Jun 04, 2013
The last few weeks of my methadone taper have been rough. Once I hit the 40mg point it just got harder from there. I thought I wouldn't make it and I wanted to give up about a hundred times. But I made it down to 34mg!!! It's not easy though. I don't know which is worse, the physical or emotional effects. I'm really struggling with depression right now. The mood swings are crazy and I'm finding myself not wanting to get up to do every day activities. But I keep telling myself this isn't forever and to take it a day at a time just like I did when I got off heroin to begin with. I'm just trying not to get sucked into the black hole of depression like I have in the past. I haven't felt this way in a very long time and it's scary. I think it was a little easier the first time around because I really had no responsibilities to worry about. I had lost everything to addiction so I had all the time in the world to take care of myself and not much else to worry about except staying clean. Now it's 4yrs later and I have a life, a family, a ton of responsibilities, and all i want to do is sit on the couch, watch tv, and feel bad for myself. It's a vicious cycle...I don't do anything because I feel depressed, and then I feel more depressed because I didn't do anything. Someone suggested the amino acid protocol and I think I might give that a try. I'm going to do a little more reading about it and maybe take a trip to gnc. I don't have anything to lose by giving it a try!!!