May 04, 2013
Day 1 may4th
Today I start to write my journey to a clean life.
Where to start??? Hmmmmm well it has to be the beginning, I'm 37yrs young full of life even though drugs have stinted some life from me. I'm a gay man who met my ex at 18 he was a downer kinda guy where as I liked the party scene The nite my life started to go wrong was a saturday I went to a rave took acid and my ex ( ill call him T) gave me a temgesic to snort well as soon as that hut me I was on my journey to my own personal hell, I took tems for a few months then a friend introduced me to meth WAHA I thought 24hr buzz great haha then came that day I had none well I never knew a rattle like it ( little did I know it was just the start) I stopped for a few weeks the rattle was bad so I went back on tems But I just couldn't forget that feeling of meth so inevitable that I went back to the "friend" who was on a script and bought more £5 for 30ml of gogo juice in the end I was doing her housework for 10ml the worst feeling now looking back was knowing my life was in someone elses hands I had Never felt so bad turkeyskin sweats headaches the lot, then came kit (heroin) I smoked it to get off the meth (arse from elbow) soon though I had 2 habbits to feed I was never good at stealing so T used to go shoplifting then I'd do Things for money & I never cared just told myself I wouldve done them anyway. Soon got put on my own script by then I had discovered I was an opiate addict so for the next 10-15 yrs I just went to a chemist scored smoked or jagged my life away What made all this worse is that I never looked the sterotypical Junkie so I had to hide it from A lot of people I could never hold a job and my relationship was a complete joke & if it wasn't for my dog I'd have left ages ago ( I also nearly got killed my a well known killer) just so I couuld get a fix, I really did hate everything about myself but I was always like that anyway. So here I am today at 20ml from 50ml its took me 5months as I'm 5ml a month & getting ready to move onto the next stage of my recovery and to be honest the drug workers in my area don't give a flying Fck about me so I hope you all will be with me on my new journey thanx