Ok..so I had a relapse ,I AM on day 21!!!

Ok the other day I had a relapse..1 time out of the 21 days. I am not going to throw in the towel because of it, nor am I going to let it take away from the fact that I have still spared my self over 200 pills in this time. I learned something from doing that...and I believe it was necessary for me to realize that I do not want to do it again..I will not let the turmoil and pain I am in right now in my own personal life be a cause for me to fail in this..I will not let the evil of this world take me away.No matter how much pain I have in my heart right now. I have been through some horrible things in my life but, what is going in with my beloved daughter.(..my first born,my first true love, ) (until Jesus.)Nothing has caused me as much heartache and suffering. I will be ok eventually. I will have to come to terms with this..I wish I could really convey the magnitude of what has happened, but I could never be able to here in a journal..I will be stronger because of this and I appreciate the many prayers from all of you..Thankyou so much..So I will say...SadinMichigan is on day 21 and will continue on to 23,24,25,etc,...I just wanted everyone to know..And now I am going to try to get some sleep before I end up in the hospital..which at this point is a real possibility.I have already lost at least 7 lbs in the past 2 weeks and can't really afford to lose more..I am going to be ok. Still heartbroken but ok..... I may be down..BUT I will not stay there...!!