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need support.

May 16, 2013 - 7 comments

I'm not gonna allow my ego stand n the way of my life and not reach out for help.

I've been having sum hard tines with my health (due to my addiction from ignoring the symptoms while I was getting high) on which I have to make a desicion on what to do n a month.one of those big life desicions. I'm watching a lady, which the program blessed me with, fighting for her life. Went to the hospital to c her today. It was hard. The Dr says her kidneys r starting to shut down. Watching her struggling for air is just heartbreaking. I haven't been working due to my health. I just realized when I filled up my gas tank I filled it up with the last dollar I had after checking my debit card.

Have I thought about a drink or drug? Absolutely!!! But I feel the pain I'm in and know just one sip or one line of something will intensify my pain by 100.  If I want to make things worst thats what I can do.

I have been in such a mental fog and can't think clearly at all. That's where people like u guys and my AA family come into play to think for me.

H. A. L. T.

Hungry...(no appetite)

Angry...maybe a lil towards myself.

Lonely...anytime I feel these hard emotions I feel lonely. I have my dog so I'm not physically lonely. Just lonely in my mind.

Tired...yes. all the time since I've been sick n this fog isn't helping things.


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by dominosarah, May 16, 2013
Come on girl, you fight with everything you have.  I know you have it in you.  Get some fresh air and get to a meeting.

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by ang_811, May 16, 2013
I always do. :)

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by dominosarah, May 16, 2013
You are going to be okay.  Can you do something for me??  Bkitty's husband is on her status right now. She od'd and is in intensive care.  He is so lost and upset right now and i have to head to work here shortly.  Could you watch this one for me?  I know you are feeling rotten too but i have faith in you little one........

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by ang_811, May 16, 2013
Yup no problem. Ty  Fran. Have a good night at work

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by dominosarah, May 16, 2013
You know i love you to the moon and back~

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by ang_811, May 16, 2013
I know. I always feel it. I love ya. I'm blesses to have u n my life.

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by ang_811, May 20, 2013
Joan is improving day by day. She's a strong lady. Her kidneys r also slowly getting better.

In having some problems with my surgery I had. I see my surgeon on Friday.

I have another problem. With everything going on I missed my physch drs appointment on Friday. That's the second one I missed. U can only miss two and the second one u miss u get kicked out. I take antidepressants for anxiety/depression. I'm gonna call then today n c what they say. I'm so worried about the withdeawls from those. They can't just kick u out and expect u to go cold turkey do they? I'm on prozac n welbutring combo.

My halt has gotten a lil better.

Blessed I have my dog. All I got to do is look n her eyes n I smile.


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