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Dy!ng or Dead

Apr 03, 2009 - 1 comments
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Beev is dying of Lou Gerhig's disease.  It's hard on everyone but I can't imagine what it's like for her.  A couple weeks ago, I gave her a hug before I left and she cried afterwards.  She was emotional today and I got up and gave her a hug and told her I loved her.  Very loudly, R rudely said, "You're just making it worse."  (We ate lunch, so we were in a restaurant.)  I am not easily embarrassed, but I was irritated.  Even though I'm familiar with my "family's" behavior, it never fails to inquire "why"?  Why is R such a ragged edge?  Etc.  R is an R.  

Alex never called me yesterday and he was very distracted when I returned his missed call.  He lost his keys and then was talking to someone in the background and basically hung up on me.  A-hole.  I talk to people in the background sometimes, but I say, "hold on".  You know what this is?  This is the result of (what I call) The Sascha Effect.  

*I have a tendency to name things as their own entity*

I'm so sick of her.  She's getting in the way of Alex and I's friendship.  I'm not one to pull an ultimatum.  But he's starting to act like a jerk again and if this keeps up, I'm going to dump him until he gets his hit-say together.  (We're not dating.  By dump, I mean tell him to call me when he's figured out what he needs to to be a good friend again.)  

This has happened before.  He has become cold and uncouth.  He's not very much fun.  Plus he's incredibly annoying because he persists in knowing what every noise or notion you make means, when in reality, it means nothing.  If he wasn't a good friend, I'd choke him.  I grew up with R and D never listening to me.  They just kept asking the same, stupid and very irrelevant questions.  The only time I was able to squeeze some dialogue in was by swearing.  

Mehr is in Saudi, Ngoc/Adam/Tom are busy, and Alex is being a jerk.  I'm feeling very lonely.  And when it rains, it pours.  The only person I don't have to pay to spend time with (Kristen and De LA Cruz) is J and she's miles away.  Why is it that all my friends are long distance friends?  I wish I could teleport.  Or not intimidate people and be able to make friends.  

I think I'm going to watch a movie and force myself to eat something.  Then if I'm still awake, maybe try and figure out this stupid Elebits game.  I'm stuck on this one part and I can't find any resolution in available walk-throughs.  I bought some other game that I'd like to start playing but I can't do it until I finish this game.  I think I'm going to give up on my DS for a bit and go back to paper fill ins or paper (ugh) sudoku.  

Oh, yeah.  My necklace choked me while I slept so I have strangle marks ringing my throat.  7th grade, my English/Home Room teacher, Mr. Peters, saw the necklace's damage and he "jokingly" blamed Abby for trying to kill me.  What's funny about it is that I think he and everyone he announced it to knew it wasn't really a joke.  Mr. Peters is one of the many teachers I've had that says I corrupt good people.  

So it goes.

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by JPW19, Apr 05, 2009
I'm sorry Alex is being such a jerk. i know you want to hold on to his friendship b/c you feel lonely, but you deserev better than the way he is treating you.  Give yourself some space from him, he will come around sooner or later.
   Sorry I didn't call you back last night, I was exhausted, the dogs woke me up really early and were such a handful all day. Kobe is doing well in his classes. I visit my Dad today, and then run some errands. Mom wants to clean house today, so i will give you a call when we get done. Most like late afternoon or evening. But as always, if you need ANYTHING, you can call me anytime!  xoxoxo  ;>
J

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