May 18, 2013
I know we are not that close and you prolly never read my journals and maybe would not even like them. but I just want to be sure that its ok to be writing this tonite. I know your sis just posted and u are resting and comfortable. I hope its ok.
I wish we could have corresponded that night.
you know kitty after I posted on that status I checked back 2x before I logged off and went to bed.
anyways I am sorry kitty I should have tried harder to get you to talk. im sorry. im so sorry kitty. im really so sorry.
so kitty u have a good night now ok?
& lots of love,
aww yeah well heres the haps with me medhelp. last night I went to a meeting with Nora. that is a nice meeting you know its a buncha overeducated ppl naw im just joshin its good smart ppl I likes em and ... one of the women looks like the girl Teri from desperate housewives teri hatched or something yeah you guessed it she is hot. like lick your index finger and make the sizzling sound kind of hot.
the meeting is all good anyways and theres this guy phil who is neat but he is um whats that girl oh yeah dees hub but he says a lot of cool things. he does not really look like he goes with dee but that's aite. I ain mad at them. and then it was johnnys seven years and he took a cake and you know what I like that kid. yeah hes a good public speaker very moving and powerful and it was right coolio.
then after a bunch of ppl oh yeah! I forgot to tell you member the super hot chick the girl with the cat eye glasses yeah her name Andie well her Hub spoke and speaking of cats he is the cats pjs. oh yes! he did the long speech at the beginning what is that called? im not sure. like the featured speaker or something yeah. and he is smart and funi and hip just like his wife. those two go together oh baby
and then after those cool smart ppl spoke they drag out this guy who is like a millin year old his name Murray? yeah well this guy not ony funny and smart as a whip he survived the camps! yes! so of course I was riveted and rillydog medhelp he was so captivating that like the room was silent the whole time he spoke you could hear a pin drop. then after he talk about a lot of stuff he tell this hilarious story about a time he gave heroin and speed to a dog when he was like 20. omg its awful cuz I am against like even catnip I think it is cruel but the way he told this story he had everyone rotfl yeah. it was a dope meeting
then after cuz Nora drive me? yeah. we goed home not Johnny cuz he rode his bike ... and then Nora idk what her dillio is but she go to the elevator when we get to our bldg. did I tell you this/ maybe. I don't think so. anyway um we got stuck in the gee dam elevator! yes. and it wasn't even like aerosmith cuz Nora I donut find attractive. it took them half a hour to get us out and it was ten at night by then. really nasty but ony we were on the first floor so it was aite.
then later I got back up to my apt and smoke a cig cuz I was freaked out being in the lelevator and I go downstairs after that to get cookies from the vending machine in the rec room (no S I am not trying to stop eating cookies good try tho) and um. who do I run into but the lelevator repair man! he is like idk 35 or so. I took the opportunity to learn about human psychological response when stuck in an elevator. he knew a lot about it, and wanted to talk about it, he said everyone gets claustrophobic when stuck in that manner. he talked a little too about how elevators work. it was really a nice way for me to get to know all of this stuff about elevators. oh yeah and he was really cute.
this morning La Chula came over early cuz we had a meeting for skule downtown. I made coffee and bought new milk for her now I have two barely started homo milks ... no not gay god! that Idk what to do with unless I eat macaroni and cheese for all my means til Wed.
Charlotte brought me a 2 plates, 2 glasses, 2 bowls, 2 knives, 2 forks and 2 spoons and I think some plastic silverware had appeared in my sink by later. most of it was melamine but that's fine and the glasses were real cuz I love to drink ice water though my grandpa who is long passed away said ice water is really bad for your stomach.
Charlotte and Roadkill live in his nana's house or something she has dementia and went into a like care center nursing home and now they have her condo and all her furnishings and dishes plus theirs. Charlotte said she did not tell Roadkill she brought the dishes. hm. would he really object? I guess. I told her just bring 2 of each cuz maybe I get my real stuff soon.
Charlotte and I know each other well she felt comfortable though she only been here one other time and she walked around and picked up the books im reading and such and examined things. we had coffee together and I drove to the meeting. it was nice being with her and talking. her brother is very sick and she talked abt that she is sad and feels helpless.
the meeting was pointless and later char got super fusstrated with this in the car drive home. but that's how meetings are my director is crazy. I know this. char got bent. I got to see let's call them Tacey and Tib the chix who I taught with when I worked downtown also several of my old students. I really like Tacey and Tib. Tib is the teacher I once described to you in detail shes very bright and super hot. today she was wearing this miniskirt I think it is one of the only pieces in her wardrobe and its super short and she looks so dope in it. but besides that I admire her and dig her as a person. yes!
I do. and um. Tacey is also quite smart and super cool and neat o. and later Charlotte told me she noticed again how much those gals like me and I had to say yes it is true. I mean its mutual. but I remember how great a rapport we had teaching together we just really clicked. and how when I came to the other campus they didn't want me to go and I thought maybe they was just yanking my chain but no. and I always feel like they really respect me and genuinely like me and having Char say she noticed that was really nice. Char was all awkward and shy like she gets she can be worse than I am that way and she said in the car on the way home 'I guess I didn't make any friends!' but she did ok.
Char quizzed me in detail about my diet and how much more weight I was planning to lose. she acts like I look like a Ethiopian refugee. I don't. when I told her like ten or fifteen more she was like 'ok, just fyi you said last week that you were going to lose eight more pounds.' I was like 'oh. did I. well that's cuz I didn't know how bad I would still look!' she was not happy. she asked me exactly what I ate and then I told her I generally don't dr oz it on the weekends and she said that made her feel better.
she went home. I went hiking and it was good. I said 'kitty' everywhere just like 'kitty kittykitty kitty' and I did a longer prayer like thing at the tree I climbed with Char that is such a great beautiful spot and I swear when the breeze was blowing there so gentle and sweet I felt that nature was telling me kitty is going to be ok. and I just kept saying 'god please help kitty' and I did another special prayer at the top most point near Mulholland. it was really a beautiful day to hike and I felt like nature was embracing kitty and foretelling good things.
I was tired when I got home. I stopped by the market and got chicken already roasted and I know potato salad see I do go off my diet and French bread and this omg Cake! red velvet. like they sell it by the slice it looked soooo good.
so I cheated on dr oz!
I did a bunch of chores at home I was very tired. I ate. I did not eat that much of any of the thing I bought except ... the cake! I ate it ALL medhelp! oh gah im going to heel!
I got into a argument the AC called me and wanted to know when he could bring the gee dam soup! I asked him about the contents some is coming next week and then we got into it. I was good tho. I did not get agitated and I remained calm and I felt that my bp did not go up or if not not that much. but after we hung up not nicely he startd to text me the litany of WHat A Horrible Wife You Were Meegy and you know medhelp after sum therapy and cik and assorted other support I was so sick of that spit and I wasn't having none of it!
he start to spew about how I dint cook enuf and I dint go see his dum friends with him and I dint appreciate him and blah blah blah blah blah and I type this
if that's what you tell yourself to feel better about how you've treated me these past several months, then keep telling yourself that. I hope it makes you happy and I sincerely mean that.
and I felt better after saying that. the whole exchange which while not pleasant, made me feel a lot more empowered then in the past
when I was hiking and thinking of kitty and how she is gonna heal and take back the right to be herself, and not be persecuted for it or anything she feels, well I thought Meegy you need to support yourself like that. and like, this good, fine, sweet person you are is being rejected wholly by the AC /. and that's sad. its sad for him, and its sad for me. but I gots to move on if he don't appreciate Meegy. cuz Meegy a really good fine person.
im going to bed soon kitty. you rest and be comfortable, I am thinking of you and praying for you! we love you kitty