Jun 11, 2013
So I'm almost not sure how I got here. I didn't intend to stop right now, I intended to taper further. I was going on every 8 hours, then pushed it to 12 hours pretty easily... maybe because my slip up from my taper didn't last really long. Then I took my pill Sunday night, watching Game of Thrones finale, at about 10pm. The next morning at 10am I felt ok so I thought, I don't need this yet, so I'm not taking it. I got further and further through yesterday and said, well heck, lets see if I can make it 24 hours and I did.... almost too easily. I had alot of RLS last night that made it tough to sleep through, but I took Hyland's Restful legs 2 times I woke up and it helped like instantly. I'm just hoping it does a good job tonight too as I'm sure it will only be worse. I have been feeling pretty antsy, anxious, ect typical feelings I get when I had been stretching time between my doses in the past months but in all honestly, not as bad. Why?? I'm a little scared, wait, A LOT scared of what is to come. Why during my 2nd day of wd do I not feel like complete crap? I'm actually out in the field working today.... well, kinda working. I am making it a light day but I have to keep busy I think if I laid in bed I'd go crazy. I worked out last night... actually felt amazing, although I sweat like crazy during that class, much more than normal. I was kinda sweaty last night too. I guess my body is sweating it out. I wish I had a workout to go to tonight. I'm physically tired and even last night it was tough to start moving, but once I did, it was good. Maybe I'll do it myself tonight. The only other thing I'm feeling is a headache coming on, but is that because of w/d? Maybe, maybe not. I get headaches while on tramadol all the time. Hopefully it isn't too bad. I will probably try some tylenol or ibuprofen for it just to see if I can nip it in the bud.
You know what is kinda keeping me going through this... besides all the amazing support (and tough love... you know who you are, haha) is that my birthday is in a month, and i'm going back home to visit my family. It would be AMAZING to turn 32 and be done with this stuff! and last summer when I went back home for almost 2 weeks I was concerned about having enough meds.... I'd LOVE for this time to not have to worry about anything like that!