like they're right there with you.  In the the 6 hours I spent reading through everyone's thoughts and experiences, I began feeling less like a nervous individual walking tentatively into the great unknown, and more like one of an army of people marching into battle.  Needless to say, the latter feels much better.

bjb, I have great empathy for what you're experiencing right now.  Thanks for sharing everything that you're going through.  Please do share if you find anything that helps with your withdrawal symptoms!  I went to the store yesterday and bought a few of the things that others had recommended - a heating pad, B-12 sublingual tabs, Valerian root, etc.  If anyone has any other suggestions for this early phase of withdrawal, I would love to hear them!  I should have taken notes when I came across suggestions in earlier posts, but instead I relied on my "mental notes system," which at the moment isn't exactly functioning at maximum capacity.

Thanks again, folks, for being there.  Have a good day.

Calli



  


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by bjb97, Mar 29, 2009
Hello again everyone.  

Calli, your words sound like they are coming from my brain.  I had another Sleepless Night NOT in Seattle and thought, just for a second, about a teeny bit of Tramadol but talked myself out of it knowing that a teeny bit wouldn't do a thing and I would still be sleepless like I was on Monday-Wednesday nights when I took a teeny bit (1/2 tram).  So now I am 56 hours completely Tramadol free and that is enpowering.

We can win this battle and the good news is that we have each other -- no one is alone.



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by travelingmom, Mar 29, 2009
Okay,  I went cold turkey after my 5pm dose last night.  More than 24hrs since my last dose but less than that being tram free.  I now realize my bad case of the shingles didn't exist.  I had a mild case, took tramadol for the pain along with neurontin and every time I'd stop, I feel discomfort and burning.  I kept associating it with the shingles. (so I'd take more tramadol) Thank goodness my dad warned me and I found you guys.  Thank you for having this support group.  If my count is right, there are three of us presently going through this withdrawal and many more of you that are supporting us.  I feel horrible but just soaked in a detox bath of 2 cups of epsom salt, 1 cup of baking soda and 1/3 cup of hydrogen peroxide.  This formula is Dr. Jacob Teitlebaum's from the fibro and fatigue centers.  He says this combination pulls the toxins out of your system.  I've used it a lot when fibro pain flares.  This pain is much different-burning, fullness, soreness I can't articulate.  Figured I'd try it for it and it has relieved me for the moment.  I also am drinking lots of water and took a steam shower this a.m.  I am hoping to speed the detox.  Any other ideas?  
How long will I feel REALLY bad, then taper to a little better?  I have to travel Tuesday.  Am I crazy?  I feel that if I don't do this now, I'll just put off the inevitable.  Is it normal to feel almost breathless?
Any advice is appreciated.  
Traveling Mom

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by bjb97, Mar 29, 2009
Travelingmom -- I will try the detox bath remedy you mentioned.  I have been taking frequent baths with just epsom salts -- probably about 1/2 cup.  Do you have access to a sauna or steam room?  That really helps to clean you out faster.  You should begin to feel a lot better by Day 4.  

I have only taken two tramadol in the last week but I took 4 vicodin a day for 5 days during the days following stopping tramadol.   My problem after having not taken anything since 2 a.m. on Thursday is the sleeplessness and mild restless legs.  I am taking OTC sleep aids, drinking de-caffienated herbal tea and trying to refrain from as much sugar as possible. It is so frustrating to not just konk out.  I wish I could draw from the 10 hours/day sleep I got when I was taking the tramadol.   I am very much a sugar junkie so my body is detoxing from lack of sugar too, I'm sure.  Since I'm taking the sleep aids and not sleeping, I feel like I'm just running on empty, walking around the house like a zombie the past day because I'm so depleted.  

I still am trying to forge through with normal things.  It helps that I have two dogs because I am forced to get out and walk them.  That has really helped in the healing not to mention the fact that my pets are so therapeutic for me.

If I could even get 6 hours of sleep I think I would cry with elation.  Hang in there.  We can do this.

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by travelingmom, Mar 29, 2009
bjb97,
Okay, not doing this alone is so much better.  Let's agree to check back in until it's over!  The epsom salts needs to be increased for sure.  I swear by that formula.  You'll believe it too but you're supposed to drink a lot of water when you soak.  They say 20minutes but that's always too long.  I've been out of the tub 90 minutes and still feel "okay"  And yes, I have a steam shower, that's why it's easier for me to steam it out.  Have your tried benadryl at night?  That works sometimes.
This rain has caused me to stay indoors.  Lucky you having the dogs.  
Thanks for the support.

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by Organica, Mar 30, 2009
Hi all...
I have been meaning to drop by, but didn't want to be a downer.. however I think I should add this to the blend, just in case.  I have talked to Emily and Madtram about it already.
About 10 days ago I had a heart attack.  I have now had many tests, and it seems my heart is not in a good way.  Please know that there is absolutely no inference that this has anything to do with Tramadol.. I stopped completely just under 3 months ago.  M did mention to me that Tramadol has been used to treat heart conditions, so that is the only thing that may have some effect.  
I haven't had time to catch up on all your writings, but wish you all the best,
love and strength,
Sue

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by yellowlabmom, Mar 30, 2009
Travelingmom,

My experience seems similar to yours, as I've taken about the same amount of Tramadol per day for nearly 3 months... so not a huge dose and not a long duration.  I did not feel addicted, but discovered that physically I had absolutely become dependent on the drug.  The withdrawal symptoms started 24 hours after my last dose and are continuing, but I felt compelled to write here to let you know that it's already getting better.  Just hang in there.  Traveling Tuesday might be tough, but you might be surprised at what you can endure if you are distracted.  I forced myself to get out of the house yesterday and by evening I realized that I wasn't sweating.  I am sweating & have a headache right now, but am not nearly as uncomfortable as I have been.  My last 50mg dose of Tramadol was on Wednesday evening, so today will be day 5.  My worst days were day 2 and 3.  I think Aleve helps somewhat to take the edge off my genuine post-op back pain and withdrawal headache.  I'm drinking lots of water.  I'm still not sleeping well, but I'm not waking up soaking wet and freezing anymore.  I know that I can handle it if my current symptoms continue for days and days.  I have no desire to take a Tramadol to ease things.

Prayers to you and all for strength today.  Thank you for all of the huge hearts on this board who are over this hump but feel called to help others.  You deserve mountains of blessings!

Yellowlabmom  
  

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by bjb97, Mar 30, 2009
I am now on day 5 and Praise the LORD, I slept a total of 6.5 hours last night and 4 of it at one time.  That was HUGE after only sleeping a total of 16 hours together the previous 7 days.  I had only taken two Tramadol total during the previous week but had some vicodin in my system so last Thursday at 2 a.m. was when I took my last Tram.  When I woke after my 4 hour stint of sleep I felt like you do after you have had a high temp for several days and your fever finally breaks -- sweating all over.  I think the beast inside of me is finally dying and spitting out its last bits of poison.

Hang in there everyone.  I hope the thought of turning back and starting all over scares the **** out of everyone -- I know it does me.  I want the memories of these past few days to linger forever to remind what I never want to inject again -- TRAMADOL.

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by noodlegrl, Mar 30, 2009
Hello Everyone!

Hey new members! This place just keeps getting bigger and bigger! I love the feel of community. Having people to "lean" on and share with through this horrible detoxing experience was my beacon at the end of a very long tunnel out of Hades.

For all of you beginning the process, the best advice that I can give I believe is VITAMINS (I take 1 a day + Energy; B-12!!! - energy, focus, etc), HERBAL SUPPLEMENTS (Green Tea Extract Plus Hoodia, probably not the smartest for those already having trouble eating as its a appetite suppressor but Green Tea is also detoxing goodness, L-Theanine - my Godsend for short term use for Anxiety as it turns out, Niacin - detoxing, Fish Oil,  MINERALS - Magnesium - helps lots of stuff, AMINOS - Fish Oil, WATER - adding things like propel with has Vit C, B, and other stuff helps also if you don't like water like me :), DISTRACTIONS - READING, CLEANING HOUSE WHILE LISTENING TO MUSIC/SINGING!!! If I did not make myself GET OFF my ARSE (not the easiest thing to do but once I got up and moving I was ok) and do something then I felt miserable, stick a fork in me I'm done, jump off a bridge and die kind of miserable. I must say that these things helped ME, they may not help everyone, if you have health conditions check with your doctor before trying anything and research research research! Oh and for sleep, I didn't give myself a chance to get insomnia (apart from when I threw myself in withdrawals before I knew what the heck was going on, couldn't sleep for a few nights at that time but -> )...always had advil PM, Benadryl, melatonin, and xanax, have rotated (xanax only like 3 times) something different every night. Which I am about to stop doing and see what happens :)

Today is day 5 Tram-pooh free. I am FREE! I am OUT! I will never look at that **** again. EVER! There is NO going back! I would like to say that the worst has come and gone but.. if this is the case I feel really bad like my experience in itself could be invalidating for all of you really experiencing the really really bad withdrawals. I say this because never once in the last 4 days have I been in-functional. I was prepared to be, I warned my husband over and over, but it never actually happened.

Thursday was day 1 - anxiety, stomach issues, mild pains, no memory, etc. I functioned though, I worked all day. Took my vitamin cocktail and .5 xanax

Friday, Day 2 - anxiety worse than Thurs, and all of the same + anti-social. Still functioned and worked all day. Took vitamin cocktail and .5 xanax

Saturday, Day 3 - no energy till I forced myself to do something - Cleaned kitchen from top to bottom while jamming to the radio - took 2.5-3 hours, GRUMPY/IRRITABLE and just plain mad feeling was probably the worst of it. Took vitamin cocktail, long bath, no xanax :)

Sunday, Day 4 - Anxiety, lack of energy/motivation, grumpy/irritable still, but once again, had to get up and do something - lots of laundry, tried to hit a golf ball or 2 out in the yard, lol that was funny =P, and went to pick up some things from the store, no incidents of being afraid of the public =P oh and started the sneezing. Took vitamin cocktail, and worried about having to work (today) and therefore .5 xanax so hopefully wouldn't wake up a train wreck.

Which brings us to today -

Monday, Day 5 - mild anxiety upon waking - took L-Theanine - and now only I feel a little anxious, not anxiety which is GREAT!, and still sneezing. BUT today is the first day I have been able to EAT something before dinnertime in about a YEAR! I ACTUALLY ATE 3 BITES of a sausage egg and cheese biscuit my husband had (sorry hunny :) ) at about 9 am. This is a true astonishment to me. I went sooo long not hungry, sooo long not wanting to screw up my trambuzz, that I grew accustomed to NEVER eating unless someone was around who might think I was anorexic or something (yes, that word has been used on me several times in the last 6-8 months.)

Now, it is still early in the day, anything could RANDOMLY (as many of you know all too well) pop up on me. But its day 5, so... worst should be over yes? Whew, I hope so. I am so thankful I found this place and was able to prepare myself and be on guard to flip tram the finger. I am hoping that I am not the freak of nature I have often thought I was and all of a sudden day 7 all the symptoms are going to hit me like a mack truck. But thats probably still just a little of the tram trying to keep a hold of my brain so I won't stop thinking about it.

So all of you in this mess, YOU CAN DO IT!

(Disclaimer - I wrote all this in a hurry, if something doesn't make sense, ask & I will try to clarify, my brain function is still not all there but def getting better). In a little while I will try to address our new peeps directly as I am at work and now need to actually get some work done, haha.

Hi, My name is Noodle and I am 5 days Tram Free.



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by travelingmom, Mar 30, 2009
Thanks everyone.  It's day 2 for me and I'm feeling okay.  My sleep last night was horrible but I don't have too much discomfort this morning.  The appetite thing is starting to make sense.  Everyone asked why I had lost weight-didn't have an answer but after reading the notes above I think it all makes sense.  I haven't had a good appetite in several plus weeks.  I love to cook and eat and it hasn't been the same. Now I get it.
I was at my fibro and fatigue clinic today and they suggested the use of BURBUR drops.  It's a homeopathic drug that you put in water and drink to aid detoxing of all sorts of things.  8 drops in a glass of water every four hours.  It can be increased to every hour in acute case.  They said it should really help.  Probably available at health food stores.  
Thanks yelowlabmom in saying that it hasn't been too bad and traveling could be a distraction.  I have no choice.  Being busy can help, I guess.
All the support has been amazing.  bjb97, noodle, yellowlabmom, and emilypost to begin it all.  I am so glad this exists.  It makes a huge difference.  I ran in the house and had to check for more postings.  WE all need the support.  FYI-I told the clinic today what a horrible drug this is and how easily you become used to taking it-no side effects at forst etc etc.  They seemed genuinely interested and said they would discuss it as a team and rethink their instructions when giving to patients in pain.  

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by luckytobehere431, Mar 30, 2009
Good morning all you Champs over Tram!!!
There surely are a lot of strong people out there.  WOW!  Makes you wonder what ELSE you can accomplish, doesn't it?!  How cool.  Today's Day 11 for me cold turkey after having a seizure from too much Tram.  I started popping my dad's trams (he takes for arthritis) 4 yrs. ago when I was taking care of my mom over at their house who was dying of ovarian cancer.  He offered them to me for my constant headaches, and then I naturally started helping myself to them b/c I felt they gave me the energy I needed to be my mom's caregiver and, more importantly, they helped "numb" me mentally from what i was going through w/mom.  (We were very close.) That's where it started and $4,000/yr. later (courtesy of the internet pill store), in the ER is where it ended.  Thank God i wasn't behind the wheel of a car like you ShadeTree - you were so fortunate.  Do you feel, as i do, that "someone's" sent you a great big wake up call and being at all ambivalent about using that **** again is about as unthinkable as, oh i don't know,  AIG bonuses!!! GRRRRRR.  My seizure terrorized the people i love most in the world and i've had to miss over a week of work (going back 1/2 days tomorrow) and i will be SO far behind i worry about the stress piling on and how i'll handle it.  BUT one must look at the silver lining, right?  yesterday was the 4 yr. anniversary of mom's death and you know what?  i handled it.  in my non-numbed state i handled it just fine.  thank you all for your suggestions. i have been taking the L-theanine and B vits and fish oil.  thanks, emily, for the heads up on seroquel. you're right. although it's helped me to sleep, i don't want to replace addiction for addiction, so i'll move onto what others have suggested - Advil PM or Benadryl. another side effect - i have been eating way too much lately (especially sugar) and need to really cut that out - i read that's normal withdrawal. But at about 1/2 way through yesterday (day 10) i actually started to mentally feel "okay." the anxiety and anti-social feelings started to melt away as the day went on. i no longer feel like i have to escape my own skin. this has been so unbelievably hard. it's a very good thing you did, travelingmom, informing the people at your med clinic of tram's evils. spread the word, spread the word, spread the word. i plan on going for a walk/run today - looking for some natural endorphins to make me feel better. wish me luck as i wish you all the best as well. one week ago (day 4) i did not believe there was a light at the end of the tunnel. now i feel so hopeful and so grateful to have been given a second chance. if i can succeed going c/t after 4 years use of about 16-20 pills a day, i know all of you can! hang in there. this too shall pass. lots of hugs and thanks for taking the time to give all of us fellow warriors all your good advice. thanks, emily, for this awesome journal. wish we could all get together and celebrate our success! what a party that would be.
Luckytostillbehere431

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by 2Sue, Mar 30, 2009
Hi ive just found this site,and im emotional, that could be the withdrawals though,
my story, i was given tramadol post op six months ago, tried to stop it two months ago cause pain had settled a bit.Wow,would never c/t again. didnt know it was addictive or an antidepressant..I have been weanin down since january, very, very slowly.I was taking 200mg 4 hourly, didnt get symptoms til i went down from 100 to 50 mg 4 hourly.I then read to wean down in percentages, for example rather than going down 50% of dose go down 10 or 20 or 25%.This is working better,but you need soluble tabs to do it.  I went to 25mg three times per day on friday and i stopped them today completely. Should have weaned down more but sympoms were bad on low doses and i wont let them beat me.Im getting no support from g.p.or consultant even though ive told them how bad it is.
Im 41, a mother of three young ones and work part time. Im extremely tired, irritable and my op pain has increased, (its a chronic pain i have). How long will these sympoms last now ive stopped .I want my life back.
Good on you all for all this support

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by noodlegrl, Mar 30, 2009
Dylan - I said this about the roller coaster thing:

I said this on Friday, March 27th - "Well, I made it to 11:15 and bam. ANXIETY HELL. I just about had a break-down. If a customer had not come in I would not have been able to ground myself. When they left I had to run to the bathroom to calm down. Had to take a xan. It is starting to work now. The L-Theanine does not last very long. Yesterday I only made it about 1.5 hours longer than today. Time is going so very very slow. Can't wait to be home in comfort. This is like a roller coaster when you have motion sickness (which I do, very easily, no planes, no backseat car rides, etc without Dramamine)."

Yes.. I kinda meant an emotional roller coaster... 1 minute I am fine, the next I am not... L-Theanine helps keep it within "reasonable" limits.. not that any limits are truly reasonable but considering the circumstances.... I also have Rescue Remedy that I forgot to mention... it helps take the edge off the anxiety. You can get it at GNC and places like that. On their website it says put in your zip to find a location that sells it near you. IT IS WRONG. It told me I couldn't buy it around here, so I ordered it online, and then found it at GNC and a local health food store. So if you would like to try it I would check there first. I also bought sublingual B-12 during my lunch break... probably going to wait till tomorrow or Wednesday to try it - as I have one more 5-hour energy and I don't want TOO much B-12 in me... I have related that to some headaches (as in too much B-12).

I have also had my ups and downs today. Energetic one minute and not the next, anxious or anxiety one minute, and not the next. Its very exhausting. I really hoped and prayed I would not still be feeling this way. But only day 5 and many more to come. At this point, I hope its not just me. I can handle it when I am at home, but when I am here at work even though I have things to stay busy, I can't handle it so well. So once again, I can't wait to be at home in comfort.

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by bjb97, Mar 30, 2009
I agree with you totally noodle grl -- I'm on day five and one minute I feel almost back to normal and then five minutes later I'm walking around the house in a fog.  No wonder people think they are losing their minds.  Once I get a little more normal sleep pattern I think my body will mend much faster.

I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for this site.  This online community has helped me tremendously, not only with the "misery loves company" thing, but also with the help suggestions from people such as the detox bath recipe and the L-Trytophan (which I picked up today).  

The FDA really needs to read all of the posts on this site to know what kind of a horrible substance they are allowing to be legally placed in human bodies.

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by 2Sue, Mar 31, 2009
Hi I  got through my first night off tramadol last night, after being sleepy all day I start "coming round" at nine pm. I thought here goes.wide awake club.Went to bed at ten thirty with restless legs and lots of lavendar oil.My partner thought i had drunk it cause i coughed and he got a dose.said i stank. Well wotever it takes.tossed and turned but eventually fell asleep.
woke in pain and a feeling of how do i get through the day. my partner cant take day off so my mam is on her way to help with my little one. unfortunately cant get a doctors ap to get stronger painkillers for the pain i have (wont be asking for repeat tramadol).will try for this afternoon.
Im at work tomorrow and thinking hell.I have already had four months off since operation six months ago.my boss knows im weaning off tramadol and colleagues have been good.but worried about falling asleep at work.
I was laughing Fred (not funny i know) cause when i tried to c/t. in january, id come to end of my tablets and was determined not to get any more.well couple of hours later i was desparate and looking everywhere for that spare tramadol. I did find one.(theres always one hiding) and insisted to rec eptionist at g.p.s that i needed a prescription for my 2 o clock dose, oh how i insisted.lol.i was a women posesed.lol.  
Im so glad i found this site, knowing im not the only one on the edge.  

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by travelingmom, Mar 31, 2009
Here goes!  I'm getting on a plane on day 3.   Woke up after only one hr of sleep and felt like things were crawling in my skin.  At 12:15am I finally took a flexeril-10mgs and fell asleep until I was awakened to go to the airport.  We'll see how it is to travel like this!  Coffee is helping.

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by madtram, Mar 31, 2009
Just wanted to say how great you all are doing at battling through your work days at these early stages of withdrawal.  I was completely dysfunctional for the first week & couldn't make it to the letterbox, let alone to any place of major responsibility.  So Noodle, Sue, TravelingMom & BJB, here's to your strength.

Best wishes, M

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by bodegirl, Mar 31, 2009
Hey everyone,
Welcome to all the new comers-way to go on your early stages of detox!  It's the hardest thing I have ever done, but the most worthwhile battle I have ever been a part of too.

I havent posted in a while because I had some devastating news-I had a miscarriage.  I am beyond sad and have to go in today to have a D and C.  Everything is so raw and unfortunately my husband is questioning if I "took" something(ie; tram) to cause the miscarriage which is probablly the MOST PAINFUL part.  Being blamed for such a tragedy.  I quit the moment I found out I was pregnant so I dont think it's really my fault, but deep down, I wonder and I can't blame my husband for his susupicions and I feel terrible.  I just need support and a hug, ya know?  

I am also terrified that I will be given or offered pain killers after the procedure.  I read that it can be very painful and they give you something to "relax" you before the procedure and then give you something for after the procedure for pain.  I will have to decline, but what will I do to handle the pain?  I never thought about things like this...  I can not take the chance of taking any pain killers only 32 days Tram free.  

Oh, it is so hard to handle these painful emotions without numbing them away like I used to.  The good news is that I have made it 32 days without Tramadol and I will continue to stay clean no matter what, no matter how painful things are, it is worth it.

Hang in there everyone.  I'm thinking of you and am so impressed with how well you're all doing in the early stages of w/d.

bodegirl

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by Caliope2009, Mar 31, 2009
Bodegirl, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss and the emotional stress you're going through because of it.  I hope you'll be kind to yourself.  Like you said, you stopped the Tramadol the second you found out you were pregnant.  You didn't knowingly do anything to risk the pregnancy.  And chances are that that the Tramadol had nothing to do with it anyway.  Sot cut yourself a little slack, okay?  I'll be thinking of you and hoping that things go okay today.

Well, it's 5:30 in the morning and I'm trying to pull it together to face day 4.  Last night was significantly better than the first two nights. Still not a normal night's sleep by any means, but not nearly the level of discomfort I experienced the first two nights.  I think about Tramadol more in the morning than any other time of day.  I used to wake up 30 minutes earlier than I needed to just so I could take my morning dose of Tramadol and crawl back into bed until it took effect.  I couldn't even get out of bed before that (I kept the tramadol and a bottle of water on my night stand).  And to think that I believed for a long time that my addiction to Tramadol really wasn't that big of a deal.  It's amazing how this drug gets a hold of your brain.

Yesterday was my first day at work since starting the withdrawal process.  I didn't feel that I could risk using my work computer to post to this site, but I checked it several times throughout the day, looking for those critical words of support that I hoped would get me through the day.  Noodle, I was right there with you when you talked about just wanting to get back to the comfort of home.  I started counting down the minutes shortly after arriving at work yesterday morning.  But all things considered, I was actually relieved that things went as well as they did.  I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle being at work at all - that I would have a full-on panic attack or not be able to function at my job.  But it was okay.  I actually got a fair amount of work done yesterday.  Which isn't to say that I am looking forward to today, but it's just 9 hours, right?  I can do anything for 9 hours (I hope)!

Travelingmom, I wish you the best of luck with your travels.  I think I would find that very challenging at this point!  But it sounds like you must travel quite a bit?  With any luck, it'll be a nice distraction for you.

Oh, I keep wanting to ask - what exactly is up with the whole sneezing thing?  It seems like such a strange withdrawal symptom.  If I hadn't read all the posts on this site before starting this process, I would have thought that I had just coincidentally developed a nasty little head cold at the exact same time I decided to quit the trams.  The other symptoms I can somehow understand being related to the effects of Tramadol, but sneezing?  It just seems very strange.

Well, I'm off to walk the dogs and start the day.  Please keep posting everyone!  Your support and common experiences are really helping me get through this.  Many thanks!

Calli

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by noodlegrl, Mar 31, 2009
GRRR... had long post and accidentally closed window.. here goes.. shorter though...

Bodegirl - I am so sorry for your loss. That is never an easy thing to endure and plus having to go through what you have already been going through, can't imagine. I admire your strength.

Travelingmom - wow.. I couldn't even think of traveling right now unless I was going to end up on a beach somewhere with no one to bother me... for work... a no.. I admire your strength also.

Calli - sounds like we are in about the same spot.

Day 6

Woke up with panic. I can't stand it. All I wanna do is crawl up in the fetal position and sleeeeeeeeep for like 2 weeks (yea right). Last night was my first not so good nights sleep since I missed that dose a few weeks ago. But now to top it off having a couple issues at home. Not fun. Thats all I need is more stress piled on top of me. Anyhoosy.. at this second, I am ok. But in the next second, who the hell knows. I hope I return to semi-normal soon. Like, tomorrow would be great :) But at least by Sunday so I don't have to dread another work week.

Continued good luck to everyone. Hope everyone is doing well.

I'll check back in later.


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by noodlegrl, Mar 31, 2009
Something I meant to ask -

Today is day 6 no Tram - when should it be ok for me to try 5-HTP? Am I past the risk for serotonin syndrome?

Thank you in advance!

~Noodle

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by EmilyPost, Mar 31, 2009
(((Bodegirl)))))

:(
Huge Hugs ... lots of sympathy and love to you.

You all can do this. Stay the course!

((((Organica)))))


((((Everyone)))))

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by FinallyFred, Mar 31, 2009
All you tramadol warrioers:  You guys are doing SO well.  I tried posting a more substantial post last night but apparently the system was being "upgraded", so it was lost.  But you guys are amazing.

Bodegrl, I am so sorry for your loss.  Thinking back on my life can be full of regrets for my if I don't catch myself.  We all do the best we can until we know to do better and there aren't any points in regrets or blamming ourselves anyway.  No points in that.  Like someone else said here, it is unlikely that the trams had anything to do with your misscarriage anyway.  

ALL:  Yeppers, I can't believe some of you are working through your first week of withdrawal.  Impressive.

Organica, sorry to hear about your news.  Wishing you peace and health.

Gotta go to work.  

Fred

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by 2Sue, Mar 31, 2009
Hi its my second day off, feel better than i thought, mam came up to help me so i could rest but went for a walk with her instead, first time in months ive wanted to exert myself. Post off pain is extremely bad today, rang g.ps, they havnt rang me back and nurse attached toconsultant hasnt rang back either. Gp receptionist said so you have took urself off tramadol and want more painkillers.do you want more tramadol dah.-no i bloody dont, just some that arent causing me so much grief.well ive heard nothing.had to resort to a df118.
mentally i feel like a cloud has lifted..like ive slept for six months and just woke up.is this normal?.

Bodegirl,my heart goes out to you. my sister had a miscarriage at xmas and i had an ectopic long time ago now.It was just as bad watching a loved one suffering so much.The mental heartfelt pain  will feel worse than the physical pain. Please contact the miscarriage society for support, they are v good.
Take the painkiller. you are more aware of how ur body reacts now, not all painkillers are addictive and you dont want to suffer more than you have to.just be cautious.   Be kind to yourself and give you and your husband a cuddle and time to recover.

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by 2Sue, Mar 31, 2009
p.s. whats with coffee, I stopped drinking it for three years now im having three cups a day. (only ever had one cup a day.)

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by EmilyPost, Mar 31, 2009
2Sue, you're probably trying to get up some energy by drinking coffee. After Tramadol, the detox has this sort of exhaiustion effect.



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by noodlegrl, Mar 31, 2009
Something I meant to ask -

Today is day 6 no Tram - when should it be ok for me to try 5-HTP? Am I past the risk for serotonin syndrome?

Thank you in advance!

~Noodle

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by bjb97, Mar 31, 2009
Hello again everyone,

Day 6 for me also.   I hope some of the folks we haven't heard from in awhile are just celebrating life so much that they don't have time to post.  

Last night I got 8/12 hours of glorious sleep -- 6 of those hours being uninterruped.  It was indeed heavenly!  I have been fortunate that I have not had to work very much or very long and not a lot of responsibility.  I know a lot of you are not that lucky, i.e. 8 hr day of work, children to tend to, etc. so you have my sincere empathy and positive vibes to keep forging ahead.  Even though I'm on Day 6 Tram free, my system only had two Tramadol in it for the entire previous week so I'm probably a litter futher along in functionality (even though I had 20 vicodin during that week).

Bodegirl -- my warm thoughts and hugs go out to you.  I can only imagine your emotional and physical struggle.  Hang in there.  Your time will come.

Travelling Mom -- I hope by now you are on a plane resting and relaxing and are able to get a good nights rest at your journey's end.

As for the sneezing, that truly is a weird withdrawal symptom but then again, Tramadol seems to be a weird, not to mention, evil drug.  Did anyone have incredibly itchy inner ears while on Tramadol.  I thought it was from something else, like the ear plugs I wear at night to block out my husband's snoring.  However, since I quit Tram, my ears don't itch.  Very strange.

Take care all and be VERY good to your ravaged minds and bodies.

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by EmilyPost, Mar 31, 2009
Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Raaaooorrrr! BOO! This is not fun. The mornings coming off Klonopin are like a  living nightmare. Pain all over, in all my joints. My brain is literally ... kind of damaged. I'm hoping this is temporary. I know it is; but of course in the midst of it, one tends to freak out!

Which is why it is said that during withdrawal, you shouldn't make big decisions or life changes.

It's the Cerebellum, so strange sensations of  floating, dizziness, a feeling like I may just collapse because it's so tiring to hold up my body? I'm still tapering. I have one more cut, possibly two to make. I'll have to titrate the last dose, which is amazing because one would think it is such a small dose, that it really wouldn't matter right? But it does matter. The brain and GABA ...

I'm starving. It's like my body says, "Try to calm down by eating everything not nailed down?"

I'm also in a state of continuous panic ... about nothing!

There's pretty much nothing that makes everything better. It just suddenly lifts. It just vanishes and there's no trace of symptoms. I haven't had an entire good day, and I honestly wasn't expecting to. But man o man, this is marathon level muscle pain, headache, fog, anxiety and pain. Yeah. The pain man! BOO!

I'm on .125 which is a quarter of a .5 mg pill at night. I have a couple more days and I'll cut to .06(whatever number that is) So I am so close. The fear of course is that the symptoms won't vanish. I think that's the klonopin talking. It's also quite surreal to not be taking anything at all for back pain or anything else. That sensation of .. "Oh I am going to run out of pills in XYZ days ... " is gone. That's really nice.

I know that only TIME will take away these symptoms. That's the big icky fact of it all.

((((Hugs for all))))
Emily

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by luckytobehere431, Mar 31, 2009
Emily - so sorry that your pain is still so bad.  And tell me about eating!!! I feel like i've gained 10 lbs. in the past 12 days!  Especially sugar - can't get enough of it.
Bodegirl - i'm so sorry for your loss.  if what they say is true -- what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger, you should be wonderwoman by the time this is all over with, huh?
Noodlegrl - i'm sorry that you're going through so much stress as well. somedays you just can't buy a flipping break, can you?!
Caliope - i laughed out loud when i read about your morning "cocktail"!  for 4 years i've been doing the exact same thing - setting the alarm 1/2 hour before i need to get up to take my 3 trams and 2 excedrins!  my husband has been asking me for years WHY do i set the alarm so early?!  can't recall now what i told him, but it's nice to not have THAT argument anymore.
i went back to my teaching job today - big black eye from falling during seizure and all.  it was wonderful to be back. i handled the stress fine. i must confess that i still am tempted to order more online, as i receive email reorder reminders. i guess it's time to change my email address after all these years.  this is a battle that i absolutely have to win. difficult as it sometimes is. i'm terribly acky and take awhile to sleep, but the legs have stopped jumping and no longer feel anxious or depressed.
Hang in there all!
Luckytostillbehere431

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by EmilyPost, Mar 31, 2009
Noodle you should be ok to try the 5-HTP :D You're doing good Noodle! (((hugs))))

bjb97 Nice! You got some sleep! That's so nice!  Isn't it incredible that you can take Vicodin and be ok coming off it, but the Tramadol withdrawal is so wicked horrible? That always made me very angry at Doctors. They want to restrict the wrong pills in my opinion. Of course opiate withdrawal isn't pleasant. But it has never been as bad as the straight up Tramadol withdrawal!

Lucky to be here ... change your email now! That temptation to fall back into a Trama-Trap is too large!

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by travelingmom, Mar 31, 2009
I made it to my destination, took care of things and am still awake...sort of.  My skin tingles all over especially the palms of my hands-strange feeling.  Almost like my skin is crawling.  I'm hoping to get a better sleep and from reading other posts, night three should be better than one and two.  It's been a long day, so I'll wait for tomorrow to say more.

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by madtram, Apr 01, 2009
Dear Emily, still shining your beacon through your pain & benzo withdrawals.  It's certainly reminded me not to mess with GABA, it seems to be the most sensitive & unpredictable of the neurotransmitters, (after all it killed Heath Ledger after just one too many sleeping pills).

Noodle the half life of tram is 5-7 hours.  Just ignore the next few lines, if you already know how to calculate half-life.  The half-life is the time it takes tramadol to decay to half its original quantity.  Biological half rates are generally not exponential & are subject to individual metabolism.

However, if calculated exponentially, after 49 hours, tramadol would have broken down to roughly 0.8% of its original potency.  It's therefore highly likely that by day 6, 100% has been completely metabolised.

Serotonin syndrome is very real & should be taken seriously but its actually not that common, I have periodically taken 5htp at the same time as tramadol, (both in low doses) & have read reports of psychiatrists prescribing 5htp concomitantly with an SSRI, enabling a lower dose of the SSRI to be taken.  If you start at a low dose of 100mg per day, you should be fine.

Bode, I grieve for your loss.  I guess your husband is deriving some comfort from having something tangible to blame, however, as I'm sure you know, the reasons for miscarriage are many & varied & largely unknown.   Wishing you extra strength for this tough tough time.

Calli, I so remember not being able to rise from bed without my T, thankfully now it's just caffeine I need to get started.

Lucky, please don't go back, no good will come of it, we are all here because this drug totally sux.

Strength to all,

M





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by FinallyFred, Apr 01, 2009
It's time for my monthly rant to encourage newcomers here to start personal journaling.  Nobody seems to listen, but I'll keep pitching it anyway.  Has everyone clicked on Emily's ICON and scrolled down on the left of her profile page to read her early journaling?  She's probably too modest to say this, but her personal journals contain some really helpful streams of thought for people in early withdrawl.   I strongly encourage newcomers to begin their own personal journaling, either on their profile page or simply on paper some where.

Ever hear the expression, "you don't get a second chance to make a good first impression?"   Well, Fred's expression is this, "you don't get a second chance to record your streams of consciousness  as you go through acute withdrawal."

Why personal journaling?  (1) it records your own struggles with the T, as a reference point days down the road, when you think you are still are as bad as on day ___., (2) your journals may serve as a reference for others coming after you.  Because after all, there is so much common to us all.  

The struggles you now endure, will form a history for future tram-a-bots, who stumble on this site.  

I am reflecting on this place we call our tram-a-home.  I know that for newcomers today, getting to "here" involved a great deal of reading.  Usually our intial comments went something like, "I have just spent the past ______ hours reading everyone's story and I can't believe how many other people have the tram-a-problem."  

The sentimental fool that I am, I had to go back to Emily's early site where I first posted,  

"Emily,  This site just possibly could save my life.  I found it about a week ago, while surfing net the net to learn how difficult withdrawing from tramadol really would be.  At that time, i thought you all were liars, because I found it impoossible to believe that anyone could actually kick this ****. "    ( I left the typos - early writings are FULL of them.)  

I wouldn't trade the way the I feel now for my six years ON the trams or that first week coming off them - for anything.  Butit's helpful sometimes to look back, only if to show how far we have come.

Rome wasn't built in a day.  Withdrawal sometimes SEEMS to take forever.  Sleeplessness sux.  I am convinced that I wore out a perfectly good matress during that first week for me.  And I seem to recall that I took as many as 6-7 BATHS a night, because I was convinced that I could find the sleepy place.   But slowly things DO get better.  The secret for me was simply knowing that as bad as I might feel, I was drawing one tiny step closer to freedom with each passing moment.

And then one day it dawns on you that you ARE free.  Without looking ahead of backwards, one day your "two steps forward one step backward" will be a thing of the past.  You will wake up one day and realize that you attained the prize of tramadol freedom.  One day, after you stop looking for it, freedom with arrive for you, as it has for many others here.  

Ummm...not to rush anyone, but when that day arrives for you, it will be too late to recreate all of the thoughts and streams of consciouness you are feeling today.  

I know this is an extra bit of work, but as much as possible, keep posting here AND also begin your own detailed account of your own withdrawal through personal journaling.  If not for yourself, for the next person to come along.  

Courage and Strength to everyone,

Fred

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by travelingmom, Apr 01, 2009
Day 4 and I slept last night!  I have to admit though I feel pretty sore today.  Feels like my fibro pain-along with skin crawling.  It's better but before I leave to start my day I need to soak in the bath in the epsom salt mixture.  That might help it go away for a little while.  It's rainy here today and I will be in a house under construction so it might not be an easy day but at least I feel more energetic than the past few days.  
I cannot express enough how much it has helped to read previous post of those that are ahead of me in this process.  I could be on the way down in this withdrawal, having peeked yesterday/today?  I sure hope so.  
This has also made me want to get off all my fibro drugs that cloud who I am.  It's unfortunate that I need meds but raising a family and having soreness and fatigue makes you try things to cope.  Once this is over I'm re evaluating what I've been put on to ease symptoms.  I know you need medicine but too many isn't healthy.


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by bodegirl, Apr 01, 2009
Hey everyone,
I want to thank you for your loving support-I really needed that.  Yesterday was a horrible day, but I made it through.  It was actually a relief knowing that I could handle even the most terrible thing without numbing with tram.  My husband was actually quite supportive, thank goodness!  The doctor also reassured me that it was nothing I did or took that caused the miscarriage-it just happens.  I guess I take comfort in that and all the kind words from you guys.

Now I have to try to move on and continue my fight.  This pregnancy kicked me into gear and off of the tramadol and I will forever be grateful for that.

Keep fighting everyone.  You can do it!!

xo bode

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by bjb97, Apr 01, 2009
Bodegirl -- so glad you are feeling better about yourself (and glad your husband is too).  I hope the doctors words will let you off the hook and take away all the guilt you were feeling.  Proud of you for being so strong girl!

Travelling Mom -- It sounds like you good be on the downhill ride now -- Yippee!  You are mimicking my journey only a day or two early but you took way less Tram for shorter period of time than I did too.

Fred -- Oh wise one -- Fred is so right about the journelling.  Even though I didn't even join this site until a couple days in and didn't start journelling until Day 5, it truly helps and it will be good for my self esteem and mental well being to reflect on my journal entries down the road to know how proud I can be of myself for being the beast and to know WHERE I"VE BEEN.

Emily -- I have so much admiration, respect and gratitude for you.  Providing this site for us all was such a gift.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Hugs.  Get well!

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by noodlegrl, Apr 01, 2009
Morning all...

Today is day 7. Yay! I can't wait for the next few days to be over with.

I had a scary experience last night that pretty much turned me into a stressed out panicked worrying glob of goo. I was trying to help hubby with dinner and I got the feeling like I was going to pass out again and felt anxiety and panic. So I sat down till the dark cloud tingliness shortness of breath feeling went away. And then resumed what I was doing. Well, this happened 2 more times with the same intensity. So I would sit down for a few. The last time it happened, it felt like I couldn't feel anything, it was like I was numb, the anxiety/panic feeling in my chest stopped - in my brain it did not, it got worse. But after a few seconds, the numbness went away and I could feel everything again. I ended up going and laying down for a few. Hubby finished dinner and I ate and felt some better. I've run several things through my head - 1) Different kind of panic attack. 2) I was just literally about to pass the hell out! 3) I am taking too many vitamins and **** to how much food I am eating (still not much because still not much appetite) 4) Hopefully, maybe in a strange way its part of the healing. I *think* I am feeling a little better today than yesterday, all things considered, BUT VERY aware of the strange feelings/pains I am having now.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Things surely should start looking more up now. Surely. Please?

** - We are on the same day! Your doing so well!

Emily - Hang in there! You are so strong to keep it up!

Lucky - Thank you! Yay for not being anxious and depressed! Wish I could get there already >.<

Traveling - You are doing really really well! Its so hard to work much less travel and work. I'm tired just thinking of it! Keep it up!

Madtram - Thank you! I didn't understand half lifes.. now I understand as well as my brain will let me... That makes me feel better to know that most likely the Tram is out! But I am starting to wonder if I should still wait a little while before taking anything else in case my body is like WTH from all the **** I just all of a sudden started shoving in it to try and get well.

Fred - Keeping a public journal is hard for me. I will probably make copies of my posts lol. I do have a private journal that has somewhat been neglected because part of me does want to forget this all. But I know I never will. I would like it to be able to help others but.. I just dunno. Hard situation you present to me my friend. That may be hard for some of you to understand.

Everyone is doing great! I am proud for all. We deserve to be happy and sober!

~Noodle

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by bjb97, Apr 01, 2009
Noodle --  Today is day 7 for me too and I, too, had a couple of very anxious moments last evening.  I would be almost in a state of euphoria -- feeling so great and then five minutes later would be not able to cope, anxious and screaming at my hubbie.  Fortunately I went out for a walk and got the good endorphins moving and that really helps me.  I remember back when I was so addicted to nicotine and would get those -- "I can't take this anymore" attacks during c/t, exercise was my saviour.  Just a 5 or 10 minute walk or run can works miracles.  

You're doing great.  Hang in there.  Together, we can win.

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by 2Sue, Apr 01, 2009
Hi its day three and i knew i should have stayed in bed today.Felt very strange this morning euphoric, sore,very odd.managed to get three children out the door then went to work.
consultants nurse rang me at 9 and said to go to A and E to see a surgical doc and get pain sorted so left work again, feeling very guilty but hoping pain would get sorted at last.
still sitting in the most uncomfortable chair until 1ish. doc came and we had a heated discussion about tramadol, not what i wanted and he sugested as theyd worked i should go back on them. he hadnt listened at all about the two months its taken me to wean off them..he dismissed the websites and actually said dont believe what you read.if he knew me he would see the effects by looking at me, im like a some strange zombified creature.
a light in nurse form said hed been on it and understood me. fab, not going mad after all. so y the hell was an old woman on his unit being px it in the next bed.i felt like shouting to her no. shed already refused codeine .Nurse said theyd reduced their codeine prescribing and tramadol was now being used. GOD help them all.
ive now been px diclofenic with omeprazole and paracetamol.however i now dont trust this doc at all,.Does anyone know if this is a good substitute for deep pain.  
Im now at home after my very weary day, feeling very guilty about not being at work, im cross and very much in pain.

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by 2Sue, Apr 01, 2009
hi bjb97, i read my previous post and realised how  angry i sound. took ur advice and just been on trampoline.
ive not been able to do any excercise, walks etc whilst being on tram for six months,just couldnt do it.
feel like ive woke up.waiting for endorphins to kick in.

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by EmilyPost, Apr 01, 2009
2Sue that sounds absolutely terrible! I cannot imagine in your early withdrawal having to face a medical professional who says that withdrawal and horrible side effects do not exist from Tramadol. And yeah, in my experience Codeine is a better drug for pain than Tramadol. Of course, all the pain meds eventually reach tolerance and the only really good solid answer I have come up with is to get as healthy as possible, as fit as possible and then see where you are on the pain scale ...

SO often Tramadol has and does make pain unbearable. Which is another reason to be incredibly angry about the fact that it was prescribed in the first place. It would seem that many of the Doctors are not listening to their patients, which is a shame. Because alot of suffering could be averted. But then, I myself have been to a very fancy expensive Psychiatrist (Dr. Groovy) who did not want me to taper off Klonopin. Which is INSANE. So; there ya go. Idiots!

There's also Doctors who claim there's no withdrawal from Benzos! Yes. And they claim "that it really isn't so bad." Yeah, ok.

*Gives them Benzos and Tramadol*

bjb97 Isn't the euphoria amazing? Its interesting because that has happened to me more times than I recall with drug withdrawal. Massive overwhelming Euphoria sometimes followed by its opposite. Crazy stuff man. I agree about the exercise.

Noodle, yes, I have had that exact experience while withdrawing from Tramadol. It destroyed my sense of hunger and my sense of thirst. I didn't faint, but yes, things would go black. And it also happened while I was on Tramadol.

It'll get better Noodle ... but yeah, you have to get a minimum number of calories or you'll actually faint. ((((hugs)))) Remember; soup is good food. Plus protein is the key to helping withdrawal, I find.

(((Bode))) So glad that you got some relief from your situation. I've been there and you have my sincerest sympathies. (((((Bode)))))

Traveling Oh yes, the first 4 days were the worst. It gets so much better after that, I promise! The really good part about Tramadol Withdrawal in its early stages is that it's so horrible (hang on I am going somewhere here ..) that I have the pain kinda seared into my brains! I won't EVER forget how bad it was. It was truly wicked and horrible. The worst! So painful.

So that helps you NEVER even consider Tramadol again as there's no doubt that it makes EVERYTHING worse. It turns on people so quickly. It makes pain worse. It made my pain unbearable. I was so incredibly messed up. But it was Chemistry you know? I had Doctors telling me how safe it was, as I was kind of ... dying ...

So it does infuriate me that you have Fibro and it has NO DOUBT been made into a worse situation by the addition of Tramadol. That makes me very angry for you. And you are not by any means the last one this will happen to. Not by a long shot.

It's all very sickening. I think about Dr. Groovy telling me that Klonopin is the safest Benzo out there and it makes me wanna smash stuff. Maybe that's the homicidal streak of Klonopin Withdrawal. Which is undeniable.

Yesterday my assistant asked me how to change the paper taper in the credit card machine. I had to laugh because my response was so insane. I was unreasonably angry about the fact that the tape needed to be changed. So funny now. But at the time, I was thinking, "Holy Moly, this is all too hard. How can these people expect me to know everything about everything all of the time? This is so annoying. I should throw her and this machine off the roof."

Errrmmmmmmmm ... Ok! Great plan. *eye roll* So yeah, the mind is not all there and functioning with a half baked mind is not fun. But I am extremely GRATEFUL that I must! I am so glad I have a job! I'm so glad I have responsibility because if I were alone with my thoughts every day thru this ... I would have gone insane 30 days ago.

Fact is withdrawal is really uncomfortable. If  were not writing about it; I wouldn't be able to remember it. At all. Massive memory loss. The Tramadol I remember extremely well. But no; I barely remember last week. I can't really remember the weekend. That's how Benzos kill. People get confused. They take the word of the Doctor ... it's a tragedy.

So in my opinion it's a little better to "have to" do XYZ after a certain point. It is keeping my brain  from absolutely losing it. It also in certain ways feels better to constantly be challenging the brain to wake up and function. I do things like take a different way home to keep my brain out of autopilot. I seek stimulation when i feel agoraphobic. Not all the time, but generally I know I am coming off a very very strong pill. Or rather a long series of pills that was supposed to help me "mange" chronic pain. Of course, it didn't.

The klonopin taper is really tortuous. It's no fun.  Except that occasionally I have many hours of being highly entertained by my thoughts.

MadTram, yeah. No one in Los Angeles believes for a second that Heath Ledger's untimely end wasn't also from his massive illegal drug use and its interaction with many pills. This is a big cocaine town. And alot of the evidence was ... well lets just say it vanished. It's still such a tragedy. Many people don't  know the dangers of Benzos and that Ambien works in such a dangerous way.

(((Fred))) Oh I remember that post, your first post so well!  I still laugh about being called a liar. Makes me so happy (in an emotionally blunted way ... klonopin makes me all emotionally blunted) that you found this place. I think many people google Tramadol withdrawal and end up at the bottom of our longest threads! Day 45 Again! or Day 48 ... Thank goodness! Because there was nothing out there that was "live" when i started to withdraw. I couldn't believe how horrid my withdrawal was. I am very blessed to have found kindness on the Interwebs Computer Machine!

So I woke up this morning saturated in sweat ...again. And I have a rib poking me because I slept funny. But I did sleep. And in the last two days, I have had dreams. I haven't had dreams in easily a full month. Which means no healing deep sleep. Which also means I was going off the deep end from sleep deprivation. Yes, my neck is painful. But I am awfully close to never having to tae this klonopin again. On its way out it has spiked my back pain (Tylenol and Ice packs and resting) and my sciatic pain was back in spades a few days ago. That's very typical of any withdrawal. It gets so so so much worse; and then it gets better.

Hugs for all! If I missed you it's soooo not purposeful!

You can do it! Basically; just ... don't take the Tramadol ... it's horrible stuff!

Love and Healing,
Emily

2Sue, it's ok to be very angry ...

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by noodlegrl, Apr 01, 2009
Emily or anyone who can answer -

How likely is it that this could turn out very bad - like because I am 5'2 95lbs not the greatest diet (really), just recently started drinking any amount of water, all of a sudden started taking lots of vitamins supplements etc after almost a year of gradually working up to 150-200 mg Trampooh a day ... like should I worry about my heart or anything... because that feeling last night was very close to feeling like my heart stopped..... for a second.. I have a way of siking myself out and getting paranoid and then that makes me feel even worse than I did... so I was just wondering what you guys think of this?

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by EmilyPost, Apr 01, 2009
It's normal Noodle, it's the Tramadol withdrawal. I got palpatations and near fainting attacks. It was also hard to breathe.

It's also so important to have food in your stomach before you have vitamins. It's not the vitamins, it's the withdraal.

But you need some food ...

The paranoia is the Withdrawal. I'm super paranoid ... or rather, the Withdrawal is Paranoid ...

You could go to get a cardian study, but I'm pretty sure that's classic withdrawal ... slow down a bit ok? Rest.


((((nooodle))))

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by Dylan465, Apr 01, 2009
Hello all. Trying to fit in to be honest and not feeling a part of yet. I imagine it's the emotional and depressive impact of the drug. I was always sensitive, but not like this. I took 1/4 of a pill, which is about 12mg 2xs yesterday. So, that's 25mg. Should I just stop or continue a day or 2? I woke up in pain, have been in a semi fog and emotional. I would appreciate any responses. A nice man said that the lack of pain(b/c I posted a question if the pain would be less) would come b/c we all take more trams or something like that but I didn't. I only took actually less than prescribed the whole time. Do I need to read everything here to understand? right now, I am tired, bed too late, and not sure to say bye trams as of yesterday. I did a semi slow taper, maybe about a month's worth. I am definitely not in a good mood. My husband is very sick and it is me doing everything on top of it, neither of us have been able to work, have an mri today too. Yes, I guess I'm having a "pity party"--but do I need to read all these posts and any suggestions for the depression? I have gotten off various drugs and never felt down like this. My husband got off of the trams and said he didn't feel anything. Last year, I got off of ativan and felt like I was having steroid rages but they went away quick.
I was an exercise nut and also advised to get back into it and strengthen my back. The doctors here have been bad, no advise, nothing. I pray for wisdom and help with the detox but also for my husband and our financial problems.
Thanks for listening.

Bode I am soooooo sorry of your loss, my problems seem trivial to yours.Blessings to you, may it be made up to you 10 fold.

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by noodlegrl, Apr 01, 2009
I hoped you would say that. Yea cardiac study - I'm a doctor phobe, so I try to diagnose myself and get carried away. Rest... lol... yea, I think I am trying to do too much. Working full time, 2 kids I am trying to keep up with, husband - low maintenance but still, still trying to do all my normal stuff at home (which I have slacked a lot randomly, but the bulk of things stays cleaned up like laundry and kitchen), it is taking its toll. But its like impossible to take time off.. 1) Taking off disrupts entire office, 2) for that I have fear of losing job, 3) It makes me feel guilty to take off, 4) only get paid when off if pre-requested with 2 weeks notice so that would mean a small check. Hubby says do what I gotta do, its harder than that.... I may have to though, but I am trying to make it at least through today.. which is starting to feel even with yesterday.



It'll be ok.

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by noodlegrl, Apr 01, 2009
Dylan,

I was concerned about fitting in as well when I first started posting here. It does help to go back and read everything. The hard part for me right now is everything I am feeling in the moment consumes me, makes me have anxiety. There are things that you can take to detox and help get the **** outta you. Read the Thomas Recipe and Amino Acid Protocol. I am taking several things off those (multi-vitamin, magnesium, fish oil, L-Theanine, Green Tea Extract, Niacin, Sublingual B-12 [but before I got that 5-hour Energy] I think thats all). Research and see what will work for you and won't interact with anything else you might be taking. It definitely helped with the physical part of it, except for the few near passing out incidences which per Emily seems to probably be from a combination of withdrawal and my almost mal-nutrition. The emotional/psychological battle wages on and is trying to break my spirit. But the war wages on.

If rest is also part of my issue, then, Dylan - get plenty of rest.

Dylan, I have learned, this is a place where we can come and talk about our problems without worrying about not fitting in. Everyone here wants to help the next person. We are all in the same boat. We know how horrible it is. Don't ever feel you can't come here and voice your concerns or ask for help.

Hugs to you.

~Noodle



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by EmilyPost, Apr 01, 2009
Noodle, I understand the urge to try and do too much. But you have to get better. You owe it to yourself and your family to get better and that means, rest. The whole vibe of any withdrawal is "How Long will this last?" The frantic searching for answers online only leaves us all more confused.

The whole "I can't miss work," is a situation I am familiar with. The thing for me, was that if I didn't get off the pills, I was going to die. So, it trumped those concerns. I understand not being able to miss work. Your husband will have to help and you need to slow down. Something's Gotta Give. For me, I let my house become a bomb zone. The house stuff could wait. My priorities had to be reset.

(((Dylan))) Of course you feel depressed and confused and awful. Yes, i do think you have tapered enough and should now jump off. Be ready for a few days of hell. Stock up on supplies and get ready. Get your body outside, into the sun to help depression if you can. There's no such thing as a "pity party." You have very legitimate issues. Naturally t he Doctors aren't listening or helping. Those Idiots! They seem fine getting people hooked but know little about healing.

Dylan if your husband avoided Tramadol withdrawal pain he either doesn't remember, thought he had the flu, or went on another medication (an opiate probably) that numbed him out.

Dylan you write, " I have gotten off various drugs and never felt down like this."

There's nothing like Tramadol withdrawal. It's big bad awful poison. I have a bunch of experience getting off pills and Tramadol remains so high on he list of awful ...awful ...awful. Many of us have heard people talking about getting off illegal street drugs easier ...

It's ok ... you already fit in!

Love and Healing,
Em

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by suzipen, Apr 01, 2009
Hi everyone,

I just wanted to check in and say Hi, and to give you all (((hugs))).
I havent been posting, and I feel bad about that. I think sometimes it is not productive to post, for me or any of you.
I read everything, and keep all of you warriors in my thoughts.

Life has many transition phases, and I guess that is what I am going thru right now.

Love and strength to ALL OF YOU,

suzi

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by 2Sue, Apr 01, 2009
thanks Emily,you are a marvil to be suffering an giving people valuable advice.
dylan, i was on 25mgs for four days (start taping down from 200mgs fourly two months ago). and found i was worse on lower doses.I stopped on Monday,3 days now.everyone is different but just wanted off too.Mentally i feel more alert and want to be more active for the first time in six months.my pain has escalated, but have started other analgesia and am hoping itll help. Be kind to urself.u have a lot on ur plate.im emotional, weepy, bad tempered, but much more myself..lol.

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by Shadetree, Apr 01, 2009
Why did you think u were gonna die? I am freakin out... My taper is going slow & i am really starting to get paranoid!

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by EmilyPost, Apr 01, 2009
You'll be ok Shadetree! I think you're asking me about this?

" The whole "I can't miss work," is a situation I am familiar with. The thing for me, was that if I didn't get off the pills, I was going to die. So, it trumped those concerns. I understand not being able to miss work. Your husband will have to help and you need to slow down. Something's Gotta Give. For me, I let my house become a bomb zone. The house stuff could wait. My priorities had to be reset. "

Because eventually being on that many pills for legitimate chronic pain reaches tolerance. Tolerance is when the drugs turn on you and give you no good effects. Just bad side effects. I had been in Tolerance for a long time.


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by Shadetree, Apr 01, 2009
Emily,
Yes that was to you. I thought I put that but I guess not. Thank you for responding back so quickly.
It just seems like my taper is taking FOREVER. And I have those thoughts of dying all the time. How sad it would be, because I did this to myself. And my kids would have to grow up without a mom all because I have been so selfish...

~Shade

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by EmilyPost, Apr 01, 2009
Yes, Shadetree, I know I know! Tapering is a very different kind of he$$. I'm tapering off Klonpin and it has me all ... stupid and so on .........

(((Shadetree)))) It's ok! I promise you'll be ok!

Just be aware that Tramadol withdrawal (which you have on a taper) will give you Suicidal Ideation. Meaning you'll see yourself dying, or imagine it vividly. That's just the Tramadol leaving your body. Or you just see yourself dead, which is also so common in withdrawal. Terrifying and Normal!

And don't trust your "best thinking" on a taper or thru withdrawal ... it's all influenced by the Detox. I certainly don't trust any of the noise in my head right now.

Today I'm very disabled. Back pain, rib pain, lung pain, muscle pain. But I do Have Faith! I do! I have Faith this will end. All I need to do today is distract myself, not make it worse and lay really low. Yesterday I worked. It's part of the process. I have to look at it as, a means to an end. Like somehow all of this will make sense one day. Probably not TODAY ... but soon.

I will say that tapering off Klonopin has given me a huge amount of respect for the Mentally Ill/Depressed ... the world's most abused group of medically altered patients ... poor babies ... I can't even imagine having my mind like this all of the time ...

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by noodlegrl, Apr 01, 2009
Shade,

I am right there with you on that one. Thats what I was thinking all last night and a lot of the day today because of that near pass out/ heart stop beating thing. I'm only 26.. I haven't really thought of MYSELF dying. But it was like all in one instant I realized that just as easily as its someone else, it could just as easily be me. And I don't want it to be because of this.

And Emily, you are so very right. I need rest. I need some time off. I wish I could figure out a way without feeling guilty.

I can't wait to get to comfort zone. But the time at home goes so fast. Its like I leave work, pick up kids, get home, turn around come back to work. I need a vacay!



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by travelingmom, Apr 01, 2009
Ok, for all of you-and me-that thought I was "breezing" through this withdrawal, it caught up with me today!!!  I crashed emotionally.  I'm in the middle of a house renovation and was onsite and between the project manager giving me his unwanted opinions, and me being sore, sick, tired and irritable etc, I fell apart.  I waited to get in my car before I did, but managed to scare a few close friends when I was doing so over the phone.  Day three and four have been rough.  I guess traveling isn't as easy as I thought.  Emilypost-thanks for saying day 4 is the worst.  I couldn't imagine another day like today.  Tough part is my husband won't be here for moral support for awhile.  My daughters will be in over Easter weekend, but hopefully I'll be "mom" again.  I need people more than they need me and that's never been the case before and not easy for me to ask for help.  Noodlegrl-I know the breathless feeling of anxiety.  It feels like someone is pushing on my lungs squeezing air out.  I wish the pain in my extremities would lessen but I am sure it's a release of toxins!
I still have the above to finish reading and will post an update again later.

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by AnnieNYC, Apr 01, 2009
Hi everybody,

I'm just lookin' for some company. I've done something really stupid and now I'm paying for it. I was three months clean off tramadol, then travelled 3,000 miles to visit my mother who is dying of Alzheimer's and fell apart and relapsed. I'm not sure how many I've been doing, honestly, but it's upwards of 10 50-mg tabs a day. And I'm running out. And my online pharmacy screwed up and may not get me my refill til Monday, and so that's that. So I've tapered for a couple of days, which is meaningless, and now I have three pills left.

I was figuring my shipment would come tomorrow. Mild withdrawal today, but I'm still working. I was intending to taper off anyway, but not quite as fast as things are going.

So I'm just in for it, is all. Maybe my pills will arrive Friday, but it's doubtful. So I guess one more pill tonight before bed, then the last two tomorrow, then we'll see.

I was so dumb to do this, but things got to be too much. I've been out of work since LAST March, just starting to work again, fighting foreclosure, my mother doesn't know me anymore, my sisters are totally crazy, I have no insurance. I've got to get through this myself. Thank God I do have some work, and I have faith things are getting better. I don't have a boyfriend or anyone with a shoulder I can cry on. Today I started crying for the first time in I don't know how long. I know part of it is the withdrawal, but dang...life has been rough lately.

Anyhow, just wanted to say hi and kindly ask for your company. Thanks.

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by kevzx81, Apr 01, 2009
FISH-FISH-FISH----Whats going on with my appetite?? I keep  craving protein(logical after w/d) but my taste buds only want FISH. I love fish but its all a bit too.....fishy!!!
And fruit, esp melon,banana,mandarin. Im getting veg cravings too, never ate so much lettuce and tomato ever!!
( planting tomatoes at allotment now Emily! sending you some....)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SO...Post Tramadol Pain Diary Part......fish!

Developing an attitude of mind towards pain/discomfort.....resenting and fearing my pain was the main obstacle for me.
Ive copied Emilys 'steam room yoga' idea, by maintaining activity while in pain, being aware that I can stop anytime, but choosing to continue. To teach myself that its ok to be not ok. "of course it hurts, but you CAN stop if you want to" validating my pain AND my options in working with it. Im going gently and slowly though, no sudden shocks or stresses.

Im identifying and validating ALL my feelings thru the day,esp when I first wake up. Is it only me or do our feelings sometimes wake up ahead of us? Some time spent checking the emotional inventory for 'strays' seems to pay off when I wake up. THEN face the world......maybe today it wont eat me alive!!!

75 days free, diet is improving and stamina is coming back at last. LESS PAIN!!!!!!!!!

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I know that many of you who have recently arrived have more immediate priorities than post tram stuff, but I will keep posting in case its useful or until someone throws tomatoes.....

All the best everyone.

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by bjb97, Apr 01, 2009
Man, we're a mixed bag, aren't we?  But we all have one thing in common, unfortunately, Tramadol.


I was just trying to lift a few weights to get my heart rate up and some good endorphins moving towards my brain.
I had a gym membership and worked out religiously for 15 years until last September when I lost the motivation to work out. I am someone who ran my first marathon 4 years ago at age 50 and suddenly I didn't feel the desire to work out.   I didn't have a weight problem, in fact as probably all of you I had lost weight on Tramadol.  I was even making milk shakes every night for myself so I wouldn't be too thin.  

This drug takes away everything good you have going on and replaces it with sh###t.  When I realized 1 1/2 weeks ago that I was addicted to tramadol, a drug my doctor told me was non-addictive and the withdrawal symptoms set in, I was bound and determined to rid my body of all of the toxins and poison as soon as possible.  Even though it is so difficult at times and I feel like I have no energy to work out, I make myself do something, no matter how small -- 10 push ups, 25 crunches, 5 minute brisk walk, 10 min on eliptical, running up and down stairs several times.  It helps Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

I know I'm one of the lucky ones because as I'm said before I work part time, have a wonderfully loving and supporting spouse,and very little to deal with right now except healing this abused and tired body.

Take a hot detox box (2 cups epsom salts, 1/2 cup baking soda, 1/3 cup hydrogen peroxide) put on lots of good smelling lotion and give yourself a BIG hug.

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by suzipen, Apr 01, 2009
Hey Kev,
Heres something fishy..................I crave fish too!
Fish and cauliflower!
Mmmmmmmmmm.............boy does my kitchen smell great when I am done cooking! :)

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by kevzx81, Apr 01, 2009
Suzi- I have bread issues too!!! I can only eat nan or pitta. supper tonight is honeydew melon and nan bread;yummy but a bit weird?! And Cereal, tons of it. It all adds up to a healthier diet than I ever had before and it seems to be getting me fitter so I'll go with the weird food combos for now. Im off chocolate,meat,cheese,ice-cream. All previous weaknesses!!
At least I still enjoy cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEELP.. I'm turning into a health food freak!!!!!! OH NO ego wounded, will I grow wool and vote liberal next lol?

On a more serious note....so much change right now I can hardly keep up with the items changing. No more maltesers fixation but I am hogging the malted milk biscuits...whats with the malted milk??? Ovaltine anyone?

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by FinallyFred, Apr 02, 2009
Suzi,  Nice hearing from you kid.  Hope all is well in fishville.  :)  OMG, I had fish for dinner tonight myself.  Topped off with a couple of fish oil pills.  Nummers.

Kev,  you said, "I know that many of you who have recently arrived have more immediate priorities than post tram stuff, but I will keep posting in case its useful or until someone throws tomatoes..... "  No tomatoes Kev.  Like bjb said, we are a mixed bag.  And with any luck, all of us will be "post tram" and looking for those life skills you are talking about.  Please...keep em coming.

Annie, I definately feel your pain.  Keep hanging around and posting.  Assuming you don't want to stop taking the drug, for your sake I hope the FedEx truck pulls up tomorrow.  Big hugs to you Annie.  

Counting pills really sux...um...especially when there aren't any more to count.  There were a whole lot of reasons why I quit this terrible drug, but one of the main reasons I quit, was I got so tired of counting pills at the end of each RX cycle.  Tired of that "forced taper" I did at the end of every cycle.  Feeling EXACTLY like I am sure you do tonight Annie.  It was not uncommon for me to not sleep much that last several days of every RX cycle.  For six years the merry-go-round went around and around.  And somehow, spending 4-5 days in hell to be RID of all that, seemed like an investiment of time, I just had to make.  

And as best I can recall, I could never call in my rx and wait until the NEXT day to pick it up...and get back to "theraputic levels".  It was always a really big scene.  Desperation.  On RX day, I would call in the order for a refill, and then call back every hour to make sure my physician had approved it.  And some days, my good doctor would be gone for the day on vacation, etc.  How dare he?  And I recall some occassions after driving to my pharmacy  being told "your refill was not approved".  Holy Mother of God, would I go balistic.  If I had to, I'd talk to a consulting nurse or my M.D.s "backup", but there was absolutely NO WAY I was going home without my tramadol.  Somehow, spending 4-5 days in hell to be RID of all that, seemed like an investiment of time, I just had to make.  

Traveling, yeah I wasn't going to say anything after your positive post the other day, but days 3-4 are really tough.  The way I figure it, the first 24 horus after you take your last trams isn't that bad, since you still have some of the demon drug running through your veins.  Day 2 was a little worse for me, but by days 3-4, that sleep depervation adds up to a swell rummy feeling on top of everything else.  And then things begin to settle down.  

To all you mom's and wives out there, I say let the housework go to hell while you get well.  The thing is, from my own experience, nobody we live with really "gets" how hard this thing is that you are doing right now.  They expect you to be a chipper superperson EVEN WHEN YOU ARE WITHDRAWING FROM ONE OF THE NASTIEST DRUGS KNOWN TO MANKIND.  You can't do it all.  Obviously small children can't be ignored.  But "housework" and shopping and cooking?  We need to prioritize while getting through this tunnel...and in my opinion, these things (housework, shopping, cooking) aren't as important as getting well.  

You guys are the best.

Fred





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by Ellie321, Apr 02, 2009
HI everyone. This is a really wonderful site. I have been surfing and surfing trying to find answers to this damn dilemna. I began taking Tramidol 6mo ago for headaches and discovered it "canceled" some other symptoms I am having, and have yet to get a diagnosis on. (Short version: gastric by pass 1.8years ago, sept 17 began feeling lightheaded, shakey; was hospitalized, began having headaches, they gave me norco, after leaving hospital, doc changed it to Tramidol "because it is much less addictive". Nuff said. 6mo later, my symptoms are muddled by tramidol so I decided I wouldnt take them anymore. Periodically, I would take a darvocet or two for a couple days to offset weird headaches tramidol seemed to give me. So I stopped taking the tram by taking 3 one day, 2 the next, and then 1, meanwhile subbing with darvocets and low dose vicoden (breaking pills in half). Figured I should be ok. So last wed was my last tram; Thurs I had 2-3 darvs, vicodin, Same Sat, and Sun. Monday: Nothing. Tuesday: Nothing. Problem: Monday I started feeling pain in my bones, weakness (which was part of my original symptoms); Tuesday: Bad again. Finally realized I am withdrawing from the Tramidol. (cursing).

How do I get off this stuff? I have taken the rest of the week off but must return to work on Monday. I would be willing to CT if I was sure it was over by Monday. Or I have plenty of other types of drugs, which I could use to sub for the tram. Pharmacist told me to do 3 everyday for a week, then 2 everyday for a week, followed by 1 everyday for a week.  My thoughts are that maybe instead of the tramidol (which I am convinced is evil) I might have success with 3-2-1 plan with low dose of darvocet, maybe even breaking some of those pills in half.

Or am I deluding myself? I have tried to rely on health care professionals, but am finally convinced they know less than me. Or at least the ones I am seeing (there is a story there).

Ok, tell the truth.
thanks
Ellie

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by FinallyFred, Apr 02, 2009
Ellie,  Yes, sounds like you ARE withdrawing from tramdaol.  I am not certain that I am following you, but if you took your last tramadol a week ago, you SHOULD be through the wost of the symptoms by now.  If I misunderstood, please clarify.

I don't think you are deluding yourslf to think that if you do not take any more trams, you should be alright to be back to work on Monday.  Some here her actually worked with withdrawing (which I could NEVER have done).  But you'll have a full 10-12 days by next Monday, so I think you will be alright by then.  

Bet of luck and let us know how you are doing.  There are a great many other people here exactly where you are at with this drug, who are positing here right now.  I think you will benefit from exchanging posts with them/us.

Good luck, Fred

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by madtram, Apr 02, 2009
Hi Ellie & much sympathy to you.  It sounds as though you may be at the peak of tram withdrawal, day four or five is often the worst of all.  One of the many troubles with tramadol is the unique features of including a tricyclic type of antidepressant & a partial opiate receptor agonist which means that it seems to have a range of effects on different individuals, (as did the older style antidepressants).

The standard practice for tricyclics is to taper off slowly so your taper is much closer to cold turkey withdrawal.  

For all that, there is something to be said for staying off as you could well be at least half way through the absolute worst.  

As tramadol's opioid effects are distinct from vicoden & darvocet, those opioids may not relieve all the tramadol withdrawal side effects, however some have reported that vicoden relieved their withdrawals somewhat.  I was on tramadol for five years which seemed to fubar my opiate receptors such that taking a low dose of codeine threw me back into withdrawal.  Everyone metabolises these drugs differently though so I think your plan to taper using darvocet is a reasonable one.  The advantage of this is that you will be taking the antidepressant out of the mix.

Weakness is a very common withdrawal side effect.   If you read the Thomas recipe on this link:

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66

there are suggested natural remedies that may help to improve energy & other symptoms that may arise.

Wishing you well,

Michelle

Hey Fred, isn't it time for bed?




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by madtram, Apr 02, 2009
While I'm here, dear Emily, so sorry for your pain flare-up, I hope you are at least getting some solid REM sleep as I type.  Great point about the mentally disabled, some of the psychoactive drugs are equally as foul as tramadol, especially the antipsychotics for schizophrenia & yet people are patronised when they complain about the side effects or judged when they refuse to take their meds.

SuziP, good to see you.  I don't think you should beat yourself up about not posting or the quality of posts, I'm sure that Emily doesn't intend her site to be another burden.  But I know it's just your caring nature, you are going to make such a great nurse.

BJB, you are doing so great with maintaining your workouts, you are so right that just showing up for something is a worthwhile achievement.  I am a big believer in the benefits of exercise & had worked out for most of my 48 years but in withdrawal, I was mashed.  Being an extreme type & hopefully also due to tramafog, I tried to do exactly the same workout as pre withdrawal.  After a few extremely unpleasant experiences involving out of control heart palpitations & plummeting blood pressure, I just gave up.  Your balanced approach on the other hand, is a recipe for success.

Good news for the fish munchers, there's no such thing as fish overdose, although your neighbours may disagree if you don't put the bones straight into the outside trash.

Best to all,
M

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by Ellie321, Apr 02, 2009
Wow! Thanks guys. I so appreciate all of this. Yes Fred, my last tram was on Wed, 1 week ago. I was taking 5 or 6 pills a day for 6 mos. I think I wont ever take another one of those pills again. Just not worth it. Thanks Michelle, for the calm understanding. I have been through a lot and I want off this merry-go-round. I have just been trying to figure out the best way for me to do it. Do I CT and risk failure but go for the Gold with it coming sooner rather than later (Quite appealing, yet I hate pain). Or do I humble myself and admit that I am not superwoman and that suffering isnt necessarily noble, lol!

Ok, I think I will do the 3-2-1 with the darvocet. Maybe I can even shorten it, once the tram effects have subsided.

Its so wierd. My bones hurt, my muscles hurt. I feel bad, then I will feel ok or better at least for about 45 min, then it gets bad again.

Who knew this was such a bad drug. It seems worse than vicodin. And yes Michelle, I took 5 mg of
Vicodin tonight and it really didnt touch the ache in my bones.

I will be back here each day, at least once.

And to you other detoxers: You guys rock! I have been reading all of your posts. Thanks for all of the strength. I have been sober 18 years and feel like an *** for being in this situation. I guess I was in need of more humility eh?

Love you guys,
Ellie

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by travelingmom, Apr 02, 2009
Day 5 and I slept a solid 7.5 hours and feel pretty good.  I am blown away by the posts on this site and how everyone finds support.  It was scary to begin posting on the internet as I've never joined anything like this before but it has saved me.  I don't think I would have had any idea how "normal" the past 4 days have been without the people going through this and have been through this.  Thank you to each and everyone one of you!

Okay, it's POURING rain and I have meetings at my house all day. (under renovation)  I think I might be able to pull off moving in the first week of May.  Before I detoxed I looked at the next two months and wanted to cry not knowing how I'd get through it.   We have a daughter graduating from college as well as my live-in nephew graduation was a service academy (takes a full week for that!)  That along with this finishing up of the house makes May super packed.  Oh, and our two other children are also in college so they'll be flying in/out for these events as well.  (and how do they move out of their dorms?? guess they'll figure that out w/out me!)  

Believe it or not as crazy as April and May will be, knowing that I don't have shingles anymore-tram dependance made me think it was still an issue, and am on my way to finally feeling better tram free gives me such hope.  
Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I know I can do this.  I am generally a very "up" person so having this back in my personality is exhilarating!

Ellie, stick with it!
Sue 2-same!
Finally Fred thanks for keeping us going.
Emilypost-I cannot believe how you've supplied us newcomers with this site. FYI- the same dr that started me with the trams also switched my fibro sleep med to klonipin.  You'll need to help me with that next.
noodlegrl, bjb98, yellowlabmom, thanks-being ahead of me by a day or two is helpful-you have no idea!

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by FinallyFred, Apr 02, 2009
Michelle,  Yeah, I am not getting my usual 7-8 hours of beauty sleep these days.  I have been working about 12 hours a day. leaving me with only precious slivers of down time and 5-6 hours of sleep each night.  (thank goodness, it's deep REM sleep anyway).  This too shall pass.

Traveling,  You said, "I've never joined anything like this before but it has saved me. "  Me neither Traveling.  The fact is, after being on a computer much of every day at work many days, I could never bring myself to even log on to my personal email account during the week EVER before/after work until "this thing" came to a head.  

Stay strong today you guys.

Fred

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by bjb97, Apr 02, 2009
Ellie -- my history is similar to yours.  I got a vicodin prescription from my doc two weeks ago and thought "I am just going to take the vicodin; I don't think this Tramadol is working anyway".  I had been told my my doc when prescribed Tram 2 years ago that it was non-narcotic and non-addictive so I didn't think it was a big deal.  I had been taking 6-8 Tramadol a day for the 6-8 months prior and probably 4-6 day from on onstart 2 years ago.  I never exceeded 8 only out of fear of seizures.  

Anyway that started two weeks ago today (Thursday)  and for the following 5 days I took all of my vicodin prescription 4 pills 5 x day.  By Saturday (2 days post Tram) I started to feel not quite right.  Like I was getting the flu, Sunday I felt really blue and cried a couple of times, achy, tired.  Monday -- the dam holding my tears broke and I sobbed on and off for no reason ALL day long.  I thought for awhile that I was going crazy.  There is a lot of depression, suicide, alcoholism, mental problems in my family and I thought I was joining the ranks.  Late Mon a.m. I googled Tramadol and found this site.  I was shocked, angry, scared, but overjoyed that I had someone to talk to.  Others who were sharing my pain.  

After realizing what was happening to me I was, I must at admit, a little relieved that I wasn't turning after my mother after all -- no yet anyway.  She suffered from mental problems for the past 15 years, alcholism which she kicked without therapy, on and all drugs by psychiatrists and md's and finally Alzheimers and dementia took her life in Feb.  

I am a very determined and focused woman when I want to be and I made a vow to kick this thing and kick is as hard and far away as I could.  I made an appointment to talk to my doc (another doc beside my prescribing Tram doc) on Tuesday and he confirmed that I was indeed in full blown Tram withdrawal.  I told him about this site and how wonderful and supporting it was and he said it was wonderful there are online safe havens for struggling victims like us.  I told him my concern was that I read you should stop Tram c/t cuz of seizures and he thought I was in no danger.  I said being an "all or nothing" personality I did not want to taper and just wanted to extract the venom from my system ASAP.

The next few days and nights (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and part of Sat) were HELL.  All the horrible, full blown systems nausea, severe diarrhea, hot then cold, sweating then freezing but the first for me was the restless legs and inability to sleep.  

I did end of taking 1/2 tram each night on Sunday Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,  meaning that I took my last one a week ago last night.

I am only writing all of this because you seem to be doing the same thing with darvacet and may see some similarities with my journey.  Everyone is different.

At any rate, good for you for joining the Tram train.  Hang in there and hugs to you Ellie!

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by bjb97, Apr 02, 2009
Ellie,

I guess I didn't complete my tale letting you know that I will get better.  After sleeping a total of 16 hours in 7 nights, I finally got 4 hours in a row following a another two later on Sunday.  Then 5 1/2 hours straight the next night and so on until 7  hrs last night.  The restless legs slowly subsided after Saturday evening.

It did now Day 8 for me -- counting back from when I took that last 1/2 Tram a week ago last evening.  I still feel up and down but the ups are getting longer and the downs shorter.  I am becoming the me that I lost for two years and I have a really strong hunch that I am going to LOVE this ME.

Be good to you.

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by noodlegrl, Apr 02, 2009
Morning all,

And so the battle continues... It is day 8.

Again, woke up this morning with anxiety, panic, dread. Did not want to get out of bed. But I did. And here I am at work. Again. Seems like I just left here. I am so tired. I let the house work go last night. If I don't do it tonight though, there will be no clean clothes to wear tomorrow or dishes to eat off of. That is going to be my task for tonight and then I am probably going to crash.

I only have to get through today and tomorrow and then its the glorious weekend. I have to see the light by Sunday. If not, I am going to go crazy. I am sorry to be a downer but jeez man (tram) give me up already! I don't want to be in your stupid clutches anymore! This is the most frustrating thing ever. Knowing what is wrong but feelings totally contradicting. Sad.

Welcome new people! All I can say at this time is this is a tough situation but it has to be done. And I don't mean to complain, and I don't want anyone to be scared. Tram is evil poison. I feel I must still be having anxiety and panic like this due to my nervous anxious nature even before tram. Going to take more time for my brain chemistry to correct itself. I am thankful to have made it this far. It is necessary. So if I can do it and make it to day 8 believe me when I say anyone can do it. I am a weak natured person.

Much to do today. Take care all. Will be back later.

~Noodle

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by noodlegrl, Apr 02, 2009
Wow.. crickets since I posted... =P

So I just read some new information... I think I have actually read it before but since I am such an in the moment person I tend to forget things when I am emotional etc. So I am wondering... I should be over the worst of ACUTE WITHDRAWAL, and now I may be experiencing POST ACUTE WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME? The withdrawal after the withdrawal... how FUN! I am feeling a little better at this MOMENT... comes and goes... the pattern of random :) Anyhoosy... hope everyone else is doing well!

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by franken, Apr 02, 2009

glad I found this post by googling "tramadol withdrawal" .I've been a recovering addict for the past 9 years.
I went into treatment in 1999 for addiction to pain pills, xanax and alcohol. Since then I've had some relapses.but until august of 2008 I had 5 years clean.last august i had surgery on my sinus and was given percocet for the pain.
I knew the risk involved but felt I needed something for the pain.After a about two weeks of recovery after the surgery I quit taking anything for pain other than otc meds. The doctor had told me it would take about 8 weeks to feel normal again after the surgery.After the 8 weeks had passed my sinus issues seemed much improved,no more horrible sinus infections,but i was having jaw pain and headaches.
after going to several doctors and two dentist they seemed in agreement my pain was from grinding my teeth.I was given tramadol for the pain.I was told it was non addictive and not a narcotic.I was glad to hear it,I had struggled so with my addiction after surgery I knew I could not handle being on a narcotic without abusing it.
I have been active in narcotics anonymous for years,and know that "one is too many and a thousand never a enough".
I also knew my old addict behavior had resurfaced during the time I was taking the percocet.I can rationalize insane behavior when I have narcotics in my system,I've lied,cheated and stole to get drugs in the past and I knew I was dangerously close to going to those extremes again if continued taking narcotics for the pain(one dentist gave me vicoden  for the jaw pain.)So I was hoping tramadol would be the safe alternative the doctors claimed it to be.I certainly can't blame it all on the doctors.I knew pretty quickly that I liked the way it made me feel way too much for it not to be addictive.I found that if I took 7 or 8 50mg pills at once I would feel the same kind of euphoria as i f taking a narcotic.I would feel pain free and have more energy as well,all without the guilt I felt when taking something I knew I had no business taking as a recovering addict.
  It did not take long for my tolerance to build up till I was taking up to 24 50mg tablets a day.I knew I was in danger of losing everything i had gained in sobriety.I also knew that I could overdose and die or have seizures with the amount I was taking.
  When I tried to quit taking the tramadol I went through the worst withdrawals I've ever been through.It's like the flu from hell,much worse than trying to kick xanax ,valium or any other narcotic.the psychological aspects are horrible.I've been a emotional basket case.crying one minute then breaking into a fit of furious anger the next.Or just unable to even function at any emotional level at all.I am so glad to have the answers I've found here because I really thought I was going crazy.I'm at day 6 cold turkey,I'm in pain but I know now it's just the withdrawals.
Even the clenching of my jaw was more than likely just a symptom of the withdrawals from the percocet and vicodan I was taking after surgery.Then the doctors give me tramadol for that pain,and the whole problem just gets worse.
I tried tapering down before but I'm sure I did it too fast.I ended up getting a refill after about 10 days.I agree that this drug stays in your system for a long time and that the withdrawals are very random.the first 5 days were the worst,but I found the body aches were still around at the 10 day mark,which was part of the reason I gave in last time and got the refill.I know now if I can tough it out,it will go away eventually. I was on the phone to the pharmacy yesterday when I found this post,and I know It saved me making the same mistake again.Knowledge is power and the truth will set you free! I agree with the home detox link info,but I also feel a lot of prayer,and good support group such as N/A can really help.I know it was a God thing that I found this site yesterday,If the pharmacy had not put me on hold and a friend from N/A had not called I would not have googled tramadol withdrawal yesterday.And would be starting the whole viscous cycle all over again.
  thank you emily and god bless you

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by 2Sue, Apr 02, 2009
Hi day 4 for me, symptoms less, pain less (day two I was in agony). My mind is clearer to make decisions, but memory not very good. took a df118 at work and it was a mistake cause it spaced me out for a fw hours. but got a full day in then went shopping. Hope its almost out my system. i dont wnt a tram  at all.

Dylan remember when tapering the per cent rule, 25 -12 is stll 50 per cent of drug. Like going from 200 -100 still a big jump so do it your way if thats what works. good look..As for your family concerns.Do you hav a social worker ,they may be able to make sure you are getting all the financial help you may be entitled to and support with your husband. I think tram does intensify your emotions whether that be sad, anger depression etc.( my kids will testify to that poor lambs are keeping out of my way lol).Im glad you have found some support.all the best.

Annie hope you are alright, you are going through a bad time, take it easy on yourself, give youself time you cant do everything,you have kicked tram before.just do it straight away before you get too hooked. find some other source of support, can you speak to doctor,bereavement counsellor etc.
sue

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by 2Sue, Apr 02, 2009
forgot to say emily are you ok, Hope you have someone looking after you in your pain and hope its subsiding.

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by Ellie321, Apr 02, 2009
Hello everyone,
Just checking in. I went to my doc today. Someone else was on call. I went there, told him that I was withdrawing from Tramidol and needed information on how to withdraw. He explained I could do it 3 ways. 1) I could go back on Tramidol and taper off of it slowly (That just ISNT an option). 2) I could begin a low dose regimen of Ativan, tapering off slowly, completely off in two weeks. 3) I could go ct. Negatory to 1 and 3. So Ativan it is. He is giving me 1mg 3x day. I have to call him tomorrow to make sure the dosage is ok (maybe more to make sure we are successful?) and then I will be in control of titrating down. I feel that is the best option since I dont want any of this "stuff" anyway.

Interesting. He knew all about the Tramidol withdrawal. Restless leg, sleeplessness, anxiety, flu. He was very sympathetic. Very supportive. And I am very grateful. All of this just goes to show....I dont want anything to interfere with my clear mind. I have come to enjoy having clarity and a lack of chaos in my life. No way, do I ever want to go back to that world.

Love you guys,
Headed toward Freedom
Ellie

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by Michael524, Apr 02, 2009
Hi everyone!

I stumbled upon this site from google tonight.  I wanted to see if there were others out there that are fighting this battle.  Been on Tram off and on for 12 years now and during the last 4 years, been taking it daily.  Wasn't taking a huge amount but I was still hooked none the less.  It was rather easy to get the stuff since I was writing my own Rx for it. No it was not legal and I feel terrible about it, but when you are hooked like us, we do what we do to survive.  

I finally decided to quit for several different reasons.  For one, I am 100% convinced that taking this drug has lowered my testosterone.  If some of you men that are hooked on this stuff and are feeling lethargic, low libido, ED problems,  then I would encourage you to do a little research about synthetic opiates and their effects on Testosterone levels.

My other reason to stop this terrible drug?  My family.  Tired of lying to my wife.  Tired of looking at my kids and see the years wasted that I did not spend time with them.  This drug lies to you.  It tells you "Hey take another pill so that you can just deal with family problems, it will give you more courage, it will help you take charge" but in reality, it makes you too tired to spend time with your family and play with your kids.  This was the main reason I am stopping for good.

I tapered off the Tram over the past 2 weeks and now I am on day 3 of being completely free for the first time in years.  Body aches,  electric joltz,  anxiety are what I am all about now.  I do have some xanax which I am being very careful with.  I hear xanax is even worse to get off of,  so I am only taking .25mg at night to help me sleep.  I will be doing the Thomas Recipe (look it up  if you are not sure what it is) this Saturday.  Why start 5 days after I stopped Tram?  Because I didn't trust myself.  I had a time period and my mind was putting off ordering the required Recipe so much that I waited to order the supplements after I quit.  

I will come here and post my journey.  Good luck to all of you out there.  And to those that are still deciding IF they can actually do this?  It is possible,  you just have to be brave and say enough is enough.  Take hold of your own life and DO NOT trust yourself with the **** "I will just start getting off next week".  If you normally take 2 pills before bed,  just cut out 1/2 of one.  Pretend  you are taking 2, yes it may seem weird, but folks,  this drug is like a demon and you can't trust yourself at first,  but you will... you will!

Thanks everyone for the support and I will also support you!

Living for today,
Michael


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by Ellie321, Apr 02, 2009
I am interested in knowing how this is going to work. I wont ever take another tramidol again. I will be weening myself off using ativan. As long as it can keep from that terrible bone ache and weakness. It has been 8 days since I took a tramidol. The muscles and bones have all of my attention. And then I shake, like my whole core is shaking. I dont want to replace one demon with another. The doc told me to take it if I need it, but to try to put it off. Thats my plan.We will see.
April is going to be a long month.
Ellie

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by emergee, Apr 02, 2009
i have discovered something for the long term energy blahs that tramadol creates sometimes.     isocort.   it has some adrenal cortex in it.  those of you who don't recover your energy within a month or so may want to check this out.  

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by AnnieNYC, Apr 02, 2009
Hi all,

I hope you are all doing well. I am so grateful to be able to come here, and I'm praying for success and good health for everyone here.

Last night while trying to fall asleep it occurred to me that I could probably scam my doctor for some vicodin to help me over the next few days. I made a mistake in counting on my pharmacy to deliver my tramadol on time, and I was just coming off the trams too fast. I was taking sooooo very much, and I was scared to go cold turkey. So I'm not proud, but I did get enough vicodin to get through the weekend and beyond. So I can taper a bit better. When the tramadol shipment comes from the pharmacy, I will decline it. It's still going to be a rough ride, but I'm not buying any more of that stuff. I honestly feel it was an intervention from God that prevented that delivery on time, forcing me to get the heck off this stuff.

Michael, I've heard other men say the same thing about the effect of tramadol on libido. It's terrible stuff! It also blows my mind how people can be at a very low dose and still experience really significant withdrawal. In my experience (which unfortunately is significant), tramadol is way more dangerous than oxycontin or vicodin or darvocet or codeine or any other little pills that make you happy temporarily. More effects while you're on it, and a harder time getting off it.

I know a lot of people get hooked on tramadol because they're given it for pain and told not to worry...it's such a nice little benign drug. I actually started using (abusing) opiates to deal with depression. Of course opiates make depression worse over time. I've had success with SSRIs since then, but I've certainly remained an addict.

I'm just puzzling now over my addict mindset, which told me--in the face of all evidence I've ever had over the past 10 years--that I could take just a few pills and then put them down. I can never do that. I start, and it's the whole bottle. I have never been any other way. I know this. So why this stupid impulse? I truly hope that I have learned my lesson. This stuff doesn't help pain...it just makes it worse!

Hope everyone has a good night.

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by ScottRbrained, Apr 03, 2009
Hey everyone.     Sorry I have not posted lately. I have been back to my 12 hour work shifts.  I am now on day 16 COLD TURKEY!   Work seems to help me sleep.  Now that I have a few days off ...I CAN"T SLEEP AGAIN.......very agrivating!  Oh well, gotta take some bad with the good.  My other withdrawal symptoms have almost gone away now.  I am getting alot of good results from being off of Scamadol.  Great apetite......feels good to enjoy food again!   I feel like laughing when I laugh instead of just acting like I want to.  I realized that Tramadol took away my ability to enjoy life.  I took it for only a year. I could have lost more time. I feel so horribly sad for all of you who are going through this and have lost WAY more than I have. I sincerely hope that ALL of you can get off of this horrible drug.  I wish that I could be right next to every ONE of you and give you a big healing hug!               Do not give up people!        Scott.

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by FinallyFred, Apr 03, 2009
franken,  Coincidences are grand aren't they?  You said, "I was on the phone to the pharmacy yesterday when I found this post,and I know It saved me making the same mistake again.Knowledge is power and the truth will set you free! I agree with the home detox link info,but I also feel a lot of prayer,and good support group such as N/A can really help.I know it was a God thing that I found this site yesterday,If the pharmacy had not put me on hold and a friend from N/A had not called I would not have googled tramadol withdrawal yesterday.And would be starting the whole viscous cycle all over again."  

Coincidences like that must be minor miracles in which our higher power simply decides to remain anonymous.    What a wonderful story you shared.

I had a similar experience at a critical moment in my tram history.  I had "sort of" decided that I needed to do something about my tram problem. Did you hear the RESOLVE there?  (not so much?)   I had found this site a week before, but I still had a weeks worth of pills.   And while I had never ordered online before, my googling of "tramadol withdrawal" revealed I could buy these trams there.  (Fred is a little slow on the uptake sometimes.)  So my best thinking went something like, "yes, I intend to taper now, but just in case it doesn't work out, I should have A MOTHER LOAD of pills on hand so I won't need to withdraw at the end of future RX cycles." ...just in case this withdrawal thing isn't working out.  In what I considered to be a flash of brilliance at the time, I figured out the solution to my tram problem...I just didn't have enough pills on hand all the time.  Like I said, my best thinking wasn't helping things much at that point.

So I filled out my first online order and toggled back to this site.  And I began to seriously believe that I could do this thing.  I must admit, I was filled with a tad bit of guilt over placing that order, but as I was signing off my PC, I noticed that I had a message from "demonpills.com" or whatever, telling me that I had omitting some vital bit of information when I had placed my order...um...like my debit card account number (!).    I did a great many  stupid things while in the tramafog.  Reckless, mindnumbing, forgetful stuff.  It's a miracle that I didn't_____________________(fill in the blank).

So I fought off multiple emails and phone calls for the next week from "demonpills.com" as I set out on my tramfree new life.   If the truth were told, the tenacity of those bastards probably fueled my resolve to quit.  The fact that I accidentally left off my account # OFF my first ever online order, was a coincidence that came at a pivital moment in time for me too.  So yes, franken, I too am a big believer in the power of coincidences at the right time...minor miracles if you will.

Which makes the point for how fragile sobriety REALLY is.  

Which makes the point for how darned grateful I am to be tradadol free today.  Grateful boadering on over the top zealous grateful.  So much so that today, I decided to take another shot at being the anti-tramadol apologist with someone I love dearly, who is still taking this stuff.  I know others here have had the same unproductive talks with people you know who are still taking this stuff.   Wooden ears!  Denial.  Not a problem for me, says she.  GRRRRRR.    If partial strangulation were legal...

I'm not sure what the mathmatical chances are that any one tramadol user comes to the point where they realize this demon drug is harmful; and then gets and stays off this demon drug.  There must be BAZILLIONS of tram users world wide.  

Today marks 120 days off this drug,  but I feel neither proud nor immuine from the powers of this drug today.  Just grateful to have had 24 hours in which I didn't need to take the RAT POISON.  Yep, the non-addictive, safe analgesic, but don't get me started pill.

Rhetorical Question:  Exactly what is it that must click for a person like me to see the light and escape the hold of this drug?  

Must we simply suffer sufficiently?  Nope, I suffered plenty during the six years I took this crappola.

Must we WANT to quit bad enough?  Not so sure on that one anymore either/  I've seen a whole lot of people post here who say that they want to quit, but are unable to do so.

Here's what I think:  

I think a whole lot of stars need to line up just right.  

I think we must have a moment of clarity, when we see the addiction for what it is, without excuses filtering our vision.  

I think we need to come to the point, where we are sick and tired of being ruled by a drug we have demonstrated we have absolutely no power to control.  

I think that we each must come to believe that there is a way out.  We must have hope.  This site and people like madtram, emergee, Emily, and others  who were posting when I arrived - gave me that hope.

I recall asking Emily during my first week or two here, whether she thought the "most important moment" in her recovery was that first day.  She surprised me, but I liked what she said.  (go back to Day 45 for her exact response), but it was something like, "the  most important moment for me, was when I looked in my pill drawer and realized that I didn't have to take these things any longer".     (EM, feel free to edit if I misquoted you)   Powerful stuff.

And even with all that, for me to beat this addiction, I had to make beating this thing the most important thing in my life for a week or so.  Casually adding this to my "to do" list that first week of December wouldn't have enabled me to beat this thing.  

It seems silly to talk about it in these terms, because clearly, most of us actually have so many other MORE IMPORTANT THINGS in our lives.  Jobs, families, friends, "stuff", activities, etc.  But for me, none of these other things were as imporant to me as beating this addiction.  Even with HOPE, with all the stars lining up, with that moment of clarity; until I made beating this addiction the most important thing in my life that week and until I saw myself in a WAR, it wouldn't have been possible for this tramadol warrior to beat this BS.

My abiding emotion as I sit her tonight, is one of graditude.  Because even though I have strung together a few 24 hours off this stuff,  there is really nothing I did to get to deserve this.  In the grand scheme of things, there were a whole lot of small coincidences, or minor miracles if you will, that allowed me to step off the tram-a-train and stay off it's tracks.  For that, I AM GRATEFUL.

Courage and Strength to you all,

Fred


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by FinallyFred, Apr 03, 2009
Scott,  Congratulations on 16 days freedom from this drug.  Your post was very encouraging.  Continued best wishes and keep stopping back.  

Fred.

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by travelingmom, Apr 03, 2009
Day 6 from withdrawing from this and I slept okay last night.  I am very sore after having a massage yesterday.  I was told it would help me detox, so late in the day I had a massage and steam, and today.  I hurt in more places but it makes me believe I did release some toxins!  (A good Pain!)
I have a friend in town for the weekend so she'll be a good distraction from these symptoms.  I am finding the busier I am the less I can dwell and notice them.  Pushing through, pushing through.  
I also just got my appetite back!  I ate more yesterday than I was eating daily and it all TASTED great!  Feeling a rumble is a good feeling.  Smelling food and WANTING it is a good thing.  I am encouraged by this.



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by 2Sue, Apr 03, 2009
Day 5  off the tram, but cant get post op pain under control.went to docs who when we talked through every analgesia, decided on codeine with paracetamol. its not so effective. I feel really tearful and struggling to get thru day.Sitting wanting to go out but cant pluck up strentgh.partner cant get off work, mam not well.  little one playing but have 5 kids coming from school.not all mine wanting to go swimming.Im hoping this is just because its early days off tram. cant wait for bedtime.

There has been lots of suggestions about food helping, protein, vitamins etc..I had a reaction (spaced out) after going on prozac for depression  following death of dad.My mam was horrified by my reaction and obvious sensitivity to it.She found a book called potatoes not prozac. It was written for alcoholics, to control a sugar sensitivity they may have, hence the need for alcohol.It is everyday good food diet based and makes complete sense.Itr also explains why sugar sensitive people may react more to certain drugs, ie prozac..I now see myself as sugar sensitive and control my diet,yes more protein,,,I think this is also y ive reacted as i have to tram...but y i have had less symptoms than a lot of you here.
It is a book worth reading for any addict of any substance. Depression can also be caused or a Symptom of  sugar.
Sue

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by yellowlabmom, Apr 03, 2009
Hi all,

Wow, so many people here now!  This network of support is such a huge blessing!!

Hang in there, everyone.  I believe all of you can find freedom from this drug.  I am 9 days CT and feeling great.  Sleeping, eating, sweating less, less anxious.  I have a slight headache and muscle pain, but it feels like the pain I used to have and not the flu-like pain I've had more recently.  Digestively I'm not as good, but I think my body is trying to help things along.  I'm also off Naproxin, so what pain I feel is REAL pain, and it's not enough to justify taking anything.  Keep in mind that I'm just 2 weeks post-discectomy, and I am expected to be taking pain meds now.

I'm hoping that folks like us can be of service to others in the future, because I predict a great surge of use... a drug that makes you feel happy/stable, lets you sleep, curbs your appetite, decreases pain, but doesn't make you feel "drugged" has got to be appealing to people with issues not relating to pain.  I can only imagine how this drug will be prescribed in the future, and how many people will suffer as a result.

Prayers to all... I'll stop in with an update in a week or so.  Hope all of you find a reason to smile today :)

  

  

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by noodlegrl, Apr 03, 2009
Morning all,

Sounds like everyone is still doing pretty darn good! Dylan, I am sorry you aren't feeling very good and coming here isn't helping. I understand that feeling as well. Some days it helps more than others. Some days I feel like a hypochondriac coming and reading the horror. But overall, it seems to help more than most things. I feel I will soon have to phase out though, unfortunately, lest I keep myself worried and paranoid all the time. I hope things get better for you.

Fred - you have a cool way of looking at things and analyzing :)

2Sue - I am also *trying* to cut out the sugars and things, so far the last couple of days I have only had 1 sip of mello yello, 1 gulp of Pepsi, my morning 1 cup of coffee. Wow, now that I type it out it seems like more than I thought. But for me, that is really not bad considering it used to be at least 2 cups of coffee and then cokes and sweet tea or whatever the rest of the day! I have done a whole lot better with the water than I thought I could. But my sense of thirst hasn't come back yet, so... I am lucky to get 1-2 bottles down but that's a lot for me. I don't think I am getting enough protein but still having problems with appetite - nothing sounds good, especially anything fatty ((gag)). And everyone is trying to throw fatty things at me because my arms have gotten so thin, you can see my ribs... very strange...

I actually got to leave work about 2.25 hours early yesterday due to bad weather. But it took an hour to get home because of traffic and the craziness at the school (had to pick kids up early). When I got home, I did one load of laundry and a load of dishes, then ate some cheese and crackers and relaxed for about 30 minutes while watching the news. We ended up going to a safer place for a little while. Nothing bad happened at our house though, thank you Lord! But while we were gone, I had another one of those weird couldn't feel anything attacks. I think *maybe* it was because I was very stressed? I dunno. I really can't stand that feeling though... it makes me think horrible thoughts. Maybe partially Suicidal Ideation?

The last few nights, I haven't been taking anything for sleep because I have a fear I might not wake up. Its taking longer to get to sleep and I am waking up around 4-4:30 every morning and having to go to the couch because I keep tossing and turning. This morning when I woke up, I did not at first feel any anxiety (yay!) but of course I kept thinking it was going to hit me at any second (I HAVE GOT TO FIGURE OUT SOME WAY TO CONTROL THAT). Well, I could feel it start to build and then I would start breathing and saying things to myself like "you are ok, you are fine, just breathe". This worked for a minute and then BAM! Just like usual it all hit me at once, but it didn't last tooooo long. It kinda alternated from anxiety to numb, anxiety to numb... I am so glad its Friday and that is helping me to stay more positive today. All these up and downs are exhausting me. My show comes on tonight so I am hoping for a nice, calm, relaxing evening vegging in front of the TV as I am losing strength to get much of anything accomplished.. I felt SOOO drained when I got home last night after the storms. Hubby probably wondering how much longer I am going to be this way. I feel unworthy being this way. Tram-speak? Maybe.

Here's to everyone having the best possible Friday possible! Good luck! You all are in my thoughts and prayers! I am so proud of you guys, keep it up!

(((Hugs to all!)))

~Noodle



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by noodlegrl, Apr 03, 2009
Meant to say btw... today is day 9 Tram Free! :)

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by Ellie321, Apr 03, 2009
Dear yellow and all,
You make an interesting point. I was initially prescribed tram for headaches I was getting after leaving the hospital while they were looking for the source of my dizzy, lightheadedness, and weakness. When started taking tthe tramidol is was to replace a very potent painkiller, norco. So tram seemed so much more benign.$ After taking the tram, I realized it helped me feel better with the dizziness and weakness and I figured this drug could keep me at work. So even thoough I knew I shouldnt be taking anything because of my history of abuse, I figured i was safe, and besides, i have bills to pay, everyone from my boss to my husband expects me to work. So I took them. 6 mos later, they still havent found the source of my dizziness and I was scheduled to see a specialist at Stanford. So I thought, well I want to be better. I want to stop taking these pills. These pills are not what I want for my life. So I (this would be funny if it wasnt so tragic) stopped taking the pills. Took 3 on Monday, 2 on Tuesday, then 1 on Weds. I think on Friday and Saturday each I took 2.5 vicodins each day. Sunday I took 3 because I felt more comfortable abusing them on sunday because I didnt have freinds nearby. So on MOnday, I had nothing....NOTHING. SAme Tuesday. Monday is when I noticed the bad flu feelings in my muscles. Tuesday it went to my bones. Wed drove me nuts and I finally took enough vicodin on wed eve to create a feeling of comfort. Thursday I went to a doctor who was very understanding. He put me on ativan. Wow, slept good last night. So I will be using the ativan to help me through the withdrawal effects of tramidol

I am hurt because I love my sobriety. Its the best thing in the world I have ever had. I didnt lose my spirituality during the time I took the tramidol. For me, a spiritual way of life is the ONLY choice. I absolutely have to find a spiritual solution to my problems. Which is why this place is so great, because I can share all of my thoughts and pain with you and in return feel  comforted and not alone. I refuse to go back to a lifestyle that brought so much grief and lonliness and hurt. I reject that. My life is present and I want to live it. ANd I dont want to live it under the influence of any drug.

I made what turned out to be a bad choice. But I have learned enough about living to reject beating myself or anyone else up about it. Life is too short, believe me. Its just not important enough to me to beat my self up over a mistake. Getting off the pills is absolutely incredibly important so that I can have all of the health and wellness and living that I want. I wont miss those pills because there is too much living to do.
Ellie

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by Michael524, Apr 03, 2009
Sounds like most of you are onto a decent start.  Fred, you speak the truth in so many ways.  Minor miracles are what we all need and believe it or not,  we are getting them each day. Even those that come here that are still taking this terrible drug.  You know the pharmacist that just told you that you need to wait another day to get your refill?  You know that day you have to wait til you get paid to get your drug refilled online?  Thats a miracle knocking on your door people.  You just have to recognize it and let it in.  

To Annie,  thank you for reading my post and posting your approval that this terrible drug does cause decreased libido in men.  I don't believe that all men will fell this way.  Because I did not start to get this until much later when I increased my use of Tram.  I use to push the weights nicely in the gym, I had "Ok" energy.  But when I started to increase the use,  I noticed a sharp decline in my strength and endurance at the gym and not to mention the bedroom.

Yes Annie, I too was taking it for depression.  When I took the drug I felt happy.  I would even break them into 1/2 and put several in my pocket.  That way I could take a 1/2 every 2 hours and I had a nice steady stream of happy in my pocket.  It got me through the day in a speedy progress.  How many of you got up in the morning took your "happy" pill, got to work,  took maybe another "happy" pill and before you knew it, it was almost lunch.  Take another! why not!  before you knew it, it was 5pm and time to go home!  Rejoice!  But, But.... what happened to the day?  Seriously, this drug will literally make you coast through the day on cruise control.  Like that movie Click with Adam Sandler.  You know the part in the movie where he is on cruise control and getting through tasks that he doesn't want to have to deal with?   Well instead of a remote control we just have this wonderful drug Tramadol!  /sarcasm off

To Travelingmom, hang in there.  The soreness I can definitely understand what you are going through.  Hot bathes and message will definitely help.  I would encourage you to stretch really good before and after message as it help with lactic acid in the muscles.  After another week, try and get some light weights and stretch with those as well.  You muscles need the pulling and the soreness you feel after message will be alot better.  

To Scott,  totally agree with ya bud.  Tram basically makes you feel like you "can" smile at people.  It takes away your ability to actually enjoy life.  I knew I had a problem years ago, but I didn't want to suffer with withdraw and feel lowsy and I mean, who in their right mind would want to suffer?  Well I guess those of us that remember what it was like before we found this terrible drug.  I remember when my son who has CF (Cystic Fibrosis) got his once and a lifetime trip for Make a wish to go to Disney World.  I stayed off the Tram for about a day before going because I wanted to "remember" the trip and not forget this event that was so special to my 10 year old son.  Well, half way through the trip I started to feel down and my family noticed that I wasn't as "happy" as I usually was.  So not to disappoint, I took took my faithful friend into my mouth and went through the motions of the trip.  Sure I was happy for my kids which I am sure they appreciated. But you know what,  I can't get those memories back.  It was as if it wasn't me that did all that with my kids.  Once again I gave into weakness.......

I am on Day 4 and I am feeling better than I have had in a long time.  The eclectic joltz are still hitting me every now and then.  Sleeping a bit better since I am taking .25mg of Xanax.  I think I am really going to do this now.  I have too many people know now that I was addicted to Tramadol and the past times It was just me by myself trying to get off this stuff.  Now my wife knows, my doctor know, and 2 coworkers know as I finally confided in them.  I think there is power in numbers folks.  Go tell on yourself to your closest friends.  If they are real friends they will help you be accountable.

Living for today,
Michael

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by Michael524, Apr 03, 2009
I try not to post right after myself but Ellie made a really good point.  Ellie are a true inspiration. You evidently know what its like to live the in the Tram world and now to live in the real world.  Meaning that we all have real life problems (bills, sickness, work, family etc.) that we have to deal with.  Who wants to go through life feeling numb and just going through the motions?  We have to live life for today and not beat ourselves up over stupid mistakes that we made.  

We have one life to live and its going to be awesome!

Thanks for the positive thread Ellie.  I am gonna go out in the backyard and play football with my kids for the first time in a very long, long time.  

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by 2Sue, Apr 03, 2009
Noodlegirl, I find putting straight lavendar oil on my clothes pillows, tissue etc, helps with anxiety, I used to get anxiety attacks,,this was all that calmed me and still does.or burn it around the house.

Michael, ive had decreased energy for six months,cant believe and didnt realise that tram was causing my listlessness til i stopped it this week. I am now going swimming with my kids.I wouldnt have even considered it last week.

I wish, wish, wish, someone had warned me months ago about this drug, I would have recovered from my operation a hell of a lot quicker mentally and physically. Ive been living under a cloud.My poor partner and kids have suffered needlessly and im soooo cross.
Thanks for all your support.

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by noodlegrl, Apr 03, 2009
Where would I get some lavender oil? I actually sprayed my clothes with my husbands cologne this morning because his scent is one of my favorite smells, makes me feel he's close! I have also slept with one of his shirts wrapped around my pillow lol. I would like to try lavender also.

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by Ellie321, Apr 03, 2009
great conversation...hot showers, baths, massages, lavendar oils...all of the things I find comforting..good music, loving friends and family...

we will all be ok...no more badness!

I took one of the ativans this morning and it is knocking me out. No more ativans I guess. Cant handle that. I need to be clear so I can participate in my life. Guess I will try tapering on the darvocets instead. 4/day this week, 3 day next week. 2 a day the following week, then 1 a day. Maybe there will be a point where I can move off these pills faster. I wont take them unless absolutely needed. But if they are, I will.

Not into the suffering any more. Barring any suffering this next plan causes me, I will be ok. If this method of retreat brings up problems, I will deal with them then. I am a little worried about it though because the tram and darvocet seem to work in similar ways and I want to make my own body stronger and better able to produce the hormones needed, so that I wont get sick and by taking the darv, I think I am delaying that. I really was hoping to bypass the whole system that creates the flu symptoms, and get something to treat those symptoms, but the ativan doesnt do it and I cant stand being in a fog.

Thoughts?
Ellie

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by EmilyPost, Apr 03, 2009
I'm going to be brave and go get a massage. Yesterday was so so bad, I kinda thought I was about to need to go to an ER. I thought I had the flu, and combined with withdrawal from a Benzo I was in a very bad way. I actually stood up, and walked outta work, early. Without really alot of explaining because occasionally, I sorta lose the ability to speak articulately.

Sweaty, not sweaty enough. Body feels like it's going into shock and then it feels lie nothing is real. The dizziness and spinning sensation is ok unless it travels with anxiety. Then, it's not good. Have used Propananol to help with the rapidly cycling anxiety, blood pressure, heart racing symptoms. As long as I don't take too much, it's ok.

I'm so so so tired of being sweaty and exhausted. There's this point where I think, "I can't take this anymore." Then I realize that NOTHING can be done for me, except distraction and letting time pass. Time... just Time ... Time. Tick Toc.

I have huge amounts of heat radiating out of my body. My hands boil and then freeze. I'm at work and may be able to leave an hour early. So, either massage or home.  

So one thing I noticed is that the symptoms are 100% Transient and unpredictable. My neck can hurt so badly that I can barely move my head, and the next morning I can wake up with no neck pain at all. It's ... creepy. Also I noticed while i was getting a massage that it felt almost like the muscles wouldn't relax because the tension is coming from being klonopin poisoned. Almost as if it's purely chemical? Does that even make any sense?

Welcome everyone new and it'll be ok ... I survived Tramadol withdrawal and have no ill side effects left ... you will too!


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by Dylan465, Apr 03, 2009
Thanks for the support :)
Ativan for your info is a terrible drug. Don't do it. I was on it and getting off I felt like I was having steroid rages. That was my experience. I guess everyone is different. Just like on here, different reactions. I'm surprised no one told u that.

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by Ellie321, Apr 03, 2009
Yeah, I dont think I will be taking any more of that. I totally wiped me out. I just want to feel NORMAL!!!

Thanks for the heads up
Ellie

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by KC67, Apr 03, 2009
Emily,
I feel your pain.  I took another cut of my xanax this week and if I hadn't done so much research, I would swear I was going crazy.  

I'm with you...I too am experiencing the sweaty/dry and freezing/hot phenomena - along with the INTENSE anxiety and heart palpitations.  Then today I was hit with a whopping dose of depression.  I called a close friend to "cry on her shoulder" and she told me that if I hadn't sent her copies of all the research material on benzo withdrawal that she would be "really concerned for me".  

Just as with Tram. withdrawal, I am finding that I need DAILY reassurance that what I am experiencing is normal.  Emily, I am so sorry you are going through all of the horrible withdrawal effects, but it validates everything that I am experiencing right now.  We are not crazy and you are right....we just need time.

To all of you Tram warriors, today is day 54 - cold turkey for me.  

You can do it!  

All of your withdrawal symptoms are normal - from anxiety, shortness of breath, depression, insomnia, to RLS, decreased AND increased appetite - all of it is NORMAL and it DOES get better.  Time is what we ALL need.  Time to heal and time to restore our body chemistry to what it once was before these drugs.

May we all experience a restful weekend of peace and serenity,
KC

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by Ellie321, Apr 03, 2009
Thanks Dylan,
I am getting very discouraged. I just want to feel better. I dont want to be addicted to anything! Isnt there any way of weaning off of this crazy drug trap? I cant believe I am in this mess. Getting really angry now. Getting a bunch of **** from my AA sponsor. She better just back the heck off.  I want off this stuff more than anybody else wants me off this stuff. Sponsor doesnt feel I should try to wean off. And she is a nurse practioner!  Ignorant people shouldnt be allowed to have opinions.

Has anyone out there been able to successfully wean off this drug but taking a different drug ie no ct? I dont want anymore tramidol. I dont want any ativan. I just want to  be myself again. I guees I will definitely think twice the next time I have to take something for an extended period of time.

Ellie

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by madtram, Apr 03, 2009
Ellie, have you tried any of the Thomas recipe suggestions? They are mostly  natural remedies so much more subtle than pharmaceuticals but they help many.  L theanine can help with anxiety if u take frequent doses.  I find 12 g per day of inositol very helpful for mood & energy & 5g of DPA helps with pain as it boosts the body's natural production of endorphins.

None of these things have significant side effects & the Thomas recipe has been used by many withdrawing from opiates.

The Clonidine, (not to be confused with Klonopin), is a blood pressure med which seems to help with the aching & body tension.  I have seen many good reports about it.

Everyone responds differently but with a little self experimentation, you may find you can alleviate your suffering without other side effects.

Strength to all battlers,

M







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by 2Sue, Apr 04, 2009
Noodle lavendar oil can be got from supermarkets and health shops (if ur in England). U only need 3-4 drops on your collar.I carry it with me and put it on either first thing or when i feel im getting anxious.  Dont put it straight on skin, it can irritate.It can be diluted in a oil burner.

Ellie I weaned off tram without substituting it with another drug.I weaned very slowly.took two months from 200mg 4 hourly.

Emily and others, I cant share your experience of coming off other drugs, but wow,,i admire your courage and strentgh and perseverence. Keep going however hard your day may be tomorrows always another day and may just be better.

Dylan glad you have kept with us.

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by bodegirl, Apr 04, 2009
Hi everyone,
It's day 35 and I am feeling better.  There is hope.  I am still struggling with lack of energy, but it is slowly coming back.  My withdrawal took place at the same time I was pregnant and I swear, I will never put myself through that again.  Exercise is so important.  It's hard to get up and do it, but I just force myself to walk and now I am slowly running again.  My dogs are thrilled to have me back!  So are my kids and husband-I am a different person(for the better) off trams.  I used to only eat once a day and was down to a dangerous weight because I was never hungry pushing my body to it's limits.  Now I am eating 3 or 4 times a day and actually enjoy it.  It's a good feeling.  I'm determined to get fit and healthy as I once was.  I may even try yoga(emily, would love to try the bikram(sp?)yoga that you do).  I am struggling with some depression, but considering what I have just been through, I guess it's normal.  My husband has been wonderful and says it's a great opportunity to continue to get healthy again and then try again.  There is always hope.  There is hope for everyone here.

Emily and KC, I'm sure withdrawals from benzo's are terrible.  It's crazy how drugs effect our bodies and brains.  But remember how it was coming off of tram?  It was awful, but you both did it and succeeded.  Hang in there, you can do this.

Everyone, I'm thinking of you.  You're doing great!  All your w/d symptoms will subside eventually.  Some may take a month, some may take 2 or 3 weeks, but they will go away and you will start to feel good again.  You will become yourselves once again.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

:-) bodegirl

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by 2Sue, Apr 05, 2009
Hi day 7 for me, should i be over tram now.  im ratty, very sleepy (but cant cause i have to look after the family). and just feel weird.. Could someone explain what brain zaps are please.
im now on codeine for pain and dont know whether it is them causing me probs or the tram...I have to take something for pain still.
sue

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by EmilyPost, Apr 05, 2009
This thread is CLOSED

Please move to

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/77252

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